Beautiful Release
by Tina

She closed her eyes.

She couldn't deal with it. She couldn't. She just... oh, God, she couldn't deal with it.

She had to.

She gave Ross' hand a light squeeze and opened her eyes again.

"What happened?" he asked her again, with a low and fearful voice.

"It's Jimmy." She wiped a tear away. "Barry's "little brother" Jimmy. He was involved in a car crash with his family. They said the girls and his wife seem to be OK, but he slipped into a coma. Oh, damn it!" She let go of his hand and walked away, brushing more tears away, sighing heavily to try to cope with the feeling that was quickly overtaking her.

"Oh, honey, we're so sorry." Monica said.

Rachel kept her back to them, trying to gather up some strength. She would need a lot of it.

It was going to kill Barry. After their parents' passing, Jimmy was the only family he had. Despite the distance - Jimmy lived with his wife Sarah and two kids in San Francisco - Rachel had never questioned their relationship. Besides, it was not just Barry. Rachel felt it deeply, also. Jimmy was such a great person, so full of life and love and laughter. She loved her brother in law and his family.

She felt Ross' strong embrace close around her, hugging her from behind. She sighed and couldn't help but think of Barry. The lady on the other side of the phone had told her Barry seemed to have been busy at the clinic - she knew he never took phone calls while he was with a patient - and so she had to be the one to go over there and tell him.

She felt bad for him, oblivious to what had happened. Just waiting for it to hit him like a ton of bricks.

It would be unfair of her to throw a few more and let him go through this alone, wouldn't it?

She wiped more tears away and stroked Ross' arm.

"Hm, I have to... go and tell Barry about this." she said, with her voice breaking.

"Sure."

He let go of her.

She turned around to face him and looked at him for a while.

"You understand I... have to... hm, you know" she sighed "be around him for a little longer and..." she shook her head, more tears running down her cheek "help him through this, right?"

Ross swallowed hard and nodded slowly, uneasy.

"Sure."

She leaned closer quickly and kissed him. A part of her knew she had to savour it as much as she could, maybe something would... Oh, Jesus.

She sobbed and pulled away.

He simply watched as she picked up her purse, received a loving hug from Monica and then left.

-

She hopped off the elevator on Barry's floor. She sighed and checked herself on a hand mirror before opening the door, she didn't want to look too devastated. OK, so her eyes were still a little red, but there was very little she could do about that. Every passing minute she involuntarily replayed the message she had received in her head and it never failed to refresh the tears in her eyes.

She grabbed a pair of sunglasses from her purse and entered.

"Hi, Mrs. Farber." the middle aged receptionist said, with a wide smile on her face. "What brings you here today?"

"Hi, Lisa. I need to speak to Barry, is he with a patient?"

"Yes, but Katie should be out in a second."

"Don't call the next patient, OK? I need to talk to him."

Lisa's expression turned into a worried one.

"Is there something wrong?"

Rachel looked down and nodded.

A few minutes later, his door opened and he walked his patient - a teenage girl with pink wires on her braces - out.

"Schedule again for two weeks, OK Katie?"

"M'kay, see ya!"

Barry saw Rachel and smiled.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

He approached her and her eyes filled yet with more tears when he kissed her forehead.

So oblivious to everything...

"Something happened, we need to talk." her voice was breaking already.

So much for wanting to be strong for him...

He got serious and led her into his office, a hand on the small of her back. Once inside, he closed the door and she turned to face him.

"What's wrong?"

She took off her glasses and sighed, looking at him.

"Jimmy was involved in a car accident with Sarah and the girls." Barry froze. "The girls and Sarah seem to be OK, but Jimmy was a little more complicated and he slipped into a coma."

"What?" Barry whispered.

"I'm sorry..."

"But- but..." he trailed off, looked away and backed away a few steps. "No, this can't be right."

Rachel sobbed and approached him. She hugged him and he buried his face on her shoulder. She stroked his back as he cried, somehow glad she could be of any help there, feeling needed at that place, at that time.

"They called me just about half an hour ago. He's gonna be OK, you'll see."

"How fast can you pack our bags?"

She pulled away from the hug.

"What?"

"I'm gonna attend the patients that are already here and ask Lisa to cancel the rest. Meanwhile, I want you to go home and pack our bags, OK? I'll call the travel agent and book us a flight for tonight."

Rachel nodded.

"OK."

He brushed his tears away and picked up his cellphone, starting to call the agency. Rachel sighed and left.

-

Rachel opened the two suitcases and placed them on their bed. She walked into her closet and started picking her clothes, carefully placing them on the long lounge couch in the middle of the room. Her cellphone started ringing, so she rushed to her purse and picked it up. Barry's name flashed on the screen.

"Hello."

"Listen," he began "I got us a flight for 5pm, OK? So we're gonna have to leave around three or something. I'll be out of here in about an hour then I'm coming home, OK?"

Rachel glanced at her watch, it was 1pm.

"Sure, OK."

"Bye."

"Bye..."

She hung up. She put the phone down, but kept looking at it. She sighed and picked it up again, dialing his number.

"Hey, how are you?" were his first words.

"As good as I could be, I guess."

"Right..."

She sighed.

"OK, here's the thing... I'm actually packing a bag now, Barry and I are going to San Francisco in a few hours."

Pause.

"What!"

"He wants to go and be with his brother, Ross..."

"In San Francisco?"

"Yeah, Jimmy lives there. Had I not mentioned it?"

"No, no you haven't!" discontent was clear in his voice. She just looked down and said nothing. She heard him take a deep breath on the other side. "When will you be back?"

"I don't know."

There was a long silence again.

"I'm sorry, Ross, but I just can't leave him like this. Not now. Please, try to understand that."

"I... I'll..." Pause. "I'll see you when you get back."

"Hey" she said, sensing he was about to hang up.

"What?"

"I'll miss you."

She waited a couple of seconds for his reply.

"I'll miss you too. Bye."

"Bye."

She hung up and sighed, hanging her head low and massaging her right shoulder.

Shit, she needed to be prepared.

She walked to her night stand, opened the bottom drawer and picked up a plastic bag. She untied it and emptied it inside her suitcase, watching the orange bottles hit ground and the pills within them shake.

Better safe than sorry.

-

Rachel stared out of the window as the plane took off, a blank expression on her face. She felt exhausted. And damn, she still had a long flight before her.

His hand reached for hers. She turned and looked at him, watching her with tired eyes. He smiled very weakly and she tried to smile back.

"Did you find out the name of the hospital?" she started nervously.

He nodded.

She looked out the window again, watching the setting sun and how New York spread down as far as her eyes could see, yet, little by little, being left behind.

"Hey, Rach." He called out for her attention.

"What?"

She turned back to face him.

"Thanks for being here."

She felt really guilty, but nodded and smiled just like a dutiful wife.

Rachel wondered how long he would keep acting like this. Was it a plan to torture her? A way to keep her and then go back to his usual self? Or perhaps was this a new Barry?

He leaned closer and kissed her

It's small, I know, I just needed to keep it going and I didn't want to stall. So I opted for this, I guess. It's pretty straight, simple and says nothing but what I believe is important to the story. For now, that's what I want. When I get some inspiration back, then we might have something more. You guys have ben so great. So this is for all the reviewers. I haven't been in the mood, but I pushed myself into doing this today because I owe it to you guys,. The old and the new readers ;) Thank you. And keep those reviews coming! As you can see, they push me! ;)