Chapter 39:

She closed her eyes tightly before she had the chance to see the result; she breathed one last breath, probably the deepest breath in her life, and opened her eyes blinkingly. She looked down at the test tube and shock grabbed her.

In front of her eyes, in a vivid red color, were two parallel lines. Hermione could have fainted right there and then. Was it really true?

'NO. It can't be, it just can't. Clearly the test strip was mistaken, maybe I did something wrong. No, it just can't be! I refuse to believe it.'

Hermione re-read the instructions and used the second free test strip to see if the result would be the same. After three minutes of staring at the two parallel lines in the first tube, Hermione finally gathered enough courage to look at the new testing tube.

The results were the same. She tried rubbing her eyes, to make sure she wasn't seeing lines from staring at the first tube for 3 minutes, but nothing changed what she saw, it was still two red parallel lines.

'What now? What do I do now? Why is it that when it comes to anything else I always have the answer, but when it is the most important matter in my life I am clueless? How is it that me, Hermione Granger, the Hermione Granger got knocked up. This is unimaginable and unbelievable. I wouldn't accept it, this couldn't be. Why? When? How?

Draco… it is all his fault, he did this to me, he did it! But how would he react? Surly he's not ready to be a father? Do I tell him, but if I won't, who should I tell? Ruby? No, I'm too ashamed to tell anyone.

Why do I have to carry this burden? I didn't do anything wrong? What am I guilty of? Loving? Since when is loving a sin?'

Hermione was in the worst misery and shock of her life. She didn't know what she wanted to do, she didn't know who she could turn to, who would listen and understand. She didn't know what was wrong and what was right anymore. All she knew was that if she didn't do anything, soon, she would hold a baby in her hands in a matter of nine short months.

She went back to her room and scanned through her book collection. She had thousands of books, but not even one of them had any useful information on pregnancy. She was still undecided about telling Draco. One part of her kept on saying that he was the future father and he had every right to know, yet another part of her was scared of his reaction and opinion on the matter.

How was she to tell him that his life is about to change upside down when he didn't even have it settled yet? Who was she to push such responsibility and difficulty on him?

And how would he react? Maybe he would tell her to go fuck herself and leave her forever? Maybe he would accuse her of cheating, or come up with some other absurd idea? How would she ever cope with that?

No, telling him wasn't an option, not yet any way. She wasn't ready to face it herself, let alone admit it out loud. She searched and read every book she had but nothing that was written was useful enough. That was when she decided she would call up a clinic and go for a consultation. She would talk to a professional about the whole procedure, and then she will decide.

She called up the clinic by her house and made an appointment for the same afternoon. She practically begged the secretary to shove her in somewhere. She couldn't wait much longer, she had to do what she knew she must.

Draco woke up and headed to wash his face. After a quick wash up he was back in the room standing over her.

"Is everything ok?" he asked.

"Yes, everything is fine." she lied.

"You seem a little off, are you sure you're ok?" he asked a little worried.

"Draco I'm fine, really. I just miss my parents, and I'm worried about the war, and all. It's probably just one of those days." she replied with a fake cheery voice.

Draco noticed she wasn't being too honest but decided to drop the subject. He knew that questioning her wouldn't lead anywhere and might cause a fight between them. That was something he would rather prevent.

He came from behind her and hugged her while sighing into her shoulder. She leaned her head on his shoulder and had to bite her bottom lip to prevent the tears that were ready to flow freely down her face.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it will all work out soon." Draco reassured her while kissing her temple.

'I hope so. I really do.' Hermione thought to herself and hurried to get up and make some breakfast.

After a quick breakfast Hermione got dressed and was ready to leave. She told Draco that she was going to meet Ruby and that she will be back soon. Draco believed her and wished her an amazing time.

She got in the cab and headed to the clinic, nearly ready to have a nervous breakdown. When she got there, she noticed the clinic was crowded but not over crowded. Every girl in the room looked as nervous as she was, and they all sat in an uncomfortable silence.

Hermione filled out the necessary paper work and awaited her name to be called. She was staring at some channel that screened on a small TV in the corner of the room. She wished for their armchairs to be a little more comfortable but knew that this was standard for muggle doctors.

When the nurse called her name, Hermione got up and started heading into the office, her knees trembling slightly. She stopped for a second, breathed three deep breaths and continued walking.

She sat inside the room awaiting the doctor. She felt like she was boxed inside of it with no way out. By the time the doctor came in Hermione was pacing from the window to the examine chair and back again. He asked her for a urine sample to make sure she was really pregnant and after they received a positive result they started discussing the various options she had.

Hermione didn't like either option but knew she must come to a decision. She knew that a baby didn't have a place in her life right now, and as much as she protested abortion she must undergo one. She made an appointment for the coming up Friday and left the office dumbfounded.

She arrived home after a very long walk in the park. There she weighed all of her options out once again, and came to the same conclusion. She wouldn't tell Draco of the procedure she was scheduled to do. Yes he was the future father of the baby, but this baby was to grow in her womb, and change her life completely. It was she that would give birth to it, and raise it. Hermione knew that her decision not to tell him was wrong, but she felt she must do this on her own. If they were meant to have a child, they would have one. When the time comes.

Draco noticed her down mood and tried to do everything he could to cheer her up, yet nothing worked. He cooked her some dinner, in the hopes that a rest will make a change for the better, but it didn't.

Instead of talking and laughing, like they usually did during dinner, there was an awkward silence at the table. Draco was eating, and Hermione was picking at her food without really having a bite.

Quickly after dinner was over Hermione headed to her bedroom. She complained about a headache, which wasn't a complete lie, and lay in bed, her mind still troubled with thoughts.