"I didn't think ya were goin' ta come. Thought maybe ya didn't want to."
Jack shook his head. "Nothing coulda kept me away."
Ennis smiled and silence fell upon them, the moon overhead, not quite full, but bright enough in the darkness, illuminating the two men.
Ennis took a few more steps and bridged the gap between them, put his hands on Jack's shoulders, then wrapped Jack up in a large bear hug. Jack felt his heart stop for a moment, and his whole body went up in shivers. He dropped his duffel and his sleeping bag at his feet and tightened Ennis in his own grip. He grabbed at him fiercely, tugging at his shirt, wanting to pull him into himself completely. He was reeling from the full contact, an oasis after weeks spent in the desert with no hope for water.
Ennis ran his hands up and down his back and then he released him, pulled away slightly, looked Jack in the eye. They were still touching, but there was enough distance between them for Jack to start to feel the cold again. Ennis said nothing, but Jack couldn't help but stare at his lips, he wanted his mouth badly, wanted to feel it touch his own, feel his hot breath, and wet saliva, knew that if he did, he might die right there and go to heaven. Ennis held him close for a moment longer and then pulled away completely, took a few backward steps.
And then they weren't any farther than they had been before, no bridges burned and no trekking backwards, it was as though the embrace hadn't even happened. They stood there awkwardly for a moment, neither knowing what was to come next. Ennis shuffled his feet around, kicked a small stone.
"I'm glad yer here."
Jack licked his lips, still imagining the taste of Ennis. "Yeah."
Ennis raised his head. "Um, ya wanna sit down? I jest started the fire ta make some dinner. I know its late n' all, but I haven't gotten around ta eatin', took me a while ta make some sparks in the fire pit."
Jack nodded and grabbed his bags, still unable to speak from the intensity of their embrace. Ennis returned to the log he'd been sitting on and Jack set his stuff near an adjacent log, then sat down. He stared at Ennis while he pulled out two cans of soup from a little canvas bag at his feet. He struggled opening the cans with the can opener, eventually got them off, and set them on the grate over the fire to heat up. He turned to Jack, noticed his blatant stare.
"What?"
Jack shook his head and looked down, busily wringing his hands between his knees. There was more silence, and then he looked around again, realized that all Ennis seemed to have with him was the little canvas bag that had held the soup cans. He finally was able to muster the courage to speak, but his voice was weak and quiet.
"Ennis…where, where's all yer stuff fer the camp?"
Ennis stopped stoking the fire, put down the twig he'd been using.
"Well, I wasn't so sure I'd be stayin' fer very long. Like I said, I didn't know ya were comin' so I figured I'd only stay one night up here, maybe jest sleep under the stars. Didn't want ta hall up more stuff than I would need."
"Ya brought two soup cans."
Ennis shrugged. "Well, I didn't know how hungry I'd be."
"How hungry are ya?" Jack licked his lips again, felt his dick start to stiffen at the double meaning he had intended to make.
Ennis looked him straight in the eye. "Hell, I'm pretty damn hungry. But I s'pose I could share a little bit with you."
Jack's breathing became slightly labored, and he felt himself harden even more. He had to get control over himself. He still wasn't sure what was going on, he didn't know what Ennis had asked him to come for, and he couldn't let himself get all excited. It was so hard not be, though! He coughed a little to clear his throat.
"So we've got food, but no tent…I can stand that fer a night. Seems pretty nice out anyway, not too cold."
Ennis took a good look at Jack and frowned.
"Yer not wearing yer fancy leather jacket. Yer usually freezin' all the time, aren't ya cold in jest that shirt there?"
Jack looked down, realizing he really didn't have his jacket on. He must have left it in his truck. He knew he'd brought it with him, but must have taken it off, what with the hot weather and not having the air-conditioning on. He felt the chill on his back and also realized that he had been getting cold, had just been too distracted to notice. He hugged at himself, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Damn. Musta forgotten my damn coat in my truck. Shit."
Ennis stood up and sat next to Jack, slid in real nice and close, and put his arm around him. He rubbed his hand up and down Jack's arm vigorously.
"Better? I can give ya my coat if ya want."
Jack thought he might die. He wanted to kiss him bad, wanted to feel his warm skin against his, shirts thrown aside, pants thrown aside, just flesh to flesh. He sucked in a breath and turned his face to Ennis. They were close enough that he could have touched his mouth if he just leaned in the slightest bit…
Ennis removed his arm and pulled off his coat, distancing their mouths. He got his arms out of both sleeves and then handed the coat to Jack.
"Here. I don't
need it. I must have thick skin or somethin'.
Jack shivered a
little, took the coat and slid it around his shoulders.
"Yer just used ta this, s'all. I been away too long. Got used ta that Texas heat n' humidity."
Ennis nodded and then moved back over to his own log. The soup cans were starting to bubble, so Ennis put on one of his gloves, picked one up and then handed it to Jack. Jack pulled the sleeve of Ennis' jacket down to cover his hand, and took the soup, then took the spoon that he was also holding out to him.
He ate quickly, despite the heat of the soup, and hungrily. That was another thing he hadn't realized; he was starving. He hadn't eaten all day, except for the beef jerky that he'd bought at a gas station when he'd been filling up. He'd just been neglecting all of his bodily needs, it seemed. He finished the soup, it had been chunky potato, and then set the can down at his feet, looked over at Ennis who was still eating.
"So why'd ya bring two spoons then, huh?"
Ennis looked up from his food. "What?"
"Ya said ya only brought what was necessary. Ya brought two cans a' soup in case ya were real hungry, but why'd ya need two spoons?"
Ennis sat in silence, seemed to be running the question over thoughtfully.
"Wishful thinking?"
Jack laughed, finally feeling warm and more alive. He felt bad keeping Ennis from his own coat though.
"You sure yer not cold? Cuz I can jest deal with the chill, it's yer coat after all, don't wanna be greedy over here."
Ennis scraped around in his can with his spoon, took one final bite and then also set it down at his feet.
"Nah. I'm fine, honestly. I'd rather me be cold than you, anyway."
His comment went straight to Jack's heart. The idea that his well being meant something to this man…well, that was just too good to be true. He thought back, and realized that Ennis had always been there looking out for him. He'd had his back in the bar the first night they'd met, he'd had a ride for him, a roof for him when he had nowhere to go, he gave him food, he kept him warm. A rush of emotion came over Jack, and he took in a sharp breath. He didn't deserve this kindness from him, not after everything he'd done, the lies he'd told.
"Ennis, I'm so sorry 'bout all that's happened. Ya can't know how sorry I am. I never meant for it ta happen the way it did, I…"
Ennis held up a hand, stopping Jack's words. "Don't talk about it right now. Far's I'm concerned, it's no worry. We can talk 'bout that some other time, right now, I'd rather jest enjoy yer company."
Jack let his unrest settle back down and pulled Ennis' coat closer around him. He yawned, then stretched, shook his head slightly.
"Jesus. I'm beat. I think I may jest hit the hay. I haven't slept much in the past couple a' days."
Ennis nodded. "Yeah okay." He looked around. "I, uh…don't have no blankets here right now, unless I was ta go get some stuff down by my truck."
Jack shrugged. "Well I got a sleeping bag. I'll give ya back yer jacket, and…wait a minute."
He stood and grabbed the sleeping bag, unrolled it a little ways from the fire and unzipped it completely.
"Well, this here works like a pretty good blanket. It would be a little rough sleepin' on the ground, but we could be pretty warm with this over us."
Ennis stood too. "You mean, uh…lyin' together n' all?"
Jack looked around sheepishly. "Yeah, if that's not a problem. I mean jest sleepin'. I don't mean…you know…"
Ennis nodded slowly. "Oh yeah, I know. Um…sure. Okay, we can give it a try."
They cleared a little spot big enough for the both of them next to the fire, Jack pulled out a couple of shirts so they could lay their heads down, and they both set their hats aside, got on the ground, and pulled the sleeping bag up over them. It was warm by the fire, warm next to Ennis' body, he wanted to curl up and wrap his arms around him, feel his heart beat, get all the warmth from him that he could get.
They laid there in silence, completely still for a couple of minutes and then Ennis turned on his side, back to Jack. He got himself comfortable and his breathing started to slow. Jack propped his arms underneath him, and then turned his face so that he was staring straight at the back of Ennis' head. He waited a few minutes and then felt like he couldn't stand it any longer, he had to know what had made Ennis send the card.
"Ennis? Ennis you asleep?"
There was a grunt and then a quiet voice.
"I almost was, until ya started talkin' ta me. I thought you was beat."
"I am, but I gotta know. It's been buggin' me since Friday…why did ya send the postcard? Why did ya invite me up here with ya?"
There was silence and then finally Ennis shifted, turned around and faced towards Jack. They were staring straight into each other's eyes now, completely level with each other.
"I don't know."
Jack raised his eyes brows. "You don't know why?"
Ennis shook his head slightly. He yawned and then laid flat on his back.
"I had ta see ya again. I got ta thinkin' on the book, and…I don't know…"
He turned away from him and curled himself up.
"Go ta sleep Jack. Yer tired, ya need yer rest. We can talk more tomorrow."
Jack continued staring at Ennis' back, then finally closed his eyes and drifted off.
Jack awoke the next morning to the sound of birds chirping and to the feel of Ennis' arm around him. It took a minute to realize what the weight on him was and where the warmth was coming from.
He'd been having a wonderful dream, he couldn't remember what it had been about, but he knew the way it had made him feel, and then he'd started to return to reality because he'd felt something pressed against the length of his body. He opened his eyes, and moved ever so slightly, still half asleep, when he realized that it was Ennis. Sometime during the night he had rolled over and curled up to Jack, thrown his arm over him.
Jack's heartbeat began to quicken at the feel of the warm body touching his. It was wonderful, and he wished that he could have laid there forever, either that or turned and wrapped his own arms around Ennis, but he had a feeling that this was a purely subconscious act, that if Ennis were actually awake, he wouldn't have been doing it. On that note, Jack was surprised he wasn't awake yet, had never known him to sleep longer than himself, but the steady breathing and motionless body next to him clued him in that Ennis was definitely still sleeping.
Jack wanted to just lay there an enjoy the quiet moment, but he was suddenly hit with the desperate urge to take a piss. He cursed his bladder, wished he could just ignore it for a while, but also didn't want Ennis to wake up and find them in that position. Jack sighed, made a mental note of how Ennis felt pressed against him, and began to carefully slide under Ennis' arm. It was a daunting task, trying not to awake the sleeping bear and he had to stop when Ennis mumbled something and started to stir. But then he was still again, and Jack knew that he was back asleep.
Jack stopped his attempts to escape momentarily, and turned to face Ennis. In sleep his face was gentle, all walls brought down, though he still had a slight frown line showing between his eyes brows. Jack was suddenly brought back to that one night when he'd been wide awake on Ennis' couch and had wished more than anything else to be able to see what Ennis looked like when he was asleep. And now here he was, lying next to him, bodies touching, his arm draped over him. Their faces were close, and Jack once again had the strong desire to reach out and touch his lips, but decided it wouldn't be right to do so when he was asleep, and so continued to attempt to slip out from under Ennis arm.
When he decided that Ennis wasn't waking up, and it wasn't working to try and slide underneath him, he gently lifted his arm and set it next to him, so he could roll over and stand up. Jack was stiff from the hard ground, and a little sweaty. The air was dewy and warm, and Jack's shirt and pants were slightly stained with the dirt that he'd slept on top of.
He rose carefully to his feet and walked into the woods a little distance so he could relieve himself. When he was done he zipped up and returned back to the makeshift campsite to find Ennis finally stirring and starting to sit up on his elbows. Jack smiled at the sleepy expression still thick on his face.
"Well good mornin' there cowboy."
Ennis looked in Jack's direction, seemed a little confused, then looked away, obviously trying to figure out his surroundings.
"What time is it?"
Jack shrugged, then walked to where he'd put his bag and picked up the watch he'd taken off and placed on top of the duffel.
"9:00. Jesus. I guess I really was beat, and looks like you were too."
Ennis stretched a little. "Don't think I've ever slept so well in my life."
"Even on the ground with nothing beneath ya 'cept a shirt under yer head?"
"Apparently so. I never woke up once. I usually wake up 'bout four or five times a night, never sleep so deep. Damn."
He stretched and yawned some more and then stood, walked over in the direction Jack had just been and also took a piss. Jack sat on the log, back to Ennis, shuffling his feet around in the dirt. He decided to make himself useful and got down on his knees to get the fire started. Ennis came back and helped.
"Thanks." Ennis warmed his hands in front of the now crackling and sputtering fire.
"No problem. Figured I should make myself useful or somethin'."
Ennis laughed. "I'm sure we can find some use fer ya."
Jack sucked in a breath and tried to smile, to just brush the comment off. He forced a chuckle, wasn't sure if Ennis had meant it like that, but it sure had sounded suggestive.
They were silent for a moment and then Ennis brought his fist down on his knee.
"Damn. I didn't bring any more food than the soup we had last night up with me. I guess we'll have ta head down ta the trucks and get the stuff. Probably bought time we set up camp anyway. Don't know if you'll wanna sleep on the ground again."
"I didn't mind."
"Well I didn't either. But a tent might suit us better if we're gonna be here fer a while."
"True enough."
Jack stood and began to fold his sleeping bag, while Ennis debated whether to douse the fire and restart it later, or to leave it.
"Should prob'bly douse it, don't ya think? We'll be gone over half an hour, what with it takin' fifteen minutes ta get down there and then fifteen minutes ta get back."
Ennis nodded, agreed, though grumbled about having to restart it, and then doused the flames with a bucket of water he'd filled the night before.
"Well let's get a move on. Got enough work ahead of us ta keep us busy fer a while." Ennis set the bucket down next to the smoldering remains of the fire and looked up at Jack. Jack just nodded and stuck his hands in his pockets.
"And what happens when we're done with all the work?"
He decided to worry about that when the time came and followed Ennis down the trail towards their trucks.
It didn't take long for them to get to Ennis' truck and collect the rest of the camping gear. Ennis carried the tent, his bag and sleeping bag, and dragged a cooler that had wheels behind him. Jack remembered to get his jacket out of his truck, and also carried the mess kits, the food, and a fishing pole and bate case.
"You brought fishing gear."
Ennis grunted and walked ahead of Jack equipment piled high. He looked a little like a walking sports store.
"Yeah, just figured we'd get bored with canned food n' all."
Jack shrugged and followed behind Ennis, the rest of the gear in tow. It was much harder than it had been before, making the climb with all the weight on his back and under his arms, even Ennis looked a little out of breath. He made a passing comment about how it would have all been easier if they'd had horses, but since Ennis sold his own two horses to live in town near Junior, it was all a lost cause.
"You ever rode a horse around through the mountains?" He asked Jack between deep breaths.
"Nope. I never came up ta the mountains that much. When I used ta come up with some a the rodeo folk, we'd just drive up and sit around."
Ennis shook his head. "Nothin' like it. I wish I coulda brought a couple a' horses up with me, but I long ago got rid a' my trailer, and I didn't wanna ask Stoutamire ta borrow anythin'. It's enough of a favor ta jest give me the time off."
They finally made it back to the site and immediately dropped their gear on the ground. Jack set to making some breakfast, and Ennis started to unfold the tent. Jack tried to keep from laughing as Ennis struggled to untanle the tent and get the stakes in the ground. He mumbled and cursed to himself while he was trying to get one of the plastic beams that supported one side to bend and connect into place, and then he bent it just a little too far and the beam snapped. Jack couldn't hold it back any longer and began to laugh his ass off. Ennis stood and glared at Jack.
"And what in the hell is so goddamned funny over there, huh? You wanna take a try at this?"
Jack dumped the rest of the potato that he'd been slicing into the skillet and stood, made his way over to Ennis and the tent, laughter still heavy in the air.
He leaned over and took a look at the broken beam.
"Well, damn, Ennis. Ya broke it. You ever put this up before?"
Ennis grumbled and kicked at the ground with his boot.
"Nah. I haven't gotten around ta using it. Junior bought it fer me fer Christmas 'bout three years ago. I jest haven't gotten a chance ta get away and try it out."
"What a comfort. Thought ya knew what ya were doin'."
Ennis hit Jack hard on the arm and which just made him laugh louder.
"All right, all right. Seriously, though, you got an extra one a these or somethin'?"
Ennis looked around at the pile of beams at his feet.
"I sure hope so."
"Well jest hand me another one and we'll see if we're missin' one by the time we finish."
Ennis picked up a beam and handed it to Jack. Jack pulled the broken pieces of the last one out from the loops on the polyester material. He leaned down to fit the other piece in and saw that the basic frame was made of steel, but there were also the plastic parts that fit in. It was much like a puzzle, and Jack wondered why they didn't make clearer instructions for putting these tents together.
He bent the beam slightly and latched it to its connector at the top. Easy.
"How'd ya do that?"
Jack stood and shrugged. "I dunno. Wasn't that difficult. You were jest bending it too much."
"My ass."
"Well ya obviously were bendin' it too much, cuz now it's in three pieces."
Ennis frowned and gestured at the tent. "Ya have to, ta get it in there."
"I didn't have to."
"Shut up. Go finish breakfast or something, smart ass."
Jack laughed some more at Ennis' frustration and walked back over to the sizzling skillet. He finished breakfast in a couple of minutes, and by then it seemed like Ennis had gotten the tent under control.
"Give it a rest fer a minute and come have some a' my fine cuisine." Jack yelled over his shoulder in Ennis' direction. He heard another loud snap and then a "Goddamnit!"
"Guess he don't have it as under control as I thought."
Ennis stumbled over towards the fire and the logs and sat down, cradling his hand.
"Stupid damn tent. That thing's a menace. Nearly took off one a' my fingers."
Jack chuckled, but bit his lip when Ennis gave him a look.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Jest wanna get that fuckin' tent built soon as possible, get it all over n' done with."
"Fine with me."
Jack served Ennis two eggs mixed with the potatoes he'd cooked on a plate and handed it to him. He'd also made coffee and Ennis gratefully accepted a full cup. They ate in silence, both greedily gobbling the food, which wasn't bad as far as Jack's cooking went. Ennis set down his plate when he was done and took a long sip from his mug.
"Ya know, you make a pretty decent cup a' coffee."
Jack just shrugged. "I guess. It's not that great, but I been livin' with it fer 48 years or so now."
Ennis took another sip and nodded his approval.
"Not bad."
"I'm glad ya think so."
They smiled at each other and then finished their coffee. Ennis took their plates and cups over to the stream to wash them out.
"Maybe you could take a look at that tent, see if ya have more luck than I did." He said, crouched down by the water.
Jack figured that was a fair idea and walked over to where the tent was sitting, half constructed. Fifteen minutes later he had it completely built, no beams missing surprisingly, (apparently there had been exactly two extra ones) and staked to the ground.
Ennis whistled. "Damn. You are jest full a' surprises, Twist."
Jack stepped back to admire his handy work. "Ain't that the truth."
They stood there for a minute looking at the tent, Jack finding the thought of them sleeping side by side in it slightly promising and slightly awkward. Awkward because he still wasn't sure what Ennis felt about the whole deal. Jack looked over at Ennis to find him gone; he was rooting around the pile of gear, looking for his duffel and his sleeping bag. He found it, carried it over to the tent and dropped it inside.
"You might wanna do the same, jest in case it rains a little later."
Jack nodded and grabbed his own things, placed them inside the tent. The area inside was large enough for two people to sleep comfortably, and Jack couldn't help but feel extremely excited, despite the fact that he still was unsure about Ennis' feelings. He found himself wishing more than anything else for night to fall again, but he knew that they had things to cover before (if) anything else could happen.
Ennis set the cooler near the tent, and then pulled out a couple of cases of beers that were not chilled and put them in a bag, along with the rest of the eggs, and tied one end of a rope to a tree, the other to the bag and let them soak in the cold mountain stream. Then both men chopped some firewood, put one pile under a plastic cover next to the tent, and put the rest in a rain proof bag, hung it in a nearby tree. It looked like they were all set.
They stood looking around at the campsite, hats tilted back on their heads, jackets long before abandoned, sleeves rolled up, admiring their hard work. Jack wiped some sweat off his forehead with the back of one dirty hand.
"So what now?"
Ennis bit at his bottom lip, then brought one hand up to shade his eyes, squinted, and looked off into the distance. He was silent for a moment.
"How 'bout we go fer a hike or somethin'?"
Jack scratched the back of his head and looked down, nodding while he tossed the idea around. He was already beat, but he figured that Ennis might want to have some quiet time, and walking would probably be the best thing to clear his mind.
"All right. Sure. Let's go then."
They cooled off a little at the stream, refreshed their faces from the sweat, then grabbed a couple water bottles and placed them in their jean pockets. They didn't have many conveniences, were certainly roughing it, but Jack wouldn't have had it any other way.
After walking for about an hour through the woods, on the trail that continued beyond their campsite, the two men came to a slight clearing. There were some fallen trees that made for good seats and where the forest parted, they could see a steep drop off and beyond it thousands of pines and a clear view of distant Teton peaks. The sky was clear, not a cloud in sight, and the air was warm, but not too hot in the shade from the trees.
Jack sat down on one of the stumps. He was relieved to be able to stretch his legs out and let them rest. He took his hat off, set it down next to him and wiped more sweat from his forehead.
"Jesus, Ennis. I must be outta shape. I guess that's what I get sittin' round the office or lazyin' around the house. I need ta start exercisin' or somethin'."
Ennis sat down on a log near by and looked out towards the view of the distant mountains. Jack followed his gaze.
"I'll tell ya, though. I certainly do miss this. It's great up here. I get so tired of fuckin' Childress, I could jest pack up and leave and never go back. It's dead out there. Everythin' is."
Jack thought about his life with Lureen and his job and the people he knew. All completely tied up with making money, and competing, and being unhappy, not a one of them interested in really living. All dead. All except his granddaughter Eliza. She was definitely an exception to the rule.
Jack was stirred from his thoughts when he noticed Ennis' heavy stare had shifted over to him. Jack matched his gaze. They were silent for a minute.
"Jack."
"Yeah?"
Ennis looked away again, down at his feet.
"I wanna apologize fer the things I said ta ya last time."
Jack sucked in a deep breath. So Ennis had wanted to take a hike to get things off his chest.
"Ennis ya don't need ta—"
"Please let me say this. I'm not too good with words, and if ya try n' stop me, I probably will. I need ta say this."
Jack shut his mouth, clasped his hands together between his knees, looked down.
"I was real angry with you fer a while. And when ya came upon me, well, I didn't know what ta think. I was confused more n' anythin' else. Anyway, I shouldn't have said what I did to ya 'bout wishin' I'd never met ya and never taken ya up here."
Ennis stood and walked over to where Jack sat, stopped about two feet in front of him. Jack tore his gaze from his hands and slowly looked up at Ennis, there a similar expression on his face as he'd had the first night they'd been up there, eyes like fire.
"I shouldn't have said it cause I didn't mean it. Bringin' you here's one a the best things I ever done."
Jack's heart expanded and he stopped thinking. He let all his inhibitions fly off to wherever they pleased and followed his instincts for once.
In one swift motion he was on his feet, had taken Ennis' face in both his hands and brought their lips together, knocking Ennis' hat to the ground. He didn't pull back like Jack might've thought, instead, he leaned forward slightly, moaning a little as he let his mouth open, inviting Jack's tongue to enter. Ennis brought his own hands up and grabbed gently first at Jack's neck, and then also rested on either side of Jack's face. Jack felt Ennis open his mouth a little more and then felt his tongue touch his, felt it lick a little at his lips, and then start to explore his mouth. Jack ran his right hand from Ennis' cheek down his chest and then eventually around his waist, clutching at the back of his shirt, pulling him closer to him, trying to keep his knees from giving out from under him. Never had he felt anything like this, never. This was indescribable, a sensation completely new to him, stubble rubbing against his face, hot breath, all man, exhaling into his mouth. He thought he might have rocketed into the sky, if he hadn't been holding so tightly to Ennis.
All around was silence; it was as though the forest creatures were giving them this moment, if only this one moment, to just be completely together, to only hear the sounds of each other's breathing. The kiss lingered, and then deepened, becoming more frenzied, more passionate. Jack's dick was rock hard, and he could feel Ennis's pressed up against his leg. Ennis' hands snaked down Jack's back and pulled fiercely on his shirt, releasing it from his jeans. Jack wanted to kiss up and down Ennis neck, but he didn't want to separate their mouths, so great it was to feel his lips and tongue. He pulled out Ennis' shirt with his hands, and then started working open his buttons, starting with the one at his neck and making his way down, never pulling his mouth away.
Suddenly Ennis broke the kiss and stepped away, held the back of his hand to his mouth, eyes wide, chest heaving. Jack's heart was pounding a mile a minute, and he felt lost without Ennis pressed against him, tongue in his mouth.
"Ennis." He took in a deep breath, tried to get his voice back to normal, to ease the lust that was deeply woven into it.
"Ennis, what's wrong?"
Ennis took another step back and turned his face away, clenching his jaw.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Jack got closer, trying to shorten the distance growing between them.
"Sorry for what? Ennis, what are you sorry 'bout?"
He couldn't stand it any longer, and placed his hand on Ennis' neck bringing their faces back together, never tearing his eyes off his mouth. He wanted to feel it again, needed to. Ennis wasn't having it though, and pulled away, shoving Jack's hand aside.
"I'm sorry, Jack. I can't do this. I can't do this."
Ennis' voice trailed off, and he bent down, picked up his hat, and then backed away, eventually turning and walking quickly off the way they'd came. Jack stood where he was, still incredibly aroused, trying to catch up with what had just happened. He felt terrible. Horrible. Nothing could compare to it.
"The highs and lows of Jack Twist. One minute sailing with the birds, the next face down in the mud chokin' on worms."
He ambled back over to a random log and collapsed into a sitting position. He felt like he'd just been kicked in the face by a horse.
"Shit."
He sighed, looked down at his hands, and then up and outwards towards the snow covered peaks.
It was close to dark by the time Jack started heading back to the campsite. The entire afternoon, he'd wandered around the trail, deep in his own thoughts, not sure what to do, and not sure if he could return. The kiss had been like some sort of dream coming true, it had been to good to be real, and not surprisingly, Ennis hadn't been able to do it, he'd run away in fear, which Jack supposed meant he didn't want to have that sort of relationship after all.
"But would it have lasted that long if he hadn't?"
The kiss had lasted a while and had been a far cry from chaste, so…that meant Ennis was interested, right? Jack sighed. He was more confused than ever, and walking around in the woods wasn't doing a thing for him, except aiding in his anxiety.
So once darkness began to fall he knew that he had to go back, face his "fears" whether he wanted to or not. It took him a little while to get back to where the tent was set up—he'd wandered farther away then he'd thought—but after a little while he could once again see the outline of the tent and the roaring fire through the trees. He got closer to the camp and saw that Ennis was nowhere in sight.
"He couldn't have left. All his stuff's still here, and there's a fire going, even Ennis wouldn't have left that burning."
He took a few more steps until he was no longer standing amongst the trees and sure enough there was no sign of Ennis. He walked towards the fire and looked around. He heard some rustling to his left and suddenly realized that Ennis was already in the tent.
Jack sat down on one of the logs and stared into the fire.
"Jesus. He's in the tent. What do I do now? Go inside? Sleep out here?"
Jack turned and gave the tent a long, hard look. He wanted to go inside, didn't want to sleep out by himself, but wasn't sure if he was welcome or not. Jack sat where he was for a few more minutes, staring into the fire, mind working busily. In the stillness he could hear the noises of the nighttime animals, howls and chattering, and clacking and buzzing from the cicadas. The stars were getting brighter as the darkness got darker, and Jack was struck by the beauty of the mountain all around. The air was also getting cool, and Jack was felt the cold stronger the longer he sat there in stillness. He looked around for his jacket and remembered that he'd put it in the tent.
He sighed. So now he had to go in the tent, at least to get his jacket. The need for warmth finally shook him from his motionless reverie, and he stood slowly, making his way towards the tent, hesitant, afraid. At the last moment, Jack took off his hat, some remembered teaching from his mother, and bent down at the entrance. It was unzipped, not closed against him, and the light from the fire allowed him to see a slight outline of Ennis, flat on his back, one arm under his head, staring straight at the ceiling of the tent. Jack stuck his head in slightly and looked up, seeing that there was a mesh skylight so the stars could shine through. He looked back down at Ennis and cleared his throat slightly, letting his presence be known.
Ennis looked his way, not a sign of surprise on his face, and slowly sat up on his elbows.
"Left yer jacket in here."
"Left my jacket in here."
They'd said the words at the same time and both laughed at their fumble. Jack eased farther into the tent, until he was completely inside, fear and hesitation left behind with the sight of Ennis laying in front of him. His desire for the man returned immediately, but there wasn't the usual urgency that came with it, an odd sense of calm was settling in his stomach.
Ennis reached behind him and to the side to grab Jack's coat. He extended his arm towards Jack, coat in hand.
"Here."
Jack grabbed the jacket, but didn't let go of Ennis hand. He moved in a little closer. Ennis tensed slightly.
"Jack…"
Jack set down the coat and closed the distance between them, until they were once again close enough to kiss.
"It's all right, Ennis. It's all right." The words were a low whisper, too quiet for any other being to hear, only meant for Ennis. They were still for a moment like that; Ennis propped up on his elbows looking up at Jack, Jack on his knees bent down towards Ennis.
Then suddenly, Ennis grabbed Jack by the back of the neck and brought his face down to his, meeting his mouth in a slow closed kiss, just lips, pressed together, a silent acceptance. Jack touched Ennis' cheek and then deepened the kiss, lowering himself down onto Ennis as he slowly laid flat. Jack repositioned himself, so he was no longer on his knees, but on his side still partially on top, never letting their mouths separate.
He returned his hand to the buttons at Ennis' neck and began to slowly undo them. Ennis broke the kiss again, and Jack was worried for a minute, but it was only to look Jack in the eye. Jack did the same, stopped his unbuttoning, and met Ennis' gaze.
Their eyes locked and Jack thought maybe his heart stopped beating. Ennis' eyes were deep, dark, not on fire like they had been before though, they were open and full of something the Jack had never seen there. He brushed his thumb across Ennis' cheek, causing him to smile. Ennis' smiles, though not an often occurrence, where infectious, and spread to anyone else close enough to witness them. Jack felt his face crack into a huge beam, felt like he was grinning like a fool, big enough for his cheeks to reach his eyes. It felt good, smiling like this, looking down at this man, felt better than anything else, and Jack decided right there that he never wanted to be anywhere but with him, seeing his smile.
Ennis reached forward and kissed the side of Jack's face, made a sloppy trail to Jack's neck and began to suck at the skin below his ear. Jack's grin immediately vanished, and he was once again filled with desire, desire so strong for the man underneath him that he thought he might go up in flames. His whole body was on fire, it seemed, and he wanted more than anything else to rip of his clothes and feel his body pressed to Ennis', skin to skin. But he wanted to go slow, so he pushed away that thought, and continued to unbutton Ennis' shirt. When he got it open, he ran his hand down his chest, leaned over to kiss him right at the collarbone, then down a little farther, then down a little farther. Ennis leaned his head back all the way; let it hit the ground, let out a little moan. The moan sent shivers down Jack's spine and he smiled, knowing that he was doing something right.
He continued to kiss down Ennis' stomach, until he got to the buckle of his belt and his jeans. He stopped put one hand on Ennis' stomach and then looked up at his face. Ennis lifted his head and looked down at him.
"Why you stoppin'?"
Jack was breathing hard and found it a struggle to get words out.
"You sure ya wanna do this?"
Ennis laughed and let his head fall back on the ground.
"I think I been sure since I first met you, jest didn't know it then."
That was all Jack needed, and he started to unbuckle Ennis' belt, undid the jeans and got the zipper down. He kissed Ennis' stomach again, and then let his hand slide into his jeans, felt his hand graze over hair and then found what he was looking for, hard and warm. He wrapped his hand around it and Ennis let out a cry, lifted his hips off the ground at his touch. Jack smiled again and pushed down his jeans a little so he could pull out his dick. Ennis helped him, wiggling around so he could get them off and Jack pulled them down below his knees.
Ennis' erect cock stood, uncircumcised just like in Jack's dream, but a little bit bigger than what he'd imagined. He stared at it, mesmerized, the first time he'd been this close to another man's penis. He moved his hand up and down slowly, and Ennis sucked in a few deep breaths, bucked slightly with the motion. Jack looked at Ennis' face, and saw that his eyes were closed tight, his mouth open, his chest heaving. It was wonderful, having this man, this strong, hard as nails man, lying underneath him, helpless by his touch.
He turned his attention back to his dick and leaned in, unsure how to go about what he intended to do, but knowing that he wanted to, knowing he wanted to give Ennis pleasure, to make him moan, to make him completely powerless. He got his mouth close to the head and stopped. He'd never thought this would have been something he'd want to do, would have never in a million years pictured himself with a dick in his mouth. Jack shoved that thought away and slowly brought his lips down to the head of Ennis' penis, kissed it light as a feather.
"Fuck, Jack! Fuck!"
Jack felt his stomach flip and his dick go rock hard at the sound of Ennis' voice saying his name in that desperate almost pained voice. Jack resisted the urge to reach down and touch his own penis, and kissed the head of Ennis' dick again. He let his lips linger there for a second and then he opened his mouth and sucked Ennis' dick in, wrapping his lips around its shaft, sliding his mouth down as far as it would go.
Ennis raised off the ground, pushing farther into Jack's mouth, and Jack almost choked, not actually ready to take it all the way in, not experienced. He pulled back a little, gagging slightly, and had to take his mouth completely away from Ennis, to wipe some of the saliva away.
"Sorry." Ennis' voice was strained and his eyes were still closed.
Jack laughed a little. "It's okay. I'm just not used ta this."
Ennis opened his eyes and lifted his head. "You don't have to…"
Jack shook his head. "I want to."
He pressed on Ennis' stomach, willing him to lie back down, which he did.
He brought his mouth back to Ennis' dick and slowly put his lips around it. He moved his head up and down slowly feeling Ennis start to move underneath him again. Jack suddenly remembered something from his dream, and brought his hand up and started to massage Ennis' balls.
"Jesus. Christ. Jack." Ennis took short frantic breaths between each word.
Jack felt Ennis' balls start to draw up, and then Ennis let out a cry and released. Jack wasn't sure what to do, and so he pulled his mouth away after Ennis already let go a little, and then got the rest of it all over his face.
Jack laughed, and wiped the warm sticky cum away from his mouth and chin, laughed because it was all so ridiculous, but somehow he didn't even care. He wiped it on one of the shirts that had been lying out, one they'd slept on the night before.
Ennis, who had been recovering suddenly sat up and grabbed Jack's face in both of his hands, kissed him roughly, stopping Jack's laughs and re-igniting the fury of his lust. He broke the kiss and looked Jack deep in the eyes. He started unbuttoning Jack's shirt, and Jack immediately started to undo his own belt buckle, the urgency to have Ennis' hands on him suddenly fierce. Ennis got his shirt off, and then kicked off his own pants, pushed them over into the corner. Jack tossed his shirt into the opposite corner, and then kicked his pants away. They sat there, legs touching, completely naked, just looking at each other.
Ennis kissed Jack, held him close, ran his tongue around inside his mouth, exploring and tasting. Jack thought he couldn't stand it anymore, needed to have Ennis touch him. As if on cue, Ennis pulled back from the kiss and looked down at Jack's erect cock. He looked back up to Jack.
"I don't know if I can do what ya did fer me. I don't know, but I wanna make ya feel good, like ya made me feel."
Ennis words made Jack's chest tighten and he sucked in a breath.
"I don't care. I jest wanna feel yer hand on me."
Ennis brought their lips back together in a furious, wet kiss, and he brought his hand down and wrapped his fingers around Jack. Jack cried out, breaking the kiss, but Ennis held on to his neck with his other hand, and wouldn't let their mouth separate. Ennis worked his fingers up and down Jack's stiff cock, slowly, then faster, and Jack was about to come, was so close, could feel the release building up, when Ennis stopped and pulled back.
Jack opened his eyes, and saw that Ennis was getting on his knees, his dick already hard again, his eyes dark with lust.
"I wanna try it like the book said. I wanna feel what it's like."
Jack's heart was beating faster than it ever had before, he thought he might go over the edge and come right at Ennis words. He took in a deep breath and nodded, turning over, getting onto his hands and knees, ready for whatever came next.
He felt Ennis lightly touch his hip, run his hand down around the curve of his ass. He closed his eyes, and felt sweat trickle down from his forehead. He didn't know how much more he could take. And then he felt Ennis brush the head of his dick up towards his crack, felt it press in for a moment and then pull away. Jack heard Ennis spit into his hand, just like in the book, and then he felt his dick position back where it had been and press in.
Jack cried out slightly and Ennis moaned.
"You all right?" Ennis asked in a light, strained voice.
All Jack could do was nod. He was all right, wanted to be all right, but it felt like he was being impaled by a large stake. It was painful, and Jack's took deep breaths, to keep the pain from consuming him, to keep him from telling Ennis to stop, because he didn't really want him to. And then he felt Ennis press up against something inside him, and Jack's eyes snapped open. It felt like lightening had hit, and his dick was once again throbbing with arousal.
"Holy, shit, Ennis, don't stop."
He had to grab at the material of the tent, to keep from collapsing on the ground. The pain was forgotten momentarily in the blinding pleasure. With each stroke, Ennis' dick pressed up against that one spot, and Jack felt wave after wave of unimaginable pleasure. He closed his eyes again and rocked, never feeling so alive, never feeling so aroused.
Ennis was moaning louder, and he grabbed Jack fiercely by the hips, pulled him backwards with each of his thrusts. Jack thought he would die. Ennis leaned forward, pressed his chest against Jack's back, their sweat co-mingling. He stopped his thrusts for a minute, had to rest to keep from coming too fast, had to support himself with one of his hands. Jack was panting, vision blurred, sweat pouring down his face now.
"Ennis, don't stop. You're almost there, don't stop."
Ennis picked up his pace again, faster this time, and Jack was muttering something, something he wasn't even sure of, just an incoherent babble that seemed to only way to keep him from going insane form the pleasure. Ennis grabbed Jack's dick in his hand and started to pump with his thrusts. Jack couldn't hold back any longer; he felt his balls draw up, felt his stomach muscles tighten.
"Shit, Ennis, here goes!"
He let out another choked moan, felt his whole body jerk and spasm from the intensity of the orgasm, and then came all over Ennis' hand. Ennis thrust in one more time and then Jack felt him release again, felt it inside him—he'd never felt anything like it.
Ennis pulled out and then they both collapsed, still breathing hard, covered in sweat. Jack's arms were pinned to his chest—felt like he'd just survived an atomic bomb—then finally felt his breathing come back to normal and began to regain his senses.
"Goddamn." Ennis' voice was raspy, right in Jack's ear because he was still lying on top of him.
Jack began to chuckle.
"What's so funny?"
Jack chuckle turned to laughter. Ennis got off him and laid down on his back, exhaling. Jack rolled over and scooted in close to Ennis, laid his head on his chest, calming down but shoulders still shaking from laugher.
"Jesus, what tickled yer funny bone?"
Jack was silent for a second, and then erupted in hysterical hoots. Ennis couldn't help it, realized what he'd said, and laughed himself. The hilarity lasted for a few minutes, until neither knew what they were laughing about anymore. Finally it started to die down, and Ennis wrapped his arm around Jack, pulling him to his chest, kissing him on the top of the head.
Jack exhaled, his "funny bone" finally dieing down, and propped himself up on his elbow, looked into Ennis' face. He wanted to tell him how much he loved him, how he'd fallen in love with him that first moment he'd shown concern for him outside the bar that night, but the words didn't pass his lips. He just smiled and touched Ennis' face with the back of his knuckles.
He sat up, grabbed his sleeping bag, unzipped it and brought it back over them, laying his head in the crook of Ennis' shoulder. They laid there in silence, in peace, the only noise around the crickets and an occasional howl from a coyote, and the only light from the moon and stars, until they both fell asleep in each other's arms.