Beautiful Release
by Tina

Just as he'd predicted, Ross found his apartment empty when he finally got home that morning. Carol had already gone to work, taking Ben with her. He quickly scanned the small apartment looking for a note from his wife, but found none. He took a quick shower and left for work, trying hard not to let his overwhelming thoughts of Rachel drive his sanity away.

Yet, it was a slow day at the museum. Plus, he didn't have any work to get done from the university, no exams to be marked or projects to be analyzed. It was simply an excruciatingly long day, for it allowed his mind to wander free. However, the memory of the previous night gave him a little hope. She'd been so sweet and pretty much given him a fresh batch of confidence towards her feelings for him.

He longed to talk to her, but figured he should give her a little break for the day, she'd gone through too much as it was. The panic attack, the hospital, facing her husband... Ross knew Barry must've been up waiting for her, eager for an excuse, even though none would satisfy him. He closed his eyes to deal with his rage as he pictured the prick yelling at her, hurting her with offensive words.

He stared at his cellphone and shook his left leg madly under his desk, trying to canalize some of his energy. He wished there was something he could do to protect her.

His office phone rang.

"Yes, Helen?"

"It's Dr. Phillipe on the line. May I pass the call?"

"Yes, thank you."

Hopefully something else to occupy his mind.

---

After being released earlier from work, Ross made his way to Central Perk. As he reached the glass walls, he spotted Joey, Phoebe and Monica on the orange couch. He stopped himself and focused on his sister. He wouldn't hear the end of it and he'd hate it... But she was his sister and he knew she only wanted the best for him. He couldn't avoid her. She'd grown to become much too important for him over the last few years. So he sighed, lifted up his chin and entered the coffee house.

"Hey, guys."

"Hey, man." Joey replied.

"Hi, Ross." Phoebe greeted through giggles, apparently after a little joke Ross had just missed.

Ross smiled weakly at them and looked at Monica, waiting for some big reaction. But she had none. She sipped her coffee and looked at him.

"Hey."

Ross took a seat on the arm chair, uncertainly. However, despite Monica's initial behavior, being the protective sister she was it didn't take long before they were both by themselves upstairs, at her apartment.

"...and then this morning when she told me she was with you, I just-"

"Wow, wait." he cut her. "You spoke to her this morning?"

"Yeah, around six something, I'm not sure. I kept calling her cellphone all night after Barry called me, asking about her."

Ross sighed.

"Well, that explains."

"What?"

"You were rude to her, weren't you?"

Monica frowned at him.

"A little, of course, Ross."

"Well, thank you very much then!" He said, sarcastically. "That must've been what triggered her panic attack this morning. She woke me up to take her to an ER."

Monica's eyes opened widely.

"Is she OK?"

"She is now, I guess."

"I-I'm sorry." Monica looked thoughtful. "I guess that would explain the pills."

"What pills?" He turned to his sister, interested.

She was quiet for a few seconds.

"Well, last night she came over and..." she opened her bag and reached for the bottles of pills. "these must've fallen out of her purse by accident."

Ross took them and analyzed them for a bit. After a while he looked down and then quickly up at Monica.

"Why did you call her when you found out about this? Why not me?"

"I don't know, Ross. I wanted to see what her side was, what was going on in her head."

"But why? You could've asked me what was going on."

"'Cause I wanted to know how she felt first, if she was just using you or something!"

"Huh?"

"I wanted to protect you, Ross!"

"Protect me?"

Monica looked down.

"You're my brother and you were vulnerable."

"You're making it sound like she's the bad guy here. If anything, I started this, Mon. I'm more to blame than she is."

Monica kept looking at him.

"Because you were horny and not getting any from Carol?"

Ross only half smiled.

"A little, yes, I'm not gonna deny it. And she was my high school fantasy. I was needy and she was suddenly willing and... I know it makes me the biggest jerk to cheat on my wife like that, Monica, but it just happened. But then... time went by and, you know, these feelings started showing and growing and..." He shook his head. "It's not just physical anymore, Mon. I..." he sighed. "I think I'm in love with her."

Monica bit her bottom lip.

"She really seems to care a lot about you too. I mean, when I asked her, she told me you were the best thing that had happened to her in a long time." She spoke quietly.

Ross smiled weakly.

"Yeah, she told me that." Monica half smiled back at him. "See, so... don't give her a hard time, Mon."

She looked away.

"I adore Rachel, Ross, you know I do. But... she looks... troubled." She gestured to the bottles of pills. Ross looked down. He had to admit there was something very wrong with Rachel. She was constantly sad and distant and her mood changes were inexplicable most of the time. "I used to think she was happy, that she had this perfect life she's always dreamed of. But last night... She really scared me. I'm really worried about her now. I'm worried she'll end up screwing this up and end up hurting everybody. And I know it's not my place to try and make things right for you two, but I just can't stand to sit here and watch it."

"I understand." He nodded. "I really wanna make this work, we'll try and do the right thing, sis."

"Then leave Carol!"

Ross kept looking at her, in silence.

"I don't understand the big fuss you're making here, you two." She continued. "I'm not upset because you guys fell in love. I know thee things happen sometimes and you can't stop them. I'm upset because you're not doing it the right way!"

"But what if she decides she doesn't want to leave Barry?"

Monica almost shivered when she noticed the look of fear suddenly very clear in his eyes. She approached him.

"Even if she doesn't, would you still continue to be married to someone you don't love anymore?"

Ross looked down.

"It's not that I don't love Carol..."

"Ross, you know what I mean. Don't settle for second best. If it's not Rachel, then, well, maybe it'll be someone else. You're not being fair to Carol."

Ross stood up and paced, frustration filling him.

"This is gonna sound really horrible, but right now what's best for her isn't really what's in my mind." He turned to look at his sister's shocked face. "You should see the way she's been treating me, Mon."

"Oh, and you're considering to stay married to that! I don't get you, Ross."

Ross shook his head.

"Monica, it's not always about love, OK? We get along well, most of the time, we have Ben to think about... I like the feeling of stability, of being settled with someone. I'm not gonna throw that away for possibilities. If Rachel makes up her mind, for sure, then we'll do it, we'll be together. If not..." he shook his head, while part of him was too disgusted with himself. "Then, then..." He trailed off. "Oh, damn it..."

Ross put his hand on his face and allowed himself to cry a little. What the hell was he saying? When had he become the sort of person who thought such things?

Monica approached her big brother, embracing him on a tight hug.

"It'll be OK. Just talk to her, alright?"

She kissed his head and sighed.

---

She woke up with the door opening.

"Oh, sorry, did I wake you?"

She rubbed her eyes. Since when did he care?

"That-that's OK. What time is it?"

She stared in awe as he walked into the room carrying a beautiful bouquet of white roses - he always mistook them for her favorites - and a bag.

"It's five fifteen. I've cancelled the rest of the appointments for the day to see how you were doing. Here." He handed her the flowers and left the bag on her bedside table.

"Thanks."

He kissed the top of her head and she sat up, watching as he dropped his keys and emptied his pockets on his desk.

"You know what we should do? We should go on a trip, what do you say?"

She parted her lips, surprised.

"Ah-I..." she gagged.

"We should go to Europe again. How about France and Italy? I could take a few days off and heck, you can choose, wherever you wanna go."

"We'll... think about it."

He smiled and approached, taking the flowers.

"I'll ask Dalva to put these in water for you."

"Thanks."

She looked after him and he walked up to the door.

"Shall I tell her to get dinner started? I stopped by the market and brought a lot of things."

She nodded.

"OK."

He left and Rachel ex-hailed loudly, leaning back against the head of the bed. He sure wasn't going to make things easier for her. She looked around and saw the bag he'd left for her. She opened it and found it full of bottles of pills. She looked down and got tears in her eyes. Ah, yes... Nothing like drugging your wife through the marriage to get exactly what you wanted. She tied a tight knot on the bag and stuffed it into the bottom drawer.

And then she stared at her phone.

---

He put the last folded shirt into the suitcase and zipped it shut. When he turned around to look one last time around the entire room, he found Carol standing by the door. He looked down and then nodded slowly.

"I guess I'm all done here."

She looked down and crossed her arms across her chest. A brief silence followed.

"Is it OK if I pick Ben up from school tomorrow? I wanna, you know, talk to him about this."

"Sure."

"Thanks."

He picked up his suitcase from the bed.

"I'll come by some other time to get the rest of my stuff."

"OK." He walked up to the door, but she got on the way and stopped him. "There's someone else, isn't there? And you were with her last night, weren't you? After you left me here, by myself..."

The quiet tears in her eyes broke his heart a little. The whole evening had been too long and quite possibly the hardest of his entire life.

"We've been through this, Carol. You know this marriage hasn't been working for a long time now."

She brushed her tears away with her knuckles.

"Why are you giving up on us now?"

"Damn it, Carol, don't throw this on me now! How many months have we been having problems and I tried working it out, trying to talk you into counseling or anything to get us out of this and you very strongly declined all of my attempts, huh?"

"Well, OK, let's do them now, then."

He shook his head.

"Now it's too late." Silence followed. "I'll be at Monica's for a while, until I get my own place."

Carol finally sobbed and moved out of his way. Ross looked down, took a deep breath and left.

Aw. Now, just to be clear, Ross and Carol did talk more than just that! Only it was before he started packing up his stuff, right after he got home, OK? I just didn't feel like writing it. Plus, it was not necessary, dramatically speaking. The important was this last bit ;) Anyway, so... My PC broke down a couple of weeks ago. It's fixed now, which explains the update. The laptop was still running, but not connected to the Internet. So I went ahead and wrote two chapters. The next one should be posted in a few days, depending on the reviews I get from this one. Also, life's been interesting and kind of busy, so don't expect much for the next couple of weeks. Thanks for reading and keep those reviews coming, please :)