Jack Twist turned his black F-150 down Bella Vista Dr. The SUV they had was really Lureen's, and she only let him drive it out when they went to business functions together. 'Wanna make a good impression,' she was always telling him. 'If we show up in that truck o' yers we'll look like a couple a rednecks, fer sure.' Jack would just stay quiet when ever she got preachy, never saying anything about how the only people in Childress were rednecks and that he was sure they wouldn't look twice if they'd drove up in a goddamn mobile home. It was easier to just keep his mouth shut, keep the peace. That's what he'd always done with L.D. Sure there were times when he'd wanted to throttle that son of a bitch, but it was just simpler to duck his head, say 'Sure thing, L.D.' and get on with it. Jack smirked at the thought of telling his late father-in-law to shut the hell up and looked at himself in his side mirror. He loved his truck. It suited him. Let Lureen keep her damn fancy SUV. All Jack Twist needed was a good reliable pick up to keep him happy. It didn't hurt, though, that his F-150 was the newest model.

Jack checked his watch. It was five till noon. He smiled.

"Perfect timing, Twist. Ya told 'er you'd be here at noon and y kept yer word."

His mother had always told him that being on time meant being five minutes early. Jack never listened to much of what his parents told him when he was a boy, though. He'd been known to be late everywhere he went, was always getting a beating for it from his daddy. Young Jack just never had anywhere he cared to rush to.

Jack sighed, relaxed his shoulders, and tried to let a little of that young man return. He propped his arm out his open window and whistled softly to himself.

He was on his way to pick up his granddaughter, Eliza. She'd gotten back from Girl Scout camp the night before, only been gone for three days because she was still too young to stay for an extended time. Marla had called the house last night because Eliza had been eager to talk to her Pop. She'd wanted to have a "Poppa day", what she'd started calling the days that she spent entirely with Jack. He'd smiled at the excitement in her voice, and told her that he'd be there to pick her up the next day at noon. Told her he'd take her out to lunch and then whatever she wanted to do after that.

He'd actually been planning to stop into the office again; he'd been coming in every morning since Tuesday, something unusual for Jack these days. He'd told himself he was just trying to be a good business man, just trying to help out and keep things running, not allowing himself to think on how Newsome Farm equipment had been running pretty smoothly without him for about two years, not admitting that the real reason he'd been scampering out of the house like a spooked horse everyday was because when he was alone his thoughts drifted to a certain book laying in the drawer by his bed.

Jack looked at the book that he had wrapped for Eliza. It was sitting next to him on the passenger seat. He was excited to give it to her. Couldn't wait for her surprise. He knew her parents never gave her many books. Certainly had toys though, enough to make the prince of England blush, but what Eliza'd been real interested in lately was reading. She'd learned easy enough at school, and since summer started and she was faced with becoming a fourth grader in the fall, she just couldn't get enough "chapter books". She always got a real proud look on her face when she'd talk to Jack about the latest book she'd read, she'd fill him in on all the details of the story, which teacher was a monster this time or what the Baby Sitters Club was getting up to, and all the while Jack would nod his head and ask, 'That so?' like it was the most interesting thing he'd heard. Wasn't much else to interest him now, so why not give his little gal his full attention? Certainly didn't get enough from her daddy.

He pulled up to the quiet brick house that sat at 300 Bella Vista. It was charming enough, not anywhere as big as Jack and Lureen's house outside of town, but it was comfortable. The side of the house was lined with big sprawling oak trees and there was a pool in the back.

Jack turned off the ignition of his truck and got out. He tilted his hat back on his head; he'd picked out a light gray Stetson for the day (he still believed that the best and only brand of hat to buy was a Stetson), and made his way up to the dark brown front door.

Marla opened the door before he had a chance to ring the bell.

"Hey there Jack. I heard you drive up. Come in." She stood back and opened the door wide, inviting him into the yellow hall. He'd never really liked their yellow wallpaper, but it was their business and he certainly wasn't going to start telling his daughter-in-law how to decorate her house.

She smiled at him once he was all the way in, showed her big white teeth. He nodded his head in return.

"Come on, Liza's in the family room playin' with her Nintendo."

He followed the small-framed woman down the hall and through the kitchen. She was only about 5'3" but she had long arms and a mouth that was a little too big for her face. He hair was long and wavy brown, kept natural Jack had always noticed, and she usually wore a pair of fitted jeans and a tee shirt. She was a real sweet woman, Jack had always liked her, and she took good care of Eliza. Showed her the love and attention that sometimes Bobby didn't have time to. Jack'd always wondered how Bobby had ended up with such a little sweet thing like Marla. Weren't boys usually out to marry someone like their mother? Jack chuckled slightly to himself at that idea. If Bobby had married someone like Lureen they would have pecked each other to death like two roosters fightin' over who got to run the coop. Bobby was just as hard headed and set in his ways as his mama, and anyone less good-natured than Marla wouldn't have been able to stand living with him.

"I s'pose opposites really do attract. Not so sure where that rule fits in with me n' Lureen, though. Not like there's much attraction there."

Jack's thoughts were interrupted by a loud squeal and then his little girl was up off the floor and hugging Jack, even though she only came up to his waist. He laughed loudly and rubbed his hand over the top of her head. Her silky hair feeling like heaven under his worn fingers. He stepped back and picked her up so that he could look her straight in the face.

"Well how's my little girl doin', then? Didn't get bit by no rattlers at camp?"

Eliza just laughed and shook her head. Jack put on his best "shocked face".

"Yer kiddin' me. All them days away in the middle a' nowhere, and ya didn't even see a rattlesnake? What kind of camp was this?"

Eliza laughed again. "Poppa! You didn't even let me finish!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't know ya was gonna keep goin'. I'll button my lip." Jack raised his free hand up to his mouth and mimed buttoning his mouth closed.

"I didn't get any snake bites from any rattlers, but I did see one. Wednesday, when we were out fer our afternoon hike, Kelly-Ann Patterson heard one in the bushes and our counselor had to call the wild life ranger to come and get it outta our way!"

"Did she now? Well tell me this, when the ranger pulled the snake out from the bush, were you scared?"

Eliza let her jaw drop. "Scared? Me? No way! I may be a girl, but I'm not a sissy! I thought it was cool, but Kelly-Ann nearly fainted, we practically had to carry her the rest a' the way back ta camp."

Jack laughed, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and then set her down. Marla stood to the side, arms crossed, a big smile plastered across her face. Jack looked back down at Eliza.

"So are ya ready ta go or what? I've been here already fer…" Jack checked his watch dramatically, "'bout four minutes. Time's money girl, I can't wait all day!" He ran his hand over the top of her head again and then mussed her hair.

"Hey!" She said, trying to smooth her hair out flat again.

"Hay is for horses." Jack never got tired of using that old line on her. She made it pretty easy for him, though, because lately 'hey' seemed to be a part of her regular vocabulary.

She rolled her eyes and said, "Ha, ha. Very funny Poppa." She ran back into the living room to shut off her video game and put it back in the cabinet below the TV. Marla followed her into the room, Jack trailing behind.

"Now you remember ta take yer asthma inhaler and a sweater in case it gets cool out." She was watching her daughter with weary interest.

"I will. Doubt it's gonna get too chilly, though. It's June after all."

"You just watch yer mouth now, young lady. Don't wanna hear you start smartin' off to yer parents before you're even a teenager."

Jack rested his hand on Marla's shoulder. "Don't worry, Marla. I'll make sure she puts on her sweater if it does get chilly."

Marla turned her worried gaze to Jack.

"All right. I just worry about her, ya know? Ever since she had that real bad lung infection while back, she's been having pretty bad attacks."

Jack looked past the small woman, to the even smaller child still putting away her toys. She'd been born with a bad case of asthma, weak lungs. The doctors said it may have been because Bobby had still been smoking when Marla was pregnant. Bobby'd had some serious guilt over that, and had quit soon after. Unfortunately the damage had already been done. Eliza had been a pretty sickly child, in and out of the emergency room because of late night asthma attacks. The previous December, she'd gotten real bad off. Had a fever over 104ºF. They'd rushed her to the emergency room and tried to get her hooked up to an I.V., but her veins had collapsed. It had been a real scary time. His little girl had almost died. Ever since, Marla had been even more protective of her than she had been before. It took nearly two weeks of convincing her that three nights at Girl Scout camp wouldn't kill the girl. Jack had taken her aside and told her real calm like that keepin' her isolated and tryin' to stop her from doing what other kids did was harming her more than hurting her. She was still able to play and do things that other kids could, she just had to be more careful, and Eliza was old enough now to be able to judge when to slow down and use her inhaler when she needed.

Eliza tugged at Jack's shirtsleeve and he looked down to see that she had her sweater over her arm and her little backpack over her shoulder.

"I thought you said time was money? What're ya doing just standin' there like a scarecrow? Let's go!"

Jack let his smile return to his lips, all bad memories forgotten. He clapped his hands together.

"All right! Let's get a move on, then!" He headed back through the hall and to the front door singing the theme from "Rawhide" in a loud boisterous voice. Eliza just giggled, keeping any comments about how off tune he was to herself.

Marla stopped to check Eliza's bag before they left, to make sure that everything she needed was in there, and then they were out the door and on their way to have a "Poppa day."

"So what do ya wanna do now, kiddo?" Jack sat across from Eliza at the Pizza Hut on Ave. F in downtown Childress. They'd just finished eating a large cheese pizza, and Eliza pointed out that he had some pizza sauce on the corner of his mouth. Jack wiped the side of his face with his napkin.

"That better?"

Eliza nodded. She pushed the remains of her last piece of pizza around on her plate with her hand. Jack just watched her. She really was quite beautiful. She had shoulder length, dark brown hair that was slightly wavy like her mothers. Her skin was pale and delicate and she had big blue eyes that always seemed a little sad when she was quiet. She looked back up at him when she noticed he was starring.

"What? Do I got a booger in ma nose?"

"You're the booger, ya little squirt."

She smiled softly and kept playing with her food. Jack was slightly taken aback by her mellow behavior.

"Hey, did the cat steal your tongue, or somethin'? Why so quiet? You got somethin' that yer thinkin' on?"

Eliza looked up at him with her big eyes, looked like she was about to say something and then shook her head no.

"Hmmm…a Twist with nothin' to say. Not too common 'round these parts." He gave her one more questioning look and then remembered the book in his jacket pocket.

"Oh, hey, I got you somethin' while you were away at camp. Wanna see what it is?"

Eliza's head jerked up, all the trouble in her eyes suddenly replaced by excitement.

"You gotta guess what it is first."

Eliza sighed and rolled her eyes. "Come on, Poppa. Just give it to me. I never guess right."

"Well…as tempting as that sounds this just happens to be a magical present that only shows itself if someone correctly guesses what it is. You get three tries." Jack sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, loving this little game they had together. She knew that even if she guessed wrong he'd give it to her, but she still played shocked and intrigued.

"Okay. Is it…a Barbie?"

"Heck no! It's somethin' much better than that."

Eliza gave him a doubtful look. "Is it a pony?"

"Okay, yer gonna have to take it down by a few notches. It's not that good."

Eliza sat for a minute, running her tongue over her lip, thinking what it could possibly be that her Poppa had bought her. A slow smile came to her face, and an excited sparkle appeared in her eye.

"Is it a book?"

Jack sat up from his resting position and leaned close to Eliza.

"Little girl, you must have some sort of magical powers, because that is exactly what it is."

Her eyes sparkled and she laughed. "Yep, I'm a psychic, didn't my mom tell you?"

"Must've slipped ma mind." Jack pulled the wrapped package out from the inside of his coat and slid it across the table. She eagerly tore into the paper and squealed when she saw it was a Goosebumps book. She told Jack that she'd been dieing to read one of the new "choose your own fate" books, but her mom wouldn't buy one for her, said it would give her nightmares.

"Well, we'll just let this be our little secret then, how's that sound?"

Eliza nodded and ran her hand over her new book. Jack realized that now they both had a book that they had to hide from other people. He shoved the thought away and put his focus back on his little girl.

"So what do you wanna do? I asked you that a while back, but you never answered."

Eliza sat up in her seat. "Can we go to the library? Please, please, please, please!"

"Woah, there. I just bought you a new book. You need some more?"

Eliza let her mouth go into a full pout. Jack sighed.

"All right. The library it is. Thought you might want to go to the arcade or somethin'."

Jack pulled out his billfold and put some cash down on the table. The two of them headed out the truck.

"Damnit, damnit, damnit all to hell."

Jack was sitting in the reference section of the Childress Public Library.

"What the fuck do you think yer doing? This isn't going to fix anythin'. You should just go back to the children's area with Liza. Nothin' good will come of all this snoopin' and dickin' around."

When they'd gotten to the library, Eliza had practically dragged Jack to the children's section. She was so book hungry, it made Jack laugh. He'd never been this crazy about books. Then again, he'd never really had good schoolin' and working on his Daddy's ranch hadn't exactly given him a lot of free time. By the time he was 18 and heading out on the rodeo circuit, any thoughts of books had been left in the dust.

The children's area was made to look like a magical forest and in the center of the room there was a big "tree house" where the kids could sit and read for a while. There were a few kids there, most of them unattended because the children's section had librarians who doubled as day care takers. He'd stayed there with his granddaughter for a little while, following along as she weaved in and out of rows, until she finally found what she was looking for. She sat on a little stool and scanned the shelves enthusiastically.

It was about that time that Jack'd started having crazy thoughts. He figured it was being around all these books. It seemed like books had just dominated the past week of his life. He was leaning against a shelf, looking over some of the titles himself, mostly just to pass the time, when his eyes caught a picture book that was about the Rocky Mountains. His eyes got wide.

"Why is it I can't seem to leave that story behind? Follows me where ever I go, seems."

He stood looking at the spine of the picture book for a while and then, just as natural as breathing, his mind slid over to the man he'd never met, but had apparently had had a twenty year love affair with. He started to think about his description in the book: scruffy, long legged, muscular, cave-chested.

"Don't seem like the type a guy I'd go for. Not like I've got much experience in that department."

The book had depicted him as being rough, and stoic, quiet, and masculine. For Jack, it conjured an image of Clint Eastwood from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly". Now, Clint, well Jack could maybe see himself going for that type, but honestly, who wouldn't?

He stopped himself at that thought, had to draw the line somewhere. He didn't like the fact he was having thoughts like that, didn't want to think that maybe they rang some sort of truth, that maybe they were coming from some part of him that had long been suppressed.

He looked around to see if anyone was looking, as though someone would be able to tell what he was thinking just by seeing him. An image of one of the librarians coming out of the woodwork to condemn him for thinking sinful thoughts, thoughts that only queers had, came to mind.

"Well hell, burn me at the stake, then. Cause I fer sure can't get them to stop!"

They were spinning like a tilt-a-whirl in his head, making him feel slightly dizzy, as though he actually were spinning around in circles. They had a broad range, didn't seem to stick to one idea or topic for very long. He moved from thinking on how the book described Ennis, to the things the book had described them doing together. It wasn't much, there wasn't a lot of graphic detail, but Jack had an imagination, and he could conjure some pretty interesting scenarios, which were plenty detailed. He could feel his dick start to harden, which just made him want to cut it off.

"Damn you! What're you doin'? Yer not supposed to be getting' a thrill outta this? Stop it!"

He hoped it wasn't too obvious that his pants were fitting tightly, not that anyone was looking his way. He glanced down at Eliza, saw that she was engrossed in what she was reading and realized that he had to get out of there. He was suffocating. He had to get alone. Had to. He took a step closer to his granddaughter.

"Hey, Liza, will you be okay for a bit if I go n' check out another part a' the library?"

She looked up from her reading momentarily, murmured a 'yes' and went back to her reading. For a brief moment she'd reminded him of Lureen.

"Fuck that! Can't think on Lureen right now."

He high-tailed it out of the children's section, and paused when he got to the main lobby area, not sure what to do with himself.

"Know what I wanna do, though, God damn me."

He'd begun to sweat lightly on his forehead where his hat came down and slightly under his armpits. The room was stifling. Did anyone else realize how hot it was? He had to get out of there.

His eyes darted around for his options and then came to rest on the MEN'S ROOM sign. He made it to the bathroom in about three big strides and went into the first open stall. He was so fuckin' hot; he couldn't stand it anymore. He unzipped his pants and felt immediate relief as his dick was given some room. He didn't think he'd ever been this hard; it almost hurt. Jack'd been wanting to do this for the past four days, but he'd kept himself busy, never letting his mind stay on the story for too long, never letting his desire go this far. Now it was past the point of no return and even God Almighty himself couldn't' have stopped him.

He reached down and began to slowly stroke his cock, shivering at the feel of his hand and the cool air. He closed his eyes, and his mind immediately wandered to the first night in the tent. The scene came alive. He'd read it at least ten times since then, and every word was engraved in his mind. He sped up his pace, imagining the feel of Ennis' hands rough on his hips, the feel as he spit for lubrication and entered him, the panting, both bodies moving in fast, jerky movements, both letting out short breathy grunts and moans. Jack's knees went weak and he had to lean his shoulder against the side of the stall to keep his balance. He was so close, so close. He imagined Ennis, or at least as much of an Ennis that he could conjure, one hand grabbing at the shirt on his back, the other under him, open palm on his stomach. It was too much, and Jack let go with a surprised groan. His vision went dark as the blood rushed back into his head, and little flashes of light spotted the wall in front of him. And then he was alone, panting in the library bathroom, with his dick in his hand.

Jack, flushed the toilet, zipped his pants back up, and walked out of the stall. Luckily, it seemed that no one else had been in the bathroom. He walked over to the row of sinks and washed his hands. He splashed cold water over his face and looked at himself. He could barely look the man in the mirror in the eyes. What was going on? What was happening to him? It was all happening too fast, too fast for him to keep up.

"So does this mean that I'm queer? Is that what this is all about?"

Jack finally locked eyes with the figure in the mirror. He stared deep into the blue, until the pupils and flecks of black were just mixed shapes, abstract doodles that made no sense. Abruptly, he'd turned and left the restroom. If that was what it all meant, than Jack Twist was not ready to admit it.

That had all happened about twenty minutes before. Now, Jack was sitting at a table in the reference area with a phone book for Wyoming on the small table in front of him. He flipped through the pages, not knowing if he'd find anything or what it would mean if he did. He was looking through the white pages, making his way through the C's.

"Crawford, Mark; Crawford, Matt and Trudy; Crawford, Melvin and Grace …"

He was too scared to go straight to the D's.

It had taken him a while to find the phone book that he was looking for. He wasn't even sure if they'd have it, but it turned out that most libraries carried current phone books for most other states. Go figure. So after scanning through the library's collection, he'd found it. It was luck really, who'd have thought that they would have had the phone book for Central Wyoming? Pure luck.

He sat down with the large book in hand, and began to flip through the pages, all the while silently cursing himself for what he was doing and what he was letting the story do to him.

He came to the D's. Jack felt nausea building in his throat, felt the tickles of anxiety in his stomach. He took in a deep breath trying to calm himself. No such luck.

He couldn't take it any longer. He shook off his fear, steeled himself, and flipped through the D's until he came to the letters he needed.

"De La Cruz; De La Torre; Del; Del Mar,…Ennis."

Jack stopped breathing. He could do nothing but stare down at the name on the page in front of him, the name that he had never heard until four days ago. The name that wouldn't stop running through his head, the name that made him lie in his bed at night and imagine things he'd never thought possible. Not possible for him anyway.

"Holymotherfuckinshitonabrickandthepopetoo! He exists. He really exists. I can't believe it. I just can't fuckin' believe it."

Yet somehow Jack Twist was not really surprised. He certainly was real enough, still flesh and blood the last time he'd checked, so it made sense that who ever or where ever Ennis Del Mar was, he was probably flesh and blood too. But figuring and knowing were two completely different things. Just figuring, Jack could have lived with. Could have kept on just the way things were, ignoring the story and going on with his sorry excuse for a life. Course when had Jack been known to just let things be? Now, knowing, well, that changed things, didn't it? He couldn't pretend that this was just some sort of coincidence anymore, couldn't go on like it was just some little thing. Knowing that somewhere in Riverton, right that very moment, Ennis Del Mar was walkin' around, talkin', workin', shootin' the shit; that made Jack a little weak in the knees. Made his head start to spin a little faster than it already was. Made the fact that he had just wrung it out in the men's room of the library over a real person a little more terrifying. And yet somehow all the more exciting.

Jack re-read the number and address of the strange man over and over, till he could have quoted it like a bible passage, read it off like a poem. For some reason, he didn't have the balls to write it down, felt guilty, felt like that would make it even more real than it already was. He had an image of Lureen finding a slip of paper in his pants pocket with Ennis Del Mar's number and address on it. That would be awkward to explain. He wasn't sure why it would be though, not like it would mean anything to Lureen, not like she should have any reason to be suspicious over a slip of paper with a man's name on it. A man's name.

"Goddamn, boy. What have you gotten yerself mixed up with?"

Jack closed the phone book and carried it back over to its shelf. Made sure it was in perfect line with the other books and that it was in its proper place. Felt like he had to clean up his trail, back step to make sure he hadn't missed anything. He walked back over to the table where he'd laid his hat and placed it back on his head.

"Better be getting' back to ma little girl. Don't want her wonderin' where I run off to."

Jack left the reference room with the phone number still running through his head like a familiar catchy tune. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with it, wasn't sure what it meant, but he did know that he wasn't going to worry about any of that at the moment.