This story was accidently deleted, now I'm reposting it. I wrote it a few years ago. This Chapter has been (revised.)
I realize that I really like this fic and I'm going to update it There were some minor things I needed to change and a few lines I needed to add.
(Revised Chap) Ihave finally written my first chapter to my first Rouroni Kenshin fic. This is my first try at writing a Kenshin fic. I hope my other readers of my SM fic will like this one to. To my other readers I'm trying not to neglect any of my stories. . All will be finished. Now that you've gotten through all my first read on. I hope this chapter is not to long.
The most vivid memories I have from the old days at the big house was mother, and being a spoiled, selfish child. My mother was the third wife of my father. I rarely saw my father except on special occasions like birthdays and parties.
My childhood was lonely one in a world full of luxuries and grandeur. For most of my early years my mother was my only companion, and I believe now that there had been no other choice in the matter.
Fate decided a change had to be made in me in order for me to survive. This rebirth cost me the one entity I loved most. I've long sense realized that I could not argue with destiny and so I'll begin one morning out of many mornings that were almost always the same.
It must have been long before dawn and mother wasn't awake yet. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked crossly at her sleeping form. Her long black hair fell around her like a silk curtain. I pursed my lips and began to shake her ferociously.
"Wake up! Wake up!" I said nearly pushing her from the bed. Her hair covered the pillows like a black blanket. Yanking her hair I meant to awaken her. The strands slipped through my fingers as smoother than any silk could ever have been.
Mother woke with a start. "Mmm Kaoru aka it's too early yet." She said, but I could already see her preparing to get up.
"I want to eat." I said pulling the covers back and swinging my feet over the side of the bed. My mother said nothing. She only pulled the covers back and slipped out of bed. I waited for her, with my arms out in front of me. She walked over to my side of the bed and picked me up.
Even at six years of age I refused to walk on my own. I could walk, but I cried and fussed every time I had to, so mother carried me. With me in her arms she walked to the armoire in our room and opened it. "What do you want to eat Koaru aka?" she said looking at me and smiling.
"That." I said pointing to biscuits that I can no longer remember the name of. After eating, I would wait for her to dress me. I was like a small china doll that she dressed and pampered.
She always dressed me in red kimonos. The fabric was always made of the softest silk and boldly decorated with colorful flowers, almost always cherry blossoms and quinces, which were her favorite.
I never paid much attention to them. After all it was just ordinary clothing I assumed everyone wore. I had no knowledge of poverty and of ranks in society. All these luxuries were normal to me.
My favorite part of being dressing was when my mother would sit me in front of her dresser so that I could look at myself in the mirror as she brushed my hair. "Don't pull my hair!" I'd snap every time she snagged a strand. She would only smile at me, and continue to brush.
"Kaoru aka." she whispered, "Never cut your hair. It is a rare thing in nature to have such beautiful black hair. This is your legacy." She would look at me in the mirror while she whispered the words in my ear.
She spoke those words to me every day. In irritation I pulled my head away from her brush and ruffle it.
"It's normal hair." I said. But then I would look into the mirror at the long inky black hair that showed tints of blue when hit by the light. Momma said nothing. She would laugh, and start to brush my hair all over again.
While she brushed she always sang this one song, "I dare as you dare, life share and together bear. As the sakura blooms so do we. As it dies even me. Its short life floats in the wind ours follows to, because I dare so do you." Those words I thought I would remember forever. The melody was so sad and sweet, and sometimes she cried as she sang it.
"Mother, where did you learn that song?" I asked when she'd brush my hair. Her answer was always the same. "If ever you hear that song my darling Kaoru, know that you have found a great treasure." "That's not an answer!" I'd huff.
Mother never bound my feet like she did hers. I always wore dainty red slippers, even when she carried me. I remember screaming one morning when I saw the curled little toes of feet that were at least four sizes smaller than they would normally be had they been allowed to grow properly.
I had slapped her away when she'd tried to comfort me. Only when she'd slipped back on her shoes had I allowed her to touch me. Because of me, she always kept them covered.
"We are going to see your father today." she said hoisting me up on her slim hips. I traced the thin black brows on her face. "Why must we? I hate him." I said. "Ssh Kaoru aka never speak of your father like that." She reprimanded softly.
Mother opened the door of our room and walked out into the hall. Immediately we were engulfed into a world of fine China and gold covered finery. I paid no attention to any of it. My mind was on the prospect of meeting the man I was to call Papa.
A door opened at the end of the hall and along with the sweet scent of rose water came one of the house maids Ryoko followed by my second mother, my father's first wife Lady Kyo.
I immediately looked away pretending not to see her. I did not like her, and I knew she did not like me…or my mother.
"Good morning Lady Kyo." mother said bowing with me in her arms. Second mother acknowledged her with a sniff in the air, her red painted lips tilted slightly upwards. Second mother's face was one of great beauty matched only by that of my mothers'.
Without looking I saw the expression of envy and ill disguised hatred on her flawless features. What she longed for most and envied more than anything was what my mother seemed to possess.
Second mother could bare no children. She also harbored in her the knowledge that of all three of my father's wives, Sakura, my mother, was his favorite, his delicate butterfly.
I could feel her eyes on me waiting for me to say something. I deliberately ignored her. "Kaoru aka," mother whispered in my ear "Go and speak to your mother." she said.
I placed my lips close to her ear, and looked from the corner of my eyes at my father's first wife. "She's not my mother. I can't call her mother." I whispered just loud enough for Lady Kyo to hear.
I saw the quiet rage rise in my second mother's eyes. "Will you not tell me good morning Kaoru?" she asked disguising her anger with a smile. "Kaoru aka," mother whispered smiling "Do you love me?"
"Yes." I said.
"Then go and tell your mother good morning." she said. She then set me on the ground, and pushed me forward gently. I walked towards my second mother.
Her cold black eyes starred into mine, but I refused to back down. I stared right back. When I was in front of her, she arched her brow and bent so that I could kiss her cheek.
"Good morning Lady Kyo." I said quickly with out kissing her, then turned and ran back to my mothers arms. Mother picked me up, and for a moment Lady Kyo and my mother stared at each other.
Something passed between them, but I was too young to see it. Second mother broke the trance first and harshly called Ryoko after her as she went down the stairs.
When she was gone mother turned to look at me. "Kaoru aka, why did you not call Lady Kyo second mother?"
I looked at her and wrapped my arms around her neck. "Because she's not my mother, you are." I said.
"Mmm" mother said thoughtfully and proceeded on her way to my father's room. Little did I know how much my spoiled ways cost my mother, but she never reprimanded me.
In the dark room that was my father's, sat the mysterious figure, that I called papa. He turned when he heard us enter. When he saw my mother his face seemed to light up. He smiled brightly. Mother bowed with me still in her arms. "My Lord" she greeting him.
"Sakura," he said not taking his eyes from her. Then his blue eyes turned to me, and my heart jumped. My own eyes stared back at me. "Hello Kaoru." he said.
"Hello papa." I said so low it sounded like a whisper to my own ears. He began to walk towards us and my gripped tightened around my mother. She smiled down at me and hoisted me higher on her hips.
I prayed that he would stay back and not cross into the world of my mother and I. I had not seen him for months and the sense of being attacked by a stranger was overwhelming.
I think he reached for me, but I was suddenly in his arms. I can't remember what he smelled like, but I remember thinking at that moment that I might cry were it not for my young pride. I tightened my arms around him and let him hold me.
After a few minutes of whispers in ears and touching of my mother's hair and face, the distant stranger returned, and I was sent outside the room to the gardens.
I believe the house must have been at least three levels, because it seemed like an eternity before my week legs reached the bottom of the winding staircase. I cried and repeated how much I hated my father for not letting my mother carry me down.
I was sure to avoid the room where I knew second mother would be. I crept past the kitchen not wanting any maids or servants to see me.
I didn't want to be bothered with them. I was still crying when I reached the gardens. I would have probably gone into a tantrum, had it not been the sight of my third mother sitting near a pond.
She turned to look at me and smiled. She was not very pretty, but there was something about her that everyone liked. She was always smiling, as if she knew secrets that were kept only by her.
Even at six I knew there was something different about her. I had heard the servants talking of her eccentric ways, and the odd things she did, but I still did not really know her. I hardly ever spoke to her unless mother told me to.
I ignored her, and walked towards the opposite side of the pond. I could feel her eyes on me, as I sat on the edge of the pond. I starred mildly interested, at the colorful carps swimming around in the water.
I could feel her eyes still on me. I looked up defiantly. She winked at me, and I turned my body away from her. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that she was holding something over the pond. It was a gold coin. I tried not to be interested, but there was something about her that could not be ignored.
I turned my head a little, so that I could see what she was doing. On the surface of the pond she spun the coin, with a twist of her fingers. Before it could sink she quickly snatched it up. The movement was so fast that the dent the coin had left on the surface of the water was still visible.
I turned my body a little more, becoming more interested. From her pocket she brought out two more coins. She looked up, and I quickly looked down into the water, pretending to be very interested in the fish. I peaked up at her again, she then spun the three coins together in one swift flick of her fingers.
I held my breath in amazement, as I watched her hands work, catching and spinning so fast the coins became a blur of gold orbs and streaks. My eyes widened as I watched the small coins spin so fast that they formed golden spheres over the water.
Even the carps had stopped to watch the show. From somewhere beneath her kimono she had retrieved two more coins and was now effortlessly spinning them all at the same time.
The bright light coming through the trees reflected on the coins making them look like spinning gold balls that emitted golden light. The whole while her fingers moved in a blur, not letting one coin slip to the bottom. I stared in a trance.
"Kaoru?" the sound of my mother's voice broke through my trance, and I turned my head towards the entrance of the garden.
My mother stood her pale cheeks flushed silhouetted by the light streaming down on her. I looked back to see that all the coins were now in my third mother's hands.
She looked at me with that same mysterious smile on her face. I looked from her slim face down to the bulging region of her stomach. Soon I would have my first sibling. I turned back to my mother, and ran to her. She pulled me up into her arms and I clung to her.
Five months later my brother Yahiko was born to Kizume Kamaya, my third mother. From the moment I first saw him in my third mother's arms, I knew that I had wanted him more than anything. His brown eyes starred up at me, and I loved him.
My father was away on business as usual, and my mother and I were in third mother's room. Mother and third mother were talking and laughing, and I was happy, because my mother had a friend. The baby lay asleep in Lady Kizume's arms.
"Kaoru," mother said calling me to her. I came to her and sat on her lap. "What do you think of your new brother?" she asked.
I studied the small person lying in my third mother's arms. "I like him." I said finally. Mother laughed and kissed my cheek. "Kaoru, you must call Lady Kizume mama from now on okay?"
I looked at third mother who only stared at me with that same smile. "Why?" I asked.
" Because she is my sister and your mother also." I did not understand. "I won't call you mama." I told Lady Kizume.
Third mother's smile widened. "Third mother would be fine then." she said looking at my mother. I reached out to stroke the baby's cheek.
Two weeks later. I woke up and shook mother to wake her. I was hungry. "Mother wake up! I'm hungry!" I said using my foot to nudge her. She didn't move. I sighed heavily and straddled her so that I could turn her over.
We played a game sometimes where she would pretend she was asleep, but the smile that crept to her lips always gave her away. I put her face between my hands.
Her flesh was cool to the touch. I studied her mouth closely waiting for that tell tale smile, but it never came. I could not feel her warm breath against my fingers, and I grew worried.
"Mother" I said cautiously touching her lips. They were cool and dry. My head began to spin. "Mother stop it!" I said shaking her. Her head bobbed lifelessly.
I slapped her "I won't ever speak to you again!" I threatened. That always made her open her eyes. "Mother!" I said the fear growing in me.
Finally I jumped off the bed and ran to the first person I could think off. I burst into my third mother's room and jumped on her bed. She woke with a start. "She won't wake up!" I blurted my eyes wide with fear. "Who Kaoru aka?" she asked looking over to the crib where my baby brother slept.
"My mother! She won't wake up!" Lady Kizume's eyes widened in realization. "Wait here Kaoru aka." she said slipping out of bed. She put on her slippers and rushed outside of the room. I jumped off the bed and followed her as quietly as I could.
I was right behind her when she entered my mother's bed chamber. I stared in confusion as I watched my first mother bending over my mother's life less body. In her left hand she held a pair of shears and in her right she held glistening locks of black hair.
Before my Lady Kizume could say anything, I flew into the room. "Stay away! She hates you! Don't you dare cut her hair!" First mother turned and stared at me in shock. I ran to hit her or do something, but before I could move more than two steps I was seized into the strong arms of my third mother.
I went into a tantrum and began to kick and scream. "Give it back! You have no right! You've always been jealous of her pretty hair, because yours is ugly! Give it back!" I began to cry. Not more than seconds later the servants began to come to see what all the commotion was about.
For two weeks after the burial of my mother I refused to eat anything. Every meal was a struggle to get me to eat. The servants and maids fussed over me some even crying and saying that I was being possessed by my mother's ghost.
Everyone worried, except for the one person who I now belonged to, my third mother, Lady Kizume. The truth was that I had never eaten anything that wasn't given to me by my mother.
I began to eat however, when I realized that Lady Kizume, was not going to cry or worry over me starving myself. "She'll eat when she gets hungry enough." she'd say. I'd go into a tantrum and refuse to speak to her. She'd ignore me completely and I'd finally yell myself into sleep.
The funeral was the last time I'd see my father for several months. I avoided lady Kyo at all costs. There was a new look in her eyes when she looked at me that sent chills up my spine. Even though I believed I hated my third mother, I stayed close to her whenever I was in the presence of Lady Kyo.
All my clothes were burned with my mothers belongings. I had put up a fight then to, in the end I had ended up with no tangible object that belonged to my mother. The only thing I had to remind me of her were the memories of her face, and the song that she'd always sang to me. Those things were my most precious possessions.
The taming of my spoiled nature began the second week after my mother's death. It was early morning, and I waited for third mother to lift me up and dress me like she'd been doing before, but this morning she ignored me and went to see after my brother.
I waited for half an hour with my arms up in the air, waiting for her to take off my night yukata. When she had finally finished what she had been doing she came to dress me. I waited for her to pick me up, but instead she told me to hurry and put on my slipper's so that we could go down to the gardens.
She lifted Yahiko in her arms and began to open the door. "But how will I get there? Aren't you going to carry me?" I asked still standing barefoot in the middle of the room.
She turned to look at me. "Is there something wrong with your legs?" she asked. "No." I said tightening my mouth into a thin line.
"Well then I suppose you will walk there." she smiled, then turned and walked out of the room. I became enraged. My mother had never talked to me like that! I sat down heavily in the middle of the floor and crossed my arms and legs. I refused to move.
I expected her to come back for me and lift me up, but I opened my eyes later to find that I was now lying in the middle of the floor and that the room was filled with the warm orange colors of the evening.
My anger dissipated and I began to cry. I pushed myself up on shaky legs, and went to where my old home had been. The room was completely empty, but her scent was there.
I curled myself into a ball, and lay on the floor in the place where our bed used to be. I quickly fell asleep. I was awakened by someone shouting my name. "Mother!" I woke up with a start. I saw in the doorway a woman in red. It had all been a bad dream.
When my vision cleared I realized that it was my third mother, not my real mother. I began to cry, and she ran to me and held me in her arms. Together we walked back to her room. Never again as a child would anyone carry me.
As the years passed I began to notice the strange things about Lady Kizume that the servants talked about. I had never forgotten the time when she had made the coins "dance" on the water.
I was ten and my third mother, and her friend were having tea. Yahiko was away on a shopping trip with first mother, which wasn't very rare. Mrs. Kyo stayed away from the house as much as possible.
Once again my father was away on business. I was bored with listening to their conversation about the "Battoussai", besides their whispered words made it very hard to over hear.
I began to fiddle with my tea cup, before I could stop it the small dainty cup of tea tipped over the edge of the table. I held my breath waiting for it to hit the floor. Third mother's hand reached out faster than I could see and caught the cup. She placed it gently back on the table, without spilling a drop.
I stared at her stunned. She was still busily talking to Ms. Mizuno. She hadn't even realized what she'd done. I looked at her suspiciously. I pushed the tea cup closer to the edge. She was still talking. I pushed it to the ledge of the table. She was still talking.
I then used my finger to push it off the table. Once again her hand caught it, without spilling a drop and placed it on the table. I thrill of excitement went through me. How could she do that? I wondered.
How did her hand move so fast? During the next few weeks I tried several experiments like dropping forks and saucers. All were caught with flawless grace and ease. One day I sat playing with Yahiko, and my favorite porcelain vase was by my side.
I had seen it at a vendor and had ordered Ryoko to buy it for me. It was decorated with cherry blossoms and quinces. Mother's favorite. Third mother was sitting beside me drawing a painting.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw her elbow move and my vase went tumbling over the edge. "Slow down the fall." I heard her whisper. "If you want to you can do it." I reached my hand out to catch it, but it crashed to the ground and shattered.
"You broke it!" I said.She smiled that secret smile. "Did I?" she asked.
After my vase other things began to "accidentally" fall every where. One evening when I was brushing my hair in front of the mirror, I began to hum my mothers song. "I dare as you dare life share together bear as-" I wrinkled my brows trying to remember the words.
"I dare as you dare life share-" a fog began to come over my memory. I began to panic. I stopped brushing. I tried to picture my mother singing it. My eyes widened in horror. I could not picture her face. I couldn't see her face. I had always been able to picture her, now I couldn't remember her face.
I got up and ran to the room my mother and I used to share. But the room was empty, as I knew it would be, but I could no longer smell her there. I tried frantically to look for something to rouse me memories of the mother I had loved so much.
"I can't see your face! I can' hear your voice!" I said to no one. I heard a creak at the door. I turned to find Ms. Kyo staring at me. Tears began to stream down my face.
"Unnh, How can you claim to love her so much then forget her?" she began to walk towards me. I stepped back. "Of course she is ashes now. Who remembers ashes?" she said still coming closer.
I looked cautiously at the hand she kept behind her back. I didn't like being this close to her. "No child who loved their mother would forget her so easily." I put my hands over my ears.
"Be quiet!" I shouted. "I did love her! I do love her! I loved her more than anything! You're just jealous! You've always been jealous of her!"
"How can I be jealous of ash?" My second mother said laughing cruelly. "You'll never be my mother!" I said running past her. I ran through the house looking for lady Kizume. I found her in the gardens sitting by the pond, while Yahiko played.
"I can't see her or hear her! I've forgotten my mother! I can't even sing her song!" I cried.
Lady Kizume looked at me and held out her arms. I flew into them. "I didn't mean to forget!" I sobbed. "Mama I didn't mean to forget my mother." I sobbed. For the first time ever I called Lady Kizume mama.
"Mama I can't remember her song!" I wailed into the brightly colored patterns of her kimono. She held me close, but said nothing. After that day, she never called me Kaoru aka again. I was simply Kaoru.
One morning, I awoke to find that she was not in her bed. With sleepy eyes I began to search the house for her. I found my way into the garden. The sun was barely up when I saw her. She was surrounded in a thicket of trees. I crouched low trying to keep out of sight.
In her hand was a sword. Its blade gleamed brightly. Her smile was gone. In its place was a face filled with the calm assurance of someone completely at peace. The wind blew, but I could not feel it. I watched her fascinated. She moved and I barely saw her. Her sword sliced through the air, sending leaves to swerve and arch around her.
I felt the sharp wind from the blade against my cheeks. I could not move. She moved again cutting upward. Her knee bent. And she held her hand before her. She stood like that for what seemed like ages. Then she moved and it seemed like a whirl wind had hit.
The orange and red leaves of autumn flew every where. She was so graceful, she seemed to glide. Her moves were barely visible, but somehow I saw them. I saw them and I studied them.
A sound came from her mouth making me jump. With a quick swing of the sword she cut the whirl wind of leaves in half. I turned and hurried back to the room.
In my heart, I kept this secret. I wanted to know how she could make coins dance on water, and how she could catch things so quickly. She knew, and I wanted to know to.
I woke up earlier the next morning with my eyes closed, waiting to see if she would leave again. She did. After several minutes I snuck out and followed her. Every morning for months I was her shadow.
I watched her and studied her. Each turn, each swing I remembered. One after noon when I took Yahiko out to the garden to play I saw a stick lying near the pond. I looked around to see if any one was watching me. I was alone. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what she'd done. I picked up the stick.
I tried to mimic the calm expression she wore when she held that sword. She had danced with it just as the coins had danced with the water. I raised the stick over my head then swung down in a swift arch, without waiting a made the same quick slicing motion to the left as I'd seen her do.
I was successful in copying the move, but the impact of my own movement made me loose balance, and I went crashing to the ground. That one move that I had mimicked so well had stolen some hidden power in me that I never knew I had. My arm and legs were smarting, but the thrill of excitement dulled any feeling of pain. I got up to try again.
Gradually my weak legs and frail body began to strengthen from the afternoons I spent in the garden practicing what I'd stolen. My attitude towards Lady Kyo changed dramatically. I followed her everywhere she went, even hiding behind corners just to get a glimpse of everything she did.
I became her greatest admirer but I still would not full commit to calling her mama. The memory of my lost mother was still alive in me. Even though her face was a blur, and her song was almost lost to me, I was faithfully devoted to her.
We came to an understanding one fateful afternoon. I was sitting at the huge mahogany desk in the study practicing my calligraphy, as my father had instructed she teach me. She had also become my teacher.
I was carefully writing the characters on the paper. "Write fight Kaoru." she said. Startled, my hand slipped making a small streak on the paper. She smiled when I looked up at her. I cleared my throat and pulled out a new sheet of paper.
My hands flowed across the paper, writing the word easily. "You've gotten much better Kaoru." she said. "Your hands and fingers are much more study now." she said leaning over to view my work. "This is beautiful" she said. My heart jumped at the approval of my work.
"I've been practicing." I said carefully. "I can see." she said. I looked up at her, but her face gave nothing away. "Well that's enough for today, don't you think?" she asked looking at me. I nodded and swallowed hard.
"I'll help you clean up." she said. She gathered the quills and ink well in her hands. I looked over my work and smiled. It was rather nice. The best one I' done yet. "Oh!" I heard her say, before the small vile of ink fell over my work.
Before I knew it I reached out and grabbed the ink well and the ink just before it spilled on the paper. My hands shook when I looked at the inkwell in my hands. My hand had moved so fast. I looked at her and silent tears wet my face. "You know I've been watching you don't you?" I asked. That mysterious smile was still on her face.
"Please teach me. I want to learn. I won't tell anyone I promise." "There's no need
to cry Kaoru. Promise me you'll never cry again unless it's for a good reason." She pulled me to her took the ink from my hands. "There is no need to ask me for what is already yours."
Well that's chapter one. I hope everyone likes it. In the next chapter Kaoru will reach her current age 20. If you like this story please review.