Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. This is most likely obvious to everyone reading, but the site mods insist.
Summary: See Previous Chapters
CHAPTER THREE
Petunia Dursley was known to everyone living in a ten-mile radius, including Henry and most of the police station, as a horrible gossip, so Natasja was honestly surprised that it had taken Petunia Dursley this long (just over six months) to invite herself over. Most self-inviting guests at least brought along a casserole or similar as a "Welcome-to-the-neighbourhood-here's-something-for-dinner-so-you-don't-have-a-convinient-excuse-to-get-rid-of-us-while-we-pry-your-life-story-out-of-you", but not so with this one.
Petunia brought herself and her own young son, introduced him as the finest boy in the world, (Particularly inadvisable when talking to new mothers, who tend to reserve that title for their own children) and set him down, handing him one of Harry's toys without even asking. She didn't bother to apologize when Dudley knocked over a table holding the urn containing her sister's ashes, a family portrait and a new picture of herself and Harry (luckily, a stack of cushions that had been a gift that she was still trying to decide what to do with softened the fall) as he made a beeline for the sweet jar on the kitchen table, nor did she make any effort to deal with the epic tantrum when the boy encountered the child-proof doors. She did, however, look on the verge of protesting when Natasja firmly placed Dudley in the play-pen, handed him a plush puppy, and picked Harry up, but thankfully refrained.
Not five minutes into an uninvited visit, and Natasja was already trying to think of a reason to kick them out.
The feeling intensified when Petunia sat down, picked up Natasja's teacup, rather than wait for Natasja to pour her a new one, and started talking about her low opinion of single mothers, strangers, and women in any profession other than stay-at-home mother and housewife.
Natasja wondered if Mrs Dursley noticed that her host was all three of those things, gritted her teeth, and yanked the subject back to safer topics such as the latest fashions and the quality of education in today's schools.
Petunia reminded Natasja of one of her aunts back home; bearable over the phone (where she couldn't see you doing something else while rolling your eyes and largely ignoring her as she nattered on) and in very small doses, as long as you avoided certain topics. Natasja knew there was a reason that her cousins preferred to spend most of Christmas day with their in-laws.
Even small doses of Mrs Dursley, however, quickly wore a person out, and Natasja was forced to 'remember' a visit to the doctor to make sure that Harry wasn't suffering any lasting effects from before she had adopted him. She didn't mention details, both because she didn't want it spread all over the neighbourhood, and because vague generalities were so much more effective than exact descriptions.
Still, that turned out to be a good thing, as the very hint that her precious 'Duddykins' might be exposed to something had Mrs Dursley out of the door like a shot. And without so much as a 'thank-you', but Natasja wasn't about to complain. Petunia was leaving and hopefully wouldn't be returning for a while, so Natasja wasn't about to call her back for something as simple as lack of a proper good-bye.
Really, though, "Good-bye" was probably everyone's favourite phrase from Mrs Dursley's lips.
Natasja waited until the door had slammed behind them, glad that the appointment to make sure that Harry was in good health and completely recovered from his brush with exposure had been yesterday, and then put Harry down for his nap and went searching for the aspirin.
Something told her that being a rude, over-opinionated, nosy, gossiping shrew was not an adequate reason for a restraining order, regardless of whether or not most of the Bobbies agreed with you, or most of the local community would have tried it years ago.
Harry had been a lot more interested in the wrapping paper on his Birthday presents than the gifts themselves, but spent days lugging around his new stuffed dragon, enchanted to roar whenever Harry yelled "Charge!"
Natasja had known that letting the Police Sargent come over for tea and to tell Harry a nap-time tales when he was off-duty was a bad idea, even if the older man did have a gift for storytelling. Unfortunately, all of his tales seemed to be slightly-veiled recounting of various work-related incidents.
Henry had been smart enough to side with his new girlfriend and not laugh, but the rest of the station, especially those who had children and had gone through the same thing, thought it was hysterically funny. Natasja supposed that she should be grateful that, despite the station's best efforts, Harry's first string of words was "Mama, no naptime!" and not "Freeze, Police!"
Voicing that opinion to Henry, when "More 'Cots, please" (ironically, very similar to some of Natasja's first sentences, when she had refused to eat much aside from apricots)and "Drop your weapons!" were Harry's second and third string of words, respectively, had resulted in gales of laughter and their first kiss.
Of course, it wasn't all fun and semi-peaceful. Dumbledore had apparently decided that enough time had passed after Snape's attempted abduction, and chose to try again.
Happily or unhappily, depending on who you asked, he fared no better than his lackey had. Chief Warlock or not, some pain pathways, generally taught as the first thing a girl should know about self-defense, are simply impossible to ignore. Furthermore, it is very hard to cast spells when a large marble rolling pin has just broken your wand arm, which was why Natasja had purchased it in addition to a plain wooden one, which she used for actual cooking.
Dumbledore responded with the inventive use of some words that Natasja had heard before, and which caused her to cover Harry's ears. Henry was grinning just a bit too widely as he dragged a limping Dumbledore back to the station, prompting the older wizard to add several words that Natasja hadn't heard before, but was certainly going to keep in mind. She happily envisioned Dumbledore explaining this one to whoever he asked to mend his broken arm, especially as the medic at the station had probably already put it in a cast.
The incident, on top of the time they had spent dating, was also apparently enough for Henry to confirm that she was a goddess and the kind of woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. With Natasja and Harry still adjusting to their new lives, and having been dating only a few months, she told him to ask her again in a year.
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A/N: Next chapter done!
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Thanks to my awesome reviewers: Gseven, Update, TheSapphireGoddess, Naginator, mumimeanjudy, Airlady, Ravenclaw Slytherin, KaleidoscopeKate and RuuunItsJasmine.
Thanks, Nat