Beautiful Release
by Tina
"Really?" Ross held on to his phone tight.
Rachel sobbed.
"God, yes, Ross."
"I just..." Ross paced around, with his stare fixed on the floor. "Sometimes I feel like we don't even know each other, Rach..."
"But you don't even try."
"You're right. I never did." He stopped pacing. "But that's 'cause I was scared."
"Of what?"
"Of not meaning anything to you. Of being just a hobby or something like that..."
"Oh, Ross. I wish you'd know just how much you mean to me..."
He whipped a heartfelt tear from his eyes.
"I do now."
She smiled weakly.
"I have to see you. Now" he said after a moment of silence.
"OK" she answered fast, ignoring the fact it was eight o'clock at night and Barry would be home any second.
"I'll be there in about half an hour."
"Alright, I'll see you there."
She hung up and sighed, clutching the phone tight on her chest. Quickly, she put it in her bag and left immediately, whipping her tears on her way to the door.
---
When he entered the room, she was already waiting for him. They exchanged relieved smiled and rushed towards each other, meeting on a kiss.
"Don't do that again", Rachel whispered softly into his ear. He smiled weakly and kissed her again.
"OK."
They kept looking at each other for a while. He brushed away a tear from her cheek and then kissed the wet trail.
"Monica knows." Rachel whispered again.
"What?"
"After you left she called me and asked me to go there... She knows."
"How?"
"She saw us the other day."
"When? What did she see?"
Rachel just looked at him for a while.
"Does it matter?"
He sighed.
"You're right." He stroked her hair. "What did she say?"
Rachel looked away.
"You know, that we're married and it's wrong and all that..."
"What did you say?"
Rachel looked back at him.
"I told her it was over." Ross looked down briefly. "And that you're the best thing that has happened to me in a long time..." she added in a low tone.
He looked up at her, smiled and kissed her again. Slowly, he took his time to savour it as his hands stroke her back gently. After they broke, they hugged and she rested her face on his shoulder, closing her eyes and gathering up some courage.
"How about you?" she whispered.
"What about me?"
"How do you feel? About me..."
Ross broke their embrace to look at her and smiled.
"I'm sorry, I thought it was pretty obvious. Specially after my little jealousy break down..."
She smiled weakly.
"You call that a break-down?"
"You didn't see my inside..."
She smiled again and kissed him softly.
"God, Rach... I can't even begin to imagine what would be of me by now if you hadn't come along. I was on the verge of madness and you gave me a reason to stick to sanity." He started stroking her hair, his eyes filled with admiration. "You're so beautiful and sweet and funny and... I can't believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. Specially... well, so intimately."
Rachel sighed blissfully and hugged him again.
"That's all I needed. To know that you're not just using me to get some..."
Ross chuckled weakly.
"Anybody who would see you as just that would be nothing but a fool."
"Thank you."
They kissed. Rachel's hands quickly untucked his shirt from his pants and pulled it up his head. He complied, finding his way around the buttons of her shirt. Half naked, they continued kissing as they kicked off their shoes and Rachel's phone started ringing.
Ross loosened his grasp on her, allowing her to break free to answer it. However, she pulled him closer, making it clear she was going to ignore anything that might spoil their moment. Ross smiled, knowing that that alone spoke more of her feelings for him than the words she'd just said. After all, she hadn't even pronounced her husband's name as she spoke of her feelings. Yet, she was obviously willing to ignore him just to be with Ross. At least for the night.
As the phone stopped ringing, Ross broke the kiss and looked into her eyes.
"Sleep with me tonight."
She knew exactly what he meant.
She nodded quickly, smiling.
"Yes."
---
In the deep of the night, Rachel stared at the man sleeping beside her. She felt something deep inside, so hard she had to close her eyes to focus on dealing with it. She opened them again and continued to stare at Ross. Funny how they had been together so many times and yet had never shared this moment together. And it was a moment each daily shared with their spouse, yet not with the same intensity.
She thought of what they'd said earlier, about how they couldn't say they really knew each other. And yet... Rachel closed her eyes again, admitting it to herself. She loved him.
When she opened them again, this time she found him looking at her. He smiled.
"Hey."
She smiled back and stroked the back of his head tenderly.
"Go back to sleep", she cooed.
He leaned closer and kissed her.
"I'd rather enjoy your company... Come here."
She went into his open arms and they cuddled. A long time went by in silence, until her cellphone interrupted it for the fifth time that evening. Yet, once again, Rachel didn't move to answer it. Ross smiled and kissed the top of her head.
"What time is it?" she asked.
"Eleven forty five. You sure you don't wanna answer that?"
"I'm sure."
"What are you gonna tell him?"
She lifted herself up and looked at Ross with a jokingly defiant look.
"What are you gonna tell her?" Ross shrugged. "I'll worry about that tomorrow."
"Good."
He pulled her back into his arms, enveloping her gently as his hands stroked her naked body.
"Rach?" he asked after a while.
"Yes?"
"Are you serious about, well, hm, not wanting to have kids?"
Again, Rachel lifted herself up to look at him.
"What?"
"Well, you told Monica you didn't want to have kids, right? I just wanted to know if you really meant that."
Rachel looked at him deeply. What, did he want to have kids with her? Huh. That thought made her wonder a bit. The idea just somehow didn't seem so bad. Rachel looked down and half smiled.
"I... I don't know." She looked up at him. "I just don't see myself as a mother figure, you know?"
"See, I think you're wrong..." he slyly said.
She smiled and ran a hand through her hair.
"Maybe. Whatever the case, now's just not the time."
"Definitely not." he said looking into her eyes.
Rachel sighed contently.
"Mm, good."
Oh God... So I have my own laptop now, which means I can write basically whenever I want. I'm also practically on vacation from college. And I've been in a fairly big Ross and Rachel mood lately. Yet, there's something blocking my writing. This was the best I could do...! I keep trying to come up with plots for this, but I've given up on doing it in this chapter, so I'll post pone it. So next chapter - whenever that gets posted - should be more interesting. Meh. Anyway... I still hope you liked that, a little mush...! Please, please post me a review. Who knows that might motivate me :) Thanks for reading!