This story takes place before Harry's 5th year. He's at Grimmauld Place and hasn't gone to his hearing yet. Keep in mind that this isn't supposed to be taken seriously. At least not VERY seriously! This story is the result of me trying to make up new and interesting couples. And the main couple in this story is indeed a strange one!
"Siriusly in Love"
Harry had lived at Sirius' place for a week. He was still getting used to the creepiness of that house. He couldn't imagine what it felt like for his beloved godfather to sit in that house day after day. Sirius had told Harry a lot about his past:muggle-hating parents, a "perfect" little brother who was always better than him, moving away from home at the age of 17. Harry remembered the evening he arrived to Grimmauld Place, the slight depression in his godfather's face. Harry understood him perfectly. He remembered all those weeks at the Dursley's. Not knowing anything, dying of boredom! As much as he hated to admit it-he was still kinda pissed at Ron and Hermione for not telling him anything.
Harry couldn't deny the fact that during the last few days Sirius seemed a lot happier. He was constantly writing something on a piece of paper, trying to make words rhyme as if he were writing a poem. He hardly argued with Mrs Weasley anymore and even Snape didn't annoy him that much. One afternoon when Harry and Ron were sitting in their room, Harry decided to talk about it.
Harry:Hey, Ron! Have you noticed something about Sirius lately?
Ron:Something like what?
Harry:You know...the way he seems a lot happier. Did you hear the way he spoke to Snape today? Like they were best friends or something. And he doesn't hit Kreacher anymore. He actually said hello to his mother when she started screaming.
Ron:So what? I don't know how I'd be able to cheer up in his situation. Having to stay in this house I mean.
Harry:That's just it, Ron! One moment he tells me how miserable he is here and now he acts like the happiest guy in the world.
Ron:I don't know. Maybe he's in love or something(laughs)
Harry:...maybe you're right!
Ron:I was only joking!
Harry:No, no! I think it's very possible.
Ron:Sirius doesn't seem like the kind of guy to get all silly because of a girl.
Harry:How would you know?
Ron:Well...when did he have time to fall in love anyway?
Harry:I spent a lot of time away from you guys. I hardly know anything about what happened.
Ron:Trust me-he did not act all happy when you weren't here. Why do you care so much about that anyway?
Harry:What? I want to be happy for him! He spent 12 years in Azkaban for something he didn't do and now he still has to hide himself. I think I want to know who managed to make him cheerful again.
Ron:He barely meets any women in this house!
Harry:But what about...(thinks)..um...
Ron:See?
Harry:Tonks!
Ron:Tonks?
Harry:Yeah! She's kinda like him. A bit young, but...
Ron:Harry! They are related!
Harry:Many people in his family have married relatives.
Ron:That's because they wanted to keep the pureblood thing going. And since neither Tonks or Sirius care much about being purebloods...
Harry:...ok ok! That was a stupid guess. But who else is there?
Ron:There are many women in the Order. But he doesn't really know them all.
Harry:...(thinks)
(Stupid long pause)
Kreacher comes into the room. Looks at Harry.
Kreacher:Stupid little faggot!
Harry:I know you are, but what am I?
Kreacher: (mumbles something and goes away)
Ron:How can Hermione be so defensive of that thing? He's so retarded!
Harry:I know. I wish he were more like Dobby.
Ron:Who's Dobby?
Harry:You know! That house elf that used to serve the Malfoys. He was supposed to appear in GoF, but the people at WB decided to cut him out.
Ron:Poor guy!
Harry:I know.
Ron:Hey! I just had an idea about who Sirius could be in love with.
Harry:Well?
Ron:Um...I was thinking that...maybe he isn't in love with a woman at all.
Harry:Huh?
Ron:You know like...maybe he has other kinds of intere...
Harry:ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT SIRIUS IS GAY?
Ron:Shh! He might hear you downstairs!
Harry:That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Sirius can't be gay!
Ron:How would you know?
Harry:Some friend you are! Calling my godfather gay!
Ron:What? You aren't homophobic, are you?
Harry:You know what? This conversation is over!
Ron:But...
Harry:OVER!(turns his back to Ron)
Ron:But...I...piss off!
Silence...
Harry:Maybe you're right. I mean...it isn't impossible that Sirius is gay.
Ron:Well well! A few minutes ago you were saying osmething completely different!
Harry:Knock it off, will you?
Ron:Why should I?
Harry:Remember when I showed you the thing that muggles call "internet"?
Ron:Yeah?
Harry:Remember those sites we found?
Ron:Uh oh!
Harry:All those stories of Ginny and Draco snogging! All those pictures of me an you...
Ron:Shut up! We swore not to talk about that ever again!
Harry:What were they called? Oh yeah! Yaoi!
Ron:Quiet! I'll get nightmares again!
Harry:Then let's continue our conversation the way it was.
Ron:Ok. Just don't talk about the Yu-gi-oh!
Harry:Yaoi!
Ron:Yes. That's what I meant!
Harry:So...which guy do you think a guy like Sirius would be attracted to?
Ron:I think I know!
Harry:Well?
Ron:Lupin!
Harry:What?
Ron:Don't tell me you didn't suspect anything when those 2 hugged in the Shrieking Shack!
Harry:Ron! That was a brotherly hug! How can you be so immature?
Ron:...(is quiet)
Harry:Besides, Lupin is more likely into kids or women than men.
Ron:Kids?
Harry:Didn't the chocolate, the moustache and those private walks with me seem suspicious?
Ron:...you just made Lupin a little more disturbing for me!
Harry:Sorry!
Ron:I don't think Tonks would apprechiate it if Lupin were gay.
Harry:Huh?
Ron:Haven't you seen the way she startes at him? The poor werewolf has no idea!
Harry:Tonks doesn't have a chance!
RonShe'll never be with a guy like Remus.
Harry:Pink hair is so out!
Ron:And her clumsiness is, like, totally hilarious! The girl is like a walking disaster!
Harry:Her secret weapon is knocking over her enemies after tripping on something.
Harry and Ron giggle for a few seconds. A deliciously evil gossip girl moment!
Harry:So...we have Sirius/Tonks and Sirius/Remus.
Ron:They're both pretty stupid if you ask me.
Kreacher(from the corridor):WHAAAAAAT?
Harry and Ron rush to the door, open it quietly and see Kreacher staring at Sirius with the angriest face a house elf could ever make. Harry saw flowers and a piece of paper on the floor.
Kreacher:Oh, if only my Mistress could see me now! Not only is her house full of mudbloods, mugglelovers and freaks, but now her horrible son is saying such ridiculous things to poor old Kreacher!
Sirius:Please! You have to understand! I know it may sound ridiculous, but...I care about you!
Harry, Ron: (HUGE WTF moment)
Kreacher:He is not well! He lost everything left of his so-called brain in Azkaban!
Sirius:Kreacher, please! I know I always hit you and treated you badly, but...I just realized what a fool I was. Kreacher, darling, please! I love you! I have always loved you!
Ron:Bloody hell!
Harry:Are you fucking serious?
Lupin appears out of nowhere...
Lupin:Not anymore(dissapears again)
Ron:I'm getting really tired of that old joke!
Harry:Sirius! What are you saying?
Sirius:Harry, I know it's hard for you to understand and I never wanted you to find out, but...it's just the way I am.
Harry:You are in love with a house elf?
Sirius:...yes.
Harry: (faints)
Kreacher starts screaming and runs down the stairs. Sirius picks up the flowers on the floor and runs after him. 5 minutes later Harry wakes up.
Harry:Was that for real?
Ron:Yes.
Harry:This is onebeeped up story!
Ron:Oh yes!
Harry:Why would Sirius fall in love with Kreacher?
Ron:I don't know! At least I was right about him being gay.
Harry:I suppose
Ron:...
Harry:...
Ron:...
Harry: (starts crying)
Ron:Cheer up, mate! Love has strange ways. Just think of Hagrid's parents. A giant and a human. How did they...?
Harry:Shut up! I don't want any disturbing images in my head!
Ron:Sorry!
Fred&George:Hello!
They see Harry crying on Ron's shoulder.
Fred:Oh, you found out about Sirius' new love interest.
George:We just came to say that it was all our work!
Harry:What!
Fred:You see, we made some chocolates...
George:...and filled them with love potion.
Fred:We made sure that Sirius eats them...
George:...but little did we know that the first person he would meet is Kreacher.
Fred:I hope you're not too pissed.
Ron:Bloody hell!
Harry:You guys...DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGHT THESE LAST 5 MINUTES?
Fred&George:Sorry! You gotta admit it's kinda funny though.
Harry:Oh yeah! Really funny!
Ron:It'll probably wear off in some time.
Fred:Actually the love potion we made is very strong...
George:...and it could take a long time before Sirius turns normal again.
Harry:Oh come on! There's gotta be an antidote or something!
Fred:Well. We did go to ask Snape for help.
George:We told him the whole story. He was quite amused.
Harry:And what did he say?
Fred:He said he doesn't have some neccessary ingredients at the moment.
George:Getting them could take weeks, perhaps even months.
Ron:Do you think he was telling the truth?
Fred&George:NO!
Fred:It's his dream come true.
George:Sirius Black crazy in love with poor little Kreacher.
Harry:Fg hell!
Ron:Well it IS kinda funny!
Fred and George laugh and leave the room.
Harry:I wonder how they would like it?
Ron:Like what?
Harry:Drinking love potion without knowing it.
Ron:Do you think we should...?
Harry:Yeah!
Ron:But who should we pair them up with?
Harry:With each other!
Ron:That's brilliant!
Harry:Imagine all the happy fangirls!
Ron:Bloody hell!
Harry:Come on! Let's go find a good love potion recipe!
Harry ad Ron run out of the room, both giggling like little girls.