Disclaimer: I don't own, nor claim to own, anything to do with Spooks. That honour belongs to the people at Kudos and The BBC. I'm just borrowing a couple of their characteres and playing around with them.
Spoiler Warning: If you've not seen episode 5.05 (Shown on BBC1 Monday 9th of Oct) or 5.06 (Going to be shown on BBC1 Monday 16th of October) you may want to wait until you have before you read this.
Just a little something that came to my head literally about 10 minutes ago. Please R&R - let me know what you think :)
Tortured Mirrors
Three in the morning isn't an odd time to be awake if you're a Spook on a job. Infact, on some operations, it can begin to feel as though it is the middle of the afternoon if you've been awake for so long without anything to do but count the bricks on a suspect's house. But three am, when you aren't at work, three am when you're supposed to be normal and be fast asleep, is a horrible time to be awake and restless. As two men with more in common than they can ever tell each other are realising as the minutes tick by.
South East of the river, Adam is sat up at his kitchen table, a cup of tea by his right hand, his head supported by his left. He's exhausted, but he can't sleep. He wont let himself sleep. Too many images of Fiona fill his mind if he lets it rest these days. And now he has the guilt to cope with as well. He didn't mean to sleep with Jenny. He didn't even mean to kiss her. But she was there, in his arms, holding him tight and whispering in his ear that he was safe. And she felt so warm, so... alive. He hates himself for not stopping himself, for not saying that he shouldn't do this. Even though he knows that allowing himself to be loved again might be the only way to heal, he feels it was wrong, dirty. He feels as though he has betrayed the woman that he loved and still loves. He takes another sip of his tea and looks at the clock. He's got to be on the grid in four hours' time.
South West of the river, Harry is sat up in his living room, a glass of whiskey in his right hand, his head supported by his left. He's exhausted, but he can't sleep. Too many images of Ruth are flying around his mind for it to relax and rest. And now he has the guilt to cope with as well. He tried desperately hard to, but in the end, he couldn't save her. He didn't even tell her that he loved her. She was there, in his arms at last, her hand on his cheek, her lips against his, holding him tight and whispering to him to just let her go. And she felt so warm, so...real. He hates himself for not holding her against him longer, asking her to please not leave him here. Even though he knows it was the only option to do as she asked and just let her go, he feels he should have done more. He feels as though he has betrayed the woman that he loves. He takes another sip of his whiskey and looks at the clock. He's got to be on the grid in three and a half hours' time.
They'll greet each other in the corridoor, noticing that the other looks troubled and nodding when the other replies that they're just having a little trouble sleeping. After all, they are a pair of tortured mirrors, they understand all too well how it feels.
End