Siriusly in Love part 3
Kreacher was sitting in a dark corner playing around with a bunch of old stuff he had been collecting. Suddenly he saw what he feared the most-Sirius was in the room.
Sirius:Kreacher! Are you trying to hide from me?
Kreacher:I'm trying to find the best way to get rid of you!
Sirius:Aww! Don't be silly! There is no way a house elf could be responsible for my death.
(AAAH! HE SHOULD HAVE SPAT 3 TIMES OVER HIS LEFT SHOULDER!)
Kreacher:Hmph! Stupid...why can't he leave me alone...retard!
Sirius:Oh, stop! You know all those compliments make me blush!
Kreacher:You idiot! Can't you tell when someone is insulting you?
Sirius:Whatever my love says is music to my ears.
Kreacher:I am not your love!(Picks up one of his Black family necklace/locket thingies and throws it at Sirius)
Sirius:Oh, you threw me a present! That's adorable!
Kreacher:It's not a present! Give it back!
Sirius:You shouldn't throw around things you need. But I've got something better for you than this tasteless old snake medallion thing.
(Throws it away and takes something from his pocket)
Sirius:Look what I have for you! It's a necklace with one half of a heart.
(Puts it around Kreacher's neck)
Kreacher:It's ugly and broken!
Sirius:No no! It's meant to look like that. Look! I have a necklace with the other half of the heart. This way we can show people how we love each other.
Kreacher:AAAAHHHH!(beats his head with his fists)
Sirius:Oh, I'm sorry! I should have known you'd hate it. You're right. It's so gay! I have something better...
(Takes a piece of paper from his pocket)
Sirius: (clears throat)Your face is like a flower. Your voice makes me want to fly. As long as you are close to me our love will never die.
Kreacher:AAAAAAHHH! THAT POEM IS RUBBISH!
Sirius:But...I spent 12 years writing it! I wrote this first line in Azkaban. It was originally for Remus, but I recently changed my mind.
Kreacher:Give me a sock! Anything! Just give me some clothes!
Sirius:But, baby, the clothes have to come off first(winks)
Kreacher:I meant for leaving! I want to quit! This house is full of mad people! I wanna go NOOOOOOOW!
Sirius:Awww. You're having a temper tantrum.
Kreacher: (rolling around on the floor, screaming hysterically)
Sirius:I know what will make you feel happier! I'll do 50 different accents in 1 minute. Wanna hear it? Huh? It's really cool!
Kreacher:WAAAAAHHH!
Sirius:Ok...how about if I hang Snivellus upside down in the air? Huh? That always made people laugh!
(Snape comes into the room)
Snape:Did you say my name, Siri?
Sirius:Darn it!
Snape:Forget the house elf! I've got everything you could ask for in a man.
Sirius:Says who?
Fangirls all over the world:SAYS US!
Sirius:Oh...well...NO!
Snape:Come on, Black! I will show you things you have never seen before!
Sirius:Trust me! I have already seen EVERYTHING!
Snape:But you're my true love! I have crossed oceans of time to be with you!
Sirius:You know what's funny? I've heard that line before, but I can't remember where...
Snape:Enough talk! You shall either give yourself to me or I will take you myself. Right now!
Sirius:Eep!
Fred and George run into the room.
Fred:Here's...
George...the antidote.
Fred:Drink it...
George:...and you will be normal again.
Fred:Maybe...
George:Haha! I love finishing your sentences!
Sirius, Snape, Lupin and anyone else who had taken the love potion before drank the antidote and became normal again.
Sirius:I was in love with...who! Oh god, that's nasty! Where is he? I want to kick him in the arse!
Harry:But, Sirius, it wasn't his fault that...
Sirius:Shh! Your godfather is having one of those angry moments and before the angry moments are over you mustn't get in my way, because if someone gets in my way when I'm having angry moments THEY WILL DIE!
Harry:Eep!
Sirius:Oh, sorry! I was only joking about the dying part. Hehe! Nice joke, huh? Haha! BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
Harry: (looks creeped out and backs away slowly)
Sirius:I'm so misunderstood! (a single tear runs down his cheek)
Remus:You should get out more.
Sirius:But I can't!
Remus:You should try communicating through the internet.
Sirius:Oh yeah! That muggle invention thingy that allows you to be in your house and talk to somebody far away at the same time.
Remus:And not only that, but all kinds of other things too!
(Pulls out a laptop out of nowhere)
Remus:You can use my laptop. Feel free to do whatever you want with it until we, the helpful members of the Order, come back from our super secret mission.
Sirius:I'd slap your for that one if you weren't my friend.
Remus:I know. That's why I say those things. Toodles!
(Everybody has left the house and Sirius is all alone with a laptop)
Sirius:How does this thing work? Let's see. Internet Explorer...what? Oh! Yeah I get it! MSN Messenger...hmm. Sign in as Bwahahaa! No. I'll sign in as(Sirius' Hotmail address will remain a secret to prevent the attack of fangirls).
Signed in as "Sirius"
Gothickitty says:OMG! Is that really you?
Sirius says:Who are you?
Gothickitty says:That's for me to know and you to find out;)
Sirius says:..ooookkk..?
Gothickitty:What are you wearing?
Block this person!
Deppluvr says:Ew! Is that like...Gary Oldman's Sirius Black?
Sirius says:Yes. So?
Deppluvr says:OMG! You should have totally been played by Johnny Depp. He is like...5 years younger than you and he is the sexiest man alive so...yeah!
Block this person!
Rachel88 has just signed in
Lonelygirl15 has just signed in
Eidsy has just signed in
I hate Moldybutt has just signed in
LilCutie100 has just signed in
Sirius:Uh oh! My ex-girlfriends from Hogwarts!
Sirius has just signed out
Sirius:What the bloody hell should I do now?
10 minutes later
Sirius: (singing)20 little bottles of...hick!...butterbeer on the floor. 20 little bottles of butterbeer! If I take the lid off and drink it all up...1...2...45...198 bottles of butterbeer on the floor. I'm a good mathematician, I am!
Falls on the floor and starts snoring.
The End!