*Happy, up-tuned, jingly version of Justice League theme*
Hunters of Justice Chibi!
Intervention
"J'onn, we need to talk," Superman declared as everyone sat around in the Martian Manhunter's room, a large white banner with the word 'intervention' written on it.
"About what, might I ask?" J'onn asked as his gaze calmly looked at everyone, noting their looks of concern.
"Buddy, we love you," Flash said, "but…you have a problem."
"What problem?" J'onn asked, raising his eyebrow in confusion. Wonder Woman placed her hand on his shoulder, an empathetic look on her face.
"It's okay, J'onn. It's okay. We're here for you, you know that right?" Diana stood up straighter, holding her hands in front of her waist while J'onn just looked more and more confused. Finally, Batman grimly shook his head and looked him straight in the eye.
"J'onn, we found the stash." At once, J'onn's confusion disappeared, only to be replaced by feigned ignorance.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he declared, subtly noticing how the room was enchanted to prevent him from phasing through. 'Curse you, Fate.'
"J'onn, I think you do," Superman insisted. "We're not judging, but it's become apparent to us that you have an addiction."
"No, I don't."
"Then why do you have two tons of Choco boxes in your closet?" Batman pointedly asked, to which J'onn stared at him stoically.
"…I'm holding them for a friend," he finally answered, to which Batman narrowed his eyes in clear disbelief. He was too clever for that, and while J'onn normally appreciated that quality in the Dark Knight, right now he despised it.
"J'onn, we all know that's a lie," Batman stated while clasping his hands together and bringing them in front of his face. Knowing that it would be pointless to lie again, J'onn shifted to another tactic.
"It's not hurting anyone," J'onn insisted, only for Flash to shake his head.
"Buddy, that's not true. Seeing you like this…it hurts all of us." A pause then enveloped the group as they all stared at J'onn. "Also, the boxes fell on Jaune."
"Guys! Get me out of here! It's so dark and dense! I think they're double stuffed!" Jaune's muffled voice shouted out from underneath a mountain of Choco cookies.
"Hang on, Jaune! We're almost there!" Ruby shouted while she continued to shovel cookies into her mouth. Long ago she had lost the taste for the chocolate and cream sandwich cookies, but with her duties as a huntress in mind, she continued to eat her way closer and closer to her trapped friend. She had already thrown up twice, but would not give in.
"Ruby, stop eating them!" Weiss chastised while she continued to dig with her bare hands.
"And let these cookies go to waste!?" Ruby shrieked.
"Yeah, Weiss! Seriously?" Jaune's voice, muffled as it was, sounded out again.
"You are trapped under them!"
"Yeah, but even I know not to let cookies go to waste! No matter the circumstances."
Before Weiss could even sigh in exasperation, Pyrrha suddenly burst into the room, eyes frantic. The others were right behind her, and upon seeing the pile of Chocos smothering her leader, her face warped with rage.
With a loud cry, she pulled several pots and pans out of thin air and leaped towards the pile of Chocos, determined to remove any obstacle between Jaune and his freedom.
"They managed to get him out, although Ruby had to be checked into the infirmary due to overconsumption," Batman revealed.
"I am deeply sorry for Mr. Arc's dilemma," J'onn stated, sincerely regretful that his stash fell on the young boy, "but…"
"J'onn, please," Superman begged, causing the Martian Manhunter to stop. Seeing this, Superman continued. "Given recent events, we have decided that we had to step in. As such, we are confiscating all Chocos from your room, and you are no longer permitted to have them."
"What? You can't be serious!" J'onn shouted. The others noted that, even when shouting, his voice was much flatter and drier than their own.
"We are, J'onn. Please, we're only trying to help you." Once again, Wonder Woman put her hand on J'onn's shoulder, only for the Martian to stare at her in anger. With a silent huff, he thought about walking out of the room but figured that would be futile.
Sitting down, J'onn decided that he would sit through this 'intervention'. He knew he didn't need it. After all, he didn't have a problem. He could stop whenever he wanted, he just didn't want to. One way or another, he'd get his Chocos. J'onn J'onzz just had to figure out how.
It had been, admittedly, hard the past few weeks. The League had been very thorough in its quest to prevent him from acquiring more of his favorite food. No one was allowed to give him any, stores refused to sell them to him, and he was beginning to grow desperate. Which was why he was now in a dark alleyway in the dead of night, standing across from a silhouetted figure.
"Do you have it?" the figure asked, taking their hand and stroking it across their impressive mustache. Without saying a word, J'onn produced a bag from his pocket and tossed it into the darkness at the figure's feet. Kneeling down, the dealer opened the bag to reveal the powder within, and carefully pinched some of the contents and brought it up to their nose.
"Hmm, Peruvian. This is good, really good."
"Will it suffice?"
"I think it will, yes." The figure chuckled as she stepped out of the shadows, revealing Nora wearing a fake mustache and wearing a leather trench coat. In her hands was a large box of extra-stuffed Chocos, which J'onn eyed hungrily. Handing it to the Martian, Nora smiled. "Pleasure doing business with you again."
"Same." J'onn looked at the box happily and opened it while Nora gleefully skipped away to brew another pot of coffee. He then took a cookie from the box and ate it, savoring the taste.
"Mmmh. Delicious."
[~][~]
How Ruby Saved Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and in blissful repose,
Rested all of our heroes, except for a Rose;
"Muamha…" Ruby snored as she snuggled into her bed, only to suddenly bolt upright.
"…I have to use the restroom…" she said with utmost conviction, then disappeared in a burst of rose petals.
She crept through the house, as quietly as she could,
Careful not to disturb her friends, nestled all snug in their bed.
She passed by the chimney, eyeing the stockings all spread,
And she smiled, remembering the tales
Of how Santa Claus could solve all ails.
"How exactly a fat guy in red is supposed to deliver presents to seven billion people in one night is beyond me, but what do I know?" she admitted as she returned to her room, only to pause at a mouth-watering sight.
Before her laid a plate of cookies and a warm glass of milk,
With hungry eyes, she scanned the room for any ilk.
"Eh, just one won't hurt at all," she reasoned and reached for a cookie, only to bolt upward in surprise.
Above her came a sound, a loud bang that echoed in the hall,
Startled, she pulled her beloved weapon out of nowhere, the blade striking the wall.
Curiosity filled her form, and she resolved to find the source,
No matter what she found, nothing would change her course.
"Who the heck keeps rhyming?" she wondered as she climbed the stairs.
When she finally reached the open air, she gasped in wonder,
Before her, clad in red, was Saint Nicholas, cursing his blunder.
"Oh, poor Rudolph!" he cried, telling Ruby of his plight, "Without your nose, how will I see at night?"
Ruby's heart filled with pity, seeing a man so joyous now sad,
It was then that she knew what to do, her will become ironclad.
"Um, Mr. Santa Claus, sir?" she called out, her voice quiet. Yet Saint Nicholas heard it all the same, and he turned about in surprise.
"Why, hello dear Ruby Rose!" he called out, his sadness giving way for happy cries.
"…You know my name…?" she gasped in amazement, and the man before her laughed.
"Of course I know your name, silly girl! I have it right here, on my Nice List!" he said, pulling out a parchment all crinkled.
True to his word, for which she held no doubt,
She saw her name emblazoned in red, and she couldn't help but shout.
Father Christmas laughed heartily, her joy filling him with glee,
While the girl calmed herself quickly, before launching into a question spree.
He explained what had happened, a most tragic of tales,
Of how Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer fell to a most peculiar of ails.
"He struck a bee, you see," he said as he pointed to the swollen nose, "and now it just won't shine."
"Oh, that's awful," she cried and pet the creature, the reindeer purring softly and kicking its hind leg back rapidly like a dog.
"Yes, and I'm afraid that I simply can't go on this year," he wailed to her, and she let out a single tear. The light glistened off of it, reflecting off of her eyes, and Santa Claus was drawn to them.
"Wait, Ruby…" he said softly, catching her attention, "You…have silver eyes…"
"Um…yes," she answered, wondering how this would make his problem subside. Then, with a hearty laugh, Santa Claus held out his hand.
"Ruby Rose, you have a very special gift in those eyes! They may just be the key to saving Christmas this year!" he explained, and Ruby's heart grew.
"What do I need to do?" she asked, any semblance of hesitation gone.
"I need you…to believe," he said, and Ruby scrunched her eyes closed. She reached deep into her soul, allowing the hopes of Christmas to fill her heart and hold it aloft, before opening her eyes wide.
Ruby's eyes shone brightly like starlight, becoming a beacon in the night,
Santa cheered loudly, knowing they were still in this fight.
"Ruby Rose, with your eyes so bright, will you guide my sleigh tonight?" he asked politely, ignoring the lights of Ruby's eyes shining into his.
"Yes, I will," she said with a smile brighter than the stars, then mounted Rudolph and stared afar.
"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
"On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen!
"Away we go, into the night!
"Guided forward by bright Ruby's light!"
Together as one, the two traveled across the land,
Giving presents to all the good boys and girls, none ever bland.
From America to Africa, to Australia to Asia,
None were missed in their globetrotting fantasia.
At the end of the night, when all presents were given,
They soared all triumphant, to their goal they had striven.
"Is that all of them, Mr. Claus?" she asked from the front of the sleigh, only for Saint Nicholas to shake his head.
"No, my child. I'm afraid not. There is still yet one more stop."
"Who?" she asked, becoming perplexed when he pulled out a giant lump of coal.
"I must deliver this to one last man. But, I cannot ask you to come with me on this journey, so I will take you home now."
"But…"
"No, Ruby. Our time, however pleasant, must now come to an end," he said with sadness in his eyes as they returned to their quaint house. The light disappeared from Ruby's eyes, replaced with sadness at leaving her newest friend. She got off his sleigh, giving Rudolph one final pat, then trudged back into her home.
"Wait, Ruby!" Santa Claus called out, causing the young girl to turn around in surprise. He then tossed her a present, and when she looked at him again, he beckoned her to open it.
With unashamed glee, she tore open the package, revealing its treasure,
Only to gasp as she beheld her prize; a globe of Remnant, made of silver.
"It's…beautiful…" she told him, and Santa Claus smiled warmly.
"Hohoho!" he called out as his sleigh took off into the night.
"And that's what happened to me last night," Ruby finished her tale, a smug smile on her face. Her friends, however, each sported varying looks, ranging from Nora's and Jaune's looks of unabashed wonder to Weiss' stare of disbelief.
"So, you're telling us that, last night, you met Santa Claus."
"Yep."
"Who is real."
"As real as you or me."
"And you helped him…save Christmas."
"And he gave me this neat globe!" she said as she held her gift aloft for all to see.
"…Seems legit," Yang stated with finality, causing her sister to smile brightly. Then, the smile disappeared as her thoughts began to wander.
"You know," she wondered aloud, "I wonder where he went to last? It sounded dangerous."
"Eh, I'm sure he's fine," Yang shrugged her sister's worries off. "Where's the worst place he can go?"
Apokolips
"You've been a naughty boy again, Darkseid," Santa Claus proclaimed, the ruins of Darkseid's army strewn before him.
"Santa Claus, my mortal enemy," the God of Tyranny declared as he rose out of his throne, "You've defeated my defenses yet again. I'll have to upgrade them for you next year."
"That's what you always say," Santa replied as he threw his bag to the side.
"Quite," Darkseid replied as his eyes glowed red. Then, Santa roared and flexed, his red suit exploding to reveal the chiseled body beneath, complete with a twelve-pack and arm muscles the size of his head, and the two combatants charged forth at one another.
Their battle raged for hours, buildings and monuments crushed, only for a wounded Santa Claus to emerge victorious once more. He took off back to his home, leaving behind a broken New God, a lump of coal lying next to his head.
"No…" Darkseid groaned as he gazed upon the coal, forcing him to feel what he hates most: regret. He turned his hateful gaze towards the man who caused him to feel regret once more, and he said those famous words:
"Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!"
[~][~]
Hello, everyone, and Happy New Year! Sorry for the long wait. Holidays, you know? Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this particular installment of Hunters of Justice, or HoJ Chibi, I should say. Yes, like our Batcomputer Files, expect to see more of these in the future. As in Dragon Rose, we love doing this funny one-offs.
As I wasn't able to do the Q&A last time, let me do so now:
Althea Sirius: The fates of all the Remnant characters outside of RWBY and JNPR will be revealed in due time.
Croniklerx: Happy that you're enjoying the story so far! I'm loving fusing these two worlds together as well. You are correct that this story is mostly an AU of the Justice League animated series, but with a few outside sources and personal interpretations to create my own story. I do plan on brining in DC Rebirth, Post-Crisis/Pre-Flashpoint, and good elements of the DCEU into the fold as well. For example, Wonder Woman's origin was the DCEU version. As for Tower of Babel, you'll have to wait and see on that front.
meeyaargh3412: Yep, the Batcomputer Files are a thing in this universe. It is something that Batman would do, and it also allowed us to flesh out the world. Expect to see more of them, and not just on RWBY and JNPR. There'll be others on the other heroes, the villains, and even certain aspects of the wider DC universe.
And I'm glad that you liked the tournament! That chapter was a blast to write, however long it got. It was indeed meant to show that, just as Scarecrow showed that the RWBY characters were mentally vulnerable to the people of Earth, they are also physically vulnerable to them. And yes, the breach of the Doom Door is troubling, and is important for this arc of the story. As for the traitor's identity? You'll have to wait and see on that front.
revan4221: Salem's fate will be revealed in due time, as with all the other RWBY characters.
As for the questions regarding who the woman was, you'll have to wait for the next chapter. Rest assured, this next arc will be much more fun and light-hearted than the past few chapters.
Hope you all enjoyed the Chibi chapters and see you next time!