Yaaawn. What a beautiful morning. Beautiful indeed. The sun is rising, colouring of red and gold blah blah blah. I look at the time. It's 5.30. FUCK! I have to be at school at 8! I'M BLOODY LATE! SH! I rush down the bed, but I painfully discover that Kakashi wrapped me in the sheets during the night (Kakashi is kind of strange sometimes…). Maybe he wanted to pull a stupid prank. Or to make me stay in bed longer. Or he wanted to kill me. Who knows. Anyway the facts don't ch'ange: I fell on the floor. Wow. What a good way to start a new morning! And anyway I'm still late! Kakashi (well, from now on his name will be replaced by "that Jerk") is reubbing off me his bad habits. Just wait until he teaches me to make up stores for my delays! "Sorry kids, but I'm late because tonight someone tied me up eith the sheets and I had to call and ANBU squad to brak free…" well, I0m nearly there, but not fully. There is still something true in the story. I think I still need a little polishing….
I go to the bathroom, where that Jerk made a mess. Clothes everywhere, some porn magazines, floor covered by socks, boxers and one or two bras. Oh. My. God. My blood pressure is reaching levels which are never heard of in the history of humanity. As I'm already feeling kind of angry – and if I asked the Jerk I would feel even worse – I just try to ignore it and I start to do my stuff. Then I prepare a mortal trap in the kitchen, so when the Jerk will get up to have breakfast he will be savaged by a wild Onba. Then I come back to the bathroom to finish my morning stuff and when I can go out of the sea of clothes in the bathroom is 6.29. I see the Jerk who's still sleeping. That reminds me that he had to meet his pupils about half an hour ago. I give up. I sit on the floor asking myself why my constant presence can0t improve him. Not even a little bit.
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OUCH! "YOU £$&, GET AWAY FROM MY HAND! WATCH YOUR GODDAMNED STEP!" Yeah, because that Jerk – who's as intelligent as a rotten cucumber – while gettino up stomped on my hand. He pretends to be sorry and makes up a scene. He's behaving as if tears are welling in my eyes or something like that. As I'm a little irritated because of his melodramatic scene, I start to yell at him. He flees. Shoot! He has gone out for breakfast! My beautiful trap has gone to waste. Uff… well, I will get my revenge tonight. You'll see if he is gettino any tonight!
Calm. I have to calm down. Breath. Ok, now I'm calm. Now it's 7.30. luckily, I'm nearly on time! I go to school that I'm perfectly relaxed. Argh! My scar is hitching! Oh no, what a bad omen. Quite understandable, this morning I have the first graders. Thase brats, they0re always ready to stab be in the back eith a dull kunai. I can see it from their hatred filled eyes ( -- the hatred filled eyes: Oo). when I enter the classroom, a terrible scene shows before my eyes. Konohamaru and his companions are yelling like mad, making the windows – and my eardrums – crack. That rasta little girl is chasing after a shy girl with a hat, obviously trying to stab her. And what do I see! Isn0t that a packet of cigarette in her pocket! Oh my God! And there? A bunch of long racket hooligans are playing poker, quite evidently betting money, that money that their poor widow mothers gain with so much fatigue, just to make those ungrateful brats eat a hot meal a day. Mind you, I love my students, but I think that sometimes they're a little….well….you know.
I make them shut up and tell them "Good morning, kids. Open the textbooks at page…" I can't finish the statement, because those diabolical kids are getting distracted. Konohamaru has raised his hand, but I bet he doesn't want to ask me anything…I'm sure he wants to ask when the next test is. Or even worse…. "Iruka sensei, may I go to the bathroom?". You filthy brat. Always to the loo! Are you one of those crybabys or what? "No, Konohamaru kun, better if you stay for the first two hours, as you have the SURPRISE TEST!" a scream of pain is heard loud in the classroom. Some kids try to commit suicide, someone else is trying to write notes on mini pieces of paper, or are they suicidal notes? Hay, it's not like I'm doing a surprise test because I'm plain wicked! It's just that I forgot the lesson plan at home, and I0m sure that even if I brought it, it would say anyway "surprise test". "But sensei, we had a test yesterday! We don't need to do a test right now…! Ah! The little monster is trying to make me commit a mistake. The test was not yesterday, but 24 hours ago! Like hell I'm cancelling it, they're behaving as if they're on vacation! "And so? Does it mean you only study for the test? That's not good! And now please, take out the pens…." While they're working on the test, I wander through the desks, catching red handed the kids who are cheating. One was striking funny: he shoved a roll of paper as long as the declaration of independence. I noticed it because he was turning purple and he could barely breath. Man, how I love my job…. And I love my pupils too! They make me happy whan Kakashi tries to drive me crazy.
HOW IT REALLY WENT
Iruka sensei woke up at 5 o'clock and he went to work at 7. when he found out his lesson plans weren't there, so he came up with the surprise test. The scenes of desperation were minimized, even though there were no suicide attempts. And the mess he saw in the classroom. Konohamaru and his friends were just chit chatting, the rasta girl was just playing hide-and-seek with the hat girl, and she didn't have a packet of cigarette with her, but a box where she kept her hair pins. And the ungrateful hooligans were just kids who were playing with yugioh cards, and just so you know, they eat 3 hot meals a day. Does our beloved Iruka sensei need a vacation?