"Ariana Vargas."
She turned slowly as though waking from a dream.
"That is your name, right? Listen to me, Ariana. I need you to come down very carefully. Turn slowly and ease down."
Ari's thoughts shifted suddenly.
Where did he come from? Why is there a telephone box on the fifth floor? How does he know who I am? Is he here to take me?
Oh no. Oh what if he's from the hospital. But I didn't hear any sirens??
"Ariana? Can we please talk? Come off the wall and we can talk."
He walked so carefully as he approached Ariana. Like it was thin ice and any wrong move would send them both into frigid waters.
Finally, caving to her curiosity. "Who even are you?"
"Oh! I'm the Doctor."
"Oh no. Oh God, please no. You are from the hospital. I knew it." Her heart leapt into her throat as the words tumbled out of her mouth in a frenzied stream.
"I knew someone was going to notice if I sat here too long. I knew I should've just done it. Why do I always ruin everything?"
Panic began to take hold of every cell of Ariana's body. She couldn't control the shivering any more and her chest started to feel tight. Her arms tingled and the world started to swirl a little.
She grasped the wall as tight as she could. Knuckles white, Ariana fought to stay balanced. She wanted to die, but if she was going to go out, it was going to be on her own terms. The world would not force another thing on her. It would not steal this moment. It had taken so much already, but this - her death - was her own.
The Doctor stepped slowly in her direction, hands raised and voice low and quiet.
"Ariana, listen. Please. My name is the Doctor. I can help you."
She scoffed, "Everyone says that.
'I can help.' But no one really means it. They don't even understand what that entails. It's far too inconvenient. Too much work. And then when they've done their good dead, they expect me to suddenly be all better. Like their magic touch cured me."
"I'm not trying to cure you, Arian--"
"Ari!" She shouted, "They call me Ari."
The Doctor was nearly to the wall now, "Ari. I'm here to help. Truly."
Ari stared hard at the ground below as she debated her next move.
"Listen, I'm going to climb onto the wall next to you. Please just - stay there."
The Doctor hoisted himself up onto the wall and situated himself about an arms length away. He could see that Ari was still shaking despite the wind having died down.
Now that he was next to her, it was much easier to take it all in.
Her knuckles were white from grasping the wall, her jeans torn from climbing onto it. The tear exposed a thigh that had clearly been cut recently. But more than that, it had scars that told a story of years of pain and anguish and shame and self destruction. Years of reckless behavior to mask hurt. Years of blood and bitterness and anger.
The Doctor knew that story all too well. He'd been that way once.
More than once, truth be told.
"I have lived a very long life," he began. "I've seen the most beautiful parts of the universe and met the most incredible beings. I have experienced the purest joy and happiness one can ever feel. But I have also felt the depths of anguish and the weight of shame. I have lost and taken more times than I care to remember."
"I know what scars like those," he motioned to her leg, "feel like. I know that the pain you feel is suffocating and you're just trying to breathe. I know you've been drowning in this hurt and no one seemed to notice. And I know that you think that they'd all be better off if you were gone, but deep down you still hope they will cry bitter tears when you die."
"I know that some small part of you keeps asking you 'what if' in hopes that you'll fight. I know that you have such kind eyes, but they have been so blinded by pain that they can no longer see the kindness and hope in the world."
A tear slid down her cheek as she replied, "I just want to stop hurting."
The Doctor moved closer, "This will not do that."
"This will not resolve like you want it to. There is no clean, quick end. There will always be collateral damage and you will not have left the world without carrying that pain.
You deserve to not have to carry that pain. You deserve have the chance to be hopeful."
He reached over and gently grabbed her hand as he scooted closer. "You deserve to live, Ariana Vargas. Not survive. Live."