Chapter 46:
Hermione stayed laying on the floor, sobbing loudly, her tears rolling down onto the cold tiles. She placed her face on the tiles and her hands over her hair, the cold floor brought a rush through her senses and snapped her back to reality. She was pulling her own hair out of self rage. How could any of this have happened? How could she let it?
She started banging her fists against the cold floor yelling: "Why must this happen? Why now? Why us?" as hysterical tears kept on streaming down her face. All was lost now, and she had no idea how to get it all back.
Draco left, he really did leave. They just had one of the biggest fights in their relationship and he walked out on her and their future. How was she to live without him? What kind of life was there without him?
She started sobbing harder, feeling her body getting number by the second. Her head kept on playing the fight over and over again, causing guilt to take over any other emotion. She truly felt like she betrayed the love of her life. And she couldn't' blame him for his actions.
After their first fight one would think that she would learn her lesson, that she would be smarter than to repeat her previous actions. But no, she made the same stupid mistake all over again, only this time it stroke harder and eliminated any chance of them being together ever again.
She wasn't ashamed of him, she really wasn't, but her actions couldn't prove it. As many letter as she got from Harry it was hard not to remember to tell him everything. She had an internal battle every time she wrote to him, but for some strange reason her better side always lost.
Hermione knew her actions devastated Draco. She knew he was probably hurt as he's never been before at this exact second. How could you hurt someone you love so badly? How can love blind you to the point where you don't realize you've passed the line?
Hermione was in the middle between two loves. A love she had for her best friend, that was very strong and consistent. After all they've been best friends for six years and Hermione knew she would do anything to keep his friendship and trust.
On the other hand she had a whole new love. An amazing love that placed a smile on her face every single morning. The kind of love that would stick with her, her whole life through. The kind of love she knew she didn't want to lose, but was it too late?
She didn't' know how to act. Nobody would in her place. If she would have told Harry about Draco, it would have most definitely lead to his death. He would go off track in his mission and would do something hasty and rush, and would probably end up dying.
She didn't tell Harry about Draco, which could have been excused somehow after loads of I'm sorry's and please forgive me's, but the fact that she covered up being in touch with Harry was the thing that hurt Draco the most.
Not telling Draco was the main reason the fight got so far and Draco left. And what good came out of not telling Draco? What was the use of it now? She kept Harry as a friend yet she lost her lover, life partner, and father of her unborn child.
What is she to do now? Where is she going to find Draco? And if she does find him, what could she possible do to get his forgiveness.
At this moment death really did look like much a better option. If she were dead non of this would matter, and she wouldn't' hurt any more. But Hermione was smarter than that. She wouldn't just give up and quit life. She had to do something, anything. She didn't care that she didn't know what it was she must do, but she will surely find out and do it.
She was laying down on the cold tile, her body completely numb. She was laying silently. She wasn't shaking anymore, neither was she sobbing out loud. The only living signs in her were the silent tears that slid down her cheeks.
Hermione knew she had to get up but she couldn't' find enough strength in her body to do so. Forget about getting up, she couldn't find enough strength for her brain to send a signal for her muscles to move.
She continued lying, and staring at the sequence on the floor. She looked at it, but didn't really see it. She laid there for hours, not even noticing the time fly by. She didn't get up, neither did she move a muscle. She laid there wide awake until she saw the first rays of sunshine peer through the window.
It was morning and Draco still didn't come back. She desperately hoped he would get over his anger and come back to talk it all over again with her. She wanted him to come back, but no sign of Draco was seen or heard.
Little by little, as many more slow minutes crept by, Hermione finally fell asleep. It wasn't a sound or comfortable sleep as she was still laying on the cold floor, but it was an exhausted sleep.
She didn't dream anything, neither did she feel peaceful. She just slept there, tears still sliding down her cheeks in her sleep. She hoped that somehow Draco will return and she wanted to be there for his return. She couldn't miss it, no matter what.