The tear that his parents had created when they died, which had been healing for the past nine years, seemed to reopen. Except now it felt worse than before. Ghirahim had given him false love, had pretended to care for him, but to Link, it had felt so real and it had been exactly what he needed to begin to feel better. Not pity, not frustration at his silence, but a patient, innocent, kindness directed at him.
But then he left Link in tatters, back at square one.
The small boy didn't leave his room. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't see anyone. All he seemed capable of doing was crying out his fresh grief, and when the tears stopping coming, he just sat in empty silence, staring out the window. He stopped sleeping, lucky to get a few hours at night that were plagued with night terrors.
'I hate you', he told Ghirahim in his thoughts. 'I hate you and I never want to see you again because of what you did to me. I'll never forgive you for being just like everybody else.'
Zelda would repeatedly come knock on his door, saying that she loved him, and was worried about him, that she missed Ghirahim too, that she wanted to see his face again. Gaepora would always call when it was time for dinner, hoping beyond hope that maybe, this time, just this once, Link would come out and eat. Link didn't hear from Zant. But, after all, he had just lost seeing his best friend...
...that is, he didn't hear from Zant until late one night. Zant didn't knock, he didn't ask him to leave, he just pressed his palm to the door, and said, "...Link, he's on the phone. He wants to hear you."
That had Link jerking up, head snapping to stare at his door. He didn't speak. He didn't make any move towards the entrance.
...why would Ghirahim want to talk to him? Just last week, hadn't he screamed in Link's face that he hoped the boy never found his words? Was he going to tell Link how much he hated him, how this was all his fault? Was he hoping to make Link feel like even worse shit?
Empty eyes stared with a small hint of suspicion at the doorknob. Was this a trick to get him to open his door? ...no. Zant wouldn't do something like that.
He tried to tell himself that he should just ignore this. FUCK Ghirahim and his phone call, because it would just end up hurting Link even more than he already was.
...yet, somehow, his heart disagreed, crying out and straining against his ribcage, begging him to go, to take the phone, to hear him. Unable to resist such a strong urge, his breath catching in his throat and his stomach squirming, he got to his feet and shuffled to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open, just a crack. The hallway was dark, but Link could see the glow of the phone in Zant's hand. It casted shadows over the older brother's features; the deep creases under his eyes, the tears on his face, the anguish in the way he carried himself... the call was on speaker. He could hear shuffling on the other end of the line, and knew that it was Ghirahim, and that he wanted to speak to him...
Why?
Link couldn't bare looking at Zant, knowing that he probably looked like shit. He had lost weight, his body worn down from the grief, and lack of sleep and food. He had heavy bags under his eyes, and he was certain that his face mirrored the lost, empty feeling that seemed to swallow him whole.
He wrapped his arms around himself self-consciously, staring at the phone. His throat felt like shit, and the only time that he had used his voice since Ghirahim had left was to scream and cry. It was all he could manage to choke out, when a tired "What," came tumbling from his lips. He dimly registered how the sound hurt.
Link was expecting anything other than what he got. "...I don't hate you. You're still a fucking idiot, but I don't hate you." Ghirahim's voice was quiet and raspy, but Link could tell that it was him. "Of course it's my dramatic exit that finally unlocks your words. Of fucking course... stop sulking. I'm fine, you imbecile.."
Tears gather in his eyes, and he wrapped his arms tighter around himself. He didn't know if he believed that. He didn't think that Ghirahim was really okay. He was claiming that he didn't hate Link, but he had completely left him to fall apart. He had yelled at him, and ignored him, and gotten into that car without thinking about what that would mean to the small boy. Suddenly, his words rise to the surface of his being, and he's vomiting out sentences, hurt, and frustrated, and tried, and angry.
"No, you're not fine!" He snapped, voice breaking. "You were here, safe, and making me food and buying me books, and pretending to give a shit and I liked it! You went in the snow, found me and saved my goddamned life, and for what? I told you everything. I told you everything, Ghirahim! Do you understand that there isn't a single, living soul on this planet that knows what you now do, and you just throw that away like yesterday's trash, going back to that house like it's nothing! Like.. Like I'm nothing! Without a second thought! What am I supposed to do now?!"
He hasn't talked this much in nine years, and his throat gets more and more torn as his volume slowly rises to a frustrated yell. But Link ignores it, glaring at the phone as hurt bled into his tone. "And you're never going to come back, because all you want to do is hide there and call and claim that you don't hate me, that you're fine, that I should just go along as if everything is fine, when nothing is okay, and it will never be okay again!" He has to stop for a moment to cover his mouth, muffling a sob. "So yeah. You wanted to hear me? Fine, hear this, you asshole: If you don't hate me, than fucking prove it."
Everything crashes over him, and it's too much for him to handle, so he slams his door shut again without saying goodbye, throwing himself on the bed to muffle his sobbing.
Zant jumps, and more tears fall. He covers his mouth, trying to fight back sobs. Ghirahim hears what happened, and pauses, thinking. Through the door, Link hears him say, "...If you think that I'm some kind of coward for coming back here, then you are sorely mistaken! But, if you wish to see my face, then so be it. Meet me at the convenience store on Main Street. Tonight. Zant can drive you."
Link calms down, wiping furiously at his eyes as he considers it.
He shouldn't.
He really shouldn't. He's so tired, and he doesn't really feel like getting out of bed, let alone leaving his room and going for a drive. But he finds himself heading back towards the door. Quietly, he pulled it open again and gave Zant a miserable look. God, he's the worst person on earth.. his older brother looks so terrible.
He reached out a hand and laid it on Zant's arm for just a second before he snatched it back, a numbness washing over him again. And, in the same tone of voice that he had started in, he gave Ghirahim a short, tired, "Fine," before retreating into his room once more. The call ended, and Zant turned his phone into flashlight mode. Hesitantly, he stepped forward into Link's room, his eyes peering around at the mess and disarray. There are clothes and blankets and pillows on the floor, along with the books, breadcrumbs and dust. The bulb in his lamp has burnt out, and he hasn't been able to change it.
Link is tying his hair back and putting on a sweater, when he feels arms wrap around his shoulders. They hug him tightly, and Zant's forehead is pressed against his hair. Tears drip down his neck, but he doesn't mind. He doesn't pull away. For the first time in a week, he lets himself relax into the comfort of another human being.
His own tears build up. His heart twists.
And suddenly, Link misses Zant, his warmth, his presence, with such a strength that he swings around and throws his arms around his brother's waist, holding on tightly.
I'm sorry for how I've been hurting you. I'm sorry for locking myself away. I'm sorry that I drove Ghirahim away, this is all my fault.
Zant clings to him even tighter, his body wracked with sobs. His hands tremble as they grasp at Link's sweater, holding onto him as if he's what's keeping Zant alive. He buries his face in Link's shoulder as his hands are constantly shifting, seeking to hold Link tighter, longer... he misses him, Link realized. It only served to make his chest constrict further. With everything going on, he had plenty of time to stew in negative thoughts.
Surely the family would see, now, how fragile he was? How much of a horrible son, a horrible little brother he was, that he was too broken to be of any use to them? Maybe they would send him away now.
But Zant was here. He had missed Link, and he was hugging him. There was so much the smaller boy wanted to say to him. He wanted to catch up, he wanted to babble to him about everything, but they didn't have time for that now. When they both felt better, Zant wiped his eyes, taking Link's hand in one of his, and flapping the other around. Stimming, Link realized.
"...I'm sorry. I didn't... I..." Zant fumbled. "...I'm happy to see you."
Link held on tightly to the offered hand, sniffling quietly. Giving a watery smile, he speaks with a voice that was quiet and raspy. The more he used it, the more it seemed to clear up, but it was still adjusting to the new activity.
"s-okay. I'm.. sorry. I missed you, I just-" He broke off before he could even mention Ghirahim's name. Deep breath in. Try again. "I'm happy. To see you too, I mean." He cringed and looked down, swallowed hard. His voice sounded like shit, and he wasn't used to hearing it yet, and was still getting used to talking, both physically and emotionally. But he wanted to be able to talk freely with Zant.
"Your voice is great," Zant blurts, and then lifts his hand to scratch at his hair, nervous. "I... I mean. I'm bad at understanding. I don't... know what people are thinking. Emotions are hard... so talking helps," he gives a watery smile, chewing on his lip. "I'm sorry... It helps if you talk. So I can understand. I'm just excited. Your voice is great!" He clenches his empty fist tight enough that his nails dig into his palm. Link blinks up at him for a moment before his face breaks out in a shy smile, lighting up with joy.
"I'm sorry that I didn't.. that it took me so long," he rasped. "I couldn't.. it's.. complicated."
"Did Ghirahim help..." Zant murmered, and it took Link some time to process it as a question. "He helped me. I loved reading but not talking. But he knew I could. I was just scared. Scared of dad. Scared of Zelda... I'm not anymore."
Link jerked towards him, intrigued. Ghirahim had helped Zant as well? That would explain how he had somehow figured out that Link was scared of him, scared of talking in general, and did so with ease. He had seen it before, in Zant. "He made it a personal goal to get me to talk. Even though he had claimed he didn't like me."
Zant actually burst out into laughter, going into fits of giggles that last for so long Link starts to get worried. But as soon as he calms down, he's quick to explain. "H-he-he told me that too! he thought I was weird. He didn't like Gaepora. He thought Zelda was annoying. He said I was a lost cause... But he taught me to drive. Gave me lessons. He acted like I sucked. Then became my best friend!"
"S-seriously?" Link squeaked, shocked. Somehow, he had always assumed that the pair of boys had been friends from the moment that they met. He never would have guessed that Ghirahim had treated Zant in the same fashion that he had treated Link.
Zant beamed down at him. "Come on. Let's go see him." The look in his older brother's eyes is enough to ease some of the tension in him. It was his last chance to back down, but... he couldn't disappoint Zant like that, could he? And regardless of what Ghirahim had done, Link felt the strong urge to see him.
He had to know.
So when Zant guides him downstairs and towards the garage, Link goes with a warmth in his chest that he can't ignore. They climb into the car, and he leans over to lay against Zant's shoulder, feeling like his mind and his body aren't at war, for the first time in a week.
He relaxed. And with barely 8 hours of sleep under his belt in total for the week, he nods off into a light sleep almost immediately when the car starts and rolls into the dark night, humming soothingly.
Too soon, the car stops, and Zant unbuckles, turning to Link to wake him up. Yet as the older boy tries to rouse him, Link just groans. How he managed to fall asleep during a 15-minute drive, Zant can't fathom, and he feels bad to wake him, but brothers must do what brothers must do.
He gets out of the car and opens the passenger side to shake Link gently awake. The combination of the cold air and the shaking seems to do the trick, and Link reluctantly pulls himself from the depths of sleep and groans once more, though he sits up.
The sweet embrace of unconsciousness had been nice while it lasted, and his body cried for more as he struggled awake, but his mind forced himself into awareness, knowing that he'll get to see Ghirahim soon.
With blurry eyes that he rubs, Link climbs out of the car, stumbling behind Zant as the boy leads them into a small convenience store.
He blinks his eyes, getting them to focus.
And then he sees Ghirahim. He's in a uniform, giving an elderly gentleman a fake smile as he wishes him a good night and heads outside. As soon as he sees the both of them, he nods to an equally bored trainee that he's done with his shift, and hurries to the back. stripping off his work shirt. Link's jaw practically hits the floor, and he looks away, flushing red.
That's right... he now remembers that Ghirahim had mentioned having to work for everything that he owned. This must be where he did part time. His eyes travel back to the boy before falling away as a sudden shyness washes over him.
Ghirahim was changing his shirt, in clear view of him.
He flushes a deeper red, shrinking behind Zant so that he's out of immediate view.
What should he say to Ghirahim? What would the other boy say? What if he didn't say anything? Nerves fluttered restlessly in his stomach. Fuck, suddenly, Link kind of regretted leaving the house. He was hyper aware of how shitty he must look. Did he comb his hair at all today? He couldn't remember. Shit, would Ghirahim notice?
He hid behind Zant, embarrassed, and his hands unconsciously reached out to grasp at his brother's jacket, seeking comfort and protection. But Zant peered down at Link, befuddled, turning slightly to get a better read on what he was doing. That made Link retreat even more, grasping the edge of his jacket even firmer.
When Ghirahim emerges from the back room, he's wearing the white shirt that Link last saw him in. Without hesitation, he walks to the milkshake machine behind the counter, pulls out three cups and starts filling them with chocolaty goodness. The trainee, who's name tag says his name is Vaati, scowls at him.
"Ghirahim, you're going to have to pay for those."
"I didn't eat lunch today in anticipation of this, so you can choke on my dick, Vaati."
Link can't hold back the snort of amusement that bursts from him, and he peers around Zant to get a cautious view of the other boy. Ghirahim approaches the two of them, hands one milkshake to Zant, who sips at it happily, and then holds one out to Link.
Their eyes meet. Link takes in Ghirahim's neutral expression towards him. His hair tucked behind his ear. The bags under his eyes. The small bit of weight he's lost.
He's okay, but obviously not thriving.
Link takes the 'shake, and their fingers touch, but if Ghirahim notices, he doesn't comment on it.
"Come on, idiots."
"Bye, fucktard. Don't come back," Vaati interjects.
"Is that what your mother told you this morning?" Ghirahim snaps back, and they leave the store.
Link trailed a little behind Zant and Ghirahim, watching as they gradually drew closer together. They were best friends, after all.
"I didn't know... you work here now?"
"It's a living, though a boring one. The manager expects us to do everything for him. I would have stayed at the mill... But I was tired of splinters, and it's... closer to my father," Ghirahim sighed. "Demise won't let me have a car. Let alone carry my own fucking license. You know how he is."
Zant nodded, unenthusiastic.
Link tries not to eavesdrop, but it's hard not to, so instead he examines the milkshake in his hands, trying to appear is if he isn't paying attention to them. Of course, he knows what a milkshake is, he hasn't been living under a rock. He's just never had a chance to try one before, and his stomach seemed eager to finally consume some sugar, so he takes a hesitant sip.
When the chocolate hits his tongue, his eyes widen. Holy shit, this was really good. It was just the right amount of creamy but it was also had the right amount of thickness...
He's been missing out.
As they approached the car, Zant reaching the driver's side door, Ghirahim called shotgun, so Link had to climb into the backseat. Though he was pleased to find a warm blanket draped back there. With all the sugar in his system, at least he wouldn't fall asleep again.
"...I missed you. I'm sorry. About all of this," Zant said, softly into the car.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm aware. I'm gorgeous, the best and you're lucky to have me, you don't have to say it!"
Zant outright snorted, trying to stop milkshake from coming out of his nose. And Ghirahim just smiled, like he understood completely.
"Warehouse, come on! You must know the drill by now, you dolt!"
Zant just nodded, still laughing, and started the car rhythmically, as if following the car manual instructions in his head. As soon as they were on the road, Ghirahim turned on the radio to classic rock, and they drove out of the city in style.
AN: Right! So! Here is a quick update, though there is another one that is coming tomorrow! Thank you to everyone who continues to review, because it truly does encourage me to update faster, knowing that there is, indeed, still an audience for this fics! Chapters should be rolling out a little faster and a little more regular now, aiming for once a week. And I promise you that I will not abandon this story! It shall be finished! :) Because I love these two idiots, haha! Anyway, be on the lookout later tonight for another update!