-1A moment of shock and still emerged onto my face, as I realized too late what she had just done. Her grip on me loosened, as we collapsed to the ground. I hold her, and I tell her that everything was going to be alright. Mac rushes to my side, and gets onto the radio.

"This is Detective Taylor, send a medical unit. Officer down."

"She's getting cold Mac."

Lindsay whispers to me. "Danny. It's okay. I now know why you did what you did."

Like a common theme, the tears well up into my eyes. Others were around, but I didn't care.

"I shouldn't have pushed you away."

I held her close to my, close to my heart.

Her breath was laboured, shallow. The rosy color from her lips were a fading mystery. Her eyes were now all but closed, I felt her hanging on.

"Lindsay…don't leave me"

I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Danny, let the EMT's do their job."

Mac had to literally pry me from Lindsay. So I gently laid her down on to the ground, taking care of her head on the cold concrete floor.

"I'm riding along, Mac."

-----

The whole team was at the hospital, waiting for word. Lindsay has already been in surgery for 10 hours. The seats were uncomfortable, and I couldn't stay still. Waiting was all I've ever done with Lindsay, I've done too much of it definitely. I pull out the box of my breast pocket, cracking it open to take a peek.

"It's beautiful" Stella remarks.

"I might not be able to use it." My voice trembles at the mere thought.

The doctor breaks the sullen ambiance, as he walks into the waiting room. Everybody looks up to the Doctor though, he looks not to me, but to Mac.

"I need to speak with Detective Taylor"

"What's going on? How's Lindsay?" I ask the surgeon.

He repeats himself. "I need to speak with Detective Taylor"

"Stel…." I look at her with upset confusion.

She shrugs, but motions me to her side.

"Maybe it's to sign some papers…Her family won't be able to catch a plane until tomorrow."

"It should be me, Stella"

"I know. We just need to wait for word."

---

A few excruciating moments pass by, and Mac returns into the room. His face said it all, and it hit me like a train going a hundred miles an hour.

"No…No!!!!" He attempts to comfort me, but I didn't want anybody touching me right now.

"Danny.."

I shake my head in anger, in the difficulty of this outcome.

"She….Lindsay took that bullet for me. IT was meant for ME!"

Stella remained where she sat, an empty look befell her, as well as everybody else.

I pause, in a moment of sanity to speak.

"W..we need to let her brother and uncle know. They're both in Maine right now. "

----

THE NEXT DAY.

I look into the mirror, and began to do up my tie. Many times, Lindsay would help me, I hated those things. The perfect windsor eluded me so.

"Here Danny, let me."

Stella, already in her own dress uniform, came into the locker room to help me.

"I hate these dress uniforms."

"Yeah..me too."

"How are you holding up?"

She pauses and attempts to crack a smile on her face. I could tell she had been crying, her cheeks were a raw rosy red.

"Sorry...already know the answer to that."

I form an attempted smile in return, and put on my hat.

"You going to be okay out there, Danny?"

I take a deep breath. "Yeah."

----

"Family, friends, colleagues from far away and near. We are gathered here to honor the life of Detective Lindsay Anne Monroe. Cut tragically short, in her loyalty and service as an officer of the NYPD. I bring forth to you now, the life that she saved. He who will now speak of the life that she lived. Detective Daniel Messer."

I froze in my seat, unable to take my eyes off her portrait next to her casket.

"Danny." Stella gives me a friendly rub on the shoulder.

"I'm ready."

It was a mile, every step to the podium. Turning around, I face Lindsay's family and friends. Members of the Bozeman Police Department, and NYPD alike.

"Lindsay came into my life just about a year ago……" I paused for a moment to collect myself.

"I was terrible. I made her first few weeks hell, cause I wouldn't stop teasing her. Cause she was a country girl. Then, she grew on me. I never knew that country girls had longer claws, than the city girls here in New York."

I managed to get a few laughs from the sullen crowd.

"She had integrity beyond any other cop I've ever worked with, and she was a solid cop. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her unselfish act, and I would've easily taken her place. She was intuitive, she loved life and living it. She's introduced me to some sports I've never even heard of. I mean..how fast could you shave the fur off a sheep the fastest?……..She gave a new vision on life to me, and she loved me unconditionally. She was indeed taken away too soon."

Looking at the Monroe's, I see them looking at me and nodding.

"Mr. & Mrs. Monroe. You've raised a wonderful daughter, you taught her well and right. Thank You. I don't know how to repay you for that. Actually I don't even think I can ever do that at all. She is worth more than anything in this world to me."

Finished, I whispered. "I love you, Montana"

Stepping down, I make my way to her, and place a bright red rose onto her flag draped coffin. It pained me not to be able to touch her, the 10 inches of wood and cloth prevented that from happening.

It became silent in the church, save for the Monroe's tears.

I stayed beside her for a good while, I didn't want to leave her side.

"I'm sorry Detective Messer, we need to proceed."

"Sorry Reverend." I make my way back to my seat.

He lights a candle, and raises his hands to the sky. "Let's bow our heads to pray"

I lower my head, and I close my eyes.

"God bless this brave soul, who made the ultimate sacrifice. Bring her forth to your side in her rightful place. Bless her with the riches you've promised us, as your children. Amen."

Opening my eyes, the Reverend begins to motion everyone to gather outside. I slip my white gloves on, and prepare for the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. I look to Mac. He looks back reassuringly.

----

The casket rises from it's platform, as 6 pairs of white gloves grip the handles on it's side. Step by step, 6 men move as one. Joined by pain and sorrow in carrying Detective Monroe's casket.

It seemed like an eternity in a day, walking out of the church, and to the waiting Hearst.

It was only one hour ago, It was all so different then. There's nothing yet has really sunk in, Looks like it always did. This flesh and bone, Its just the way that you were tied in. Now threes no-one home

We move slowly along the path that was made for us. Her Father, her Brother, Hawkes, Flack, Mac and I.

I grieve for you, When you leave me, It's so hard to move on.

I was lost in the moment, everybody here gathered, sharing in this loss.

Still loving what's gone. They say that life carries on, carries on and on.

We load her in, and the door closes. I look at the flowers, the color that they were adorned in. Reminded me of her lips.

The news that truly shocks, is the empty, empty page. While the final rattle rocks the empty, empty cage. And I can't handle this.

We begin to march. March slowly behind her. NYPD, and BPD alike. Flanked by squad vehicles and Motorcycles, we move through Manhattan Cemeteries. The red and blue lights heightened the hollow sadness within the officers behind me. I felt solace in the fact, that they shared in the burden of my pain.

And I grieve, for you. You leave me, Let it out and move on.

I see the plot before me, just ahead. Marked by the firing squad already waiting for us. I could hardly see, blinded by the tears covering my eyes.

Missing what's gone. Said life carries on, I said life carries on.

Finally stopping, we unload her, and place her onto the lowering device. I touch her for the last time, my tears, falling onto the surface of her casket.

Two officers came forth, saluted Lindsay and began to remove the flag.

I couldn't help myself, but to whisper to the officers. "Be careful."

Another officer, began playing a mournful song on his bagpipes. Solemnly, they began to fold the flag, a symbol of our service to this country.

As they finished, they headed towards Lindsay's mother. I watch her whisper a few words in to the officer's ear, and she stands up After a few moments discussion with Mr. Monroe, and David Monroe, Mrs. Monroe takes the flag and begins to walk towards me.

I was taken aback, as I walk to meet her.

"We think that you should have this." She places the wrapped flag into my hands.

"Mrs. Monroe…"

"You meant so much to her, She did a brave thing, and I expected none less from my daughter."

"But…"

She hushes me with a lift of her finger to my lips.

"You're family, Daniel."

I look over to the rest of her family, Mac and Stella, they were holding strong, smiling.

"We now commit her body to the ground. Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust. Please bow with me."

I lean down beside her, grasping a handful of soil

"Bring your child peace, and her family peace in the knowledge of her faith. Bring them solace and comfort in your name. Amen."

Did I dream this belief, or did I believe this dream. How will I find relief.

She now moves slowly down beneath the soil, beneath my feet. I let go of my grasp, and soil rains down into the depths of her final resting place.

The Marshall calls onto his firing squad.

"READY!!"

The squad readies their rifles, loaded the chambers and aimed into the sky as my heart followed into the heavens.

I grieve

"FIRE!!" --BANG!!
"FIRE!!" --BANG!!
"FIRE!!" --BANG!!