So I have decided to re-do most of this fic because I have decided that the chapters are too short and I might change City of hurt as well but then again thats been finished so I may not. I have been thinking about re starting this fic but I decided against it because it would take to long and I really don't want to because I've already had to re start this story once but that was another reason oh well. More things will be changing yes like the fact I may not be posting as often but that is for a proper reason, another change will be the fact that I have another story coming out and it is called City of memories. Those are mainly the only changes that will be happening so yeah.

Also need to mention another big change but for this story um I will be adding Drugs but it wont be how its done. It will be little things but it is mainly for effects and I completely understand if this story is not for your liking. I will never go into detail about what happens and how it happens the only thing I will go into detail is if its needed for a flashback or something important but It will never go into detail as this story isn't based off of drugs.

If you need to talk about anything feel free to PM me or whatever just talk to someone as I cover a lot of triggering things in this fanfic. I hope your ok and your doing well in this current situation we are in. If you are struggling with any mental health issues or anything that I mention know that you are not alone I'm not trying to tell you what to do I just know from experience that sometimes saying your there for them helps.

TRIGGER WARNING: In this chapter there is mentions of rape and drug abuse. Actual Self-harm, bullying, incest, abuse and E.D (eating disorders)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the mortal instruments or anything mentioned in this Chapter all I own is the plot line but even that I barely own so yeah On with the chapter.

3rd person

Clary had woke up in Sebastian's bed with purple and yellow bruises littered all over her torso along with scars. She remembered last night and what happened, her wrist was sprained, her ribs bruised and her innocence was already gone it was stolen ages ago. Clary winced as she got up from the cold mattress, she limped to her room where her clock read 7:30. She had thought to her self, 'Ok I have enough time to cut myself, bandage my arm, get dressed and then go to school.' Her bathroom used to be a pale white but now it was a literal shit hole, most of the tiles had been broken and there were syringes littered all over the sink area from the many times her father and brother brought friends over.

Those friends were part of a drug ring that Clary wanted no part in but luckily the only thing she was forced to do was let the men touch her, some even made her take some of the drugs which she never could say no to. She pulled one of the few tiles that weren't broken and grabbed the box that held her blade of choice, it was a razor blade. She brought it to her arm and dragged the blade, thirteen times along the multiple cuts that were healing. Her pale arm had scars littered up and down in horizontal and vertical lines, she had cut it so many times before you could barely see the freckles that once were on her skin. Once Clary felt satisfied with her arm, now covered in blood, she wrapped it in a bandage and finished getting dressed. She wore a long sleeved top with a green hoodie onto along with black ripped skinny jeans and her converse, she had to have new ones that Sebastian made her pay dearly for them. She took one final look around her room before grabbing her black vans school bag and went out, she got into the car where Sebastian was waiting.

"I hope you didn't eat anything dear sister, we wouldn't want you getting fat now would we?" He grinned before poking at her ribs which caused her to wince, he looked up at her with fury in his eyes. She looked down before nodding her head and that was enough for Sebastian to drive to Idris High. Before Sebastian could even say a word she had already hoped out of the car and ran to Simon, Magnus and Alec. They saw her curly red hair and got up giving her a hug which again caused her to wince.

"Clare? They hurt you bad again didn't they." Magnus stated, he didn't need her to nod to know that's what happened. She was about to respond when Verlac cut her off.

"Hello slut, Alec?" He said, "Dude what the hell are you doing here hanging around with the school slut, nerd and faggot. If you ever want to become the popular jock you need to ditch the losers and come hang out with Kaelie and the gang." Verlac snickered as he placed his hands on Alec's shoulders. Kaelie sauntered over to where Verlac was, her blond hair with a green tint to it swaying behind her.

"Well. Well. Well if it isn't the slut who begs her brother for sex and drugs." Kaelie snarked. (A/N I checked it is a word also Verlac is Sebastian verlac not her brother) The others all laughed except Aline and Maia. Clary didn't get to hear her friends stick up for her or the rest of what Kaelie said because she just ran into the school and to the girl's toilets, sobbing she grabbed the razor blade that was hidden in her other pencil case. She cut another 12 times before she heard footsteps causing her to quickly put the razor away, Magnus had stormed into the toilets not caring about anything else and hugged her. She sobbed into his shirts as he mumbled. 'Stupid Verlac and Kaelie picking on my fireball.' She chuckled at the mention of a nickname that only Jace and Jon used to call her. The bell rang causing them to break apart and head to the form that they shared even though they were different ages. Clary was drawing Magnus and Alec on a bench in Central Park when Verlac and his goons stole her sketchbook.

"Hello Redfreak want this back." He said tauntingly, she just got onto the desk and grabbed it back before stuffing it into her bag. The end of form soon came and Clary found her self heading towards art which she had with Simon and Alec. Mrs Reed had left a few days ago and a new teacher was coming but she was late today so, Clary decided to finish the drawing she had started in form. When the teacher finally arrived she had red hair and green eyes, she looked so much like Clary. Clary had wanted to draw the new teacher . (A/N So random fact about Clary when ever she sees people that are beautiful in their own way she actually wants to draw them its like in COB) The new teacher had just finished putting her stuff down when she turned around to face the class, but when she saw Clary her eyes widened and she gasped. The whole of her class looked at her as if she was crazy.

"Sorry everyone, I'm Mrs Garroway. I am the new art teacher here, so if everyone could get out their sketchbooks and finish any projects that Mrs Reed did with you. Miss Morgenstern I can't help but notice that you already have your sketchbook out, is it possible if you could stay behind at the end?" She asked causing everyone to look at Clary, who nodded her head and looked back down to continue drawing. The hour flew by and it was time for everyone to pack up and get ready for their next lesson. Alec and Simon were waiting outside whilst Clary was talking to Jocelyn.

"So Miss Morgenstern-"

"Please call me Clary or Miss Fray." Clary cut Jocelyn off. Jocelyn nodded her head before continuing,

"Clary how would you feel if you could stay after school to work in my art studio. You see I need people who want to be artists and I feel as though you could be one. So how would you feel about it?"

"Really Mrs Garroway thank you but can it be on the weekends in the day as my father doesn't like me out after school hours." Clary said.

Jocelyn nodded before saying "Ok Clary I'll see you on the weekend and tomorrow. goodbye." Jocelyn finished smiling Clary left the room and went to English with Alec. Simon had to go to Chemistry with Maia.

"Clary are you ok after today with what Verlac said. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything about it. I feel really bad." Alec said whilst looking down at the ground,

"Alec it's not your fault Verlac is a prick." She smiled and went into their classroom. Her desk was near the back and she was the only one who used that desk, Alec was sat at the front next to Kaelie who was always trying to hook up with Alec. He had come out a few years ago and it was pretty amazing how he came out, he kissed Magnus in front of the entire school and everyone was shocked but Simon and Clary were amazed at our friends brave choice. Sadly his father didn't agree with his sexuality and he left to open a school in L.A where Izzy is studying. Clary missed having another girl around but Robert took her, they still talk through their phones but she doesn't know about Clary's home life. English went by pretty fast but it took Clary a little longer to pack up as Kaelie and her posse decided to knock into Clary every time she tried.

Time jump- Lunch

Clary's pov

I was putting away my books when Kaelie came up to me and cornered me against my locker, I know I probably shouldn't say this but she did scare me because she reminded me of my father and brother.

"Clary I'm sorry I was a complete and utter bitch towards you ." Kaelie almost sounded sincere almost, I laughed at her attempt to fool me but she just responded with a slap. It caused me to end up getting beat up pretty bad because I couldn't fight back. The girls all around us were chanting fight! but when Alec and Simon noticed I hadn't met up with them, they stopped the fight. Alec had just helped me up when Maureen -one of Kaelie's posse- poured freezing cold water over me, Alec helped me to the girls toilets where I just bawled my eyes out for being weak and continued an endless cycle of saying sorry and I'm a horrible friend. Alec disappeared for a few moments and returned with my P.E. kit and a hoodie, he stayed out side the toilets whilst I got changed and I used my razor to cut my arm a few more times before putting on the hoodie and I told Alec to come in. I continued to apologise for being an awful friend when he stopped me.

"Clary look at me your a wonderful gorgeous person who is kind and amazing your one of my best friends. Ok I'm going to call Magnus who is going to take you to Taki's and your going to stay there till the end of school. Ok." Alec said and I nodded. Alec grabbed his phone and called Magnus who had a free lesson right now he didn't really have many classes because he was super smart. Magnus came with in 2 minutes of Alec's call he took me to his car then to Taki's. We stayed there till I stopped crying and gave into the fight of never ending darkness.