Chapter 8 - Confession

What the fuck? April fuckin' fools? You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me! I 'bout shit on myself so Vin could fuckin' laugh at me? I was so fuckin' mad, I bit my lip an' busted the sumamabitch again to keep my fuckin' cool! I wanted to laugh, but that woulda shook my image at that point in time. I had to admit, though. Vin got me good this year. He got Yuffie's ass real good last year! When we were on vacation the one time Vin did come with us, all he did was tell her he was a fuckin' vampire an' he had her paranoid the whole damn day! Before she went to sleep, Vin went into her room and said "April Fools" in that monotone fuckin' voice of his. Yuffie went fuckin' ballistic! She didn't do nothin', though. Who would? It was fuckin' Vincent Valentine! The man who ain't afraid to cap your ass if he thinks you're out of line!

I cooled off an' went downstairs to see Vin sittin' with Tifa talking 'bout somethin'. I knew they were talkin' about me. Tifa noticed me standing in the dining room doorway.

"Hi, Cid. Vincent told me what you said. I didn't know you felt that way."

I thought, what the hell is she talkin' about? I didn't say shit to Vin! He said some deep shit to me, though. I mean...deep! I took it upon myself to sit in the chair next to her.

"What are you talkin' about, Tifa?" I was kinda wantin' to hear what Vin had said to her.

"Vincent told me that you like being around him so much that you're making this a permanent arrangement. I'm touched." Tifa folded her arms like she was a little upset. I didn't say that, but I wouldn't have hated to stay that much, so I didn't say anything. She looked up at the antique clock Vin had hanging over the stove in the kitchen.

"Well." She started. "It's 12:01. You know what that means." She started grinin' a big ass kool-aid grin. I didn't know what the hell she was talking 'bout!

"What does it mean, Tifa?" Vin said with a little...s-a-r-c-a-s-m...sarcasm! That's that word! Damn! I forgot I'm tellin' you a story here. anyway, that's what Vin said.

"You know. Every 2nd day of April, we make our confessions."

FUCK! How could I forget this? The last one was pretty fuckin' intense! We found out that Cloud's always lookin' mad as hell 'cause he stays fuckin' constipated! Nasty. Just nasty! Red gave him some of the dog food he eats and it cleared right up, though. Anyway, Barret still has that damn sailor outfit and still fuckin' wears it! Where, he didn't say. Tifa said she walks around the bar nude sometimes, even while customers are lookin'! Hot shit, huh? Something 'bout bein' proud of who she is or some shit. Vin didn't tell us anything. He never did 'til now. Red told us that he plays catch with Yuffie when we ain't around. No big deal to us. Yuffie told us that she has ADD or somethin' an' takes Speed to help it. bullshit! Speed don't help ADD for nothin'! Cait had somehow 'broken down' and stopped workin' when his turn came round. Bitch! My turn came an' I told everybody that despite my toughness and uber man power, I cry in my room every wednesday. Don't fuckin' laugh at me! Y'all don't know how bad bein' the best damn pilot and the best lookin' man in that whole damn group (Vin doesn't count 'cause he didn't talk to us then) wears on me! I have to cry even when ain't shit to cry about just to get it out of my fuckin' system! Anyway, the thing about that one was all of us were together then. It was just me, Vin, and Tifa this time. It was gonna get real deep this time. No doubt.

"Everyone else isn't here, so we can talk about some things we normally wouldn't talk about around them." Tifa got this serious look on her face like she was gonna tell us some big secret. "So no holding back. Okay?" We all nodded. I was tryin' to think of some lie to tell these two to keep them from fuckin' bulldogin' me all day! Tifa went first.

"Okay. Listen good." She leaned in close like she didn't want anyone else but us to hear what she was gonna say (hell, we were the only fuckin' people there!) "You two...are the only two members of Avalanche that I haven't had sex with!"

Both me and Vin looked at her like deers caught in headlights! I personally couldn't believe what the hell I heard! I don't know what Vin was thinkin'. Then somethin' hit me.

"Wait a fuckin' minute, Tifa! How the hell can we be the only ones you didn't do anything with when there were two women, a wolf-lion thing, and a fuckin' doll with us?" I asked.

Tifa folded her arms back and shifted her hair out of her eyes. "I gave Red a hand job that he liked very much. I gave Yuffie my mastered Ice materia and paid her 200 Gil to let me eat her out. As far as Cait Sith goes...well...there's a man behind that puppet that can't get enough of me!"

I was shocked as hell, but I kinda saw it coming. No chick with knockers like Tifa's just keeps them to herself.

"Before you ask" Tifa started. "The Turks aren't as bad as we made them out to be. Me and Rude hooked up mabye two weeks after the battle with Kadaj and he invited Reno to join in. He invited Elena and she invited Tseng. Rufus didn't want to join in for some reason, but no love lost because those four were awesome! Especially Rude. He was so gentle he made me purr! He was definitely bigger than Reno and Tseng that's for sure!"

I thought to myself, What the fuck? Tifa started an orgy with the Turks? This bitch is fuckin' unstoppable! She stretched her arms behind her head, makin' her shirt tighten across that chest of hers. She yawned then continued.

"I even gave that evil short-haired guy Loz 'the eye' when we faught that day. I thought about him ever since. Just wondering how good he'd be in bed. He looked like he'd like it rough. I almost had an orgasm when he teleported behind me. He smelled so good. Like roses."

Vin cut in. "Wait, Tifa. Aren't you forgetting someone?" She looked up at the ceiling and started thinkin'. Then she got this suprised look on her face.

"Oh! You mean Aeris. No offense to her, but hell no! I would never do her like that. She's too pure. I didn't want to look at her face sometimes because it made mine feel dirty. And I'd shutter to think what was underneath that dress! I heard Cloud banged her. It kind of hurt me at first to know he did her before he did me, but then I thought about how loose she had to be when they finished and I started laughing to myself."

I wanted to fuckin' get up and go take a shower 'cause Tifa made me feel so damn dirty about actually wantin' her nasty ass! I remember thinkin', who the hell is this chick I'm talkin' to? I could not believe what she told us that day. Maybe more like I didn't want to believe it at the time. She cleared her throat, which gave me an 'impure thought' or some shit they say.

"Ok, Cid. It's your turn. Don't hold back, okay?"

Damn, I thought to myself. I didn't have anything to give these two that would top Tifa's shit, so I just made up somethin'. "I...um...I don't like the way Cloud's always makin' us feel like we're not important ta him!" I went along with it 'cause it sounded pretty legit. "I mean, he won't come visit unless you ask him to, Tifa. He won't call. He won't even write, for fuck's sake! It just makes me ill, man! I didn't wanna have to say that in front of you, Tifa, but I had to get it out without makin' him feel sorry for himself."

Tifa nodded. "Yep. That definitely would've made him think about himself in a different shadow. Don't worry, though. I won't tell if you don't."

I put one hand over my heart and the other in the air like I was swearin' in court. Vin just turned his head away from us. I guess he was a little upset that his turn came around so damn quick. He stood up out of his chair and cleared his throat like he was fixin' to say somethin'. Instead, he walked around the table and our eyes were on him the entire time. He made it round the table to me. Me an' Tifa's eyes were still fixed on him when he held that jet black hair of his back behind him and shocked the hell outta both of us (more so me)! He pulled my face to his with his free hand and he kissed me like he was gonna fuckin' die if he didn't! I 'bout fell out of my chair. Hell, I did fall outta my chair! Our faces were still locked up as he leaned in closer and closer, forcin' me down to the fuckin' floor. He loosened up the death lock after maybe a minute, left me lying there on the damn floor to catch my breath, and walked outside like nothin' happened. Tifa's eyes were fuckin' wide as hell! Mine were even wider! He kissed me! In front of Tifa! The thing was, though, I kinda liked it. for someone who's never had a woman in his entire fuckin' life, however long that's been (he told me, but I didn't believe him so I forgot), Vin sure is a damn good kisser! Vin's good at a lot of things, huh? He had me short of breath and Tifa short of words! I'll tell you one thing...Vin topped Tifa's confession all fuckin' hands down!