-1"FATA
MORGANA" Excerpts from 'The works of Henry Longfellow'
Published by : The Wordsworth Poetry Library.
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After Aiden, I didn't know where I was going.
Where would I be Lindsay?
I stare at her locker, another facet into her life. The bridge between the professional and personal.
Where would I be if you didn't happen into my life?
6, 20, 6, 46. Spinning the dial to her locker, I collect myself, and I open it.
Several bottles of shampoo and lotions and a bottle of Chanel Allure, though she didn't need it at all. She had the most sweetest scent. Her other service pistol, her backup. I unload the mag, and checked the chamber.
Poetry books. Prevalent in the works of Longfellow.
Flipping one open, I find a page bookmarked by a photo.
As the weary traveler sees
In
the desert or prairie vast,
Blue lakes, overhung with trees,
That a pleasant shadow cast;
So I wander and wander along,
And for ever before me gleams
The shining city of song,
In
the beautiful land of dreams
Noticing the photo, I see it was one of Lindsay and I.
"Do you want to try?"
"Sure" She hands me the ropes to the main sail, and motioned me where to sit.
"Whatever you do, don't let go."
"Why?"
Just as that was said and done, a gust of wind carried the sail inward. All I saw was a massive white wall coming towards me. Knocking me overboard, and into the cold East Coast water.
All I heard was Lindsay laughing. I couldn't see her from my angle in the water, she must have gone to retrieve something to pull me in.
She then reappears with a flotation ring. "I told you not to let go"
"Okay Ginger. Now help me up?"
"You know what? I think you're fine where you are." She disappears.
"Lindsay?……Lindsay?…..Come on….Please?"
I empty the final items into the bankers box, and try to control the feelings within me as I see this locker now empty. I shut it one final time, only to sit there and stare at Lindsay's name plastered on the door.
---
Thanks to the glass walls, the two Level 1 CSI's were able to observe Danny from a distance.
"Is he going to be okay?"
"He's going to be okay Stella. I mean, I know what he's going through, Stella. I just hope he'll be able to push past this. "
---
I'm pulled out of my thoughts, as my cell rings. I look at the caller ID, which displayed 'Private'
"Hello."
White noise and quiet breathing was all I heard.
"I hear you…….This is Danny Messer…..did you get a wrong number?"
Click. I stare at my cell in amusement.
---
I return to my office, with Lindsay's belongings. I place them onto her own empty desk. I sit there, alone with the privacy glass on. Not that it made much of a difference, the Lab was down to it's skeleton crew at this ungodly hour.
She was everywhere. I felt her. Everything here reminded me of Lindsay. She was already gone.
I failed to make things right. I Failed.
In that conclusion, I made my decision.
---
Knocking on the door to Hawkes' office, I let myself in.
"Hey Danny. How are you holding up?"
I couldn't do anything else but nod, at his mention. Mustering up my strength, I speak to him for the last time.
"I um, I came here to tell you that I'm glad to have worked with you. It's a shame, that you didn't come into the field sooner."
Hawkes' brow furrowed with confusion.
"What's going on?"
"I'm leaving. I can't be here anymore. I'm on my way to put in for a transfer."
We hug, for one last time.
"See you in another life."
---
Stella was in her office as well, signing off on a few case files. I let myself in.
"Hey Stella." I force myself to crack a smile.
"Danny…" She rises from her chair to give me a hug. "How are you doing?"
"I'm alright." I paused. "I could be better. I came by to say thank you, actually. For all that you've done for me these past few years. I couldn't ask for a better boss. You've taught me a lot."
She backs off from her embrace. Looks into my eyes. Analyzing.
"Thank You? It sounds like you're going away"
"Yeah. I'm going o put in for a transfer. I can't stay"
I look to her, as she scans my expression and starts to tear up herself. Stumped by shock, not by surprise. Stella smiles and gives me one last embrace, as one mentor to a student. I leave for one last stop.
I walk through these halls on the 35th floor for one last time. This place which has been my home for the past 6 years. As I near Mac's office, I pause to take stock of the hoops and ridicule he endured just so that I could be on his coveted team.
Like the psychic he was, he looks up from his desk to see me standing there. He motions me to come in. I take a final breath and I make my way into his office.
"Danny. Come in."
He puts his case file down, and gives me his undivided attention.
I place my transfer papers onto his desk. He gives them a single glace, then back at me.
"Mac. I just wanted to tell you that it was a privilege working for you. I want to say thank you for believing in me, even though there were some things that I have done, that would definitely have had me thrown out. Trusting me, even though there were times that would warrant you not to. Most of all, for being my friend, when I didn't have a single friend in the world."
Mac sits there, absorbing my confession. In that moment, devoid of emotion.
He gets up from behind his desk, and walks towards me.
I hold out my hand, but he opts to hug me instead.
"We all miss her, Danny. I know now, that you need this. I am truly sorry to see you go. You're one of the finest officers I've ever had under my command. You're a great friend."
I leave his office, and make my way to the elevator. Turning around, I see everybody standing there. I put on a brave face for them, knowing that they will find out soon.
I hated lying to them all.
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