The next few days passed quickly as preparations for the ball began to take over take the training house. Lessons had ended for those students who would be leaving and they could often be found wandering the halls, buzzing with excitement as the serving crew, musicians, and a few early guests began to arrive.
Their nightly dinners had become much more subdued with the addition of the occasional fancy gentleman and every so often an elegant lady not unlike Inara herself. The companion proved to be a perfect hostess but her attempts to cajole her guests from Serenity and those there specifically for the ball into conversation fell thin. Josephine couldn't help not being surprised at the others unwillingness to engage themselves in communications with their new Alliance guests, especially given Serenity's less than reputable history. Simon and River were the most closed off, giving only their first names when asked, but Mal set the example by tersely and vaguely answering every question thrown his way. Josephine wasn't able to hide her shock when Mal introduced himself as Captain Harbatkin. She'd never heard him give an alias though the others didn't so much as raise an eyebrow.
Josephine tried to walk quickly down the corridor towards the meeting with Ivani on the day of the ball, but the throng of excited young girls impeded her greatly. She hadn't been to a session since the day she had offended River earlier that week and she was more than determined to make up for it. It was high time she made good on her promise to Inara. If there was any way she could help Mira... and the others, she had to try. It had taken her too long already and she was sickened to realize how selfish she'd become. She'd told no one, including Mal, of her encounter with the young pilot and it seemed River was determined to ignore her attempts at an apology.
She actually had a reason for being late for once as she pushed past a small group of girls to enter the room, but it didn't stop Ivani from shooting her a reproachful glance as she tried to sneak in.
"Josephine, I see you've stooped to grace us with your presence. Please be seated."
Jo blushed scarlet as all the women, save Mira, glanced her way and the comradery she had once shared with them seemed all but gone as they regarded her with foreign eyes. Her absences had made her a stranger to the women she'd once regarded as sisters, women she thought she would have done anything for. Women she'd endangered herself for by meeting with Nash. Briefly, Josephine felt a small pang for the man who had seemed so earnest in helping them but pushed it to the back of her mind quickly. She thought she had been single minded in her pursuit of their freedom even though she'd lied to herself and Mal as to exactly how far she would go.
Now was her chance to prove herself to them. She had made up her mind that the majority of her time left at the training house would be spent with these women, especially Mira, regaining their trust and helping them to the best of her ability. Though as she took her seat in the back of the room she had absolutely no idea how she would accomplish this.
Mira ignored her as she sat down next to her, but she had to admit she was almost relieved that the young girl didn't try to touch her. After a few moments of trying and failing to get Mira's attention, Josephine turned her attention to the other women. She could tell immediately that little if no progress had been made. Each woman seemed withdrawn, barely listening to Ivani's droning, their eyes showing the slightest hint of contempt at being lectured by a woman they hardly knew.
Jo allowed herself a bit of optimism that even the faintest trace of emotion shone in their eyes and she suddenly had an idea. Her hand shot up and she almost laughed at the reminder of her school days.
"Excuse me Ivani, but may I speak to you privately a moment?"
Ivani looked a bit startled at being interrupted but nodded and motioned for Josephine to come to her. Jo stood up and joined her at the front of the classroom, leaning towards the older woman for some semblance of seclusion.
"Inara had told me you have a past similar to theirs... ours," Jo whispered, "and that's what makes you qualified to help... us."
Ivani's eyes widened but she nodded.
"Have you told them?"
"Well... no, that's private."
Josephine couldn't stop the frown from gracing her lips. "If you want them to trust you, to open up to you... you should open to them first. Let them know you've been hurt like they have, that you are one of them."
Jo watched the heavy weight of comprehension fall into Ivani's eyes, though the woman looked aghast at the idea.
"Do you really think...?" The woman's usual confident attitude seemed somewhat diminished.
"Yes... please Ivani, they deserve your honesty."
"I'll try, but I can make no promises."
Josephine hadn't expected any more than this and she nodded swiftly before returning to her place at the back of the room.
Ivani hesitated for a moment, her eyes wandering briefly over the young women, most of them studying her with curious eyes.
"It's been brought to my attention," she began, shooting a quick glance in Jo's direction, "that I've told you almost nothing of myself. Perhaps I should have begun with this, but if you will allow me too, I could tell you now."
None of the women in the room made any protest so Ivani continued slowly.
"I wasn't always a companion... I actually began my training quite late, but that is besides the point. I grew up with my mother in Beaumonde, who was a whore before and after my birth. I don't mean any offense by the term, I only mean to say she wasn't a registered companion." Ivani paused a moment, trying to choose her words with care. "My father was one of her many... clients, and I never knew him. She wasn't... the best of mothers I suppose but I don't really have much to compare her to."
She stopped for a moment and looked down before continuing as she fought the memories she had tried to forget. "The money was never great but as my mother grew older and her looks began to fade it practically stopped coming in at all. When I was twelve and had begun to mature, I was... sold," her voice cracked suddenly, breaking her flat monotone, "to one of my mothers old clients, an old man who claimed to own a bordello on a far off moon." She drew a breath as though to collect herself and looked up to find the others watching her with wide eyes. "Needless to say I never saw that moon. As bad as what my mother had done, I don't think she knew what he had intended. I lived as little more than a slave to this man who I came to find was involved in all manner of nefarious business practices. For four years I was his bargaining chip, tossed about as a gift to his cohorts. They were the worst sort of men with insatiable... desires I hadn't thought existed. They did things... I, well perhaps I should just show you."
Ivani stood up so fast that the women who were closest to her jumped and drew back. She drew up the loose fabric that hid her arms from view and Josephine gasped in astonishment. It would be easier to say that her arm was riddled with untouched skin between the shiny pink scar tissue in varying shapes and sizes than to describe the scars themselves. Next she lifted her skirt just high enough for them to see that her left leg was actually a prosthetic, though very convincingly made. Lastly, she drew the front of her shirt up to the middle of her stomach, revealing the soft round skin that came with age. But directly in the middle was a scar so similar to Josephine's that her own hand flew involuntarily to her own abdomen as she blanched,
"You'll forgive me for not telling you the unpleasant details that caused these," Ivani continued, lowering her shirt once again, "but I know you already have experiences with them. I'm not saying that my pain is any more important or greater than your own, just know that I have been there and I have come through it." She sat back down and looked them all over. "It wasn't easy, and there were many times when I was ready to give up everything just to make the pain go away, but I got through it... and so can you."
Ivani seemed to slump farther into the chair and Josephine could tell the address had wearied the older woman. Josephine looked at the other woman in the room and was pleased to see that it had seemed to have some sort of effect on them. Even Mira's eyes seemed to shine with some sort of recognition.
"If you'll excuse me," Ivani said as she stood up slowly. "I think that's all for the day, I'm suddenly very tired."
Josephine watched as she left the room through a side door, shutting it quietly behind her. The other women all turned at once and began to whisper to each other in reverence. Jo turned her head towards Mira, still seated silently by her side.
"Mira?"
The young girl made no indication that she heard her, but kept her eyes trained on the chair Ivani had just vacated.
Josephine reached out tentatively, not forgetting the images they had shared earlier that week, and grasped the younger woman's shoulder lightly. Mira turned her head sharply to the side but just as soon as Josephine focused on her frightened face it began to blur.
She opened her mouth to speak and even managed to force a "Wait!" from her throat before the room around her dissolved.
She found herself laying on her back in the familiar bed of Bryce Rawley. The man in question loomed above her, stripped to the waist and frowning down at her. She raised her head slightly off the bed and peered down her own body. Not only was she naked but she realized immediately that it wasn't her body she was looking at, but Mira's.
Rawley's hand swung down suddenly and cuffed her harshly against the cheek. Her breathe caught in her throat and she opened her mouth to cry out but no sound issued from it.
"You fainted my dear. You know I insist you stay awake when I'm working."
Rawley drew his hand from her cheek and her eyes widened at the sight of blood glistening on his fingers. Raising one hand to his mouth, Rawley slipped a finger between his lips, licking the red fluid off his own skin.
Josephine's eyes widened and the bile rose in her throat as she watched him tasting her blood... Mira's blood.
"Mmmm, delicious...," Rawley raised his hand above her face, a knife clutched loosely in his palm, already wet with blood. "Now where were we?"
He turned the point of the knife towards the cheek he had hit and pressed it against her flesh just under the tip of her right eyebrow. Josephine could feel the skin break and opened her mouth once again without making a sound. He drew the knife slowly down her cheek, holding her head in place with his other hand as she struggled against him. Her vision became spotted and blurred again, and as the pain became too much, she welcomed the darkness that overtook her.
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"I can't find anything wrong with her Mal... at least not physically."
"Well... try harder, cause something ain't right!"
Simon and Mal's voices floated through Josephine's mind, rousing her, and she opened her eyes wearily. She found herself staring at the high ceiling of she and the Captain's lavish room at the training house and she turned her head to the side in search of the voices. Mal and Simon stood towards the far side of the room, not bothering to keep their voices down.
"People don't just pass out for no reason!"
"Apparently they do," the doctor retorted, "cause she's fine!"
She'd passed out? As if on cue the images of what she'd seen from Mira's mind came back to her and she sat up quickly, getting their attention.
Mal rushed over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"What happened?"
Josephine shook her head and raised a hand to her mouth. "I'm going to be sick," she replied meekly through her hand and scrambled off the bed in the direction of the lavatory, Mal and Simon on her heels. She sank to her knees in front of the head and her throat convulsed, forcing the bile to rise. Jo shivered slightly as Mal's hands pulled her hair off her neck and behind her head as she retched into the bowl. She heard the sound of water running and moments later felt a cool rag pressed to the back of her neck.
When she was finished she sat back on her heels and ran a hand over her damp forehead. Simon pressed a glass of water into her palm which she accepted thankfully and drained in one gulp.
Josephine rose to her feet somewhat shakily and Mal followed her out to the main room, a worried look in his eyes.
Sighing, Jo sank down to the edge of the bed and turned to regard the two men. "How did I get here?"
"Efram," Mal responded, "He heard a commotion and came out of his room to investigate. You were on the floor and he sent someone to get us... what happened?"
Josephine shook her head again. "It was nothing really, I'm fine. It wasn't even me."
Mal looked confused and paced in front of her. "What in the diyu does that mean, it wasn't you?"
"Mira... I touched her and she transferred something to me, a memory I think. River could explain it better."
Simon stepped forward, eyes wide. "Mira did this?"
Josephine nodded. "Not intentionally, at least I think not, but that's besides the point cause I'm fine... really. It was just a bit unsettling is all."
"A memory of Rawley?" Mal asked quietly.
"Yes, but like I said, I'm fine."
"Listen to her Mal, I checked her over... there's nothing wrong with her," Simon stated. "So if you'll excuse me, if I don't start getting ready for this ball Kaylee will have my head."
"Oh no, what time is it?" Josephine asked after Simon had left the room.
"'Bout five thirty."
"Oh goushi!" Josephine jumped off the bed and made for the door. "I'm supposed to be in Inara's room getting ready."
Mal leapt after her and grabbed her arm. "Your not still gonna go, after what happened?"
"I have to Mal, I promised Kaylee. I'll see you down there."
Josephine wiggled out of Mal's grasp and flung open the door, almost running down the corridor, the ball that she had been dreading a welcome distraction from the conversation Mal wished to have.
Mal watched her go for a moment before shaking his head and closing the door behind her.
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Josephine had allowed herself to be dressed in the beautiful white gown, her hair prodded and pulled until it rested atop her head, a few loose tendrils falling down over her neck, but she drew the line when Inara came towards her with a satchel filled with lipsticks, rouges and other feminine torture devices that Jo had never seen before.
Inara backed off immediately bet Kaylee pressed a little harder until Jo let her brush on the faintest hint of rouge and a little perfume that smelt softly of fresh flowers just to placate her.
Now River, Kaylee, Zoe and Jo made their way slowly to the ballroom, Inara having left them earlier to play hostess.
"They aren't going to announce us are they?" Josephine asked to Kaylee's frilly back.
"No," the mechanic responded. "Simon was anxious of that himself and asked 'Nara. It's formal, but not that formal."
Josephine released a breath she hadn't even known she was holding as the large doors of the ballroom came into view. They were propped open and the mingling of hundreds of voices floated out to them. Zoe and Josephine shared an apprehensive look as an overly excited Kaylee led them in.
The circular room was packed, threatening to spill onto the dance floor, and Josephine was amazed that it had somehow remained empty. Josephine spotted a small orchestra positioned at the far end of the room, though they had yet to begin playing. She had expected the room to be stifling what with the multitude of people crammed into it and was surprised to feel a gentle breeze issuing from above. She glanced up, searching for the source of the breeze and her mouth fell open in awe. The entire circular ceiling that covered the dance floor had been retracted somehow and she was now staring up into the night sky, millions of twinkling stars blinking back at her.
She looked back in front of her just in time to see Zoe's back disappear into the crowd and she momentarily panicked at being left behind. Straining her head to see through the cluster of people, she searched for any glimpse of Mal and the others but she couldn't find them.
"Welcome everyone." Inara's sweet voice floated from across the room and, as the room fell silent, Josephine pushed her way forward until she came to the railing and her view was unobstructed.
"I would like to thank you all for coming to honor these young women as they begin their careers. As is customary, I invite our male guests to seek out one of our newest alumni and lead them to the floor for the first dance." Inara smiled and left the small podium as the orchestra began to play.
Josephine turned her head to the side as the throng of men at her back pressed forward to engage the young women in a dance. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Kaylee leading a dashing looking Simon onto the floor in front of the others and smiled brightly. She turned around, still chuckling, but stopped abruptly when she found a young man, who couldn't be more that twenty, standing in front of her. He was dressed elegantly in dark silks and a short cape over one shoulder.
"May I have this dance milady?" The young man held an arm out to her.
Josephine blushed and ignored the arm. "I'm not a companion and I'm afraid I'm an awful dancer."
"That hardly matters to me," he smiled boyishly at her.
Jo stared at him a moment, as though considering it, but jumped slightly when she felt a warm hand on her bare shoulder.
"She's taken."
The young man's gaze found Mal over her shoulder and his smile slipped somewhat before he bowed, a quick jerking of his head, and retreated.
Josephine turned to find Mal standing close to her, his eyes raking down her dress before coming to rest on her face. Jo took a moment to admire his fine clothes and then searched his eyes for any clue as to what he thought, but his expression remained unreadable.
Reaching out a hand, Mal tucked a loose strand of hair behind Josephine's ear before resting his palm lightly against her cheek.
"You look... different."
Her eyes widening slightly, Jo gazed up at him in question. "Different bad... or different good?"
Mal finally broke into a smirk, his eyes shining with heat. "Which one will get me in the least amount of trouble?"
Josephine laughed and tried to cuff him lightly on the chin, but Mal caught her hand in his own and lowered it between them.
"Honestly though, you look beautiful," Mal said softly. He released her hand and brought his own to the bare skin above her decolletage, spanning his fingers across her flesh and dragging them down until they rested on the exposed upper portion of her breasts. "And I do like this," he continued, his voice low. "Though maybe not in public. You see darlin', I can be powerful jealous when the need arises."
Josephine's chest had begun to rise and fall heavily at Mal's words, and she stepped closer, pressing herself against the line of his body as though she'd forgotten just how much in public they were.
"You have nothing to be jealous about."
Moving his hand under her chin, Mal tilted her head upwards so he could look in her eyes. "Good to know." He closed what little distance there still was between them swiftly, and captured her mouth in a chaste kiss that held the promise of something more, for when they were behind closed doors.
He pulled back just as quickly as he had moved in, allowing the appropriate amount of decorum that polite society required, though he found her hand again, holding it loosely in his own.
"Now... when are you going to tell me exactly what happened this afternoon?"
Josephine sighed and looked towards her feet. "Later Mal... I'll tell you later."
"Ok... but you're sure you're alright?"
"Yes," she said as she glanced back up at him. "I promise."
Mal smiled down at her and began to pull her away from the railing. "Come on." He led her through the crowd towards two tables that had been pushed together near the railing and she hung onto his hand tightly, afraid of getting swallowed up in the multitude of moving bodies.
Simon and Kaylee were still dancing, but Zoe and Jayne sat rigidly at the table while River hovered next to the banister, swaying slightly to the music. The large mercenary looked up as Mal pulled a chair out for Josephine, his eyes bulging slightly as they roved over her body.
"You best be puttin' those eyes back Jayne," Mal said sharply as he shot a glare Jayne's way, "lest you be losing them."
Jayne checked himself and began studying the table top as Mal and Jo sat down. River turned abruptly away from the dancers and let her eyes wander over the people seated behind her before coming to rest determinedly on Jayne. She walked over to him gracefully and picked his large hand up from the table, getting his attention. Smiling gently, River tugged on his hand, trying to entice him to stand up but Jayne just shook his head.
"No way... no gorram way!"
River dropped his hand back to the table and put her own delicate ones on her waste as she frowned down at him.
"Better to go willingly Jayne," Zoe spoke up, her voice tinkling with amusement. "She can make you if she wants."
Jayne got to his feet, mumbling curses under his breath, and allowed River to grudgingly lead him to the dance floor.
"Well there's something I thought I'd die before seeing," Mal grinned as he watched Jayne lead River clumsily around the floor, wincing as the large man tread on her foot. "And come to think of it, I wish I still hadn't."
As the hour grew later and later, many of the guests retired until the room was only half as full as it was at the beginning of the evening. Jayne came back after two dances and flat out refused to dance again, instead immersing himself in the open bar, but River was able to find many a willing partner and rarely returned to the table. Kaylee and Simon returned occasionally, their faces flushed, only to depart again after a few minutes and Inara stopped by every so often to see how everyone was before moving on to mingle with more of her guests. Even Zoe joined in a dance with a young man who looked both in awe of and afraid that she had accepted.
River fell into Mal's vacated chair, he and Jayne having gone to the bar for a moment, and startled Josephine from her silent enjoyment of watching Zoe's young man guide her across the dance floor.
She regarded the young woman a moment before opening her mouth to speak.
"River, can I talk to you for a moment?"
River turned calm eyes to her but didn't speak and Jo took this as a sign of acquiescence.
"I just wanted to apologize for what I said the other day, I didn't mean it, at least not how it sounded. I've been thinking... it's just that with everything that's happened in my life... and now that it's over, I've been striving for something... I don't know... a sense of normalcy perhaps."
River nodded and Jo continued. "And with what happened with Mira, I guess it just didn't fit in with my own ideas of what's normal, which sounds ridiculous I know... but there it is."
River regarded her silently a moment before breaking into a wide smile. "I knew that, but you needed to know." Just as soon as the smile came it vanished and River regarded her pensively. "Which of us is normal? Which of us wants to be? Do not strive for it, it is a lost cause."
Josephine smiled at the young woman's eerie wisdom. "Thank you."
Mal and Jayne appeared behind them suddenly and the Captain frowned down at River.
"You're in my seat Albatross... get."
River jumped up and stuck her tongue out at Mal before sinking back into Jayne's empty seat just before the large man could. Jayne grumbled and moved over, not willing to argue with the young woman.
Mal sat down and drained his drink, plunking it down roughly on the table top before turning to Josephine. "Alright, I've had some whiskey, my inhibitions are slightly lowered... so if you want to dance now would be the time."
Josephine's eyes widened but smiled at the Captain's odd way of asking. She honestly hadn't expected him to.
"Are you sure?"
"Might not get another chance," Mal said, indicating the lateness of the evening.
"Very well, but if I tread on your feet you can't get angry," Josephine said as she rose to her feet, Mal following suit.
"Xin gan, I think it'd be more likely that I'd tread on your feet."
Mal escorted her around the railing towards the steps that led down to the dance floor slowly. They were forced to stop for a moment, and allow the couples exiting the dance floor to pass by. As they waited Josephine watched a young serving boy pass by, wringing an empty tray in his hands. The young man kept shooting nervous looks in their direction and Jo had a nagging sensation that she'd seen him somewhere before.
The throng of people passed by and Mal made to move on but Josephine paused, seeing that the serving boy had stopped a few feet away, directly across from him. The serving tray began to fall from his shaking hands and Josephine thought she saw a different flash of metal, but it wasn't until River shrieked loudly from behind them that Jo knew what she was seeing.
The young boy had pulled a gun from somewhere on his person and now had his shaking arm pointed in her direction. At the same time that River had screamed, Mal rushed forward and the combination made the nervous boy's shot go wide. Josephine felt a sharp prick as the bullet just barely grazed her arm and looked down in surprise.
All at once the room erupted in chaos. Women screamed and men shouted as their feet thundered across the ground, unsure of what had happened.
"What has happened?" Inara asked as she hurried over, her face shining with fear. Her eyes fell on Mal and the young boy as the wrestled together on the ground. The Captain's initial rush had sent the young boy tumbling backwards and the gun had skidded across the floor.
Inara took one look and dove back into the crowd, shouting for everyone to be calm and ordering them out and back to their rooms.
Josephine felt herself pushed back into the railing as the remaining people on the dance floor hastened up the steps and out the doors. Simon and Kaylee were amongst them but stopped as they saw Jo.
The Doctor took a look at the trickle of blood sliding down her arm. "How badly are you hurt?"
"Not at all, it's just a graze," Josephine answered numbly.
The room was empty now, save for Serenity's crew and Inara, who had reemerged quickly once the others were safely out. Josephine stepped around Simon and took a step towards Mal, watching as Zoe and Jayne appeared suddenly to offer there assistance. But Mal had the young boy pinned and he had stopped struggling and only gazed up at the Captain in shock.
"Zoe," Mal called out, tilting his head in the direction the gun had slid. The first mate went to retrieve it and placed it in Mal's outstretched hand. Without even being asked Jayne knelt behind the young boy's head and placed his large hands against his shoulders, pressing him roughly into the hard floor.
Now that Mal's hands were free he pushed the barrel of the gun sharply into the young boys temple. His eyes widening, the young boy tried to renew his struggles but Mal lifted the gun and brought the butt down harshly against the boys skull, causing his eyes to roll back briefly into his head and his struggling to cease.
Mal once again placed the tip of the gun against the boys head as he waited for his eyes to refocus. "Who were you aiming at? Me?"
The boy shook his head frantically from side to side and began shaking in fear.
"Stop it! Stop shaking!" Mal snarled down at him and finally grabbed the boy by the hair, lifted his head a few inches off the ground and letting it drop with a thud. The boy stopped moving, though it looked as though it took some effort, and a fine tremor still ran through his body.
"Mal stop," Josephine spoke, surprised to hear her voice sound so numb. "He's terrified..."
The Captain ignored her and continued with his questions. "Then if not me, who?"
"The wwwoman in the wwwhite dress," the boy responded meekly, his voice quivering.
"Do you know her name?" Mal pressed on calmly.
"Yyyes."
"Say it."
"Josephine Rrrawley," he complied quickly.
Mal pressed the gun harder into the boys temple. "And why are you trying to kill her?" he asked calmly.
"Because my master has instructed me too."
"Who's your master?"
The young boy began to shake again and mumble. "No, no, no, no, no... I can't," he whispered.
"Jayne." The large man reached up and took the gun from Mal, still keeping it pressed into the boy's head as Mal reached down towards the young boys hand and traced a finger over his index finger.
"Is this your trigger finger?" Mal asked innocently. The boy nodded and tears began to leak out of the corners of his eyes.
Josephine watched as Mal pinched the small finger between two of his own and suddenly realized what he meant to do.
"Mal don't!" Her protest came to late and the Captain pulled the finger back forcefully, snapping it with an audible pop as though it were no more than a twig, until it lay limply against the back of his hand.
The boy screamed loudly and Josephine cried out, her hand flying to her mouth in distress.
Mal released the boys hand and grabbed the gun back from Jayne. "Next time you loose the entire hand dong ma? ... Who sent you?"
The young boy looked up at Mal with wide eyes as though he were seeing him for the first time and didn't hesitate to answer.
"Nash... Nash Rawley."