Beautiful Release
by Tina
OK, here's thinking Rachel leaving Barry at the altar was what pushed Sandra Green to leave her husband. I know there's a fat chance they would've gotten the divorce either way, but not in this story, OK? Sandra and Leonard Green are married. Period. Oh, and pay attention, in the first chapter I said that Barry's parents have passed away.
And you guys are predicting stuff that's gonna happen in the future, lol! Calm down, everything in it's due time, OK?
"Happy birthday, daddy!" Rachel hugged her father tight. After they broke, she handed him a Prada box. "Couldn't expect anything else from me, huh? Take it back if it doesn't fit, but I think it will do alright."
"Thank you, sweet pea." Dr. Green said, adoration for his eldest visible in his eyes. "You look beautiful, thanks for coming."
Rachel kissed her father on the cheek and moved along to talk to her mother, while he greeted Barry.
"Hi, mom, how are you?"
They hugged.
"Good. Oh, sweetie, you look gorgeous."
"Thank you." They broke the hug. "So, who's coming?"
"Oh, we didn't want to make a big fuss. We just invited your father's brothers with their families, your sisters and I think they're each bringing a date."
Rachel rolled her eyes.
"Good luck to them."
"But you guys are the first ones to arrive."
"Oh, yeah, the road was surprisingly clear on the way here."
They started moving to the livingroom.
"So, what's new?" Sandra asked her daughter.
"Nothing, really." She took a seat on the couch with her mother. "Oh, I've been talking to Monica Geller again. Called her a few weeks ago and we've been hanging out, it's been quite nice. Do you guys still keep contact with her parents?"
"Oh, hardly. They never come down to the club anymore."
"Right... Well, Monica's engaged now. I've met her fiancé and their friends, they're very nice."
"That's good. What does he do?"
Rachel took a minute to think.
"I don't know, actually. But it's something in an office, of that I'm sure."
Within one hour, the rest of the guests arrived. Rachel sat with her aunt Leslie and her sisters Amy and Jill, but kept her eyes on her father, chatting with Barry just a few feet away. Barry laughed at what seemed to be Leonard's joke, keeping the latter very satisfied. 'Kiss ass', she thought to herself. For some reason, that night it bothered her to see how much her father liked Barry.
"So, Rachel, darling-" her aunt started. "How long has it been since you and Barry got married?"
"Six years."
"Really, that long? Wow, your cousin Julia was already 5 when you uncle Harry and I had been married that long."
Rachel forced a smile, knowing where this was going.
"Don't you two ever think about having children yourselves?"
There it was.
"No. We don't want to." Rachel said it shortly. She'd usually stall a little and come up with some excuse. But she didn't feel like it that particular night.
Sandra Green, who was speaking to a maid near by, turned her head instantly.
"Excuse me, young lady?"
Rachel looked at her and sighed. Amy and Jill looked up, finally snapping out of their boredom.
"Oh, what's the big deal? We don't want children, so what?"
"So what!" Sandra approached her. "When did you decide this?"
"Well, Barry and I talked about it and just decided it, mom, I don't know when. And what's the big deal?"
Sandra shot her a look.
"May I know why you don't want it?"
"Just because, mom...! I'm not exactly a motherly person, let's face it. And I don't want a nanny to raise the child either. Besides, I just don't wanna put my body through it either. Call me selfish, but it's my life and I just don't want it, OK?"
Sandra crossed her arms and looked at her youngest girls.
"Great, now I'm supposed to rely on these two if I ever want to have grandchildren."
"Actually-" Amy started. "Rachel does have a point!"
"Yeah" Jill agreed.
Sandra shot Rachel a look and left the room. Amy and Jill laughed at each other.
"Yeah, that was fun." Jill commented, earning a look from her oldest sister.
---
Rachel kicked off her shoes hard, hopping off her heels and exhaling loudly once inside her closet. She threw her purse on the couch and went into the bathroom, picking up the products to remove her make up. She looked up when she saw Barry's reflection on the mirror before her. He stopped by the doorway and watched her.
"What?" she asked impatiently.
"Why did you tell your mom we didn't want to have children?"
Rachel looked away from him and proceeded with her task, reaching out for a cotton disc.
"Because we don't." she said simply.
"Since when?" his voice sounded impatient aswell.
She looked up at him again, irritated.
"How many times have we talked about this, Barry?" She let go of everything she was holding and turned around to face him. "And I perfectly recall telling you clearly that I didn't want to have children!"
"Well, maybe I do."
"Why, so you can parade them around like you do with everything you have?" she almost shouted back.
He approached her and she backed away until her back hit the sink.
"I don't see anything wrong with me wanting to have children."
"And I don't see what's wrong with me not wanting them!"
"Then I guess that leaves as a problem here, huh?"
Rachel laughed.
"Barry, believe me, this oughta be the smallest of our problems."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
She took a deep breath and looked at him for a while.
"Nothing."
She turned around and resumed her task, looking down.
"I'll think about it." she said quietly.
Barry smiled to himself, satisfied. He knew what that meant. Or thought he did.
---
Ross entered his home. It was late and the lights of his apartment were already off. He stood by the door for a while and then checked his phone for the millionth time that evening. Nope, he hadn't missed any calls. He looked down. It had been five days since he'd last spoken to her.
He couldn't shake off her words. He couldn't erase the picture in his head. Rachel and her husband, making love on their expensive bed in their well decorated bedroom.
Why did she need a lover then? What the hell was he supposed to mean to her?
He shook his head, it wasn't simple as that, he knew it. After all, he wasn't getting any with his wife and yet was sure that his thing for Rachel was beyond mere sex. He'd come to accept that realization, as scary as it was. After all, if it was plain physical, he wouldn't be so jealous, would he?
Well, bottom line was it bothered him. But what was he to do? They were married, it was only normal for married people to have a sex life. He and Carol were just an exception to the rule, he believed. Not that every married couple had the sex life he couldn't help but imagine Rachel and Barry did, but it certainly wasn't as miserable as his and Carol's.
This should be the part he would break thing up with her. After all, it was clear he was falling for her when she wasn't. He couldn't deny she seemed to care about him, probably more than he'd let himself believe most of the time. But still, he couldn't let that thought lead him to rushed suppositions.
After all, it was only an affair.
He threw his briefcase on the couch, feeling a little sick at the thought of that word.
Yet, he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to say goodbye to her. The simple thought of not seeing her again, not touching her and making love to her was a little torturing. It felt like it had been going on forever, for he couldn't understand how he could have lived without it for so long.
He slowly made his way into the bedroom. Surprisingly, Carol was up. She looked up at him from a book and, surprising Ross one more time, cracked up a smile.
"Hey."
"Hi."
"Was the meeting long?" she asked.
"Yeah, just ended a while ago. But I still had to stay for a bit longer to talk to Dr. Cohen."
She gave him a smile again.
"You poor thing."
Ross just looked at her, confused, but decided to let it go. He walked up to the desk in a mini office they had in the room and started looking into some papers, picking up some he would need the next day at work. He felt Carol's gaze on him quite a few times, as she raised her eyes up and down to take a peek. She seemed nervous, he noticed.
Slowly she stood up and approached him. She wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging him from behind. He ceased his actions immediately, his body stiffening like a rock.
"You know, Ben's asleep..."
Ross looked down.
"I- Not now, Carol." He made her let go of him and moved to another pile of paper on the desk. She stared at his back, a look of disbelief on her face. "I'm sorry" he mumbled.
"I don't get you!" She controlled her voice because of their son sleeping on the next room, but still let her annoyance very clear through her tone. "All those times you were trying to get some and you'd get all upset and now I'm in the mood and you're turning me down?"
Ross turned to look at her.
"Well, exactly! You have those days you're not in the mood, so why can't I?"
Carol shot him a look.
"'Cause you're a man, Ross! Last time I checked you were always ready to have a hard on like that!" she snapped a finger.
Ross stood there and looked at her for a while, shocked by her words. The Carol he knew would never talk to him like that, let alone with that kind of vocabulary.
"Well, I'm sorry. But I have no idea who you are and what you've done to my wife." He threw the papers back on the desk. "Excuse me."
He left to the bathroom and slammed the door after him.
He leaned against the window, having trouble to understand what'd just happened. Had he just turned Carol down? And why again? Because it felt as if he were betraying Rachel? Rachel? Rachel who apparently had no problem having sex with her husband Rachel?
There had to be something terribly wrong with that picture.
---
"Wow, wait a minute!" Monica cut Rachel's speech and stared at her friend. "You don't wanna have kids?"
Rachel shook her head.
"No, I don't."
"But... why?"
"OK, why do people keep asking that? Why would I wanna have them?"
"Because... it's gonna be a tiny little person you and Barry made together and you will love her more than anything else in your life! And you'll care for her and protect her and be a mom, you know?"
Rachel stared at Monica.
"Her?"
"I don't know, I keep seeing you with a little girl." Monica said, getting all giddy. "And you could dress her up and all, I'm sure you'd like that part."
"You do realize I could get a doll and do that, right?"
Monica shot Rachel a look.
"You couldn't possibly be comparing a child to a Barbie, Rachel."
"No, you're right. A baby cries and poops and needs an awful lot of attention... You're right, it's not the same."
Monica gave her a jokingly fake smile.
"Ha-ha!"
"No, I mean, seriously, Mon. I just don't wanna be like most of my friends, you know? Who have children only to pass on the stupid family name and so they can be raised by nannies and then spend the rest of their lives in therapy to cope with their parents' absence! And let's not forget all the blaming for every tiny little thing that goes wrong in their lives. Wow, some parental life, huh?"
"Well, you could be different than them. You could actually take care of the child."
Rachel played with her nails.
"Please, Monica, I can't even take care of myself" she said quietly. Monica looked at her intrigued, wondering if maybe that was a tip of an iceberg. Rachel was always full of life and smiles, she never for once stopped to think that maybe Rachel had problems of her own. Don't we all? But, before she could question anything, Rachel opened another smile and went on. "Oh, think of the stretch marks too."
"You could always adopt and avoid that."
"Oh, not an option for Barry, I'm sure. For some reason he wants to pass along his premature hair loss genes along, don't ask me why."
Monica laughed.
"But, anyway, what did Barry say?"
"Well, he made very clear that he wanted kids. Even though we've talked about it many times and last time we seemed to have settled on the no. And now... I told him I'd think about it, but..."
"Wow. I thought maybe this was the sort of thing you were supposed to discuss before marriage."
"Have you and Chandler?"
Monica stopped.
"OK, never mind."
Rachel smiled.
"Well, thing is... I thought I did want to have children back then. But right now... I don't know, I've changed my mind."
"So what's gonna happen if you two don't settle for a common decision?"
Rachel kept looking at Monica for a long time and then shrugged. The whole thought of it made her head spin a bit. Despite everything, Rachel didn't want to get a divorce. It was uncertain, and she was used to security. She liked her stability, knowing how everything worked around her and always would. So Barry wasn't the perfect man and their marriage was far from being functional, but... it worked, in its own messed up way.
She was part of that routine, they'd mastered it over the years. She found herself on shaky ground that moment, a little hard to follow the steps of the dance, but still... Maybe she should end things with Ross. She pondered for a bit. No, not an option. She couldn't bring herself to that, it would just have to be something else.
Maybe she should just keep going and try to find a new pace. Eventually... Who knows what could happen? Or maybe she should stop thinking so much about it. Yeah, she should do that and just let it flow.
---
After Monica was gone, Rachel got her cell phone and called him. After a few rings, his voice came on and asked for a message. She looked down and flipped her cell phone closed.
Guys... May I remind you one thing? I do this as a hobby. I know it seems like I don't have anything better to do sometimes, but I have a life and an awful lot of things to do, which I sometimes neglect to rush to my computer to write (bad Tina!). The fact this is about the millionth story I'm writing doesn't make me a professional. I have learned a lot over the years, but not nearly everything. If you're looking for someone you can demand perfection from, you're at the wrong place. I'm just a 21 years old killing some time, ranting about my favorite fictional couple. Anyway... bear that in mind. Constructive criticism is very welcome, just please don't expect too much from me. I have enough pressure over my head as it is (which makes every chapter harder to write than the previous). Anyway, see ya next time. Please, please, please review. Please. And try adding the good points about it. Not only he bads, OK? I'm sure there are good things here, otherwise you wouldn't still be reading. Or are you that bored? lol!