Thanks to all that review! Sorry for the sweetness Thug, I just can't stop myself sometimes. We'll get you some violence later, I promise!

River stopped abruptly as they entered the corridor that led to the kitchen, placing a hand on Jo's wrist as she did. Frowning slightly, she arched her head toward the open door as though listening.

"What is it?" Jo strained her ears, trying to hear what had halted the young psychic.

"Anger... fear."

Jo's eye's widened as River's hand dropped from her wrist and she continued towards the open door. When they were a few feet away, she could finally here what River had sensed so far back. Angry voices were issuing from the kitchen, and Jo thought they sounded as though they belonged to the Captain and Jayne. She inched forward, curious as to the source of the heated discussion.

"What in the gorram are we gonna do Mal?" Jayne's irritated voice reached them clearly in the hallway and Jo and River hovered near the door, just out of sight, but they could see the large man and Zoe sitting at the table. They were both turned in the direction of the counter, and Jo suspected Mal was standing near it. "How we gonna find work when we got the Alliance hot on our trail? I didn't sign on to not get paid!"

Josephine made to turn back, clearly not wishing to be found eavesdropping, but River pushed past her and walked into the mess. The others fell silent as she walked calmly over to the table and resumed eating her lunch. Their eyes turned to Jo, who now had no choice but to enter as well. She stayed near the door, however, hoping for an easy escape if need be. She could see Mal now, as he leaned against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. He stared at her a moment, his expression irritated.

There was no use in pretending she hadn't over heard Jayne, and she stared at the floor, avoiding their gaze. "I'll leave... I never meant to cause so much trouble..."

Jayne rolled his eyes as he turned back to Mal. "There ya go, she'll get off. Problem solved."

"No one's gettin' off Jayne," Mal said coldly. "We managed to survive fine when the Operative was looking for River and..."

"Yeah cause that turned out great," Jayne muttered.

Mal continued, ignoring Jayne. "And we've got money enough for now. Enough to stock up on fuel cells and food, drift for awhile, let this die down."

Zoe spoke up hesitantly, obviously not wanting to disagree with the Captain, but not knowing what else to do. "Sir, what if it doesn't die down? What then?"

Mal stared at her, unsure how to answer, and Josephine felt an uneasy hush settle over the kitchen. The only noise was River chewing softly and the soft scrap of her utensils across her plate.

Jo spoke again, filling the silence. "I'll go, really."

"You're not going anywhere!" Mal snapped at her, misdirecting his anger toward Jayne, and she started, moving closer to the door.

"Why not?" Jayne stood up and his temper made him seem larger than he was. "Just cause you got some weird crush on an emotionally unstable... kid..."

"Jayne." Zoe spoke quietly but her tone was deadly as she cautioned him.

He went right on as though he hadn't heard the first mate. "... and you need to play hero, prove something to yourself maybe, you're gonna risk everything!"

The Captain stepped closer to Jayne, invading his space and balling his hands at his sides in an effort not to strike out. "This is my ship. I'll risk what I want." His teeth were clenched, each word spat carefully in the taller man's face. "And you'll have no say in it."

Jayne eyed him a moment, silently debating his options, before pushing past Mal and heading for the door, muttering curses under his breath as he went. Jo jumped out of his was quickly to avoid being barreled into and silence stretched over the room again.

"Sir?"

"What!" Mal directed his anger at Zoe now, but she stared him down, unflinching.

"Jayne's got a point. How we gonna find work?"

He sighed heavily, rubbing his face. "We've found work in tighter spots before Zoe, we can do it again." He paused, as though trying to convince himself. "We know enough anti-Alliance people, we'll get by."

He turned to River, still eating calmly. "Get us some place safe. Some where we can land and stock up on supplies." She nodded and headed to the bridge. "No where Alliance friendly," he called after her loudly.

Zoe stood up, not finished talking to Mal, but he studiously avoided her gaze and she left. Josephine turned to follow Zoe, but the Captain stopped her.

"Where are you goin'?" His was still angry, not necessarily at her, but his voice was filled with a quiet scorn as she turned to him.

"I... I was just..."

"You came to eat, so eat," Mal said coldly, but his eyes softened somewhat as he looked at her. "Really... eat something."

She walked farther into the room cautiously and put a small amount of leftover food on a plate before sitting at the table. Mal regarded her silently as he leaned back against the counter, his original position. He let her eat quietly for a moment before speaking softly.

"Do you want to go?"

Jo stopped, chopsticks half way to her mouth, startled at the unguarded tone of his voice. She answered him slowly, unable to look up. "No."

She heard him move to the other side of the table and as he sat across from her she was suddenly embarrassed.

"Look, about last night..." he began slowly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, cheeks burning.

He shook his head swiftly. "No, stop. No need to be embarrassed. I don't want you to be. I just wanted to say..." He paused suddenly, unsure of how to continue. "I don't mind... I mean, I hope you would be able to..." He made an exasperated noise and slammed his hand down on the table, causing Jo to look up, eyes wide. "I have nightmares too sometimes."

She stared at him, mouth open slightly in surprise as she waited for him to continue. "Mostly left over from the war but sometimes... I was tortured once," he paused as she gasped softly, "by a fella named Niska. He's still out there somewhere. Point is, I know what it's like."

Her eyes filled with questions but Mal waved his hand dismissively. "Another time maybe. I wasn't there but a few days, I don't think it was nothin' like what you went through, but maybe If I'd had someone to help me through it... you get what I'm sayin'?"

She nodded quickly and Mal looked relieved at not having to explain himself further. "Good." He stood up suddenly and looked down at her. "I'm gonna go talk to River, see about spending some of this money you made us." He paused again, the unease back on his face. "You understand what I said?" She nodded again, and he turned to leave. "Good." Now maybe she can explain it to me, he thought as he headed for the bridge.

She was running, always running. Through the dark corridors of Rawley's home. She knew if she could only get to the door, get out, everything would be fine. But the hallway's were impossibly long, the floor-length red curtains billowing out at her, trapping her. She beat against them with her fists, trying to untangle herself, trying to get free. Every time she got a glimpse of the door, the hallway seemed to expand and it pushed away from her. She'd hear him behind her, laughing, breathing on her neck, and she would fight the ache in her legs, the stitch in her side. I have to keep running, not much farther. But then the door would disappear and she'd be in another corridor, confused and lost. No doors here, no windows or curtains. She'd stop, panting heavily as she turned in all directions looking for an exit, but there weren't any. Yelling angrily through her tears, she beats her fists against the wall in anguish, before sliding down it to sit on the floor. It's quiet now, the only sound her muffled sobs, and she listens carefully for him to come. He always comes. She can hear his footsteps softly from the right, and she pulls herself up the wall to face him. To fight. A knife materializes in her hand and she holds the cold metal out in front of her, ready. She waits for him to step out of the darkness on her right, the sadistic sneer on his face. But arms grab her from behind and she can feel Rawley's breath on her back as his hand slides over her own holding the knife. He presses his lips to her ear roughly.

"Mine..." he whispers as he guides their hands, holding the knife together, into her stomach, all the way to the hilt. She freezes as she feels the flesh tear, unable to cry out. Violently, he jerks the knife across her stomach, splitting it open, and she falls to her knees as he relinquishes his grip. It's like she's gone deaf and mute, she can't scream no matter how much she wants to and no sound reaches her ears. Instead her mouth opens in a silent cry as she pulls the knife out of her stomach and tosses it to the floor, covered in blood. In her blood. Her hands fly to the rip in her flesh, desperately trying to stop the bleeding, but only succeeding in coating her hands in her own sticky fluids. She can feel her insides trying to get out, to escape like she had wanted to earlier. They bulge against her palms, their rubbery texture squishing in the blood and she can feel the bile rise in her throat. She can't hold them any longer as she begins to get dizzy and she moves her hands to the floor, making palm prints in the pool of blood beneath her. The corridor starts to spin as she sits on the floor. The first piece of her falls from her stomach as her voice and ears start to work again. They fall to the floor, wet and leathery looking, and land in the puddle of blood, now impossibly large, with a loud plop and she can't stop it now. Can't stop the bile and phlegm from rising in her throat. She retches violently on her own insides, screaming loudly as she does, and the world around her spins faster and faster, until she feels as though she's being thrown from it and into her own bed on Serenity.

She woke, breathing heavily, fighting not to scream, and pulled her hands in front of her eyes. There was no blood, no tear in her stomach, but her body was sticky with sweat and it reminded her. She rolled off the bed quickly and dropped to all fours. Crawling to the corner, she heaved silently, refusing to let herself scream. When she was finished, she crawled away from the small mess and laid her pounding head on the cool floor. Her heart beat rapidly as she lay there, trying to calm down, to feel anything but... empty.

Josephine wandered the dimly lit corridors of Serenity, rejoicing inwardly that the metal walls in no way resembled those from her dream. She'd cleaned up the soiled rug in her room and taken a scalding shower, as though the steaming water could wash away the memory of blood. She'd scrubbed and scrubbed until her skin was pink and still she couldn't force herself to lay back down. The temperature on the ship was regulated and very comfortable, but Jo hugged her arms to her chest, cold despite the heat.

She stood in the cargo bay for a short time, the huge cavernous space affording her some comfort, but eventually she felt the familiar itch between her shoulder blades reminding her to keep moving. As she climbed the stairs to the upper level, she couldn't help but glance over her shoulder, unexplainably afraid that Rawley would come out of the shadows, even here. She new it was silly, he couldn't actually be on the ship, but Jo felt his presence everywhere. Well not everywhere, she thought. He wasn't with me last night, when I was with... the memory flooded over her, crept inside and she felt the warmth spreading to every part of her.

She stopped suddenly, confused to find herself in the crew quarters. Jo couldn't remember if she'd come here purposefully or just happened upon it. There was Kaylee's bunk, with the decorations that always brought a smile to Jo's face. Her eyes shifted to the closed door next to it and she took a few steps towards it involuntarily. She was able to stop herself when she felt the cold metal of the door under her palm, and she took a step back, slightly shaken at what she'd been about to do. But this is what he meant earlier right? Mal had said she could come to him if... if what exactly? She had no adequate answers for herself and their conversation in the kitchen earlier that day had confused her, but somehow she hoped this is what he meant.

Gaining some confidence, she pushed the hatch in, grimacing slightly at the small thud it produced. She climbed down the ladder quickly and into the complete darkness of Mal's bunk. The ladder slid closed behind her, adding to the darkness and she kept a hand firmly planted on the wall as she strained her eyes to see anything out of the black. A sound not unlike the hammer of a gun being pulled back brought her attention to the opposite side of the room.

"Who's there?" Mal's voice was steady, not laced with the after effects of sleep, and she knew he must be holding a pistol.

"It's me," she whispered unsurely into the room.

Mal was silent for a moment before speaking again. "Another nightmare?"

Jo wanted to run from the room at his silence and breathed a sigh of relief when he finally spoke. "Yes," she spoke quietly as she answered him, barely breathing. Her eyes began to adjust slowly to the light, and she was able to make out his faint outline on the bed. She heard more than saw him pull the blanket back as he scooted towards the wall, putting his back to it. As her eyes adjusted more, Jo could see him holding the blanket up but she stayed rooted to the spot.

"What are you waitin' on, a written invitation?" His tone was teasing and it brought a small smile to her face in the darkness. She moved towards him and Mal watched her intently as she laid on her side, back facing him. He let the blanket drop over her but didn't touch her, leaving a space between them like the night before. This time, however, they knew it would be different. Each knew they would wake up pressed together and warm, Mal holding her tightly to him, his face pressed into her hair.

He slid his arm around her loosely and Josephine felt Rawley being chased away, forced into something less than a memory, and she smiled as she gave herself over to sleep for the second time that night.