TW: Suicide
Barker Rowland, District 7
"I made a lot of mistakes
In my mind, in my mind."
Sufjan Stevens, Chicago
My mind is still reeling. Jack's death still hasn't stopped hurting, not by a long shot, but the idea that he has a child on the way reopens old wounds that it took a lot of time and effort to close.
In truth, I still blame myself. Who wouldn't? Whatever happened to me that I believed Hawthorn would protect my son so long as I did what he asked? I was a fool, and Jack had paid the price. Now it looked as though Dana, and Jack's child, would, too.
It didn't matter, though. I'd gotten my vengeance. I'd killed six people in my Games, four of whom were trained killers, but none of them felt as good as killing Hawthorn. As the bullet flew out of my gun, I knew that my quest for revenge was satisfied. And now neither Hawthorn nor I would ever be able to hurt someone again.
Except that wasn't true. The full force of Javier's words hit me then and there. "If word gets out that you lied to protect Hawthorn, there will be backlash. You'd be putting her in danger. If you truly value your grandson's life, you'll use this within the hour." That's what he'd said. Only now did it occur to me that he was threatening me. If I was still alive when he came back, he would tell the world that I tried to protect a psychopath and Dana would be killed. Which left me with no choice.
I checked the chamber on the gun and saw that it was fully loaded. I slowly raised the barrel to my forehead. I let my finger rest on the trigger before I actually used it. Jack, I'm coming, I thought to myself. I took in one last gulp of air and pulled the trigger.
I know this one was a lot shorter, but I didn't want to give him a huge amount of screen time, especially considering that he was one of the biggest characters in 40th HG. I loved his whole design and arc, and to this day he's one of the greatest characters I've ever created. He's definitely a snake, but he redeemed himself in the end, and for that I'll always love him.
I also know a lot of you probably read this already, but I've got 75 chapters to write and I just decided to let one slide a little. I still think this is one of the better ideas for a chapter I've had.
So brings another decade to a close! This one was a wild ride, from the introduction of modern Arenas to the formation of the modern Career pack, this decade saw the Games do a lot of the evolving into the Games that become unchallenged tradition until the 3rd Quarter Quell.
Next decade is a bit of a stranger one, since it's the only decade with no canon Victors, but there's a few twists coming that'll definitely change up where this story's going, including the much anticipated Quell.