Beautiful Release
by Tina

"Are you sure, Rachel, darling?"

"Yes, go ahead."

Sasha, Rachel's faithful hairdresser for the past five years, looked at Monica and then back at Rachel, unsure.

"But you were here just two weeks ago to get those roots taken care of!"

"Well, then I guess maybe I won't have to worry about that anymore, huh?"

Sasha let go of her golden hair and stared at her through the mirror.

"I guess the bitchy brunette is already starting to stir up in you." Rachel smirked. Sasha looked at Monica again. "Honey, I know you're a brunette, it suits you and all, but will you help me out here?"

Monica laughed at Sasha. He was a very tall man, very white skin, neatly trimmed strawberry blond hair. A thick german accent and very out there gay gestures.

"I don't know, I think it'll turn out very good."

Sasha shot her a look.

"Honey, you're not helping!"

Rachel chuckled. Monica stood up and looked at Rachel's hair.

"Gotta say though, it's gonna be a hell of a change. But I do remember you with darker hair in high school and it looked good."

"Yeah. I guess I want it just like that, maybe darker though! And without the red! Just plain dark brown. You got that?" She looked at Sasha, who was finally coming to accept her decision.

"Fine, whatever. I'll go get everything ready."

He turned around to leave, but turned around after two steps.

"How about some high lights?"

"What is it with you and blond hair?" Rachel shot him a look.

He mumbled something in german on his way out. Rachel giggled and looked at Monica.

"That's just PMS, never mind him."

Monica laughed.

"So, any occasion for the change?"

Rachel sighed.

"Nope, I just wanna try it on." She ran her hand through her bright hair. "I think Sasha exaggerated last time I came here. He wanted to try a lighter tone and this is what he gave me. I was thinking I could go with the honey color, but... I wanna try the brunette look first."

Monica smiled and played with her hair jokingly.

"Well, then welcome to the club!"

Rachel smiled at her. As the silence followed, she looked at the reflection before her and wondered how she'd look like. Wondered how he would react to the change. OK, so maybe she'd hear a few complains from Barry, but that was a price she was willing to pay.

She was eager to see what would happen next, as if that would prove her anything. 'Well, at least it will make me a little more different than... her.', Rachel thought. And, for now, that was enough. It was enough to know it would be harder for him to picture her whenever they were together. She could use that as a reasurement. Maybe it would make it feel better. Just maybe.

'Cause ever since she'd known about his marital problems with Carol, that thought never left her mind. And it took away some of the magic of the times they'd been together. God knows her thoughts were very far from her husband on such moments. But now she realized it bothered her she couldn't say the same about him.

---

At every red traffic light, Rachel adjusted her mirror to look at herself again, satisfied.

"I'm sorry, I know it's getting annoying. I just can't help it!" She ran her fingers through her dark hair. "It just looks so much better than I pictured it."

"It does, it looks really great. Do you feel smarter yet?" Monica joked.

Rachel shot her a look.

"Ha-ha" she said, sarcastically, putting the mirror back to its normal position as the car in front of her moved. "So, what are the plans for the rest of the day?"

"Ah, Chandler and I gotta go and have lunch with my parents. How about you?"

Rachel smiled to herself.

"Hm, nothing much. Gonna try and set up something with a special friend."

"Right. Well, have fun!"

"Thanks, you too."

Rachel's car reached the Bedford and Grove corner and double parked, briefly.

"Thanks for keeping me company, honey."

"Don't worry, it was kinda fun. Gotta say though, most expensive pedicure in Manhattan."

"Oh, it'll last up to three weeks if you let it."

Monica laughed.

"Alright, so it's a magical pedicure."

"Something like that."

They kissed each other on the cheek goodbye.

"Bye, honey."

"See ya."

Monica hopped off the car and Rachel watched her leave. Once she was out of sight, she opened her bag and got her cellphone.

-

In his office at the museum, Ross was in the middle of a phone call with his assistant from NYU, his temper rising. The pile of papers to be graded in front of him somehow didn't seem to be getting any smaller. He glanced at his watch, it seemed he would have to lose all of his lunch break, again, to deal with his work.

There was a knock at his door.

"Hold on, Nick, just a sec." he put the phone down to rest on his shoulder. "Come in."

A twenty something woman peeked inside.

"Hi, Dr. Geller, Dr. Liam just wanted to make sure you remembered the meeting later this afternoon. He also asked me to remind you of the visual aid that needs to be picked up."

Ross sighed.

"Sure, OK. Thanks."

The door closed again and Ross returned to his phone call.

"So, Nick, you were saying..."

As the student resumed his speech, Ross heard his cellphone ring. He took it from his pocket, determined to shut it off and call whoever it was back later, or maybe not, when he saw the name on the screen. He smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry, Nick, I'll be right back again." He put the phone down and answered his cell. "Hey."

"Hi." Rachel said sweetly.

"What are you up to?" he allowed himself to rest back on his chair.

"Well... since you've asked...! I've got a surprise for you" she teased him.

"Really? I like surprises."

She smiled, playing with the driving wheel.

"So can you meet me for lunch?" she asked.

His smile faded.

"I can't, I'm sorry."

Her smile also disappeared.

"Oh."

"I'm absolutely buried in work, I'm sorry." He paused, but she didn't say anything. "How about we meet up for dinner or something?"

"I can't." she said quietly.

He sighed.

"I'm sorry" he said for the third time.

Rachel looked out her window, feeling rejected.

"That's OK. We'll try and work something out later, I gotta go."

She hung up before he could say anything. He sighed and looked down. He knew it was silly of Rachel to get upset over that, it wasn't his fault, there was nothing he could do. But still, he felt a little protective of her... And it hurt him a little to know he'd made her feel bad. He knew he had. Besides... if anything, it also made him feel a little flattered to know she really wanted to see him.

He suddenly remembered he had someone on hold and work to do.

"I'm sorry, Nick. Continue."

---

"Rachel!"

Rachel looked over and saw Lisa and Julianne on the ellipse machines at the gym, right next to each other. She smiled weakly.

"Hey, girls."

"Oh my God, what have you done to your hair?"

Rachel played with her pony tail.

"Like it?"

"Love it! I could fuck you right now!" Julianne said.

Rachel chuckled.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Long time no see." Lisa commented.

"I've been coming in the mornings."

Rachel took a machine right next to theirs.

"So, how have you been?" Rachel asked them.

"Been OK." Lisa replied innocently.

"Good, very good" Julianne replied with a grin.

"How about you?"

Rachel smiled.

"Great."

Rachel almost laughed out loud as the silence followed after that, all three girls looking kind of thoughtful. Was everybody hiding something those days?

---

Rachel entered her room drinking a glass of water. As she opened the door, she ran into Barry and almost choked on her drink.

"Oh, good God, you scared me. You're home early."

She noticed the look on his face. His eyes were wide, he was staring. She realized it was the hair and touched it.

"What have you done?" he mumbled.

Rachel took a deep breath.

"Nothing, I woke up this morning and the color had changed" she said sarcastically, though not very enthusiastically. Barry shot her a look and she almost rolled her eyes. "I dyed it, of course."

She walked past him, finally. She threw her work out bag on the floor and then looked back at him, knowing she'd have to say more. It was what a wife did. Or was supposed to, anyway.

"Do you like it?"

Barry made a face she couldn't read. 'That's it, enough' she thought, going into her closet.

Once inside, Rachel took out her robe and started undressing. She kicked off her sneakers, socks and her top, and just as she was about to slide off of her pants, the door opened and Barry stepped inside. Rachel was taken aback, he always knocked. After all, they always did those things in her terms.

"Hey!" she whined.

It was too late, Barry was already all over her. He took her in his arms and kissed her neck, feeling her up with both hands. Rachel closed her eyes, trying to make it go away. It was never like that.

"Barry, come on, I gotta take a shower." she said, hoping it would make him stop.

"You do that later" he whispered into her shoulder.

Rachel bite her bottom lip, stifling a cry for help. A 'stop', a simple 'no'. Anything that would get him out of there. But she couldn't. He backed them onto the white couch in the middle of the room and finished undressing her. Rachel looked to her side, saw their reflection on the mirror and used one of her hands to brush a single tear away. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to forget the fact she was naked with him. If she knew him well enough, it would all be done very soon anyway.

Still, long enough to leave a scar.

It was one thing to have sex with him once in a while their bedroom, with the lights dimmed and half dressed. But this... It was too much for her to take.

After he came, groaning loudly and biting painfully hard on her shoulder, he took a deep breath and stood up. He left the room naked, not bothering to take his clothes with him. She lied on her side and hugged her knees. She had never felt so alone. Who could she ever go to to talk about something like that, after all? She couldn't. No one would ever understand.

They would simply make an awful lot of questions, which she wouldn't be able to answer. Not for real, anyway.

---

She stepped inside the room and, as usual, he was already in there. She took off her glasses and noticed he looked up at her from a pile of paper. She then noticed the look in his eyes, they were amazed. And he noticed the look in hers, they were apathic. And yet... she looked so beautiful. So much his jaws dropped.

"Wow" he mumbled.

She threw her bag on the couch and he put his pen down.

"Like it?" she asked, still looking serious.

"I'll say..."

He stood up and approached her. He took her face with his hands and kissed her softly. He watched her after they broke. She looked away briefly and he knew there was something bothering her. Or maybe there was something new about her dark hair that gave her a melancholic look.

"You OK?"

"Mm-hum." She approached his pile of papers and realized they were exams. "Torturing your students?"

He smiled.

"Just a bit."

She took off her thin jacket and threw it on the couch. His eyes darted to the purple on her shoulder.

"What happened?"

She realized what he was talking about.

"Nothing." She noticed the look on his eyes and knew she'd have to elaborate that. "Barry..." She noticed how his look changed to an outraged one and sighed, shaking her head. She knew it was a childish, but a part of her wanted to hurt him a little, like he had at the party. "It's not like that, he just got a little carried away last night, if you know what I mean."

Ross' expression changed to a serious one and they just stood there looking at each other seriously for the longest time, until she kicked off her shoes and sat down on the bed.

"Have you ordered something yet?" she asked.

"No, I was waiting for you."

They briefly discussed lunch and she picked up the phone, ordering room service. She then put the phone down and looked at him again. He approached the bed slowly and sat down by her feet.

"You look tired" he commented.

She looked at him for a bit before answering, savoring his concerned look.

"I haven't been sleeping well lately." She rested against the head of the bed. "And my feet are killing me, I hate these shoes."

He smiled weakly and took one of her feet and started massaging it. She finally cracked him a smile, which doubled his. It was all he'd been waiting for since her arrival. And yes, it did go really well with her new dark hair. His hands went down to her toes and Rachel felt something unexpected. She moaned involuntarily and he chuckled.

"OK, I think I've found something here." He joked.

"Do it again" she begged, suddenly out of breath.

"Oh, I will." He said, her reaction turning him on.

He played with her toes any way he could imagine, rubbing, squeezing, sucking before they made love and had lunch.

Afterwards, they cuddled in silence. He kept stroking her hair and she rested her cheek on his chest, her eyes closed.

"What time do you have to go?" She asked softly.

He looked at his watch.

"I suppose if I give everybody a B I can stay for another half hour."

She chuckled. Slowly, she raised herself to look at him.

"Thank you" she whispered.

He didn't know the exact meaning of her words, but decided not to ask. He simply smiled.

"Thank you for you too"

She smiled back and they kissed.

Hm, hm. I really hope this makes up for the past lousy chapters! Anyway. Review, please ;)