THE ADVENTURES OF THE ARNELLO BROTHERS: EPSIODE 43 "THE SNARKY DIAGNOSTICIAN"
Billy stroked his brother's hand.
"You know I love you, bro" Joey murmured.
"Yeah, I know. Just try to get some rest, okay?"
Joey smiled weakly and his eyes flickered to a close.
Bill sat by the bed and watched his brother sleep.
He was a good kid really. Just a little…screwed up, that's all.
Bill smiled as he remembered games of baseball they had played togther as kids.
With that thought, Bill closed his eyes.
Suddenly the door opened and a lanky, suited man walked in flanked by two neckless goons.
Bill was on his feet, fingers near his gun in his belt.
The lanky man put up his hands.
"Now Billy, we're not here to cause trouble."
He gestured toward Joey.
"I just wanted to check how my boy's doing. Heard he was a bit under the weather."
The man took one of the spare chairs.
"How would it look if word got around that I wasn't visiting my sick friends?" the man finished with a nice smile.
Billy breathed again. If he was smart, he might get through this.
"He's alright, Boss. He's just tired, that's all."
Boss nodded.
"What's wrong with him?"
"Food poisoning. Ate some bad steak."
The Boss nodded again and rested his chin on his hands.
Eventually he spoke.
"I know you're not sleeping Joey. You better talk to me."
Joey's eyes slowly opened. They were full of worry.
Boss shook his head, slowly.
"Little Joey Arnello. You came to me when you were seventeen and I gave you a job. But now you do this to me. I'm sorry, Joe."
Joey's eye's widened.
"No! NURSE! NUR-"
There was a spray of red and Joey slumped back his bed.
Billy tried to leap forward but NoNeck1 dragged him towards the door.
Which was opened by that git of a blonde doctor.
"Okay Joe, we can."
The doctor looked up into the shocked faces.
"What the hell's going-"
The doctor took in the scene. A huge man was holding Billy, there was a strong smell of blood and-
"HOLY SHIT!"
Another man Chase hadn't seen before pointed at him dramatically.
"KILL HIM!"
Chase let out a small squeak and turned and ran as the glass shattered behind him.
"Damn it, Mangobreath" yelled Boss as a nurse glanced over at them and went back to her gossiping
"Sorry Boss" murmured the NN2 .
A man was walking past but came back and took in the glass shards.
He looked up at the men in anger.
"I'm Edward Vogler. I can't help but notice you're shooting my windows. Do you know how much these things cost?"
BANG.
"MANGOBREATH!"
The man not holding Billy shifted nervously.
"Sorry. When I get nervous I shoot people."
THE GUARD ROOM
The two guards, Ben and Frank, were sitting having a cup of tea and talking about the one thing that all men think about.
"But as a Utilitarianist, it would be your duty to save the cancer specialist. He would go on to save lives. The fact your mother's in the burning house is unimportant."
Frank nodded but raised a finger.
"Wait. Are we talking Act or Rule?"
Ben puffed out his cheeks and lent back in his chair.
"Ah. Now that's a good question. I, for one, have always favoured Act as I believe mankind must be able to adapt to every new moment."
It was then a flurried Doctor Chase flung open the door.
He took in the calm scene.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"
Frank glowered at the rude man.
"Now, steady on Doc. Me and Ben here were having a nice cupper when you burst in all excited. Now calm down and tell us what's wrong."
Chase's mouth flapped like a guppy.
Eventually he was able to squeak out
"Haven't you got an alarm to this place?"
Ben grinned a big smile.
"Hasn't worked since ooooh 2002. The pharmacist kept hitting the button cause that nice Doctor House was taking pills. Did our nuts in, that ringing did. So we took the wires out."
"He's a nice man, that House. He gave me a Gameboy to give to my Timmy. He'd always wanted one," Frank added.
Ben turned around in his chair.
"How is young Timmy?"
"He's going to be 7 next May."
Ben gasped.
"Seven! How they grow."
Chase watched in amazement as the useless guards continued to talk then stormed out of the room.
THE HALLWAY
Billy was being pushed towards the lift by NoNeck1 aka Twist O' Lime.
"Don't stop and talk to anyone. Just keep-" whispered Mango.
"Mr Arnello!" came a girl's voice from behind them.
Bill tensed but Boss pushed him forwards.
"Stop, Mr Arnello. I needed you to sign your brother's clearance forms"
"HOLD THE LIFT!" shouted Lime.
"Stop, you're going too fast! I can't run in heels"
The lift door closed.
"Stairs." Boss mumbled and turned just to come face to face the girl.
A vest wearing girl.
Interesting.
Vesty smiled, a little puffed.
"You're in quite a hurry, aren't you?" she said as Lime put a hand on Billy's shoulder.
She turned to Boss.
"Doctor Cameron." Vesty said with a big "Let's be pals" smile.
"We're Mr Arnello's business colleagues" Boss said, looking the doctor up and down
"Nice to meet you."
Cameron pushed a form into Billy's hand.
"Now if you sign this, I'll go get Joey"
Billy scrawled something on the paper and then Mango pushed him into the opening lift.
Boss turned round and gave his polite smile.
"Lovely. We'll go get the car."
"Okay. I'll see you later" said Cameron with a wave.
She turned around and began to walk back to Joey's room, whistling a Disney tune.
That was the best bit of the job. You meet such nice people.
CUDDY'S OFFICE.
Cuddy walked back and forth on the carpet as House mumbled to himself.
"Federal cour- Damn. Federal court or- DAMN IT!"
He threw his cane down in anger.
Cuddy looked up in annoyance.
"Calm down House. He told me not to let you go home before he screamed at you."
House kicked his cane back into his hands and got up.
"Looks like we'll be here for a while" and began to touch the bookcase.
"You must have put the lovebed behind one of these. I mean why bother taking him to a motel when you can do it here."
House looked at an unamused Cuddy.
"Or do you use a room? Stick his legs in the birthing stirrups and go to town?"
Cuddy rolled her eyes.
Outside, somewhere, there was the sound of gunshots.
Probably someone's car backfiring she thought to herself.
The door flew open and the Ducklings poured in.
"DOCTOR CUDDY!"
Cuddy sat down at her desk, took a nip from a hipflask and gestured the doctors on resignedly.
They glanced at each other and began to talk at once.
"I was just talking to the guards and they wouldn't help me so I threw a shoe at the door and they locked me in a cupboard-"
"I went to sign Joey out and Vogler was there but he was asleep so I went through the wall-"
"Cameron woke me up from my nap!"
Cuddy sighed.
"One at a time now!"
"Joey's been shot!" cried Chase.
"Vogler too!" whined Cameron as her eyes filled with tears.
"I was dreaming I had an Afro and a helicopter!" barked Foreman with anger.
House looked up.
"Vogler's dead. I'm out of here!"
"Get back here House!" shouted Cuddy.
House shook his head.
"Sounds like you have enough to deal with without me."
He turned around in the doorway.
"Anyway it's a new OC tonight. Ryan might hit someone. It's unmissable!"
Wilson was standing by the lift.
"Shouldn't you be gone by now?" said House as they went down.
"I don't like to ride the lift alone" Wilson said simply.
House limped his way out of the hospital towards his shiny new car, neatly dodging the four dead men in the carpark.
After all this was Princeton.
These things happen.