Beautiful Release
by Tina
First of all, I wanna answer a review, which I don't usually do. Not because I don't want to. Believe me, I see what you guys have to tell me and I feel like replying each one of you, 'cause you're the best! Hee. But I would waste too much time doing that...! I wanna answer this one just 'cause I feel like I have to.
So maybe I should have developed this bit a little more and tried to explain what it meant. Just maybe. I just sometimes can't quite figure out what people will get from the actions and what I have to actually explain. I don't like over explaining things, so I usually leave them very subtle so people can unfold the meanings and realize what's going on in the character's mind. The part I'm referring to is the oral sex bit on the previous chapter.
Rachel pulled away and walked away, yes. Why? It's very simple. Let's face it, they barely know each other. They might be attracted to each other and all, but this Rachel is smart enough not to... make it too personal, not to use another word. It's an affair. How many people now a days get sick from unprotected sex? And in case you guys have forgotten, oral sex is still sex. And, again, the barely know each other. Meaning they don't have enough intimacy. I don't see that Rachel sticking around for all of it. She had trouble doing it to begin with.
So I don't think what she did was "messed up". Ross is a big boy and he can deal with their bumpy start. It's bound to get better. Anyway, I just had to say that. Hope everyone bought it and don't think "less" of Rachel for that. Just focus on this particular Rachel I've created. If you understand her (which doesn't mean you have to agree with her), you shall be fine.
Alright, enough chit-chat! Here we go... ;) Just wanna say this chapter is not a big deal, just stuff I need to write for the sake of the story, give it a nice balance. It'll pick up next chapter, OK?
Monday morning, Ross couldn't concentrate on his work. He read the same paragraph for the 4th time and by the middle of it he knew he'd have to give it another try. Thoughts of Rachel clouded his mind, made it nearly impossible for any thing else to cross his busy head. He stared at his phone and wondered if he should call her. Maybe he'd been thinking about her too much. What did it mean? Were his feelings for her developing into something more? He shook his head. He honestly couldn't say they knew each other. Therefore, his feelings had to be completely shallow, flat, physical.
Hm, physical. He thought of their last encounter and took a deep breath.
Yet, he longed to call. And what physical contact could they have, over a tiny machine that would merely reproduce their voices? Her voice. Ross bit his lip and picked up the phone.
Rachel was in her closet, practically her home. She had a white lounge chair in the middle of the room and it was covered with different outfits. Rachel took a hanger from one of the countless racks and stared at the outfit it bore. It was a very sexy chic black dress, very Chanel. She took a deep breath and threw it on the pile.
Her cellphone rang. She walked over to the dresser, where one of her bags rested. She opened it and took her phone, smiling when she saw whose name flashed on the screen.
"Hey" she answered.
"Hi." He laid back on his chair. "How are you?"
"I'm good." She started pacing around, giddy. "You?"
"Great, I'm great."
Rachel looked at her clothes scattered around the room, ran a hand through her hair and stopped walking, getting back to reality.
"Listen, Ross, there's something you should know."
"What?" She clearly read concern on his voice.
"Well, you know how Monica is throwing this party on saturday, right?"
"Yeah..." He said, knowing where this was going. "So she invited you and Barry?"
"Yes." She paused for a second. "I mean, is that OK?"
"Sure, of course."
"Yeah..." she started pacing around again, uncomfortable "She just said your parents really wanted to meet him and- and she does too, so... I don't think there's a way of getting out of it, without looking... suspicious. Or, I don't know, unless... if you feel weird, I could-"
"No, I mean-" he cut her. "Why-why would I?" Rachel stopped walking again, hurting a little bit. "Right?" he asked, uncertain himself.
"Right." She repeated. "No, of course, you're right."
"We'll just act casual."
"I can do that" she said, looking down.
"Good."
She sighed. He looked down, really uncomfortable with what had just happened. Yes, it would be horrible to see Rachel with that loser she had for a husband. But... what was he to do? Tell her that and expose himself even more? Expose he did have greater feelings for her, when their thing had just started? She probably didn't feel the same way, anyway. And he would not stand being looked down at, with pity. Not from her.
"Is that all?" she asked, a little short.
"Hm, one more thing."
"Yes?"
"Can you... meet me for lunch somewhere?"
Rachel paused and looked down. Lunch-lunch or sex-lunch?
"No. Sorry, I can't today."
"OK." He looked down. "We'll catch up some other time, then. Bye."
"Bye." Her reply came softly.
Rachel closed her flip phone and took a seat next to her clothes, a little angry at herself for her behavior. She was never that cruel with anyone. As irritated as she could get, she always managed to find an extra batch of patience and act as graceful as a true lady was supposed to. Well, at least she always did, even with Barry. Oh, most of the time she didn't even care, anyway. It was easy to let things go when you didn't.
Suddenly, why was it different with Ross?
Simple logic could answer that question. But she chose to let it go.
---
"Hey, guys." Ross propped himself onto the couch, next to Phoebe and Joey. Chandler was on the armchair to the right.
"Oh, you don't look so good." Phoebe commented.
Ross shot her a look, half annoyed and half defeated.
"Geez, thanks."
"No, I mean, you look tired. Been working much?"
"Yeah, work's starting to pile up at the museum and I've been teaching a few extra classes 'cause one of the other professors has been away, so..."
"Why don't you go home, man?" Chandler commented, sincerely concerned. "As comfortable as this couch is..." he rolled his eyes and chuckled.
"Ah..." Ross looked around. "Nah, I'll stay here for a while. I'll just order a tea or something."
"Things still bad at home?" Joey asked carefully.
Ross looked at him and looked down. Phoebe and Chandler also turned their full attention to their friend.
"Well, yeah." He took a deep breath.
The friends exchanged looks.
"Hm, haven't you ever... maybe... considered all the options?"
Ross looked up at Chandler.
"You mean a divorce?"
Chandler almost flinched at that word, being himself a child of a broken marriage.
"Well, it is one of the options. I mean... it's been a while you guys have been having problems." He paused. "Or you could try some counseling."
"She won't do it, I've talked to her about that."
"So what are you gonna do?" Phoebe wanted to know.
"I don't know. For now, I'll just wait."
Phoebe hugged her friend while Joey patted him on the back. Chandler gave him a supportive look. At that moment, the door opened and Monica stepped inside.
"Hey."
They greeted her back. She went to sit on the arm of Chandler's chair.
"Well, I've called everybody, it seems like most people are gonna be able to make it."
"Great."
"Have you got a word back from your parents?"
Chandler moved uncomfortable on his seat.
"I'll let you know when I do."
"OK." She turned to everybody else. "So, what are you guys up to?"
"Not much." Ross answered. The others caught the drift and didn't say a word of what they were previously talking about. He probably just didn't want to worry his sister, they figured.
"Oh, Rachel also said she's gonna be there. Did you guys like her?"
"Oh, yeah, she was very nice. Although, have to say, her aura seemed a little disturbed that day."
Monica decided to ignore Phoebe's last remark.
"She was truly my best friend in high school. I mean, we'd known each other for a long time and then I got fat, she got popular, and yet she would still hang out with me and take me to places. I'll never forget that."
"So why did you guys drift apart?"
"Ah, you know, college... We had completely different schedules and then suddenly it's like we completely different lives. Kinda like high school, yes, but... I don't know. Hopefully we'll keep in touch this time. I mean, we both live in the city, we both have mostly the days off and stuff." Monica paused and then chuckled. "Hey, remember how you had a crush on her, Ross?"
Ross, who'd been stiff since the beginning of this conversation, looked at Monica and chuckled nervously.
"No, I didn't."
"Oh, please." Chandler started. "Freshmen year of college, she was all you could talk about."
"Can't blame ya." Joey said. "She is hot! If it wasn't for that ring on her finger..."
"Joey!" Monica disapproved him.
"What? I just said I won't do anything."
"You better."
Ross looked away, every passing second making him more uncomfortable.
"I wonder what her husband's like." Monica thought out loud.
"I'll tell you one thing, he's not cheap. That bag she was wearing didn't look fake at all!" Everybody shot Joey a questioning look. "What, I have seven cheap sisters, I know my stuff!"
---
Rachel played with her "happy" pill, letting it slide down her hand and back up, before taking it. She walked into her white marble bathroom and pulled the plug of the bath she'd just used. She walked to the sink and splashed some water on her face. She looked at her tired eyes, as if waiting for the effects to kick in. Soon they would almost sparkle again.
She gave up, it would still be a while.
She walked into her closet and saw the mess she'd made earlier that day. She should've asked Dalva to clean it up, but she'd forgotten. Slowly, she started putting the hangers back where they belonged. After she was done, she looked around and seemed to finally realize how big it was. She sat on the white chair and wondered if she'd ever even worn some of those outfits.
And what were they for? What did the labels say? Why did they matter so much?
She felt tiny.
Empty.
Added up, piece by piece, how much had she spent on all of that? She looked at her bag rack, at least 300 dollars each. At least. One could say you spend that much because you're buying quality. Maybe true. But why did she need six Louis Vuitton bags, one of which she was almost sure she hadn't even used yet? And the suits, the jewels, the shoes. So many of those, some so similar to one another. So much sometimes she thought she couldn't even tell the difference between them.
And who had paid for all of that, again?
Rachel looked down. By doing so, she realized there were many shopping bags almost hidden under the dresser. She walked up to them and recognized them from the day she'd gone shopping with Monica. The day she'd first been with Ross. She unpacked them and shook her head slightly. She hadn't even missed any of this. Why would she? She didn't need them, anyway.
She glanced at the receipt, which still laid in the bags. An awful too much for something you don't need.
She remembered how Barry never once complained about her shopping sprees. She took a seat and thought about it. Inevitably, it led to an even greater topic, their marriage.
First of all, why were they married? It was a question she didn't recall making herself back when they wedded. He did his thing, she did hers. He went to work and owned them a good life standard. She stayed home, watched for their house. It was always impeccablely clean. After all, bossing a maid wasn't so challenging. He was the money and she was the looks. She could spend, he would pay.
As long as she looked great, acted like a lady and put out once in a while.
She looked down. She felt cheap, even in her 400 dollars nightgown.
Rachel dragged herself to bed. She blinked slowly and sighed blissfully as she started feeling conscience slip out of her. She smiled and enjoyed the numbness. It was welcoming. It was quiet. Peaceful.
Suddenly, she felt happy. Or she thought she did. Oh, what did it matter? It was so good. She looked at her watch, Barry would be home any time now. Quickly, she grabbed her phone and dialed.
"Hi..." she practically purred. "I'm sorry we couldn't meet up today, but... can you make it tomorrow?"
Ross turned away from the gang and closed his eyes.
"I'll find a way."
She smiled.
"Good night!" she whispered and hung up.
OK, another chapter is done. It's kinda short, yes, but I promise the next one will be way longer. I really don't have much to say now, just... same as always, please leave a review so I can see how you're following this up :) Thanks for much for reading and see ya next chapter!