The Multiverse--
A Glorfindel Book

By Katt, Maggie, Eliza, and Sam

Chapter Five: The Big Chase Scene

At a last desperate attempt to get the plotline on track, K requested an automatic update from Corridors Millennium Edition. Fast forward.

The remaining Narrators and the Special Task Force are both on the trail of Glorfindel and M. Through some deleted scenes involving close encounters with the Narrator's "allies", Glorfindel has decided that there is no one he can trust. He is proceeding alone, aside from M, to alliance headquarters where the Narrator Monitor is kept, in order so M can absorb its creativity, destroying the Narrators, but saving the girl.

Is it any wonder everyone is after them?

--

Indeed! M and Glorfindel had only just escaped from the clutches of the Pirates of the Caribbean universe (where M, in a dramatic and fantastically staged sword fight, rescued Glorfindel from the Dread Pirate Roberts actually, one Inago Montolla who followed them from the Princess Bride universe) and have been traveling in the simple, but very drafty hospital gowns they had escaped in. Glorfindel has been looking for a place to have a bit of a lie-down, as all of this hero business has been quite taxing on his nerves.

That, and the fact that M has been singing "A Pirates Life for me" for six hours straight.

M threw her self around Glorfindel's shoulders.

"And really bad eggs." She informed him.

"I'll get you some in the morning, but can we please just...give it a rest for a minute?" He settled down, M's soft murmuring of "Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!" lulling him into an uneasy sleep filled with dreams featuring beer and an indeterminate amount of apples, or possibly a bag of apples...and some kind of whirling device…?

Suddenly he was flung into the air. "Oh no," he thought. "Not again…" and landed flat on his back with a spectacular lack of grace.

"Ow! My ass!" cried Glorfindel.

"I'll get you another one!" declared M. "A bigger one." She glanced around and spied a large gnarly oak, and pointed to it. "That one."
"Thank you, M. That means a lot to me."
However, once he took a better look at the gnarly tree Glorfindel realized that it was gazing ponderously back at him.

"An …ent?" he asked himself softly.
"Burarum. An elf?" drawled the tree. "I have not seen one of your kind in these woods for oh, I can't remember. A long, long time, a long, long time indeed. And who is that there next to you, burarum?"
"Er…" started Glorfindel.
"Seems a bit off to me…" The Ent raised itself slowly to peer down at M, who hugged her knees and sang to herself.
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me…"
"And who might you be, hm, little one?"
"No---!" Glorfindel tried to silence M, but he was too late.
"We're rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves!"
"I don't think I like to sound of that. I don't like the sound of that at all, burarum!" Said Treebeard.
"Shouldn't you be quoting Tolkien by now?" snarled Glorfindel.

"We're beggars!" continued M, while fighting Glorfindel as he tried to shove a wad of sod into her yap. "And blighters, ne'er-do-well cads! We're devils! And black sheep! And really bad eggs! Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!!!"
"Sounds like orc mischief to me!!" rumbled Treebeard, who scooped up the both of them in his strong hands.
"Ek!" squeaked Glorfindel in a very unmanly way, but he was far to busy having the life squeezed out of him (like some kind of lemon) to care much.
"They come with fire, they come with axes… gnawing, biting, breaking, hacking, burning!!"
"Ay, but we are loved by our mommies and dads!" wailed M.
"Destroyers and Usurpers! Curse them!"
"Wait!!" gasped Glorfindel. "I'm an elf! Have we ever been known to befriend the enemies of forests? Ever?"
"Maybe you have, and maybe you haven't. But the world out side the forest is none of my concern."

"Look!" said M suddenly. "There's smoke to the south!"
Treebeard frowned unhappily. "There is always smoke rising from Isengard these days." Then, muttering to himself, "I think that I should take you to the White Wizard..."

"Ok," Glorfindel muttered to himself. "White wizard, smoke to the south… That would place us in book two, shortly before the assault on Isengard." Then to Treebeard:

"Alright, we'll go with you to see the white wizard!"

"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards," said M, "for they are subtle and quick to anger."
"Well, it's better than staying here! And I don't think that you've got an escape plan?"
"Meeble?"
And so off they went.

---

K, looking as angry as a baboon after a body wax, turned to E.
"What the fuck? What the hell do you think that you are doing? Giving Glorfindel dreams of the device! We aren't supposed to be doing anything!"
"Well, I don't like it!" said E. "Something is up. Everything is all out of balance, and I don't like what might come around the fill that balance."
"The device needs three narrators to run, right?" said S. "And when M went down, here I am to take up the slack! Everything is as it should be."
"I still don't like it. Conservation of matter and energy, remember? Energy can not be created or destroyed, right? Only converted into something else. So where did M's creative energy end up, huh?"
There was a thoughtful pause.
"I suggest we all get drunk and play ping pong."
S and E looked at one another.
"Yeah, ok."

K however, had a couple questions. "Computer, what is the probable objective of the Alliance Task Force?"
++Retrieval of a palantir++
"Of course," said K. "They will attempt to destroy our working Whirring Device with a similar source of power. We must make haste! E! S!"
K began walking toward the room which had long since been painted on in huge block letters using red paint "DO NOT DISTURB (ever)!"
"You guys! Stop violating each other! We have work to do!"
"Shut up! Timeline changes are gradual, just like in Enterprise. We have plenty of time to go into the past!"

"Oh, fine," K said.
But after several hours of waiting, she put on a Lord of the Rings late Second-Age outfit, and went to go find a working time portal.

--

"Wow, I seem to keep running into strange motley crews," said Eomer, sexily.

"Oh crap!" shouted M. "That's Karl Urban! We're in the movie universe!"
"I don't understand." said Glorfindel.

"We set the time on our temporal wristbands to this point in time, but in the movie universe!"

"But that doesn't matter! The movies have already come out!"

"Yes, but we're in the past! That means it's probably the year 2000 right now... Alright then, modulate frequency to the second Lord of the Rings setting. It turns out our wristbands weren't messed up."

In a flash, Glorfindel and M vanished.
"Uh...bye," said Treebeard and he walked back to the forest.

"OK..." said Eomer. "Let's go boys!"

"Excuse me!" yelled K.

"Oh...what's up?"

"I beg your pardon, but have you seen-- Karl Urban?!?"
"Huh?"

"Oh!" And then K vanished too.

"What the fuck is going on?!"
"That's odd," commented Peter Jackson. "Karl looks agitated in this scene. I don't remember filming that. Guess we'll do some re-shoots."

--

SNAP
M and Glorfindel come out of the... the whatever is was they came through and find themselves in an empty bedroom in Imladris.
Glorfindel looks around triumphantly, "Ha! Home, finally."
M wanders over and stares out of the window, intoning in a doom laden voice, "We cannot linger here..."

Glorfindel ignores her, grabbing some clothes out of the wardrobe, "Here, put this on." He throws M a tunic, long enough on her to pass as a dress. She obeys and meanders over to the inside door, opening it just as he finishes dressing.
"M! Where do you think you're going?"
"Look for me when the sun rises in the east!"
"Oh no you don't. We can't let anyone see us!"
"What your elf eyes see?"
"An ex-narrator who's about to get us both into trouble, come, we have to move on."
M fiddles with her wristband. There is another flash and they are gone.

Seconds later:
Glorfindel enters his room. "Hello? I could have sworn I heard voices..." He looks around, the room is empty, all is as it should be. "How strange."

K snapped into existence in Glorfindel's room.
"Shit. Good thing I locked that inter-dimensional fishing line onto them." She noticed Glorfindel. "Oh great, and I have to clean up their messes. Look, you didn't see anything, especially not yourself with a little blond girl. This was all a asbestos induced hallucination. Check yourself into MIFT if you are still feeling uneasy."

As she snapped out of existence Glorfindel heard her mutter "I have got to get one of those MiB memory erasers."

--

SNAP
"Hold it!"
Glorfindel looked around. This was a dusty planet. People were pointing weapons at them so he raised his hands. M did the same. He saw crates, he saw some form of money, and he also saw...
"M? I've never seen a cowboy before, but these look like the definition."
"I'm a companion."
"That's good to know."
"How the HELL you two just pop outta nowhere?"
"Um, we were just on... Alliance vacation."
"Alliance!" One cowboy turned to the cowboy on the other side of the crate. "I thought you said Alliance never came out to this planet!"
While they were arguing Glorfindel realized he didn't recognize any of their uniforms from the Inter-Dimensional Fanficion Alliance. "Whew boy," he whispered to M. "We must be in a REALLY backwater fanfiction. I don't think they are even part of the Alliance."
"Hey you! Shut up or I'll shoot ya!"
M took a breath and Glorfindel groaned. "You take advantage of this little girl and you will go to the special hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."
"That's it, we're going." Glorfindel grabbed M's wrist and pressed any button.
Glor and M were gone.
A few seconds later K was there. "Oh no, not a pre-first-contact fic. Wait, I know this one. Ahem." She cleared her throat, oblivious to the guns pointed at her. "Do not be alarmed. The people you just saw are convicts being tracked by the Alliance. Do not let me interrupt your business. Forget that all three of us were here, as we will promptly forget you."
As she went she left another brilliant exit line. "Let's just hope they stay still this time."

--

SNAP
"Let's stop now." Glorfindel was fairly dizzy and a bit nauseated from all the inter-dimensional travel. "Where are we?"
"I don't know, but there's an infinite number of penguins outside that want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've just worked out."
"Ah, good." Glorfindel stood up. "This really is a barren place, isn't it?"
"It's Magrathea!"
"What?"
"The legendary planet of Magrathea! In the early days, when the galaxy was young and full of money, many young millionaires couldn't find a planet that was just right for them. Maybe the days were an hour too long, or the sea was just the wrong shade of pink. And thus was Magrathea created; a place where you can design your own planet."
"Wow, that was really very useful."
"It was nothing really."
"No, it was something. It shows an increase in your ability to pull abstract information out of your surroundings and put it to good use. It is a very encouraging sign."
"Oh. Forget it then."
"Um…"
SNAP
"There you two are! Is it possible for you to sit still for five minutes?"
"Back off. You can't have her."
"It's not easy being a cop!"
"My opinion is that we should all sit down and discuss the situation."
"The situation is I am taking her to be cured."
"DICED!"
"She can't be cured. Not in that way."
"You three are the ones who—"
WHIRRR
A rip opened in the air near them and Bayley, Dublevey, Elizabeth, and Luxor all stepped out.
"We got you now!" cried Dublevey. "TWO jumps to the same place were easier to track! That was your fatal flaw!"
Dublevey realized that everyone else was staring in silence. She stared. She recoiled.
K broke the silence first. She yelled at her wrist communicator. "S! E! Get your asses down here now or I will personally drag you out of bed by the genitals!"
A moment later the last two jumped to the planet.
"Yeah, yeah. What's the big cri—sis…"
They stared for a bit more. Not even M spoke.
Glorfindel suddenly looked behind him. "Where's my evil twin?"
The ensuing yelling was chaos.
"My evil twin is a Narrator?"
"Oh, we already took care of YOUR evil twin."
"Please don't mention Glordifle."
"My evil twin is an Alliance?"
"What writer messed this thing up."
"MY WHITE MICE!"
The company stopped to look at M.
"Look, all of you," said K. "This is the most powerful narrator. Only she knows what's going on. We have to set aside our differences and work together to help her communicate."
Bayley scoffed. "Cliché."
"Oh bloody hell!"

Editor's Note: Yes indeed, the Alliance Special Task Force and the Narrators are evil twins. Elizabeth is equal to M, Bayley is equal to S, Dublevey is equal to E, and Luxor is equal to K. There is more somewhere, but it may have been lost to the depths of time. Sorry.