Bo tossed and turned in her bed. She had been awake for hours and was finding it extremely difficult to go back to sleep. It was always strange sleeping in strange beds. Even hotels and motels. But the bed was not the reason for her unrest. She had been thinking about Lauren since she entered her room that night. Aife had found them a nice enough place to stay and Bo was grateful for it. She hoped the bed wasn't making so much noise that it was keeping Lauren awake too.

Taking two deep breaths, she rolled on her back and stayed there. Her eyes roamed around the room and took in the sights. She had a dresser, a few nightstands and a walk-in closet. A ceiling fan hung over the bed. She thought about turning it on so she could get lost in the rotation. But she was nowhere near hot. She was barely warm. All she wanted was to find her mother when she hit town, and now she had.

She had also found love. She sighed thinking about it again. She hadn't said those words in years. Never came close to telling anyone she loved them. After she left home, she had to train herself to keep her personal life personal. Leave her feelings out of everything. Every feed. Every conversation. Didn't matter anyway because once she slept with them they were dead the next morning. She wasn't picky about her bedmates before. They slept together, she fed, and that was it. She'd slither out the door, jump in her car and hope nobody thought enough to follow her back to her warehouse of a house. When she first found it, it was empty, with mice running rampant. She managed to clean it up as best as she could and filled it with discarded furniture.

She thought about saving Kenzi that night. She was ready to run the next morning, so she couldn't get too involved in whatever was going on with Kenzi's aura. She seemed innocent enough but that was too dangerously close to having feelings. Platonic feelings but feelings, nonetheless.

But who is she kidding now? She's in this house. This bed for one reason only. The Doctor that had answered a question she had wondered about for years. She's a Succubus. Not only is she a Succubus, she's a Succubus that doesn't need fixing. At least that's what Lauren looked her in the eyes and told her. Every other quack she had been to, didn't do that. They kept telling her they saw nothing they could fix. So, Bo assumed someone should be able to fix her.

Lauren hadn't fixed it, but she was, is starting to fix Bo. Fix her monster paranoia. Fix her abandonment paranoia. Help her to see that she can be appreciated and loved. That's what she felt the first time Lauren's tongue touched hers. It was warm and everything she had been waiting for since Kyle. Then the lie came. Bo moved up to sit with her back against the headboard. She was tired of being in her head, and the only person that needed to know why she was ready to run again for good, is Lauren

She gently stood up and tiptoed over to her bags. She pulled out an outfit and tiptoed out of the room to the bathroom. She sighed in relief when it was empty. She showered and went downstairs. The house was so quiet, she was sure she was the first one up. She grabbed some water and took a seat at the table. When Lauren is up and ready to talk, she would find her there. Ready, and not about to run. She panted as she waited.

Lauren

Lauren had been up for hours. Having been in extreme situations before, she knew how to sleep in the bed without ever making it make a sound. She is practically a stranger here. A guest. Something she has always felt like for years with the Fae. Only her stay was never warm or welcomed. It was forced. It was cold. It was methodical.

Get up. Get dressed. You have five minutes. You're hungry? You won't be fed until you have put in some work. Hours and hours of work. She clinched her jaw at the thought. She wasn't even allotted new clothes, so she had to wear the same outfits. The only thing that made her feel remotely good and like herself is her lab coat. At least that was who she really is and turned into when she started to work. Thankless work.

She bent forward and buried her head in her hands. Nadia. Nadia was long gone. She had never come back to Toronto with Lauren. She died in the Congo. She suddenly realized when she had gone to talk to her in her pod, she was talking to the Fae that the Succubus had killed. She had been alone for over four years. She should have been free a long time ago. But they used her for what she is, a caring, professional, life saving Doctor. Her livelihood is her curse.

She rubbed her head violently and slammed her head back against the pillows. At least she has pillows now. She was only given a bed, and blankets for her private quarters. The only other time she had touched pillows again was in Bo's bed. She angered at the thought. Yanking the covers off of her, she grabbed some fresh clothes and went to bathe.

Kitchen

"Well you're up early". Aife laughed as she walked into the room.

"Not now please". Bo said quietly.

"Oh honey. A moping Succubus is never good. But in your case, it is adorable". Aife laughed again.

"Mom. Please". Bo said in a softer tone.

"What is it now? She won't talk to you? She won't look at you? She won't play doctor with you? Aife laughed harder.

"If this is how it is going to be, I will take my things and leave". Bo suddenly stood.

"Then I will watch your..". Aife started and turned when she heard footsteps.

"I don't need watching. Thank you for the roof and the bed, but I do know how to get by, on my own". Lauren walked in pulling a jacket on.

"Don't mention it". Aife smiled at the blonde. She glanced at Bo and giggled internally at how the Succubus was stuck in place.

Lauren grabbed two pieces of toast and juice from Lou Ann, but she had yet to acknowledge Bo.

"I haven't even showered yet. I will leave the three of you to breakfast". Lou Ann said as she washed her hands in the sink.

"Oh, I am not staying for this". Aife laughed as she walked out of the room too.

Bo rolled her tongue in her mouth. She couldn't think of a thing to say. She couldn't move either. Only this time her Succubus wasn't keeping her in place, Lauren's aura is. She watched the Doctor eat her small breakfast and set the glass and small plate into the sink.

"Lauren". Bo gasped.

"Don't". Lauren said angrily.

Bo stepped forward and reached out to the Doctor, but Lauren was having none of it.

"Lauren". Bo said softly.

"Lauren what? You want my necklace to throw again? Well here you go". Lauren threw it at Bo and didn't bother to look and see if she caught it.

Bo let the necklace fall to the floor. It wasn't good for Lauren and it deserved to be on the floor.

"Lauren I'm sorry I did that. But I only did it because of what you did". Bo said quietly keeping her distance.

"Why were you mad, it wasn't you that I slept with was it Bo? Lauren laughed.

Bo cringed. "It was me Lauren. It was all of me. I thought you understood".

"I understand perfectly. You know what you are now and will use that to shit all over me. But you won't do that to Dyson or Kenzi or Hale or to Trick or whomever the hell is not named Lauren Lewis". Lauren snapped angrily. She hadn't been upset like this in years. The only times that she actually showed any kind of emotion, even privately was when of her treatments to cure Nadia failed. And what the hell did that even matter now?

"You could have told me about her Lauren! You have had plenty of chances to! Did you think I was only coming to your lab for injections? Bo asked angrily. She was hurting too. Even for a baby Fae.

"Tell you what exactly? Tell you about the only weapon I had to keep me alive here". Lauren pulled her leather jacket hard against her.

"You could have told me that is what he was holding over you. I would have fixed it". Bo said tearfully. She loved this woman in front of her, and it was growing by the minute.

"You didn't fix it. She did. And why are you so upset about Nadia? Isn't your Succubus your safety net?". Lauren asked pointedly.

Taking some deep breaths, Bo stepped farther away. She paced two steps before she spoke again.

"I thought when you kissed me it was because you wanted me. I didn't think you slept with me for him. I almost wished you never told me. It crushed me to hear that Lauren. It crushed all of me. I had to get out of there before you saw me completely break down. You don't understand it. But I do. I love you Lauren. I love all of you. That's why I wanted to go slow. To make sure it was best for the both of us. Then we couldn't wait and then to find out that all of that was business to you hurt like hell. I am not a human, but I do have feelings. I can hurt. I can cry. I was crying when I stormed out of my bedroom, all the way to the front door. I was almost out of there before she stopped me. Then I realized why. She loves you too Lauren. She's killed for you. Brought you here. To be safe. She's never done that much before for anyone. She saved Kenzi from that asshole, but I brought Kenzi home. My Succubus brought you home. To me. To the both of us. I am telling you this now. Because you need to hear it, and I need to say it. And I will keep saying it. Until you trust me enough again to believe it". Bo explained.

Lauren shook her head and turned away from Bo. She stared at the door. She was about two steps from being outside. All she had to do was take those steps. All she had to do was move. The Succubus wouldn't stop her. Bo wouldn't stop her. But was she becoming Bo? About to run out without explaining herself. But she had explained herself. To Bo's Succubus, Bo heard it too, so there was nothing else to explain. But was there? Her mind was slowly creeping to overload.

She turned around and saw Bo standing in the same spot.

"I am not good enough for the Fae world Bo. I have been slammed into dungeons, talked about horribly, or ignored altogether. The only time I get a slither of respect is in my labs. Is it fair? No. But that is what I have come to expect over the last few years. I worked on whatever the Ash wanted me to work on, when he wanted me to work on it. I only had a few hours a day to work on curing Nadia. Other than that, I was to be kept in my quarters until he sent for me. To meet with him or help some random Fae with their wounds. Some of them laughed in my face when my human methods failed.

Nadia was my only solace. My only reason for going on day to day. She was my focus. At times I needed her to be my focus when I was ready to give up. There were dark, dark times. But that wouldn't have saved her life, by taking my own. You don't know what it is like. You can't know. You are at the top of the food chain so to speak.

The Ash hung that necklace on me when I was in the most embarrassing position imaginable. I had to give up my freedom as well as Nadia's or who I thought was Nadia. I am not sure who Nadia became but I do know my life has forever changed by the race that hates my kind the most. Unaligned or not, you joined them for good when you threw my necklace back at me". Lauren said as she stood watching Bo's expressions. Her eyes turned blue quite a few times as the Doctor spoke.

"I'm not them Lauren. There is a reason for that. I was raised by humans. I know emotions. I know feelings. I know love". Bo said gently stepping forward.

Lauren sighed and shook her head again. "I don't love you Bo. Not completely".

"I didn't say you have to or do. I know how I feel. You think it's easy being Fae? It's not as grand as it looks or how they made it look. I am not like them Lauren. I don't have to live by rules or sides. I don't want to live like that. Do I know everything about myself? No. But I do know how I feel. I love you. All of you. I never cared or thought about you being human. I just thought about you". Bo took a seat at the kitchen table. She felt she would be less imposing sitting down. She hoped Lauren didn't think she looked imposing like a Fae that was going to throw her around.

Lauren scratched her head. She had nothing to say. Not a single thought was coming to mind. She was being a tad unfair to Bo. She barely knew the woman. Barely spent more than a few hours with her outside of Fae business.

She looked around the room. It was cleaner than any room she had been in besides her four walls at home. Home. Was that even hers? Ever hers? Not even the clothes on her back were ever hers. Her clothes and bags had been left in the Congo because it was by the Ash's words imperative that they leave right then and there.

Her blood ran ice cold when she thought of Nadia. The last time she saw her Nadia was in the Congo. Everything she had that belonged to her was all left in the Congo. She clenched her jaw again thinking she should have let the Fae die. The Ash was the first one that had the Fae plague, since she saved him first, he presented her the options of allowing her to use his Fae resources to find a cure for Nadia. Imagine cursing someone and then saying they were ill with something human related. She shook her head again.

"I'm sorry about Nadia." Bo said tearfully.

Lauren was stuck. Stuck between her feelings and to Aife for allowing her a nice place to sleep after such a shitty day before. To Bo's Succubus for getting her out of there to begin with. Then there is Bo. The Bo sitting here spouting off affections Lauren was still torn with.

Yesterday she still had a gf. A gf she loved. One she thought loved her. One that was waiting on her to cure her so they could be free. Free to move far away from the Fae. But Lauren's intelligence affords her the knowledge of knowing she was never going to be free again. Real Nadia or fake Nadia. She signed her life away a long time ago. They were never going to allow her to walk away without strings attached to the deal and her. Then this Fae sitting on the other side of the room showed up. She looked and felt like no other Fae the doctor had ever touched. There was a warmth in her eyes when the Doctor was only used to seeing ice in the others.

"I don't know what you want from me Bo. I'm not free. I'm not free to love. I'm not even free to breathe right now". Lauren pulled her jacket closer and shuddered at her own words.

Bo stood and walked over to Lauren. She looked down and held her hands out for Lauren to take them. She sighed in relief when the Doctor did.

Lauren lifted her head and looked Bo dead in her eyes.

"You don't have to do anything. Just stay here. With me". Bo said gently.

"I don't have anything. Nothing. No money. Nothing. Look where we are Bo. I can't afford this. I don't a have girlfriend to bargain with. At least in a sick way with the Nadia, I thought I had in a pod, I was earning my way". Lauren said as she looked around the house.

"Lauren Lewis. You don't to have to have a dime to your name. There is no patient you need to bargain me with. I'm not them. I just want a chance to earn your trust again. To show you that I love you and that you can count on me to do the right thing. I am not saying I won't get upset like yesterday, but I am saying I won't walk away like that again. We talk. Like we are doing right now. I can read your aura, but I cannot read your thoughts. I don't need you to give me anything. You certainly don't need to give mom anything. If she wanted anything out of you, she would have asked by now. She's that bold". Bo gently released Lauren's hands. "Now I know you need more than toast and juice because you barely ate yesterday. Or we can go out for breakfast".

Lauren twisted her lips. She was lost again. If she goes out to eat with Bo. That would look like a date. If she stays to eat with Bo, it would be like moving in with her. If she slept under this roof again, it would be like a room and board. She just left that yesterday and is still wary that none of this won't cost her in the end.

"So, I guess we are staying in to eat". Bo set the table when Lauren couldn't make up her mind.

Lauren opened her mouth and then closed it again. She watched the brunette search all through the refrigerator and pulled her jacket off.
"I'll cook. I've seen your cooking". Lauren said softly.

Bo smiled and put her hands up "Okay".

TBC