*Happy, up-tuned, jingly version of Justice League theme*
Hunters of Justice Chibi!
Lost Opportunities
Revelations:
"I'm not sure I want to do this anymore," Yang admitted as Ruby wrapped the Lasso of Hestia around her wrist.
"Yang, we all did it," Ruby pointed out, "even though it was…embarrassing." The young huntress was still sheepish over her admission that, when she was young, she thought she had eye-lasers based off of a story her father and uncle told her. At the very least, Yang looked back on it happily.
"Besides," Weiss stated with a small frown on her face as she pointed behind her, "I sincerely doubt that anything you admit to would be as revealing as Pyrrha. They still can't look at each other and it's been thirty minutes, the poor guys."
"I'm sorry!" Pyrrha and Jaune apologized, briefly turning around to look at their friends only to catch a glimpse towards each other. Scarlet blushes filled their faces once again, and both immediately turned around to stare into the wall. Everyone looked at them with sympathy. Out of all the ways to find out that your best friend liked you more than just a friend, this was perhaps one of the worst ways for it to be discovered.
"You know, in hindsight Pyrrha's actions make a lot more sense now," Blake added, surprised at herself that she didn't catch on beforehand. At the same time, her mind couldn't help but drift towards the books she read in the middle of the night but forced herself not to dwell on them. The Faunus then shook her head, and gently took the lasso from Ruby's hands.
"Ready?" she asked, wanting to make sure that Yang was comfortable. The blonde brawler glanced between all of them for a moment, then nodded. Blake nodded back, then thought of a question, one that wasn't too revealing. Finally, she settled on one that she felt was innocent enough.
"What's a silly fear you have?" Blake asked.
"Cuttlefish," Yang immediately answered, throwing everyone for a loop. Even Jaune and Pyrrha took a break from their embarrassed sulking to stare at Yang in astonishment, who herself stared blankly back at everyone else.
The room was silent for a minute, then Nora softly said, "Cuttlefish?"
"Along with any other tentacled creature," Yang added. Weiss narrowed her eyes and tilted her head.
"Why cuttlefish?" she asked.
"When I was, like, three, my mom and dad took me and Ruby down to the beach to swim. I ended up getting a cuttlefish attached to my head, and we couldn't get it off as apparently it had its Aura activated. It took three hours, and they had to shave my head to get rid of it."
Everyone digested that information slowly, then sympathetic looks crossed all of their faces.
"Yeah, I can see how that would be traumatic," Ren admitted, and Yang gave him a solemn look.
"Yep. From then on, I knew that anything with tentacles was evil, and nothing will convince me otherwise."
The teams nodded in understanding, then prepared to move on to the next victim. Before it could be decided, however, Blake's ears twitched as she heard Wonder Woman mumble under her breath.
"Do not mention Starro…" Diana mumbled, the volume of her voice low enough so that none but Blake could hear her. The Faunus wondered who this 'Starro' was, but before she could even ask, she felt the lasso get gently wrapped around her own wrist.
"Blake, it's your turn," Ruby said with an encouraging smile.
"Joy," Blake intoned, then mentally prepared herself.
"Alright, Blake. Easy question," Weiss started and tapped her chin in thought. Ruby then felt the need to whisper a suggestion into Weiss' ear, who shot a scandalous look towards her partner.
"Ruby! That is entirely inappropriate!"
"Oh, come on!" Ruby protested, but before Weiss could protest further, Blake spoke first.
"Diana," Blake answered, causing everyone to look at her.
"Um, yes?" Wonder Woman asked, but Blake shook her head.
"No, that was the answer to Ruby's question. She asked me who I thought the prettiest person I ever met was, and the answer to that was you."
"Oh." Wonder Woman looked at Blake for a moment, then warmly smiled. "Thank you, Blake. I'm honored."
Blake felt a blush cross her face and looked away. At the same time, she saw that everyone else did the exact same, and at once they all knew that, for that specific question, they had the exact same answer. Even Weiss and Nora, who Blake knew for a fact were straight. Wonder Woman seemed to realize it as well, but instead of feeling offended, instead she only shook her head and laughed.
Tongue-Twister:
"Oh, who's a good Silkie? You are! You are!" Weiss cooed to the alien slug, who chirped and squealed joyfully as the former heiress gently tossed him up and down. Ruby and Nora looked on happily, while Yang could barely contain her disgust.
"How can you possibly find him 'cute?'" Yang asked, genuinely curious, only for Weiss to gasp in offense and hold Silkie close.
"Yang, how can you insinuate such travesties?!" Weiss demanded as Koriand'r joined her, a heavy pout on her face.
"Yes! The Silkie is the most adorable!" Koriand'r insisted, gently asking Weiss for Silkie back. Silkie squealed in excitement as he was handed back to his owner, and then held him up to Yang's face. "Apologize to the Silkie."
Yang looked at Silkie, who stared back then squealed and squirmed. He looked as though he wanted to hug her, and Yang shot a glance at the Tamaranean then back at Silkie. Finally, she sighed.
"I guess he's kinda cute," she admitted. Koriand'r smiled and floated upward in triumph, then gleefully handed Yang her pet.
"Here, you must hold him!" she declared, gently thrusting Silkie into Yang's hands despite her feeble protests.
"No, no! I'm good, I—" Yang tried to stop her, only for Silkie to wind up in her arms anyway. She grimaced, even as Silkie made himself comfortable. "Ugh, he's so slimy…"
"That is part of his charm!" Koriand'r clarified as the rest of Yang's friends snickered about her situation. The ones paying attention, anyway. Blake was currently reading a book about a killer clown with Raven, Ren and Nora were making pancakes for breakfast, and Jaune was playing Super Smash Brothers with Garfield and Victor. Weiss, meanwhile, sat down on a chair and pulled out her scroll, intending to read the latest news article from the Daily Planet.
"Another interview with Superman to talk about climate change…" Weiss mumbled in Vytalian. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Koriand'r give her a strange look, and Weiss realized why the alien girl might be confused. "Sorry, force of habit."
"Don't be," Koriand'r insisted. "Tell me, was that your native language?"
"Yes, actually. Vytalian," Weiss clarified. "It was Remnant's equivalent of English and the most widely used language around the world."
"Most fascinating! Oh, I love the learning of languages!" Koriand'r exclaimed, sitting down in a chair next to hers. Weiss chuckled, then remembered something from when they first arrived at the Watchtower.
"By the way, Kori, that reminds me. When we first arrived on Earth, none of us could speak English."
"Oh yes, I heard of that. It must have been most confusing."
"It was. Took almost a week to learn English, and that was only helped by J'onn's mental prodding."
M'gann perked up at the mention of her uncle, but soon went back to relaxing next to her brother, acting as his partner in Smash against the highly engaged team of Jaune and Victor.
"But, before they settled on that, I remember that they mentioned you by name," Weiss continued, and Koriand'r looked confused.
"Me? Why would—" she paused, then her eyes widened in realization. "Oh, yes! I know why. Tamaraneans can learn languages almost instantaneously through contact with another."
"That is certainly useful. Wonder why they didn't ask you up…?" Weiss wondered. Koriand'r prepared to answer, only for Weiss to shake it off. "You know what, now I'm curious."
"You are?" Koriand'r asked, slightly confused.
"Yes, actually. In fact, you can learn Vytalian from me."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. Right now, if you want," Weiss insisted, not understanding why Kori appeared to be so surprised. The Tamaranean thought it over for a moment, then smiled and nodded.
"Okay, only if you insist," Koriand'r stated. "I will not do anything without your permission."
"Kori, you have my permission." Weiss was starting to get a little irritated now, but luckily Koriand'r finally seemed to get the message as she got up from her chair and made her way over. Nodding to herself, Weiss remained seated as she turned to face the Tamaranean.
"So, how exactly does this work?" Weiss asked, rising to her feet once Koriand'r got close, who then placed her hands on Weiss' face. "Oh, I see! It works on physical—"
Weiss didn't get the chance to finish her sentence as Koriand'r suddenly kissed Weiss fully on the lips. The world around her drowned out as activities ground to a halt. Vaguely, she thought she heard the clattering of plates and several gasps from all around. Then, almost as soon as it began, the kiss was over and Koriand'r parted from Weiss.
"Tamaraneans learn other languages through kissing," Koriand'r revealed in perfect Vytalian. Only now did Weiss see the shocked and surprised looks on everyone, but for the life of her Weiss couldn't find it in her to truly react.
"…I see," Weiss finally got out, only now understanding why the League decided against asking her up. Having a complete stranger kiss a highly traumatized teenager in an alien environment without any explanation would not have gone over well. Part of Weiss thought she should be offended, but most of her was just too surprised to really react. Same with the others, for that matter. Even the usually energetic Nora, who didn't even try to pick up the scattered pancakes around her feet.
"Oh, you made pancakes! Most wonderful!" Koriand'r immediately flipped a switch back into English, happily floating towards the large tower waiting for her. "Oh, I can't wait to fill all of my nine stomachs!"
The others, meanwhile, didn't go for the pancakes. Instead their attention was divided between a paralyzed Weiss and Koriand'r, trying to figure out just how to respond. Finally, Ruby did and made her way towards her partner.
"Weiss? Weiss?!" Ruby tried to rouse her partner, but nothing seemed to register. "Oh gods, we're losing her! Quick, here's the Silkie! Hug the Silkie!"
Ruby desperately took Silkie and thrust it into Weiss' still face, all the while the happy alien slug squirmed in Ruby's hands and Koriand'r shoveled mustard-covered pancakes into her mouth.
Rise of the Emoticlones:
"Are you all ready?" Raven asked as teams RWBY and JNPR arranged themselves in a neat circle inside one of the rooms in the Watchtower.
"Yep," Ruby insisted, honestly excited. After all, who else can say that they were about to meet the literal embodiments of their emotions? Well, besides Raven and her friends, of course. Raven nodded, then sat cross-legged in the middle of the circle. She began to chant and float, then purple lines glowed from within the circle. A faint miasma billowed upwards, then Ruby felt a twist and pull as though she was being sucked into a vacuum. When the sensation finally stopped, she found herself inside a perfect replica of Beacon Academy floating on a giant rock, the space around it filled with silver stars.
"So, this is the inside of my mind. Seems big. I must be smart," Ruby noted with a hint of haughtiness.
"You know that the size of a mental landscape is not indicative of how smart a person is," she heard someone respond. To her slight surprise, however, the voice was her own, although one with a slightly haughty and prideful tone. Ruby turned around to see a white-cloaked version of herself, holding an enlarged scroll in hand and sitting on a chair. Ruby began to feel positively giddy, recognizing that this must be one of her Emoticlones.
"Hello!" Ruby greeted herself. The white Emoticlone looked at her for a moment, then shut the scroll off and nodded back.
"Greetings. I am your Knowledge," the white Emoticlone revealed.
"I thought knowledge was yellow?" Ruby pointed out, remembering Raven's Knowledge Emoticlone.
"For Raven, yes. However, when you think of being smart, you automatically think of Weiss. I reflect that," Knowledge explained. Ruby thought it over for a minute, then nodded.
"You know, that makes sense. You're a pretty smart person."
"I'm you. I only know what you know."
"Oooh… Right," Ruby intoned, then a moment of silence fell between them. "So, did you exist before I came in here or is this the first you've existed?"
"I honestly don't know the answer to whether or not I always existed within your mind or if I was merely borne from the revelations found inside Raven's mindscape."
Ruby could feel a headache spring up from all these existential questions and felt that the more she talked to Knowledge the worse it would get. Yet, at the same time, she felt excited, then noticed a door leading outside. With a smile on her face, she walked over to Knowledge and took her in hand.
"Come, white-me! Let us unravel the mysteries of my mind!" Ruby proclaimed.
"Indeed. I am curious as well," Knowledge stated, and a joyous Ruby began to skip towards the door. When she opened it, she found herself in the middle of the woods. Emerald pines grew high into the heavens, and scattered ruins dotted the landscape. Ruby recognized this place as the Emerald Forest, where she truly met the most important people in her life outside of her family. Where team RWBY and team JNPR were formed. A warm smile stretched across her face, and she breathed in deeply through her nose to smell the rich forest scents.
Ruby then heard the rustling of tree branches, and turned just as a yellow blur shot out towards her and tackled the young huntress to the ground.
"Eep!" Ruby shrieked in surprise, feeling a weight pressing down against her chest. She looked to see a yellow-cloaked Ruby standing above her, her boot pressing down against Ruby's body while the Emoticlone herself was triumphantly placing her hands on her hips and smiling wide for all the world to see.
"Yeah! I win!" Yellow Ruby declared while Knowledge Ruby sighed and shook her head.
"Would you please get off her, please?" the white Emoticlone asked, and Yellow Ruby grinned as she did so.
"Oh, lighten up, will 'ya? Where's the fun in being stuffy all the time?" Yellow asked just as another Emoticlone revealed herself. This one was wearing purple and her face was apologetic.
"Sorry," Purple Ruby said as she helped Ruby up.
"It's fine, no big deal," Ruby maintained, dusting herself off as she focused on the newcomers. Both the yellow and purple Emoticlones were looking at her, Yellow with a boisterous expression while purple looked as though she wanted to hide under a rock. Almost immediately, Ruby understood who they were.
"You," Ruby started, pointing towards the yellow Emoticlone, "must be Bravery."
"Yep!" Bravery declared, closing her eyes and giving the real Ruby a thumbs up. Ruby smiled and shook her head, then turned towards the skittish purple Emoticlone.
"And you must be my Timidity?" Ruby asked her, who shrunk back and nodded furiously.
"Yes! I'm sorry!" Timid apologized just as Bravery walked over and slapped her shoulder. Timid shrieked in surprise, then the next thing they knew she was high into a nearby tree, clutching a branch as tightly as she could.
"Come down, 'ya scaredy cat!" Bravery demanded while Ruby and Knowledge simply looked at her.
"…Should I feel offended for Blake? But wait, if I associate being smart with Weiss and bravery with Yang, why do I…?" Ruby asked herself, and Timidity apologized.
"I'm sorry!"
Ruby sighed while Knowledge walked over to her.
"Timidity also represents loneliness, guilt, and insecurity," Knowledge clarified. Ruby thought for a moment, then reluctantly nodded.
"Well, come on then! Let's find the others!" Ruby ordered. Bravery was out first, stepping side-by-side with Ruby with a kick in her step, while Knowledge and Timidity followed behind her. They continued through the woods, passing by more and more trees and ruins before eventually coming across a stone archway. For whatever reason that only made sense in the deep reaches of her mind, there was a door housed within it, and Ruby opened the door to reveal the pristine streets of Vale. There were no people or cars around, making it feel quite empty, but at the same time she wasn't entirely bothered by that.
"I wonder which one-OOF!" Ruby grunted as she walked face-first into something hard yet soft. There was a thud as Ruby stepped back, rubbing her nose to alleviate the pain, then began looking around for whatever she had walked into.
"What did…? Ruby asked herself, trying to find the Emoticlone, but saw nothing.
"Down here!" she heard a voice call out. Ruby looked down at her feet to see a green-cloaked Ruby laying on her back, looking up at them all with a wide smile. "Salutations! I am your Joy!"
"Yeah, I think she realized that, squirt," another, gruffer voice that was somehow still her own stated. Everyone's heads, even that of Joy's, turned towards the source to see a dark red-cloaked Ruby stumble out of a bar while holding a flask in her hand.
"Really, at this hour?" Knowledge chastised, but the dark-red Emoticlone merely rolled her eyes and took another drink. "Ugh, you brute."
"Don't care," Rudeness remarked, leaning against a building and continuing to drink from her flask. Ruby smiled and shook her head, recognizing her uncle's antics in her Rudeness Emoticlone just as she recognized Penny's in Joy. She then felt a pair of arms wrap tightly around her body, and Ruby looked to see a red, blue, and gold-cloaked Ruby embracing her.
"Hello," she greeted her, and Ruby laughed while embracing her in turn.
"You must be Love?"
"Indeed," Love remarked in a gentle, silky tone. Ruby immediately felt that this Emoticlone reminded her of Wonder Woman, which made sense to her. Although she had only known Diana for a few months, already she could see just how passionate and loving she was to everyone she met.
Ruby mentally tallied whom she'd met insider her mind thus far. All she was missing now, assuming the Emoticlones in her mind matched those of Raven's, were Rage and Sloth. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out anyone who would match those emotions. None of the people she'd met in her life were particularly angry all the time, and all of her friends and family were very hard-working people. Was she, herself, even particularly lazy? She didn't think she was, outside of a few cases where doing nothing just felt so good.
"Hmm, well we should probably find the last two," Ruby noted as she turned around to face the others. "Let's go—"
Ruby stopped as she was suddenly face to face with a black cloaked Ruby staring her down. She shrieked in fright and burst back in a cloud of petals, allowing her to get better look at the new Emoticlone. This one had an almost permanent scowl on her face, but what was most intriguing was the pair of pointed ears on top of her hood, which unlike the others was pulled up to shadow the upper half of her face.
"So…who are you?" Ruby asked, coming down from her fear-induced high.
"Anger," the black Emoticlone revealed simply.
"Ah." Ruby paused, then tilted her head. "I thought you'd be a lot more…explodey."
"Not everyone's anger is the same," Knowledge reasoned. "Perhaps she represents a more…righteous anger?"
"Is that why she looks like Batman?"
"I would assume so, yes."
"Ah. Neat."
Anger said nothing, instead staring Ruby down for a few more seconds before turning to walk away. Timid was hiding behind Bravery while Joy and Passion were giggling to themselves over their fellow Emoticlone's antics. Ruby chuckled to herself as well. Now that she thought about it, connecting Anger with Batman made a lot of sense. Then her thoughts drifted towards her final Emoticlone. What could she be? If her Anger was less Blind Rage and more Righteous Anger, did that necessarily mean that Sloth was her final Emotion? Come to think of it, could it possibly be something else entirely? As she ruminated in her thoughts, her eyes caught a glimpse of something flying towards them. Ruby turned towards it, and to her surprise saw a red-and-blue Emoticlone flying gracefully towards them. Unlike the others, Ruby understood exactly what this Emoticlone was supposed to represent, and a soft smile graced across her lips.
"Who's that?" Bravery asked, placing her hands above her eyes to block out the sun as the figure hovered above them.
"Hope," Ruby revealed as the red-and-blue cloaked Ruby smiled down on them. "She's Hope."
Hope said nothing, only nodding in affirmation. Ruby knew exactly who this Emoticlone was evocative of. After all, even after only knowing him for little over two months, she could honestly say that Superman embodied everything that Hope was supposed to be.
How the Joker Stole Christmas
The Joker scowled down towards Gotham City from the top of Amusement Mile. His arms were crossed, his brow furrowed, and he was entrapped in such a foul mood that none of his goons felt brave enough to even go near him. The last thing they wanted was to be subjected to his wrath. Except for Harley, that is, who seemed obvious to it.
"Merry Christmas, Mistah J!" Harley Quinn announced as she walked onto the balcony, wearing a green and red Santa costume that exposed her arms and legs to the frigid Gotham air. Atop her head was a pair of four-pointed antlers, each one lit like a candlestick. Without turning to face her, Joker's scowl deepened, and he placed his white-gloved hands on the railing.
"Merry?" he rhetorically asked, leaning forward. "Harley, there's nothing merry about this entire thing!"
"What do 'ya mean?" Harley innocently asked, tilting her head.
"I mean, look at them!" Joker thrust his arm towards the city in emphasis. Harley did so, and her ears soon began to pick up the faint sounds of singing and caroling.
"Oh, that's nice," she cooed, but Joker shook his head violently.
"No, it's not!" Joker insisted. "While they're all down there, acting 'merry' with that stupid Christmas cheer, they're completely ignoring the fact that I've broken out of Arkham!"
"You mean, you're mad they're not paying attention to you?" Harley asked, not honestly seeing where her lover was coming from.
"Yes!" Joker shouted whipping around to finally look at Harley. "It's infur- Harley, what are you wearing?"
"Oh, this?" Harley gestured to herself with a beaming smile, happy that the Joker finally noticed. She picked it out partially for him, after all. "Ya see, my mom was Catholic, and my dad was Jewish. So, we celebrated both Christmas and Hanukah!"
Joker narrowed his eyes. A biting comment was on the tip of his tongue, but when he heard a fresh round of caroling, he sighed and turned away.
"Ugh, I just can't today. Not on Christmas Eve," he said, glaring at Gotham once again and missing Harley Quinn's disappointed frown.
"You know, Mistah J, you're acting like a real Grinch right now," Harley remarked. As her words registered in Joker's head, he got an idea. An awful idea. The Joker got a wonderful, awful idea.
"You're right, Harley," the Joker replied, sending Harley aback slightly.
"I am?" she asked, not used to hearing him say that. Joker then turned his head towards Harley and smiled, baring his yellow teeth to the world.
"Yes. I am being a Grinch right now, and now I know just what to do."
"…Why do I feel like I'm not going to like where this is going?"
Harley was right. She didn't like where this was going. Not one bit, as the Joker took her critique to heart and decided to fully become a Grinch. The Clown Prince of Crime was wearing a freshly made (by her, of course) Santa Claus costume, complete with red and white suit, hat, and a thick, bushy, white beard. Still wearing her Hanukah-Christmas outfit, Joker placed a big red nose on her own to make her look more like a reindeer. For a moment, when the Joker brought out an actual sleigh, Harley was worried he'd make her pull the thing. But, luckily, the Joker wasn't willing to go that far. Mostly because time was of the essence. He did make her drive it, though.
"Let's go, dear Harley, and stop Christmas from coming!"
Harley almost didn't want to ask, but she felt she had to at the same time. "How are we gonna do that, Mistah J?"
"Why I'll steal it, of course! Their presents, decorations, food and all!" Joker gleefully announced. "I'll show them to forget about me, even for one night!"
"…Alright, puddin', if you say so," Harley said. She started the sleigh's engines, which to her slight surprise made a jingle-like sound that masked the engine's roar. Amusement Mile's garage door opened, and then both supervillains were off. With all the Gothamites nestled all snug in their beds, the streets were remarkably clean of anyone to stand in Joker's way. He stopped at the first house, standing upright on his sleigh's seat, and quickly scaled the fire escape to the chimney top.
"Hmm," Joker said as he stared down the small chimney. "Well, if fat old Saint Nick can do it, then so can I!"
With that declaration, Joker inserted himself into the chimney and scaled down. When he emerged through the fireplace, he was greeted by a well-decorated room filled with gaudy Christmas cheer. A great, big Christmas tree, covered in shiny ornaments glistened in the moonlight, while wreaths and garlands lined the walls. Presents, both big and small, sat under the tree, and sitting quietly on top of a small table was a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk. Joker quietly cackled to himself, rubbing his hands together, then pulled out a large sack.
As quickly as he could, the Joker stuffed the presents away. He stuffed the garlands and the wreaths, the lights and even the trees. Before long, the entire room was completely empty, leaving only traces of the decorations that once remained. Joker laughed hysterically as he ate all the cookies and drank the milk, then went back up the chimney with his spoils in tow, and once he was back on top of the roof he threw the bag onto the back of his sleigh. Harley, exasperated more than anything, carefully loaded them into the back, then waited as Joker made his way back down to the sleigh.
"Onward, Harley! To the next house!"
For the rest of the night, until the wee hours of the morning, the Joker and Harley Quinn broke into each and every apartment and abode in Gotham City. Every business, office and more was stripped bare of anything relating to Christmas or holiday cheer. There was only one house left, the grand Wayne Manor on the outskirts of town, and Joker couldn't help but laugh to himself while rubbing his hands. Harley, meanwhile, could only eye the absolute mountain of stolen goods piled in the back of the sleigh warily, worried that a single breeze or bump in the road would send it all crashing down. She also didn't know how, exactly, they managed to rob every single home and business in Gotham in one night, but at this point she was too afraid to ask.
Once they were parked, Joker quickly scaled Wayne Manor and shimmied down the chimney. As with all the other homes, Wayne Manor was completely filled with Christmas decorations, only these were far more expensive. Joker was half inclined to simply rob the place normally, but he shook his head and stopped himself. This wasn't for money, it was to send a message. He'd rob this place later.
The presents went first, followed by the lights, wreaths, and garlands. Joker tiptoed through the manor, stealing everything he could see that reminded him of Christmas.
'Jeez, I should've guessed a rich guy like Bruce Wayne would go all in on Christmas. A lot of bats, though, which is weird. Richie Rich too lazy to take down his Halloween decorations?' Joker thought to himself as he finished his dastardly work. All that was left now was the Christmas tree, which was the largest he'd seen all night.
"Alright, up you go," Joker said as he lifted the tree off its base and tried to stuff it up the chimney. The tree was so large that Joker was having some issue, and he grunted and puffed out his cheeks as he tried to finish the job. So consumed by his work, that he didn't hear the faint sound of a door being opened, and a pair of small feet walking down the stairs until it was too late.
"Santa?" Joker stopped as a young girl's voice called out to him. He turned around fast, and he saw a young girl. Little Ruby Rose, who was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
"Santa Claus, why?" Ruby asked innocently. "Why are you taking our Christmas tree, why?"
Joker began to panic, but since he was so smart and so slick, he thought of a lie real quick.
"Why, my sweet little tot," Joker lied, "there's a light on this tree that just won't light on one side. So, I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. So, I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here."
"You do that?" Ruby asked. "I hadn't heard that. Although, I haven't been here for long, so maybe I just didn't get to that part yet. Okay, then."
Having fooled the child, Joker patted her head, then got her a drink then sent her to bed. When she was out of sight, Joker sighed to himself and walked back to the tree.
"Cute kid," he muttered. "Dumb, but cute."
With that, Joker grabbed hold of the tree one last time, then finally inserted it into the chimney with him following suit.
The Joker laughed at his mountain of Christmas cheer now laying sprawled across the floor of his lair. His goons laughed alongside him, while Harley Quinn merely sat disappointed in a chair across the room. Not that he stole the presents, but that he simply wasn't paying attention to her again.
"I must say, I think I've outdone myself this time, boys!" Joker announced to the roar of approval from his goons. "Now, let's see just what all we've got here."
Hopping down from atop his sleigh, Joker grabbed a present and began to open it.
"Ugh, socks? How boring are socks as a gift? I feel sorry whoever 'Jim' is." Joker threw the box away, then opened another. "Ooh, a gift certificate! What a perfectly unimaginative gift that someone probably won't use."
As the sun began to rise, Joker continued to open each and every gift he could find. He saw toys and games, books and another lames. Above all, he was finding the stolen gifts to be quite disappointing if not boring. Where was the imagination? And what was with all the clothes and piles of money? Especially the money. No thought went into that, in his eyes.
"Well, now this is interesting," Joker announced as he ripped the wrapping paper off of a particularly large box with one side covered in clear plastic. "Someone got someone else a life-sized statue of Batman. That was thoughtful."
"Who's it for, boss?" a goon asked. Joker turned his back to the gift and reached for the discarded wrapping paper, searching it for names.
"Ah, here it is," Joker announced. "It says, 'To: The Joker.' Well, that's peculiar. Who would've…?"
Joker stopped, the hairs on the back of his head standing on end as his eyes widened in realization.
"Ooh," Joker said just as the head of the Batman statue turned to face him. The Clown Prince of Crime couldn't even react as the apparent statue sprang to life, erupting out of the box, and grabbed Joker by the neck,
"Hey, Bats," Joker replied as Batman bored his white eyes into Joker's vibrant green. "Merry Christmas!"
"I can't believe that worked," Weiss muttered to herself as she watched the spectacle before her.
"Believe it, bestie!" Ruby announced proudly, happy that the plan she concocted with Batman worked perfectly.
"More importantly, I can't believe you fell for the Joker's disguise," Weiss chastised with a narrow glare. Ruby, meanwhile, met Weiss' gaze with her own and smiled knowingly.
"Did I, though? Did I?" Ruby asked. Weiss moved to respond, only to pause and hum to herself. As she brought her hand to her chin and looked away, deep in thought, Ruby pumped her fist in victory and did a little celebratory dance. The others watched in silence as everyone in Gotham lined up to get their presents back from a heavily bruised and beaten Joker, Batman and Commissioner Gordon standing beside him to keep careful watch. Harley, at least, was giddy about the entire thing, even with a rather large black eye. She was even wearing a custom-made elf costume.
"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Harley announced before pulling out another set of presents to give to the next person in line. Joker said nothing, but he felt Batman and Gordon's mutual glares, and scowled petulantly.
"Merry Christmas," he grumbled, and Batman lightly smiled.
[~][~]
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Selection: Analysis on Remnantians: Analysis on Remnantians:
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Name: Yang Xiao Long
Age: 18
Species: Remnantian
Alias: Golden Dragon
Equipment: Ember Celica, a pair of 12-gauge shotgun gauntlets capable of collapsing into bracelets for concealment and maneuverability. She uses these gauntlets to both fire at short to medium range as well as enhance the strength of her punches, usually in conjunction with various types of Dust. With both teams RWBY and JNPR's Dust stores having been rendered inert during transit to Earth, Yang has begun to modify Ember Celica to compensate. Improvement process is ongoing, but currently includes the addition of a slug-round functionality, micro-rocket launcher, and integrated grappling claws.
Semblance: Damage Absorption – Yang can absorb the damage to her body from her opponents, with the energy stored within her Aura for later use. At a moment of her choosing, Yang can then add that energy to her own physical blows, greatly enhancing her strength. She does feel the blow's effects, however, as her Aura does not nullify the pain the attack would have otherwise inflict. Nor does it work while she is asleep or otherwise unconscious. (Note: Yang has personally referred to her Semblance as "Rage", however given its effects, I felt that "Damage Absorption" was the more accurate terminology)
Bio: The first born daughter to Taiyang Xiao Long and Raven Branwen, two members of the illustrious team STRQ, which included Yang's uncle, Qrow Branwen, and Ruby's mother/team leader, Summer Rose. Shortly after the team's graduation from Beacon Academy, Taiyang and Raven got married, at which time Yang was conceived and eventually born. However, shortly after this event and for currently unknown reasons, Raven Branwen left her fledgling family to return to the Branwen Tribe, a group of bandits operating in the kingdom of Mistral (revealed to Yang during the final stages of the Fall of Remnant). This event nearly broke Taiyang, until Summer Rose stepped in to pick up the pieces, which led to Ruby being born.
For much of her early life, Yang saw Summer as her biological mother, until her death, at which point the truth was revealed. Determined to get answers, Yang began setting off to find Raven. On the first of these excursions, a young Yang and Ruby were attacked by creatures of Grimm, but were luckily saved by Qrow Branwen, who had been following them the entire time. This event shaped Yang, leading to her eventual decision to follow in her father's and uncle's footsteps to become a Huntress, both to explore the world and help people along the way. At the same time, she never ceased her search for Raven Branwen, attempting to gain answers as to why she and her father were abandoned all those years before.
Strengths:
Physical Strength and Durability: Yang is, by far, the strongest individual member of teams RWBY and JNPR. Her current bench press record is 22-tons, and her Aura is large enough to absorb the impact of being thrown through a concrete pillar as well as surviving an impact at terminal velocity.
Emotional Intelligence: Yang's ability to read her teammate's emotions is extremely adept, especially for an individual at her age. Her boisterous and outgoing personality masks a level of maturity the others don't always exhibit and has proven to be a nurturing influence towards others, especially towards her younger half-sister, Ruby.
Unarmed Combat: Yang's unarmed combat is the best among her peers, which is a natural byproduct of her fighting style. Her primary style is akin to Earth boxing and kick boxing mixed with wrestling, muay thai, and karate, but after arriving on Earth, she has begun to incorporate other various martial arts. These include krav maga, judo, and taekwondo.
Cunning: Yang is capable of a surprising amount of deception towards her opponents, capable of luring them into a position that best advantages her. This was best exemplified during her fight against Oswald Cobblepot's men and Bane, in which she purposefully kept her Semblance a secret in order to bait Bane into letting his guard down while also storing the energy accumulated from her opponents. This allowed her to ultimately defeat Bane.
Weaknesses:
Anger: Yang is, unfortunately, a hot-blooded individual. While this anger can and has resulted in bursts of increased strength, it has also led to rash decision making and predictable actions. Should an opponent manage to rile her up and she lets her temper take control, her behavior becomes stubborn and predicable.
Semblance Limitations: As mentioned before, Yang's Semblance does not reduce the pain or damage she takes, nor does it decrease the amount of Aura lost in absorbing said damage. Also, her Semblance is akin to a one-shot weapon. Should she miss, all of the energy is expelled, which would force her to have to reaccumulate. If she had lost enough Aura beforehand, this could leave her at a severe disadvantage.
Abandonment Issues: Yang has long-stemming abandonment issues, pertaining back to when her mother abandoned her as a newborn infant, and further compounded by the death of Summer Rose and her father's depression, and more recently by Brainiac's destruction of Remnant. She is terrified of losing the people she loves, or more accurately them leaving her behind. This often results in lashes of anger, which can reduce her combat effectiveness and decision making.
Long Range Combat: Although Yang's CQB is second-to-none among her teammates, her long-range options leave much to be desired. Enemies armed with sniper rifles, marksman rifles, or any other long-range weapon could theoretically whittle her Aura down before she ever got the chance to close the distance. Fast, airborne enemies are particularly challenging for her to combat directly.
Areas for Training:
Long-Range Combat Enhancement: In order to cover all potential areas of confrontation, Yang needs to improve upon her long-range capabilities. This can take a variety of forms, such as a secondary weapon, various gadgets, or a combination thereof.
Anger Management: Yang needs to be able to control her anger before it causes her to make a costly decision. Further sessions with M'gann M'orzz or any other League-affiliated specialist should suffice.
Martial Arts Training: Should continue to teach Yang more Earth-based martial arts, both furthering her understanding of what she already knows as well as expanding her repertoire of known techniques.
Semblance Limitation Countermeasures: Combination of both Semblance Training as well as Limitation Mitigation. Training can include learning to channel smaller amounts of absorbed damage into lesser-but-frequent counterattacks, opportune moment recognition, and when to dodge or absorb. Mitigation can include enhancements to super-suit armor systems, such as an impact-absorbing gel layer, impact dispersing microfilaments, and more. Further study of the dynamics her Semblance operates under may be necessary.
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Strategy for Subdual:
Should Yang Xiao Long be placed under mind-control or otherwise forced into opposition against the League, priority should be to engage her at long range. Her ability to fight far-away opponents is limited by her weapons and fighting style, and should one keep her away long enough to whittle her Aura down, she should soon follow. As with the other Remnantians, removing her Aura remains a top priority.
Should she manage to close the distance however, strong and heavy blows will only increase her Semblance's power. Instead, CQB should focus on light, fast attacks punctuated by dodging her own blows. Yang has experienced difficulty in fighting opponents faster than her, such a fight against Neo Politan, a mute associate of the Valean gangster, Roman Torchwick, onboard a train. Neo managed to dodge Yang's attacks while countering with her own, which eventually whittled Yang's Aura down completely and knocked her out. Had Yang's mother (suspected, not confirmed) not intervened at that time, Yang would have died.
Still, a fight against Yang carries significant probability of several of her attacks managing to land. As such, enhancements must be made to the Batsuit's impact absorption. Addition of a gel-layer should suffice, as well as padding along the joints to prevent damage. Armor component of Project: HUNTER-BAT still underway, and addition of internal servos to increase strength to match Aura's natural strength enhancement should increase odds of success.
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Happy Holidays, everyone! And a Happy New Year as well! Special thanks to Jesse K and NaanContributor for their help bringing this to life. We wanted to spread a little holiday cheer to you all, as well as give you guys some Chibi and Batcomputer files that were already posted on the Spacebattles thread. We hope you guys enjoy.
Also, I want to clarify this. The 'Lost Opportunities' omake is completely, 100% canon to the actual story. They were jokes I wanted to tell in the story proper, but I couldn't due to story constraints. The 'How the Joker Stole Christmas' omake was also the 2019 Christmas special.
Now, onto the Q&A:
RandomName3064: Yep, Ruby being liked at WayneTech was inevitable. Also, just to clarify, Wayne Enterprises doesn't make weapons. They're not part of the military-industrial complex, like LexCorp is. Yeah, Jason and Bruce's reactions were hilarious to us. As for death, I'm just going to say this. Death shouldn't be something that gets tossed around all willy nilly. It should serve a purpose, whether it be character related, plot related, or a mixture of the two. I'm not going to kill someone just because. It has to serve a broader point.
Vein Bloodborne: Yep, they've remade their weapons using the new stuff they have access to. Especially with Ruby, who was already an engineering prodigy. She made Crescent Rose at a school. Give her unlimited funds and access to exotic materials native to the broader DC Universe? You're going to get miracles of engineering. Hence why the head engineer at WayneTech wanted to hire her after about two hours of being with her.
Game2002: Don't worry, the Batman arc is coming to a close real soon. I'll be shifting focus to other heroes and their rogues galleries afterwards.
Knight of Fate: Yeah, that was a bit of an inspiration there. Plus, I really like the idea of Jaune having an elemental blade. It seems cool for him to have.
Steelrain66: I might touch upon the paintball tournament later, but like the Lost Opportunities omake earlier. And yeah, Lois is the best reporter in DC Comics for a reason. We wanted to show that, plus I love her character. She's a lot of fun to write for. I'm glad you liked Crescent Rose Mk II and Crocea Mors Mk II. We really liked how they came out, as well. As for Jaune getting a gun, he might in the future. It just wasn't in the cards for now.
Jackalope89: Yep, things are about to get interesting. I think you're going to like what comes next.
I Am The Prophet: Yeah, that was typical Ruby. We felt that was how she'd react to getting hired. You'll see what the 'incident' was in a later chapter, as well.
edinosaur25: Yep, Lucius is a cool dude. I honestly didn't know that he had two daughters, but whether or not I'll incorporate them into the story, you'll have to wait and see.
D. : You'll have to see how the Dust research goes. At the very least, we felt it was something Wayne Enterprises would do.
SulliMike23: My mistake. And yeah, Weiss would learn about how to ethically run a business. It'll be good for her.
Jacob9594: Yes, that was a reference to RWBY Chibi. We felt it was appropriate.