CW: Adult situations.
There was no way he'd ever get used to this – the flood of sensations, the buzz of every fiber in his body, the delicious peace in his brain as he loved Harper. There was the obvious immense physical satisfaction, but with every shaky breath that passed through her lips, every arch and twist of her body, and every hiss of his name, his heart hammered and his spirits soared. The satisfaction of being able to work her body, to elicit those responses from her, to unite with her as one cohesive unit, truly eclipsed his own physical pleasure.
Not to say it wasn't a close second or that the line didn't sometimes blur. Which is why his ecstasy addled mind was seriously turning over Harper's muttered offer. He was hovering low over her, forearm braced above her head to provide support as he repeatedly pressed his hips up into her. As such, it had been against his ear that she had whispered, "Did you want to try something rougher like we talked about?"
Was that a risk he really wanted to take? It wasn't, in the scope of their time actually spent together, that long since she had even first been able to enjoy the actual act. Would it really be okay to try out something new and more intense? And would he be able to stay in control? To remain cognizant of her limits and refrain from harming her?
"I dunno, Harper," he grunted as he thrust his hips upward again. Seeing a flash of disappointment across her face, he shook his head to clear it. With another slow pump, he stilled, fully seated in her. "D'you promise to tell me if there's any pain? I don't… I can't hurt you again."
"Promise," the brunette nodded before leaning up for a tender kiss.
Bucky pulled away after a moment, a curse on his lips at the prospect of what he was about to do. He withdrew from her velvet heat, leaning back on his haunches. As his hand searched blindly across the mattress for the bottle of lube he had previously cast aside, he took the moment to luxuriate in the view. Harper lay beneath him, bare and glowing with a thin sheen of sweat. Her chest was rising with her quickened breaths. He especially enjoyed the slick gleam across her inner thighs.
His fingers curled around the bottle, and he deftly squirted a healthy amount singlehandedly between his fingers. He warmed the substance for a moment before spreading it across her dewy lips and then pushing lubricated two fingers inside as well. He knew it was likely unnecessary, wet as she already was, but he needed to know they were as safe as they could be.
Removing the excess moisture from his fingers by wiping them across her clit, Bucky asked, "You'll say something if this position is uncomfortable?"
Harper nodded again, eyes fluttering from his attention to the sensitive nub. Gently, Bucky caught the back of her left knee in his hand and pushed it back toward her chest. Once he had guided her leg into place, she fulfilled his unspoken request and replaced his hand with hers, pulling the limb back obediently. They repeated the process on the other side, leaving her exposed and open to him.
He was torn on where to look – at her beautiful, flushing face, or at her lovely flower with its blooming petals. His cock throbbed painfully, and he shook his head to clear it once more. "Ready?"
When he had received a nod, he placed himself at her entrance and pressed his pelvis slowly downward. Braced above her head on his forearm again, he kept a slow pace, reveling in the new depths he was reaching. Finally, buried as far inside of her has he could possibly be, his eyes fell closed.
God, could there be anything better than this?
The former soldier drew his hips back, paused to calm himself, before snapping forward again. A sharp breath hissed between Harper's lips and he froze. "Y'okay?"
"Yeah," she breathed, hazy eyes gazing up at him.
"Rough?" he asked again, needing reassurance.
Her tongue darted out across her lip. "Please."
The dam on his self-control cracked, and Bucky found himself pulling back only to slam down into her. A new medley of sounds met his ears – the hard impact of their bodies and the fresh squeaks and sighs parting the brunette's lips. She kept her knees drawn back, allowing him full access to her core. He wished he still had both arms so that he could tease her bundle of nerves, but she seemed to be responding well regardless.
His lips peppered her face with heavy kisses, his increasingly labored breaths disturbing her already wild hair. One of her hands abandoned its post. Her nails bit into his back with each hard thrust, scratching lightly between his shoulder blades in just the way he liked. With a moan he couldn't quite hold back, he dropped his face to the crook of her neck. She turned her head, placing a kiss at his temple, and for some reason that did it.
Self-control lost, his hips moved freely. Moans tumbled from his lips as he stabbed between her wet folds as rapidly as he could without sacrificing depth or force. Harper hummed her pleasure against him and her nails dug deeper into his skin and stayed there, gripping him tightly as she was pinned beneath his pistoning hips. Her thighs began to tremble around him and her neck arched, allowing him to nip and kiss her skin. Brow scrunching with effort, the sound of her breathy utterances became almost overshadowed by the harsh slap of their skin colliding with his powerful thrusts. Her jaw dropped to release a strangled moan and he felt her tighten and flutter around him. He fell over the edge, sloppily trying to draw out the electric sensation alighting his every nerve. Burying himself one last time, he finally achieved release.
A moment later, he felt suddenly unsure of his remaining arm's ability to support his weight. He pushed off to the side, collapsing next to the brunette. Immediately, Bucky began placing breathy kisses all over her hair, face, and neck. She was breathing heavily, too, and her eyes had fallen closed as she tried to recover. Still feeling jelly-like but far more recovered given his superior stamina, he sat up first.
Bucky reached for a tissue on his bedside table, trying fruitlessly to remove the evidence of his release from her core. "Shit, I'm sorry, Harper, I…"
She shook her head as he trailed off, eyes slowly opening. They were still hazy and glazed over with satisfaction, but were certain as she said, "I don't mind."
"Really? You sure? I've never… done that to a lady before and now I've done it to you twice."
Harper shrugged. "In the moment, it's kinda hot."
"Like… a turn on?" he checked. When she nodded again, he couldn't help the devilish smirk that twisted his lips. "Well, that's a relief. Despite the newness, I have to admit that I've taken an immediate liking to filling you up."
Harper laughed this time, shoving at the remainder of his metal shoulder lightly. "Cool it, hotshot. There's no way I can do that again tonight."
"You came," he observed, watching the small smile that formed on her lips.
"I did," she confirmed, sounding particularly pleased.
"No fingers involved," he added.
"None," she chuckled.
"I'm glad we tried that."
She hummed her agreement before moving to get up. Bucky frowned and caught her wrist. Harper looked down at him and said, "Give me two minutes. I'm not getting a UTI in an unfamiliar country."
He acquiesced, contenting himself with enjoying the view as she retreated to the bathroom. When she returned, he noted the deep fatigue in her limbs and the soreness already settling into her joints. As she practically fell into the tangle of blankets with him, he asked, "Are you alright?"
"Don't worry," she sighed, pressing herself into him. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her tightly into his chest. Eyelids too weighted down to look up at him, she merely breathed, "I love you."
The former soldier kissed her hair. "I love you, too, Harper."
Harper awoke the next morning to a myriad of aches. The most prominent being in her hips and in her battered core. She breathed a low hiss as she stretched her limbs, which prompted the hand at her waist to move up to her hair, stroking gently.
"Good morning, doll," James whispered against her temple, pressing a kiss there.
"Morning," Harper responded with a sleepy smile.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm sore," she answered honestly. "But happy."
His arm wound around her middle as he turned on his back, pulling her on top of him. Harper laid her head on his chest, eyes fluttering closed. She listened to the steady thrum of his heartbeat, feathering her fingertips across his skin.
"I don't… like causing you pain," he whispered, palm in her hair keeping her pressed against him.
"Pain was quite far from my primary experience last night."
"I don't want to cause you any pain."
Harper frowned, hearing the thinly veiled distress in his voice. "And I trust you not to."
His fingers moved downward, settling to massage her lower back. "So you're really alright with what happened? Despite any pain there might've been last night and the obvious discomfort today?"
"More than alright. I don't know how I can explain this, but it's like… I'm obviously less fit than you so things aren't as strong and limber. And I've sort of come to terms with the fact that there will always be something intense about your…" She gestured vaguely toward his groin, blush heating her cheeks. She was thankful that her face was mostly obscured. "Width."
He chuckled, to both her chagrin and relief. "Are you just trying to stroke my ego?"
"No!" she protested. "Imagine accommodating something… envision the logistics!"
He laughed openly that time and allowed, "Alright, I can imagine what you mean. My apologies."
"Oh, you're forgiven," she teased.
"Can I ask you something?"
Harper breathed a content sigh and nuzzled her cheek against his chest again. He was delightfully warm. "Of course."
"I don't want to offend you, or put any stress on you," James prefaced hastily. "Because I get it, I really do, and-"
"Hun?"
"Was it a good orgasm?" he blurted. Fumbling over his words, he explained, "Because I think it was only the second time you've gotten off during, and it's hard to tell, but it seemed like the first time it was a lot smaller, but last night it felt kinda like-"
"It was really good," Harper interrupted, putting the former soldier out of his misery.
Sounding slightly more at ease, the brunet persisted, "I don't mean to imply that you should be able to during every time. I know it's not necessarily easy for you, especially when there's penetration. I just hope that… at least sometimes I can help you get off when we're together."
"I do have a harder time that way," Harper agreed. "But not because of you. When we were apart… I did some experimenting, if you will. No luck with penetration. So there's something about you, the way you are, that helps me get to where I need to be for it to happen."
"And you'd tell me if there was something I could do to make it happen more often?"
"Of course," Harper said again.
"Okay," he replied slowly. "Thank you."
"No thanks necessary."
Harper closed the lid of her laptop before raising her arms above her head in a stretch. She squeaked at the feeling of her stiff muscles finally expanding and her joints unlocking. Her eyes blinked several times, trying to erase the effects of staring at the screen for so long.
It was quite late, if the pitch darkness outside the windows of the small home were any indication. For another, James was sleeping peacefully atop the nest of blankets he called a bed. A smile tugged at her lips as her eyes fell on his relaxed form.
She'd been in Wakanda for a week and a half. Everything felt like an out of body experience in some way, except for in the moments when she was alone with her partner. James had a way of making her feel like nothing had changed, that she was where she was meant to be. Maybe it was sappy, but she really did feel like things were right when they were together.
It had been an intense experience stepping off the jet into that field. He had looked so different, but also just the same. His hair was longer, wilder. His skin was sun-kissed and his scruff was more grown in. He was still without his prosthetic arm, which he kept out of sight with a scarf. But his crystalline eyes that crinkled at the corners, the smile that was ever so slightly more upturned on the right side, the way he buried his nose in her hair to smell her shampoo in what he surely thought was an innocuous way but which Harper saw right through – it was all the same. Finally hearing his low voice that just hinted at his Brooklyn upbringing nearly brought her to tears.
The young woman had met the Wakandan King just a few days prior at one of the most stressful dinners of her life. What nearly 28 year old would ever expect to dine with a King, friend of their significant other? Having not brought a meet-a-monarch-outfit, she'd been nervous from the start. However, she'd grown quickly fond of T'Challa. He was impeccably polite, intelligent, and relaxed. Conversation with him was very give and take rather than being shrouded in the formality arguably afforded him by his throne. He was set to eat dinner with the couple later in the week, and Harper was looking forward to it.
The brunette quietly scooped up her nightclothes and shut herself in the bathroom. As hastily as she could without making much noise, she went through her nighttime routine and changed into an oversized t-shirt and cotton shorts. With care, the young woman crossed the space to James's bed and lifted the corner of a blanket. She slid beneath it, breathing a sigh through her nose at the softness brushing her bare legs.
James shifted slightly beside her and she stilled, not wanting to wake him. He settled and was calm again, eyes remaining closed. Harper smiled. She had long been grateful for how comfortable and trusting he was with her, knowing him as a combat vet and POW. But now, since knowing who he really was – the true breadth of his trauma – she was marginally amazed that he could trust her enough that her presence didn't trigger his highly attuned senses and rouse him from sleep. Sometimes, she wondered how he let her into his life at all.
The niggling part of her brain that never let her be completely happy reminded her that time was ticking and there were a lot of serious things they needed to discuss. The brunette stared up at the ceiling, allowing her eyes to glaze over a little bit as she focused on banishing those thoughts from her conscious mind. There was still plenty of time for that. She was here, with the man she loved, and she needed to enjoy that.
"You done with school stuff, doll?"
Harper's heart skipped at the husky, sleepy voice. "Yeah, I finished a little bit ago."
"You 're still up, though?" he asked.
She chuckled at the torpor in his question. "Yeah. I've just been thinking."
"'Bout what?"
"'Bout how much I love you," Harper answered with a soft smile.
"Well don't lose sleep over me." James wrapped his arm around her and pulled her on top of him. "Although I do enjoy that line of thinking."
"Of course you do," she teased with a kiss to his nose.
"Do you often lay awake thinking of your love for me?" he asked playfully.
Harper sighed dramatically. "Only every night."
"How fitting that I've found a lady with so much love."
"I loved you more when you were asleep. Less embarrassing."
"Oof. You wound me, doll."
"Your petnames for me make much more sense now," the brunette commented, lifting a hand to his cheek absently. Her thumb skimmed the coarse hair along his jaw.
"Now that you know I'm an old man?" he chuckled.
"Now that I know you used to court ladies of the 30s and 40s."
"Hey, I've courted you alright."
"It's been enjoyable. If not a bit scandalous," she laughed. "I never knew old-timey men were so lewd."
"I may have been horny back then, but you bring out all my kinks," he assured, turning his head and nipping playfully at her fingertips. Turning serious once again, he continued, "It didn't feel safe with dames back then to lean into the things that get me hot."
"It feels safer with me?" Harper asked with a light laugh, poking his scruffy cheek.
"Everything feels safer with you."
Harper's smile fell, no doubt in her mind that he was talking about much more than feeling able to dirty talk or engage in a hard romp. Her thumb feathered back and forth over his jawline. "I'm glad I can be a safe place for you."
"For a while you were my only safe space since 1944," he confessed blue eyes gazing steadily into hers. "I have Steve back now, and I've built some more connections, but you were there when I was lost. I wish there were better words to express how grateful I am for you, but I do want to say thank you."
"Thank you for allowing me to be that for you."
James held her tighter and tilted his head up for her lips. She leaned down and he took them. It was warm and intense, slow and loving, and spoke of his devotion to her. Harper's chest constricted painfully with a deluge of emotion, and she tenderly held his face between her palms as she returned the kiss.
They separated slowly, and Harper buried her face against his neck. She couldn't help the tears that slowly rolled down her cheeks. He held her and pressed kisses into her hair. Hoping he understood, she managed, "I love you, James."
"I love you, too."
A/N: Thank you for continuing along with this story! As always, I really hope that the spicy citrus wasn't too cringe. I'm still not sure I'm any good at writing that sort of scene. Regardless, thank you all again for so much support.