Disclaimer: If I owned Demyx or Xigbar, or any of the other Kingdom Hearts characters for that matter, wouldn't you know my name by now? And if I owned Evanescence, they sooooo wouldn't have gotten that new guitarist.
Xigbar sat in his room by his desk, parchment in front of him, pen in hand. He needed to get the feelings out and he couldn't talk to anyone about it. The person he would usually talk to, Demyx, was dead. Killed by that little moron who fought with a friggen key. Xigbar couldn't believe it when he heard about Demyx's death, the pain was just too much. But he couldn't talk to anyone. They would say he was kiddish, acting like Demyx himself. So he had to get his pain out somehow.
In the background, Xigbar could hear a song playing from his radio. It sounded sad and morbid mostly, so he turned the volume up.
Some say I'm crazy for my love, oh, my love
Yes, Xigbar was crazy for his love. His love was Demyx and he died. How could he leave him like this?
But no bonds can hold me from your side, oh, my love
If only that was true. If only Demyx could come back and hold him one last time. If only Xigbar could tell Demyx how much he loved him, one last time. But that couldn't happen. It never would and there was no point dwelling in what could never happen.
They don't know you can't leave me
But, you have already left, and you can't come back, Xigbar thought.
They don't hear you singing to me
At least that part was true. Xigbar could still hear Demyx's voice, singing song after song, both sad and happy. Some times, he would even serenade Xigbar. Usually after the song, they would laugh together, Demyx knowing how silly he looked singing a serenade, but now, Xigbar would give almost anything to go back to those times.
I will stay forever here with you, my love
The softly spoken words you gave me
They always spoke in soft voices to each other after… but he couldn't think about that now. The thoughts brought too much pain along with them.
Even in death our love goes on
I still love you, but you're not here. Xigbar thought. How can I live like this?
And I can't love you anymore than I do, ooo-o-oo
Well, that at least was true. Xigbar doubted that anyone had ever loved someone else more than he had loved Demyx. That just wasn't possible.
What followed next was a guitar solo that would have made Demyx smile and learn the tune by heart. Everything about the song reminded Xigbar of Demyx.
To distract himself, he started writing.
You'll never know what it's like
To lie in your bed, crying
You'll never know what it's like
To watch your best friend dying
Cliché, but it would do for a beginning.
You'll never know of tears long shed
While waiting, hours 'pon hours
For news of life, for news of death
For news of hopes, dreams shattered
Eh, it was getting better…
You'll never know the pain, the sorrow
Of watching a loved one die
You'll never sit in your cold, white room
You'll never wonder "why?"
That is true. Our rooms are always white. Just white. They should be black.
You'll never see a final breath
You'll never faint in pain
You'll never laugh, you'll never wake
I'll never see you again.
That's good enough, Xigbar thought as he put down his pen. He started listening to the song again since the guitar solo had just ended.
I will stay forever here with you, my loveXigbar could only wish.
The softly spoken words you gave meEven in death our love goes on
And I can't love you, anymore than I do
Xigbar could barely hear the last few words, they were so quiet and mumbled, but they sounded like "true love is forever."
He listened to see who wrote the song and what it was called. The announcer said in his happy voice, that ruined the mood of the song completely, "That was Even In Death by Evanescence! Great guitar solo, don't you think? Well…."
Xigbar tuned him out after that. He didn't think he could bare a happy voice droning on and on about music. He just wasn't in the mood.
