WARNING: So, I wrote the outline to this chapter when I posted the last one. It got so heavy that I legitimately had to walk away from it.

What We Lost: On hold because I have two betas working with me on it and real life is a pain in the ass. Hoping it will be up by Yule, I thank you for your patience.

Found in the Ashes: Is a clusterfuck, lots of fun, but still a cluster fuck, it will never be picked back up, however, a lot of key elements will play out in this fic although Deadly Belladonna is completely a different universe and not combatable in events.

Again, I have a lot of stories, but my writing is constantly improving because I'm building on my experiences (. If my writing takes a darker turn… welp, I named this fic after a lethal flower, what were you expecting?

P.s. We will lighten up when it get backs to Harry's romance with Luna :D

Chapter 10 - Ashes to Ashes

Harris didn't blame Harry at all when he requested to return to Grimmauld Place. They arrived in the late afternoon, Harry carrying a large basket of mixed cookies Harris had taught him to bake.

It took Harris baking for Teddy to fall in love with the culinary arts. Being forced to cook for the Dursleys had been a punishment, being able to provide for his own family and children had been an honour.

Harris quickly became known as the host for every family picnic to the extent that the extended family often cornered him to talk about his recipes and cooking tips instead of his war stories.

Sharing that with Harry earlier, letting Harry reclaim that part of himself, for himself, had a rightness to it.

Especially when it turned into a flour snow storm when Bella attempted to 'help'. Harry's laughter had reminded him of his son James, and Bella's laughter had been… it had been a balm to Harris's broken heart.

He could almost believe that his life still had meaning beyond his fulfilling a role. The Blacks didn't make up for the family he had lost but they were still family.

Harry ran to Sirius the moment they crossed the threshold, Sirius wrapping his godson in a tight embrace, looking healthier than Harris had ever before seen him.

Narcissa was also here, her expression was unreadable as she acknowledged him and pulled Bella close to her side.

Harris didn't quite know what to make of Narcissa's mood, until he entered further into the room.

He saw her then.

Andromeda.

She wasn't Bella and with them both in the same room, he wondered how he ever mistook them.

His emotions hit him like a frate train.

Harris loved her. Still was in love with her, damnit, and he hated himself for it.

She stood with Ted and Nymphadora on either side of her.

He didn't know why they were here, though he suspected it had something to do with Sirius and Regulus but it made for a full family reunion. All the living Blacks in one room: Sirius, Regulus, Narcissa, Bella, Nymphadora, Harris and his younger counterpart.

Harris's gut twisted at having to play this game.

Pretend like he hadn't shared the last thirty years of his life with Andromeda, most of which they had shared a bed. Like she wasn't the reason he was suffering now. Why his life had turned from perfect to dismal. The reason why he no longer cared if he died.

He had told Harry that he wasn't afraid of death.

The truth was though, he desired it.

Harris felt like he was drowning, like he was mute, like no one would ever understand the extent of his loss, and no one would ever fill the voids around him.

So, it was with resignation that he plastered on a pleasant expression and went to greet the woman who tore his heart out.

Andromeda turned to look at him, her face was younger, but her eyes…

Recognition. Distress. Sorrow.

Pity.

"Harry," she addressed him, her voice thick with emotions.

The world dropped out beneath his feet. He staggered back, his mind reeling at the possibility that Andromeda had survived, his Andromeda, rebelling at the implications, "You know me?"

"Harry, I'm so sorry-"

"You came back!?" he raged.

She flinched and he didn't care, he had never hit a woman before, but it was all he could do not to strangle her, "All these months?"

"Harry-"

"You spineless bitch," Harris threw at her.

Oh, he knew there were people watching. He could see it written on her face, she didn't want to have this conversation in front of everyone, in front of her daughter and husband.

But fuck that, fuck her, Harris was going to get his answers and he was going tell Andromeda exactly where she could shove it.

If his divorce with Gin had gone up in flames, this was going to end in ashes.

Harry watched the change in Harris Black and knew immediately that something bad had happened between him and Bella's sister.

"Hey! My mother is more-" Nymphadora began.

"Your mother is an honourless, traitorous-" Harris fumed back.

"Who the hell do you think you are talking to my wife like that?" Ted Tonks demanded, stepping in front of his wife.

Harris eyed him, and Harry thought he looked like a tiger deciding if he wanted to play with his food or simply rip it to shreds.

Harris's voice was smooth, low, and brought a shiver up his spine.

Uncle Vernon got louder when he was really angry but for some reason Harris's low controlled tone expressed a warning of the rage beneath.

Harris didn't speak to Ted, "I always knew you loved him more, you never did take off his ring, no matter how close you held me at night."

Harry felt like an interloper then, this conversation clearly was meant to be a private one. A glance at Sirius's expression told him his godfather felt the same, but Sirius made no move to leave.

The look of soft confusion and disbelief on Ted's face was hard to witness. His voice was small, "Andromeda you didn't- you wouldn't, I mean-"

"You trusted her?" Harris sneered, "That was my mistake, though I suppose not trusting her was yours, you poor fool."

Andromeda's jaw tightened, "Don't talk to him like that, this has nothing to do with him."

"Nothing to do with me!?" Ted exclaimed, "You're sleeping with another man!?"

Tonks was watching this all play out with paled hair and dark eyes as if shock had stripped the colour from her.

"Oh, not anymore," Harris said loftily, "No, I nor her grandson were enough. Nothing we had was apparently enough."

"Harry," Andromeda said brokenly, as if she was about to cry.

Ted jerked away from her, "You're not denying it? You've been having an affair. You cheated on me?"

He sounded devastated.

"Hard to cheat on a dead man," Harris scoffed. "You married one of the most powerful witches in all of Britain and yet you ran, thinking you would be keeping her safe. You died alone in the woods, Ted, good going. Truly, hats off."

Ted turned on Harris, "Is that -what, a threat?"

Harris smiled unpleasantly, "Call it a prediction."

"Harry, that's enough," Andromeda chided.

Harris laughed, it wasn't a good sound, "Enough? Enough? Tell me, my love, what would be enough? You sent me back and I did as you asked; I broke your sister out of Azkaban, I've been taking care of her and the rest of this broken excuse of a family, and I've been killing pieces of Voldemort off, again. What is it going to take to be enough?"

"Harry, you don't understand-"

"You're right, I don't understand. I don't understand how you could give up all that we had, for what? The chance to fuck it up worse than before?"

"It isn't worse," Andromeda said stiffly.

Ted and Tonks were looking at her as if they didn't know her.

"Isn't it? Isn't it!?" Harris gestured to Harry, "So far it hasn't worked out better for him. Voldemort managed a full possession. It was only dumb luck that Voldemort didn't take that opportunity to finally kill the Boy Who Lived," he said that title with palpable sarcasm and derision, "or use him as an assassin. I'm sure murdering his classmates and Dumbledore would have looked fan-bloody-tastic on his resume. Oh, but I forgot, no one gives a damn what happens to Harry Potter, he is, after all, not a person, not a child, he's just an orphan destined to save the wizarding world from its own stupidity."

Harry blinked, knowing he should be offended but something about the bitterness in Harris's voice... Harry always felt like Harris understood him like no one else ever could.

"Harry, that wasn't my intention."

"What was your intention, Andromeda? Tell me, what do you honestly think could justify taking my babies away from me!?"

Harry felt his eyes go wide, he didn't know what was happening but he knew Harris mourned his children, and that was somehow Andromeda's doing?

"I didn't-"

"You eased them! My sons, my daughter! You erased your own grandson!" Harris held up his hands in a gesture that was both angered and pleading, "my grandbaby, my little Magnolia, you took everything from me!"

Andromeda shook her head, "He'll have both his parents."

"Oh, good," Harris said, voice derisive, "Teddy will have the father who ran out on him and a mother who orphaned him to go die in battle. I'm sure he'll be delighted, that's certainly going to be a loving home."

"Don't speak ill of my daughter," Andromeda snarled.

"I raised her son, Andromeda, hell, I picked you off the floor when you couldn't figure out how to use a shower. There are quite a few things I could say to your deceased husband and late daughter."

"You-"

"Death is a part of life, Andromeda! I understood that by seventeen. The only people who made my life worth living, who made purpose of my rotten past were Teddy, James, Rose, Magnolia, and I thought, apparently wrongly, you."

"I'm very confused," Tonks said, "I don't have a son."

"And I'm not deceased," Ted added.

Andromeda shook her head, "It was what I was meaning to tell you…"

"Oh, so you haven't talked to them either? The bounds of your love, Andromeda, are pitiful. Sirius was wrong about you, and your sisters were right."

Ted's jaw set, "I am no less a man because I am muggleborn."

"I really don't give a damn who she married, Ted. It's how she left. How she left everyone else to pick up the pieces, to fight, while she sits back to horde her personal happiness."

"I didn't do this for myself."

"Didn't you? A guilty conscience for your sister, a widow's mourning, a mother's sorrow, instead of dealing with your shit, you chose to rewrite reality."

"My daughter-"

"You think I care! Tonks made her choices and so did you. We've all made mistakes, but you took mine. You took away my daughter and sons! What you did to us wasn't a mistake, it was a betrayal."

Andromeda didn't stand down, "I know you Harry, your entire generation was nearly wiped out, you told me about your regrets, how you wished-"

"I never wished away my babies!" Harris roared, "Not when Gin fought for custody, not when she kicked me out of my own home. I never regretted being Teddy's godfather at seventeen, I never regretted having twins with a woman I no longer loved. When it came to them, I regretted nothing. Andromeda, you have taken more from me than the Dark Lord ever has."

Gin? Harry wondered, he can't possibly mean Ginny Weasley. But what were the odds of a man who looked like me, was called by my name and married a 'Gin'?

Andromeda was crying now, the tears sliding down her fair cheeks, "Harry, please, the world was torn apart-"

Harris swept his hand through the air, "The world is not my responsibility! Fuck you! Fuck your people, fuck the entire wizarding world! A baby? A fucking baby? Yes, because that makes sense, not that my muggleborn mother was clever enough to cast a blood protection ward on her son. No, no one ever put that obvious factor together, no it had to be the baby. The baby who grew into a child cloistered away like a weapon to be used but never listened to. It always falls on me to save the world from the Philosopher's stone to me willingly walk to my own execution on Dumbledore's command."

Harry was trying to process what Harris had just said when Andromeda confirmed it.

"Harry Potter," Andromeda said to the collective gasp of the room, "it falls on you because you are that good-"

Harry looked at Harris, at the man he would grow up to be and was at once awed and then horrified.

Harris who had duelled Voldemort and faced death without fear, who was kind to people in a way that gave others strength, and who had endured more hardship than Harry could fathom.

What would it be to have a family of his own, sons and a daughter, then a grandchild, then what? Have the woman he fell in love with betray him and take it all away, force him back through time to continue fighting Voldemort after once defeating him?

Harry was nauseated, not by the time travel, not by two of him co-existing in the same time and space, but at the knowledge that his every dream would be answered one day; only to be taken away from him, not by an enemy, but by his lover.

Because looking at Harris, knowing now who he really was, Harry saw the devastation.

Harry expected Voldemort to hurt him, but to be betrayed by someone he loved?

"You used me!" Harris roared.

Harry shut his eyes and leaned into Sirius's side, some hope in his heart blowing out as he realized it was never going to get better, he was never going to be happy.

Happiness wasn't a part of his destiny.

Harris barely registered the others' shock; Sirius's look of pure horror, Harry's sorrow, Regulus's confusion, Bella's fury at Andromeda, and Narcissa's shock as she no doubt realized she had tumbled while born in the same year as her own son.

None of it mattered, but Ted and Nymphadora apparently had had enough of being shunted to the side.

"Wait, you're from the future?" Ted asked, "That's why you've been… I died?"

"You remarried a man younger than I am?" Nymphadora interjected.

"No," Harris said bitterly, "We shared a bed for nearly thirty years but we never married. She was always another man's wife. She saw herself as your widow, Ted. She loved your memory more than me, more than her grandson and great-granddaughter. She chose you over the life we built together."

"Harry, you can still find happiness," Andromeda said. "This world-"

"Find happiness? I was happy, I was content-"

"But you can make the world better," she insisted, "You can let him," she gestured to the boy curled in on himself, Sirius's arms wrapped around him, "have a childhood. You are an adult now, you truly are the Dark Lord's equal, you-"

"He isn't a child, Andromeda!" Harris snapped, "Look at him, look at him. He's fifteen and he knows what you've taken from me, from him. Congratulations on giving him a new worst nightmare."

"He still has Sirius."

"Lovely," Harris snapped, "did you honestly forget that I got Sirius killed because I was so desperate not to lose him?"

"You can stop that from happening this time," Andromeda said, her eyes going to Bella.

Harris stepped in front of the two other Black sisters, because no, just no. "I always wondered how my parents could have trusted Pettigrew, how they could have been that blind to his cowardice, but it seems I was just as blind. I should have taken Teddy from you and left you to rot."

The tears fell from her face, but still, she smiled sadly at him, "But you would never have done that, just like you couldn't leave Bella-"

"It's been months, why did you never come to us? If you love your sister so much, why abandon us again?" Harris asked.

"Because I know what I've done to you was wrong, Harry, but I don't regret it."

Harris shook his head, "You are a monster."

"I know."

Harris's heart felt hollowed out, "What's the real reason?"

Andromeda shook her head.

He had enough, he crossed the space between them, stopping just short of touching her. She looked up to meet his eyes, "Tell me. How the bloody hell did you even send us back? Why are there two of me and one of you?"

"The cost of rewriting the past was my death."

Curse him for those words hurting him, for being able to hate her and love her, for him to wish he never kissed her to mourning even the idea of her dying.

It hurt and he wanted to hurt her in turn, "Get out, Andromeda, you aren't welcome, your family was right to cast you out. I won't let you betray any of us again. Ted, Nymphadora, fine, as Teddy's grandfather and mother, fine, but you, I never want to see you again."

He stepped back from her, but she caught his wrist, "Harry James Potter, I do love you, I always will."

He looked at her in disgust, "This isn't love, Andromeda."

"What we had," she began, then had the sense to lower her gaze as his magic rippled the air between, "it was beautiful," she looked up at him, "but our world needed a wizard not a boy to save us. Albus Dumbledore is nearly as bad as the Dark Lord, and my sisters, my cousin- my daughter, were never given a chance. We were the next generation and our parents, the Dark Lord, decided our fates. The first war broke us, the second war… Harry, you were the Lost Generation, Teddy, Rose, and James had good lives but they grew up in the shadows of these horrors. You have the power to change that."

"Then why now, why send me back here and not then? Before Sirius and Bella spent over a decade in Azkaban, before my parents died?"

Her hand tightened around his wrist, "Because you never learned enough about the first war, back then, Grindelwald's followers were still active. But in this time, you know everything you need to set things right."

"There is nothing right about this," Harris said, "There is always a price. So go home, with your daughter and your husband while the rest of us fight the war you never deigned to pick a side in."

"Picking a side meant fighting against my sisters."

"You won't fight them, but you wouldn't save them either."

"I have now."

"No, I have."

"I'm dying, Harry," she said, "the ritual I used, it required my death then and now."

Ted exclaimed, "No! Andromeda-"

"It's been months, you're not dead yet," Harris said coldly, though his gut twisted further at this knowledge.

"I wanted-" she swallowed, letting go of him to pull up her sleeve where her veins were visible beneath her skin, ebony lines laced with purple breathing, "I didn't know how long I would have."

"So of course you choose them," Harris said flatly, his heart breaking further. Had anything between them meant anything?

"I wanted you to hate me," she offered, though what he saw was her own self-hatred.

"Wish granted," he said dully, taking another step back from her.

Hands touched his back. Startling him, he looked down into dark eyes as Bella wrapped her arms around him. He saw understanding there; Bella knew what it was to love Andromeda and be betrayed by her, yet to love her despite it.

"Get out," Narcissa said, stepping up to Harry's side, "You've been dead to me for years."

Andromeda pulled her gaze away from Bella who ignored her to look at Narcissa, "I'm sorry."

"You should have killed the Lestrange brothers," Bella said with frightening lucidness, "You ran and never stopped running. You were supposed to be the strong one."

Harris hugged Bella to him, "If you're waiting for forgiveness, Andromeda, you won't find it here."

A glance in Sirius's direction, showed that Sirius had already departed the room with Harry and Regulus at some point.

Andromeda had set fire to far too many bridges, all that remained were ashes.

Not even time travel could undo that.

Andromeda looked at the three of them as if her heart were being ripped out, "I love you, all of you."

"Go to hell," Narcissa hissed.

Andromeda stepped back, Ted catching her as she almost stumbled on her skirts, "I am sorry."

"No, you aren't," Harris said, knowing even as he said it, it was part of the reason he had fallen in love with her in the first place.

Andromeda Tonks, a woman of mystery and contradictions. A woman who would kill for her family, had power enough to rival even Harris, yet also a woman who was afraid. So very afraid.

A fear she had allowed to eat away her reason and ability to fight.

He supposed, this wasn't really about him or Ted or even Nymphadora. Andromeda, the middle child trying to take care of an older sister who had been pulled into a cult and a younger sister who had fallen in love with a terrorist.

In hindsight, Andromeda should have just murdered her parents, murdered the Lestrange brothers and Lucius Malfoy. Instead, she had fallen in love with the gentleness of a humble man and ran away with him; and kept running.

Harris had fallen in love with the woman who was broken as he was, who knew the worst the world had to offer but still loved and cherished her family anyway. He had made peace with knowing that she would always love Ted and Nymphadora more than any others; he had not counted on magic giving her the keys to cheat death and time. He never would have guessed she would gamble their lives away in remaking the world.

But that was the paradox of her, she was fire and ash. Passion and ruin.

Hope and destruction.

Stars above, he would always love her but he would never forgive her.

Andromeda seemed to read it all on his face as she turned her wrist, her wand slipping into her grasp as she held onto Ted.

This was it, this was the end of their story. She would die soon, the pain in her face was more than emotional, her stumble more than a show of distress.

She was actively dying, and it would be slow and painful, likely some portion of time related to how far she had taken them into the past.

"Andromeda," Bella called.

Andromeda paused, "Bella."

"Goodbye, sister," Bella said, squeezing Harris's waist.

Andromeda smiled softly, "I love you."

She and Ted disappeared with a pop, followed by a second as Nymphadora departed.

"She took everything from you, and you still helped me?" Bella asked Harris.

He pulled her in for a proper hug, stroking her hair, "Whatever Andromeda's intentions, you never deserved your fate, Bella."

She pressed her face against his chest and shoulder, holding onto him as much as she was offering him comfort.

Harris didn't know what to think, what to feel.

Andromeda was dying.

He loved her.

He hated her.

He missed her.

He hated himself.

"She hasn't changed," Narcissa said softly.

Harris kissed Bella's head, "No, she hasn't."

"What are you going to do?" Narcissa asked.

He closed his eyes, succeeding in restraining the tears, "Go on living."

Note: A different vision of Andromeda than my usual, but I enjoy exploring flawed characters who act illogical ways due to those flaws. Not everyone overcomes their issues and others often pay the price of that right along with them.

ANII: Thoughts on the chapter, sea tortoises, or feedback, pretty please?