Obligatory disclaimer, whoo! I don't own Final Fantasy or any characters and stuff. Yup. ENJOY THE STORY!
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Shades of Red
Chapter Three - Nostalgia and Hot Dogs
The first thing I heard next morning was Irvine's voice jolting me awake. Irvine first thing in the morning was not as pleasant as I'd expected.
"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" he chirped in a sing-song voice. Irvine was wearing his usual chaps with the purple vest, but his coat was off for the time being, resting on the backs of one of the chairs in my room. It really is a shame that he wore the coat so often. The muscles in his arms are beautifully toned, and all he does is hide that with his large, bulky coat.
"What the hell, Irvine!" I grumbled as he threw open the curtains, letting bright rays of sunshine fill the room. "It's 6:30 AM!"
"Yeah, I've got class startin' in a half hour," he explained. "If you, like, need me to do anything, you best ask me now or else you'll be waitin' all day for my classes to end."
I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest, wrapping my blanket around myself. Wearing only boxers, I was not expecting Irvine to come to my room so early. I mentally cursed myself for giving Irvine the key to my dorm. Honestly, I don't really know why I was being so self-conscious around Irvine. We were both guys, and guys are allowed to have their shirts off. It's nothing he's never seen. Of course, morning wood was a problem, and Irvine's presence was not helping.
"So, is there anything you'd like me to take care of?" he offered while smiling the sweetest smile I'd ever seen.
It may have been just my imagination, especially since I was just thinking about my erection, but it seemed to me that Irvine had a pretty suggestive tone in his voice. I merely shrugged it off as wishful thinking and replied, "Just start the shower for me."
"No, siree! What're you gonna do in there? Stand on one foot like a flamingo the whole time?" Irvine protested. "No showers for you. I'll start filling the bath.
Before I could say a thing in response, Irvine left me and entered the private bathroom available in every SeeD's dorm. I used my time alone to quickly grab a pair of pants I had lying around. Careful not to bend my injured foot in a funny angle, I put on my baggy shorts as quickly as I could. I silently thanked Hyne for the luck that I had picked up something baggy; it would hide my morning erection pretty well.
Just as I began to pull myself out of bed, Irvine returned.
"Hey, hey! Keep your weight off that foot!" he commanded as he rushed to my side. "Let me help you to the bath."
Irvine put his arm around me as a support and led me to the bathroom. Of course, I could have moved more quickly, but I purposely moved slowly just so I could spend more time with Irvine's arm around me. It was a wonderful feeling, and I could use my bad foot as an excellent excuse for taking so long. He had such soft skin! Irvine was rather slim, yet I could tell that he had beautifully toned muscles.
We reached the bathroom after what I thought was much too short a time. I could blame that on the fact that these SeeD dorms were not very large, and it only takes a few paces to get from one end of the room to the other. Irvine released his grip on me as we reached the bathtub. I turned to face him, neither of us saying anything. I waited a moment for him to leave; of course, I couldn't get undressed with Irvine standing right there, but he just stood there, looking kind of spaced out.
"Um, Irvine? I need to, uh..."
"Oh! Right, right," he stumbled. "Sorry 'bout that, yeah. I, um, I'll be right on the other side of the door if you'll be needin' anything."
As he left the room, I shut the bathroom door and locked it. I removed my shorts and boxers, wondering why Irvine hesitated before leaving. Maybe he's attracted to me, I thought. Ha, yeah right. That would be the day. I dipped my foot in the tub, testing the water. Not expecting it to be so hot, I briefly recoiled before slowly putting my entire foot into the tub.
I finally got settled in the water and relaxed as I quickly took care of my inevitable arousal. The smell of something wonderful being cooked seeped into the bathroom through the cracks in the door, causing my mouth to water. Quickly, I finished washing up, eager to see what it was Irvine was cooking. Barely drying myself with a towel, I pulled on my shorts and drained the tub. As I left the bathroom, I brought my towel with me to dry off my hair as I entered my room.
"Mmm, smells like you're frying bacon," I commented.
"Yep! I'm cooking them with-- Zell!" Irvine suddenly exclaimed as he rushed to my side. "You're not supposed to walk on that foot!"
As he helped me to a chair, I whined, "I'm not a baby! I can handle myself." I was starting to be able to act more comfortably around him. For me, that was really an accomplishment. Me and relationships never went well together.
"Are those hot dogs you're frying with the bacon!" I exclaimed.
"Yep!" Irvine grinned. "I know how you love hot dogs. Bet ya ain't never had 'em with bacon."
"Only once when my ma cooked it for me. The cafeteria never does anything fancy like that," I explained.
Irvine let out a chuckle. "Oh, this here ain't nothin' fancy." He put the food on a plate and made a place for it on the small table that was covered with fighting magazines. "So, what do ya think?"
I shoveled large portions of hot dog and bacon into my mouth, enjoying every second of it. I tried to tell him, "It's amazing," but there was no way I could form intelligible words with food stuffed into my mouth.
"I'm glad you like it. Don't, like, choke on it, alright?" Irvine smiled warmly as he lightly patted my shoulder. "Well, I need to be gettin' to class now. I'll be 'round when it's over." As he left, I gave him a cheerful thumbs up, still unable to say anything due to the large amounts of food I continuously piled in.
When I finished eating, I flopped down on my bed, trying to find something entertaining to do. I began reading one of my magazines, but I couldn't concentrate; I couldn't stop thinking about Irvine. I really wanted our relationship to be something more than friends, but I was too scared to do anything about it. I've never had an actual boyfriend. Yeah, I had a couple of nice girlfriends before I realized I was gay, but that obviously never did it for me.
I wasn't always so nervous when it came to relationships. Before, I acted as I normally would, just acting on impulse before I could think. That's my problem - I don't think, and that nearly ruined everything for me. I remember that day well. I was sixteen and my fourth year as a Cadet was almost finished...
It was a warm, spring day, and Cadets ran amok through Balamb Garden, excited that it was almost summer break. As usual, I sat in the cafeteria eating hot dogs and laughing it up with Nida and a few other Cadets. Just as we were finishing up, Nida exclaimed, "Ooh, Zell, here he comes!"
I turned my head eagerly to the cafeteria entrance where Seifer stood arrogantly with his two minions, Fujin and Raijin. He pointed to an empty table in an isolated corner of the cafeteria, and the two quickly walked ahead to claim their seats. When Seifer joined them, he spoke briefly with them before they went off to the lunch line. Seifer sat alone as he waited for his lunch to be brought to him, giving anyone who dared to look at him the death glare.
"Really, Zell, I have no idea what you could possibly see in him," Nida sighed.
"Seifer's just so... so... cool," I replied. "He's got this air of authority around him. Everybody listens to him."
"That's because they're scared shitless of what he can do to them," Nida pointed out. "Besides, you're both tops. It would never work!"
Completely disregarding what Nida was saying, I suddenly announced, "I'm going for it," and stood up from my seat and crossed the cafeteria to where Seifer was sitting. Is attention was elsewhere, so I was able to surprise him as I sidled up on his lap. He kept his composure enough to not jump, but the look on his face made it obvious that he was caught off guard.
"Hey, Seifer," I said as I rested my arms on his shoulders to help me keep my balance.
"What do you want, Dincht?" Seifer grumbled.
"You an' me, Balamb Café, 8 o'clock tonight," I offered. "How 'bout it?"
"In your dreams," he retorted as he pushed me off his lap. That was hardly
enough to deter me. I sat in a chair next to his and scooted closer to him. "The fact you think I look gay insults me, Dincht."
"Whatever, Seifer," I chuckled. "I know you've got a thing for that Squall Leonheart. I can tell." As I mentioned this, his face darkened and he gave me the angriest glare I've ever seen. "Whatever you see in that square, I don't know." I leaned in close and whispered in his ear. "Give up on that ice queen, and I'll show ya how to really party."
Again, he pushed me away. Seifer was gonna be a tough nut to crack, and that made it all the more fun for me. Fujin and Raijin returned with the food, which was my cue to leave. I rose from my seat and turned to Seifer, "Remember my offer. Call me." I winked and pranced back to my group, half of which looked horrified, and the other half turned red from trying to hold back giggles.
Honestly, I wasn't trying to offend Seifer at all. I was just being me, but I guess Seifer was having difficulty coming to terms with his sexuality. He's still not really open about it, but he was even worse back then. I can't help but think it was all my fault for not realizing how sensitive he was.
He always acted neutral towards my flirting, but I guess my playful banter threw Seifer over the edge one day. I saw him as he stalked through the hallway with a terribly angry look on his face. To this day, I have no idea what went on earlier, but I foolishly ignored his foul mood and acted as usual. Without warning, Seifer's emerald eyes flared with a rage I have never seen before in anyone. He grabbed me by my collar and roughly shoved me against the wall.
"Look here, chickenwuss," he spat, "I have no interest in guys, especially little wussies like you. People around here are starting to think I'm a pansy-ass homo thanks to you." He released me but quickly brought his fist around to land a blow on my cheek, causing me to fall. As he stood over me, Seifer sneered, "Let that be a warning to you, Dincht. Make a pass at me again, and you will wish you had never laid eyes on me." Holding back tears, I watched as he continued down the hall as if nothing had happened.
From then on, I'd always be the subject of his torment. Any chance he got, Seifer would pick on me and give me a hard time just to prove his manliness and that he had no interest whatsoever in me, or any guy for that matter, though it's obvious he's got a thing for Squall. From then on, I've been afraid to confess feelings to any man for fear that he may become disgusted with me like Seifer.
I know, it's a bit too angsty for something that has to do with me, but everyone's got something they're shy about, you know? I guess that's just my one thing. Though, people were starting to notice that there was something not right with me. I needed to start acting normal and learn to control my emotions. Maybe I could even work up the courage to confess to Irvine. Seifer's a jerk, and I was stupid to not expect something like that to happen, but Irvine is not Seifer. He's sweeter than Seifer could ever hope to be.
A knock on my door roused me from my reverie. I looked at the clock, and realized that I had actually fallen asleep and had been napping for four hours. The knock, I guess, was just warning that the door was going to open, rather than a request for permission to enter. Before I could reply, the door opened and Irvine invited himself into my room.
"I, like, brought you some lunch," Irvine said as he placed a white paper bag on the table. "The cafeteria's specialty!"
Before Irvine finished taking three hot dogs out of the bag, I managed to stumble across my small dorm as quickly as possible to get to that food. I hadn't even thought about what to do for lunch yet, and here was Irvine, thoughtfully bringing me my favorite food. He was being such a good friend to me, but what would he do when he discovered that I want to be more than friends?
"Zell! I told ya, you shouldn't, like, be walking on that foot!" Irvine scolded. "I don't want ya hurtin' it any more than it already is."
"Oh, it's fine, grandma!" I joked. "I'm sure I can safely hobble five feet. Seriously, though, thanks. I really don't know how else I could have gotten lunch. You really didn't have to get me three, though, two hot dogs would be just fine."
"I did get ya two," Irvine smiled. "The third one is mine."
"You mean you didn't have lunch yet! I thought you would have eaten in the cafeteria with Selphie or some other girls." That last part came out a bit spiteful, but thankfully Irvine didn't catch my tone of voice.
"I'm sure the absence of me won't, like, kill them," Irvine replied. "Besides, I thought you might enjoy some company. I can leave if you want."
"No!" I replied a bit too quickly. Irvine gave me that adorable smile of his, and I could feel my face heating up. "I mean, no, I'm not trying to be rude or kick you out or anything. You can stay if you want. I don't care. I mean, I don't not care that you decided to give me company, I just mean... um..." There I went, letting my mouth do the babbling thing again. "I mean, you know what I mean."
Irvine replied softly with a very amused look on his face, "I know exactly what you mean."
I had a feeling he meant more than what he said. Irvine has always had this way of making simple things sound if there was more of a meaning to it. Now that I know him better, I can usually tell if what Irvine is saying is a loaded statement or not. If I would have known him as well back then, I would have realized that he probably meant, "It's all right, I know you love me."
Through the rest of our lunch, I decided to let Irvine do most of the talking. We didn't talk about much, just kinda "chewed the fat," so-to-speak. I somehow managed to finish one and a half hot dogs before Irvine finished his one. I teased him a bit for eating slowly, and he teased me for inhaling my food.
"Did you, like, even enjoy it at all?" he asked. "I don't know how you could. You ate it so fast, I don't know how you could've even tasted it."
"Hey, it's a hot dog. I don't make love to it, I eat it," I retorted. Realizing what I had just said about what sort of food made me turn a deep red, especially with that look Irvine was giving me, like he was about to make some perverted comment. I know he wanted to, but I guess he just decided to let that one go.
"Yes, well, I need to start headin' back to my class," he said. "Try not to walk on that foot too much, alright?"
"Okay, okay!"
"I'll stop by after class," Irvine said as he waved and headed to the door.
"Wait, Irvine." He paused as I called out to him. "Thank you for spending your lunch with me. I know you probably would have rather been with your friends, and that was just really nice of you, and I just wanted to thank you."
"Nah, it was nothin'!" Irvine replied with a smile. "If it wasn't somethin' I wanted, then I wouldn't do it." He gave a wink and a quick, "Later!" before leaving me alone once again. I couldn't wait until his classes were over. It scared me a bit, but Irvine Kinneas was simply too good to be true.