Title: So Many Questions and So Few Answers
Author: EagleBlaze
Chapters: One-shot
Warnings: Angst and spoilers
Status: Complete
Disclaimer: Ronin Warriors rightfully belongs to Sunrise while the lyrics in this fanfic rightfully belong to Linkin Park. I'm just using the ronins for my own plot devices and don't claim to own them (though any crazy fangirl wishes that they do).
Notes: This was an answer to a challenge that Marie Kenobi put on Samurai Fanservice and it takes place during the second episode in Legend of the Kikoutei. So please enjoy!
So Many Questions and So Few Answers
I sat out on the dock thinking about what had happened today. In which my reflection stared back in which I saw myself wearing a light blue sweater and khaki pants and brown shoes. Today started out like any normal day in Japan though it was a bit hotter than normal for summer. It was the summer of 1990, a year since we had finally defeated Talpa. Our year was relatively peaceful enough, thank goodness. We could finally spend time with our families more often without the pressure of having to save the world on our backs was a relief. Though even I felt relieved that the past was behind us and that we would never have to take up arms again, I was forcefully reminded on how wrong I was this morning. Reflecting back I couldn't help but wonder on why the others had not noticed that something was off with the armors….
Crawling
in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I
fall
Confusing what is real
After taking a break Kento and I were sitting down on beach towels in our swimsuits, listening to the radio music. As we listened to the special report about downtown Shinjuku being closed off because of some strange disturbance. I felt my heart sink in uneasiness….and perhaps a bit of doubt. Is it happening again? If so then why?
There's something inside
me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming/confusing
This lack
of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling/I can't seem
As Kento and I made our way towards the downtown area in our subarmor, I felt something struggle within me.
To
find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of
confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to
take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Why is it always us? When we had first received our armors we knew without a doubt on why we were fighting. We were fighting to keep the mortal realm from falling into Talpa's evil hands and also were protecting our families and ourselves. Guided by the Ancient one there was actually a path to follow. Though now….
Crawling
in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I
fall
Confusing what is real
As
I looked down upon the scene the Kento and I arrived on. Sage was
holding his up his nodachiwhile Rowen had an arrow fit into
his compound bow while Ryo was panting hard. I looked down almost
fearful at the scene not wanting to put on the armor of Torrent
again. We had achieved peace finally, why can't they let us rest?
When will they give up coming after us? "Oh no not again,
when will it end?" I asked so softly that I was startled when Kento
told me to put on my armor.
Discomfort, endlessly has
pulled itself upon me
Distracting/reacting
Against my will I
stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
I had felt lately that when ever I fight it seems as if it is a reflection of me that I dare not show in my normal life. No matter how hard I try to burry it, it is still there within my soul, ready to be call upon on a moments notice. It is always by my side whether I like it or not.
To
find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of
confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to
take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
As I put myself into the normal defense stance and holding my Yari in both of my hands. I watched most of the fight as if through a hazy of sea of fog which broke when I picked up a hurt Kento who had gotten hit on the back by the boomerang.
Crawling in my
skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I
fall
Confusing what is real
I
called out in a panic once I realized what Rowen was going to fire at
the warrior. "Rowen don't, he doesn't have any armor on!" I
knew that he was indeed our enemy but something told me that if we
were to fight him, we would end up losing much more than a battle. A
battle that we could not fight ourselves. Wait a minute, a battle
that we could not fight ourselves? What does that mean? My
thoughts were scattered in shock as the African man grinned at us
evilly as he caught Rowen's attack in his bare hand!
Crawling
in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I
fall
Confusing confusing what is real
As the man threw down the attack back at us, I somehow knew that something bigger was going on then just a normal fight. Ever since I had put on my armor it had felt like it was urging me to do fight along with the others, and though I put it on I resisted the pull in which had resulted Ryo and Sage being kidnapped to who knows where.
There's
something inside me that pulls beneath the
surface
Consuming/confusing what is real
This lack of
self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling/confusing what is
real
Now staring at the crystal blue water with the stars reflecting on its surface I frowned. My sea-green eyes reflecting sadness, hurt, and confusion in them. It is my fault for letting Ryo and Sage be captured….but can't they just understand that I don't want to fight any more? I put my head on my knees, and hugged them close to me while a gentle breeze whipped at my auburn hair. Kento might think that I'm taking the coward's way out but….I can't really describe it, even to me. I hope that they understand….I'm just so confused right now. If I even had wanted to fight I would probably questioning every move we make and being more of a burden then a help to them. That's the problem it seems with me….I have so many questions….and so few answers.
The End