Chapter 10 – Iris
Ron didn't notice Harry when they came back from the Ball much, much later sometime in the early hours of the morning but Hermione did. Ron kissed his girlfriend good night and went up to the dorm. Hermione watched him go and when she was satisfied that Ron wouldn't be disturbing them she went and sat beside Harry.
He was staring into the fire looking as though either he wanted to cry or he had been crying; Hermione wasn't sure. "Harry?" she murmured, he was staring into the roaring fire and it didn't look like he had any idea that she was there to begin with. He slowly tore his eyes away from the fire and looked at Hermione.
"I think I messed up," he spluttered, clearly not wanting to lose himself to tears once more.
Hermione couldn't hide the confused expression from her face, "What do you mean?" she asked, "How have you messed up?"
Harry hesitated as if he didn't really want to share it with anyone, "I…I kissed him," he said almost in horror at himself. He could almost see the cogs turning as Hermione, intelligent as she was, trying to figure out who 'he' was. "He was crying and I was holding him and there was music and it just felt…it was just so natural. Then he just smiled at me and I freaked out and I just ran."
Hermione sighed when she realised who he was talking about, "Malfoy?" she asked, "You kissed Malfoy." Harry nodded rather than admit to it again, "Well…do you like him?" she asked as if this was nothing more than another problem to solve.
Harry looked blankly at her, "How should I know?" he asked, though she had succeeded in taking his mind off his temporary emotional torment.
Hermione studied his face and decided that it wouldn't hurt him to know some home truths, "Harry, I'm going to tell you something. I've been thinking for a while that maybe you and Malfoy have more in common than you think. I don't think you're that interested in girls anymore."
Harry opened his mouth but he was shocked into silence, "What!"
Hermione carried on calmly, "Don't freak out, I know I've been preoccupied with Ron for a while and I apologise for that, it must have been hard but I haven't been completely blind to everything. I've noticed changes in you Harry and frankly you haven't shown the slightest bit of interest in any of the girls here. Not even Ginny and God knows how much you loved her. I thought at first that maybe it was because of your fight with Voldemort but it's more than that. I don't think you like women…"
"You think I'm gay?" Harry asked but he didn't seem to be angry; he seemed to be thinking about it, dare he say it he was considering it?
"Maybe," Hermione said honestly, "But you need to think about it. I'm not a guy but I know that no matter how much you were crying or how distraught you were Ron would never have kissed you to cheer you up."
She kissed Harry sisterly on the cheek and left it at that, leaving Harry to his thoughts.
The following day Malfoy tried to ignore Harry, to be rejected by the school was hard but to be kissed like that and then run off without a word. He could see Harry trying to make his way through crowds to come to him, when he looked out the window Harry would be pacing by the lake looking around as if he was waiting for Malfoy. But it didn't matter no doubt he only wanted to find Malfoy to assure him that the kiss had been a complete mistake…
'So close your eyes and let me kiss you,'
It was as if the music had guided them. Harry was wiping away the tears from Malfoy's face and it had just been such a perfect moment. It wasn't even Malfoy who had started it, Harry had made the first move.
'Oh I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you'
The kiss was perfect, it was so gentle and loving and when it was over they just stared at each other and then…Harry had just run off. He had just dropped his face to the floor as if he couldn't bear to look at him and then just ran. Not a word, not even a look just a run.
Malfoy tried to push the memories away. It was hurting too much. He wasn't going to let Harry just dismiss him as a mistake; he wasn't going to give him the chance.
Harry was close to tears of frustration. Malfoy had been ignoring him all day and part of him (the part that he barely wanted to acknowledge) was telling him rightly so. Malfoy must be feeling completely abandoned and Harry must have broken his heart by running off like that. Even so Harry had spent the whole night thinking about it; he knew where he stood now. He had talked it over with Hermione and she had given him her blessing and let him get on with it.
But Malfoy didn't want to know.
Every time Harry went near him he purposely went in the opposite direction and he did it so deliberately that Harry knew full well that Draco Malfoy the only boy in school without a friend was ignoring him.
Harry stopped outside Black's office, not on purpose, it just so happened that Malfoy had led him up here and then disappeared. Harry was ready to punch something so he took his frustration out on the wall. Professor Black whisked him into the office in an instant, Harry barely had time to notice it.
"What's up?" she asked throwing him a bottle of butterbeer, her stock replenished by her boyfriend's visit.
"Nothing," he snapped, truth be told he was glad of the opportunity to rant and vent his frustration. "Just Draco bloody Malfoy."
Black sat up on her desk drinking her own bottle which, although in a butterbeer bottle definitely was something else. "Yeah? Why? What's he done?"
Harry hesitated, "Well last night…he was upset…and I kinda…I kinda hugged him and then I kissed him and…"
"Oh my God you kissed him!" she shouted, the kind of reaction Harry would have expected off an older sister rather than a Professor and he gave half a glare mingled with a blush. "Oh," she regained her composure, "pray, continue."
"and then I freaked out and just ran."
"You ran away?" she asked in disbelief, "you idiot! You could have said "that wasn't supposed to happen" or "I don't think we should do that again," or…"
"I think I love him," Harry admitted, cutting her off as she spoke.
For a moment the bottle froze, poised in mid air on the way to her lips as Black just looked at him. Without a word she put the bottle down and hugged the boy, "I am so proud of you right now and I know your parents would be." She thought for a second, "Have you told him?"
"He's ignoring me!" Harry cried almost desperately, "He thinks that coz I run off I don't want to know but I was up all night thinking about it and I think I love him…I'd kiss him again at any rate."
"Well it's a start," she muttered, "Come on! We have work to do, we have to create the perfect mood!"
Malfoy rolled his eyes. Detention! Bloody detention in the Room of Requirement with Black! Detention for looking at her the wrong way! Normally he'd complain but he was too depressed to. Maybe sorting out limeweed from normal weed would take his mind off Harry…but still it was going to be a long and boring night. Black was waiting outside of the room, "Malfoy, good good. We're doing it in this room because limeweed is so…well we just needed this room ok so get in there and…whatever," without letting Malfoy say anything she practically threw him into the room.
He felt his breath leave him in an audible gasp. This was no detention and if it was…WOW! There were thousands of tiny candles floating around the room creating the most wonderful atmosphere and there were just two cushions on the floor with Harry kneeling down on one of them, looking up at him sheepishly.
For a moment Draco looked as though he wanted to run away before he realised that this was not the kind of rejection he expected. Harry, fearing the worst, reached out and took his hand before Draco could run away.
"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now."
The music started as soon as their hands met, almost like magic. Harry was blushing as if he didn't know what to do and as if he were embarrassed. Malfoy smiled a little at this Harry clearly hadn't planned this, he had just gone into the room of requirement and found this.
"I'm sorry about…" Harry began, he was ready to apologise for everything, for the night before for running off and for not realising how much Malfoy had meant to him. Malfoy shook his head though; he didn't need to hear this. Actions spoke louder than words and Harry's actions spoke a thousand words.
"And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight."
Harry looked over at Malfoy and made up his mind, without waiting for a response he leant in and pressed his lips to his.
"And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am."
It was perfect. There were fireworks going off somewhere they were sure of it, it was the most perfect moment that ever existed, nothing else did exist. There was only them, locked together enjoying every moment of it.
When they finally broke apart they fell into each other's arms and just fell down against the cushions, they didn't need to go any further, they just lay there together falling asleep to the rhythm of the other's breathing.
Outside Black was satisfied that Malfoy wasn't going to be attempting any hasty exits she left the two lovers to their company, walking away prouder than anyone that Harry had found the love of his life and had had the courage to admit it to himself and to Malfoy.
"And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am."
TBC