The Multiverse--
A Glorfindel Book

By Katt, Maggie, and Eliza (featuring Sam)

Chapter 2: The Motley Crew

Back at the Inter-Dimensional Alliance, the Chief of the Removal of Things (not full title) gathered his team. Surprisingly few people volunteered for this assignment. His department was the most diverse in the Multiverse. The Chief was a wizard from the Rowlingverse London. His predecessor was a Vulcan from the Trekverse, but most of the Vulcans who founded the Alliance were already gone. It wasn't that they had a short life-span; it was the strain of the job that forced them to retire early. The Chief had only been working for six years, and he had seen the passing of many inspirational figures. But there was always a steady flow of newbies anxious to protect their native lands. The three sitting in front of the Chief were some of the most Eager.
The one to the very far left was dressed in an immaculate black shorts coat (editor's note: I am guessing a coat made from black shorts) and snazzy black socks. She had on black glasses and her hair pulled back into a nice and neat ponytail. Her name is Stella. Her specialty was "information retrieval." She did however have an air of complete concentration, and absolutely no idea of what was actually going on.
Next to her, sitting upright and smiling a gentle, secret smile was the most human of the three. This was the sort of girl who people automatically address as "Miss," or in special circumstances, "M' lady." She is well dressed, wearing an asymmetrically cut black skirt. She has paired it with a sky blue 3/4 length sleeve blouse. Her stockings are white. The entire outfit is silk. The shoes are leather, and high-heeled. The face about the clothes is sweet and innocent, at least until you get to her eyes. Her eyes are gray-blue and intense, frightening and highlighted by her tightly pulled back light-brown hair. Her name is Elisabeth Bright. Her specialty is research, sort of. She does other things too, but polite girls don't talk about those.
The last girl was not polite. She was a people person and a Betazoid. Her frizzy black hair was pulled up in very shiny barrettes that barely tore the attention from her black vinyl overcoat. Her dress is form fitting blue velvet that barely covered her black riding boots. Her name is Luxor Disraeli. She smiled at the Chief in completely comprehension of his anxiety.
The first goal of these three women of the Alliance, according to the Chief, was to seek out the elf Bayley--an elf who was known for his large collection of bad smut fanfics which made room 2007 of the Alliance's secondary headquarters (effectively a huge library with very small staff) legendary. He hated all the bad smut out these, especially Harry/Draco fanfics. Many people questioned having a room full of the very evil they were out to destroy, but he would say simply "Know thy enemy." Though he did, in fact, hate the smut in his collection, rumors circulated that he secretly liked them, and even if he were sincere in his support for the Alliance, he did not possess the constitution for the job.
They all set out, and began the journey through the small (but nonetheless desolate) desert of the Barrens. Though Luxor questioned whether his services would outweigh the time spent to reach his office (about 5 days, according to the Chief, despite its exceptionally small size), the Chief assured them her he would be most useful, and that it was always good to have a balance of universes anyway.
"A Tolkien man has never let me down," he said simply, as he returned to the other memos he had to read. With swelling bureaucracy in these dark times, the job at the top was harder than ever.

--

"I sense a disturbance in the force...," muttered Stella.

"So...," Luxor commented, "All we have to do is make it through the maze of cubicles, get passed security which includes metal detectors and drug sniffing kneazels, then we have to solve the riddles of the sphinx, and out of the chompers alive. And that's just to get out of the building! Not to mention the desert just to get to this Bayley person.
"Well," we'd better get going then, shouldn't we?" Elisabeth said as she put down her embroidery and stood up.
"Yeah, okay," Luxor grabbed Stella's arm who jerked out of her grip, back-flipped and landed in iron-skirt stance.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Stella roared.
"We're leaving," Luxor said, and she pointed to the exit.

Elisabeth led the way, not to the desert, but to the customer service desk in the front hall.
"Excuse me," Elisabeth politely asked, "Could you direct us to Room 2007? We need to see the Elf Bayley, on business."
"Take the elevator up to the second floor, cross the skybridge, turn right and keep walking. There's only one building; you'll find it eventually." The bored sounding Dwarf didn't once look at them. Elisabeth thanked him and led the other to the elevators.
"But...the desert? What happened to the desert?!" exclaimed Stella.
"The desert is a test for newbies," replied Elisabeth calmly. "There's the bridge; we cross here."
They crossed and turned right in silence, the only sound being the echos caused by the clicking of Elisabeth's heels against the floor. After what seemed like an exceedingly long time, they reached a metal door marked "2007." Luxor knocked and the door opened revealing a neurotic looking Elf.
"Ah, you must be the new girls. Come in! Please come in! I am Bayley."
Stella looked at Bayley inquisitively. He was an Elf alright. He had Elf hair and pointy ears, but his Elven attire included Human accessories. Stella thought this made him look either eccentric or simply out of place. Elisabeth stood politely, but looked at the many bookcases taken from the storage room that were filled with countless files. There was seemingly no pattern to their varying sizes. Elisabeth got the feeling many of these files would never be read again. Luxor simply leaned against the wall.
Bayley sauntered across the many columns with a slight limp. He was out of sight when he yelled, "Make yourselves at home!" far louder than was necessary. Stella looked to the left and saw what resembled a small living room in the corner of this extremely large room. There was no desk here, so Bayley must work elsewhere in this huge room, but his desk was nowhere to be seen. It could have been a hundred yards away.
Luxor sat down and ate some of Bayley's Human food. Elisabeth was the last of the three to sit down on one of his couches. She was slow to go to this corner of the room because it confused her. This man was an Elf, and from the Tolkien universe no less. Why did he feel comfortable in a human environment? She knew all about Tolkien elves, though this was the first time she would get to know one. No, she told herself, this is just for visitors... but then, why the Human knife, and so on? Now that she thought about it, he didn't speak with the elegance of an Elf, and she also began to hear him singing far away in a very jovial manner. She picked up:
"But there still beeeeeeeee, many miles to go!"
Maybe he's just been around Humans too long, but then she though about this hair and clothes. Plus, this job would be extremely dull, and she figured that that would be the job an Elf would be set out for. Her feelings on him became more confused when he returned 15 minutes later and shouted, "Time to get these sick fucks!" Stella felt her jaw drop when she saw he was carrying about 50 large envelopes. He threw them on the floor.
"Hah!" Bayley barked. "I'm sure you can respect research, eh Lizzie?"
"Yes, well, I sometimes work out in the field," Elisabeth replied.
"Bah!" Bayley replied. I love the city life! I got my fill of nature, of course, it was good to get to know... Well anyway, I've got all the latest specific genres that are popular now. What exactly do the narrators want? As soon as we know what they want to seek out and destroy!"
The three girls sat there in stunned silence.
"Bayley," Elisabeth began, "we aren't sure. We think it's just bad fanfic in general."
"Merlin's beard!" Bayley exclaimed.
He paused, and looked deep in thought.
"Okay, let's go." And without picking up the files he dropped, he exited the room.
"Why would an Elf swear by 'Merlin's beard?' " asked Elisabeth.
"Good question!" barked Bayley.
"TACO!" declared Stella decisively, and they exited what was dubiously called his "office."
For a moment they all stood outside in the hall next to a water cooler than burbled with semi-sentients.
"Well, what do we do now?" inquired Luxor with an air of decision.
"Our main goal is the defense and eventual destruction of the mysterious whirling device from Chapter One. That means first to secure the device and make the rest of the building absolutely impregnable. We'll need complete access to all security control and a truck load of 'a few good men.'"
"Wow," said Elisabeth. "That's a good idea."
"Indeed," said Stella glancing around. "I'll start on humming bird detail."
"What?"
"Those bastards can be tricky little blighters." Stella declared softly and wandered away.

Editor's Note: Okay, now you've met the good guys. Stella, Elizabeth, Luxor, and now Bayley are out to destroy the Narrators by securing the DEVICE that is the Narrators' source of power… possibly. Excellent. There is still more!