NybCR: A WARNING to everyone who's about to read this: this story is meant only for those who have a high, HIGH tolerance for utter and complete stupidity, terrible writing, more stupidity, and a potentially illegal amount of uncreative Mary Sues. You have been warned!

(I think I'll put that warning up at the beginning of each chapter.)

NybCR: Hello! Okay, first I'd like to thank everyone for the reviews! Also, sorry for not explaining exactly what a Mary Sue is; there were a few people who didn't know. But ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you need to know about Mary Sues is in this essay from Contra Veritas... unfortunately, I can't put a link up or even type it out since the internet is so evil, so you'll have to type in the url youself. Just put "contraveritas", the "dot com" thing, and then "/funstuff/essays/marysues.htm".

Okay, now that that's cleared up...

to loonygrl90: (GASP) My first reviewer! YEAH! (glomps)

to Tikvah Ariel: Actually, I've heard the male Mary Sues being called a whole lot of things, including Marty Sam, Marty Stu, and Gary Stu. It all depends on where you look. As for this fanfic, they're called Marty Stus (Marty Sam from the previous chapter is just one of the characters). Also, I haven't read Attack of the Mary Sues... maybe I should...

to Ajariel the Bloody: (eyes cautiously and backs away slowly, then stops) Kidding! (glomps) Hooray for fellow Mary Sue Bashers! Don't worry, I don't mind rambling. I do it all the time, you see.

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter. Am reluctant to say I own the Mary Sues and Marty Stus. Ah, what the hey. They're MINE and you can't have them.

Prologue II
The March of the Marty Stus

Unbeknownst to the Mary Sues, Marty Sam had actually been acting as a spy in the meeting, and when he left the room with the exclamation "CHO'S HOT" he had secretly teleported to the other meeting that was going on.

Martin Steve and the rest of the Marty Stus were waiting for him. "Report, Marty Sam," Martin "Courageous" Steve stated courageously, even though there's really nothing to be courageous about... I mean, no! I didn't mean it! STAY AWAY FROM ME, MARTY S-

(Please pardon the interruption. Because of the incompetence of NybCR-who is a girl-to make the Marty Stus seem as perfect and amazing as the Mary Sues, she will be replaced with a MALE fanfic author - RCbyN - who can write Marty Stus how they should be written. Thank you.)

"Well, Martin," Marty "Stealth" Sam began solemnly, stealthily sitting down in his appointed chair, "it seems the Mary Sues are going to Hogwarts in one big Harry Potter Fanfic rather than a hundred small ones."

Martin swore courageously under his courageous breath. "Then it is as we feared. How are the Marty Stus supposed to compete with that many Mary Sues?"

"Just how many Mary Sues are there, Marty?" Marvin "Brilliant" Sugden inquired, and all the Marty Stus were in awe of his brilliance.

Marty sighed stealthily. "There are exactly 99 Mary Sues," he answered, his voice grave (and stealthy, of course).

"But there art only fourteeneth of us," Timothy "Dramatic" Svene exclaimed, his voice filling with unfathomable, dramatic woe. "O, woe and tragedy, all is hopelessly losteth! How caneth we, pitiful beings, competeth with they, wond'rous nymphs? O, woe and drama - "

"Oh, will you can the crap, already?" Martison "Grouchy" Stannard snapped, annoyed and grouchy. Timothy's dramatic, brown-flecked-with-blue eyes flared for a moment with dramatic indignation, but his twin brother Timarty "Creative" Svene managed to creatively calm him down. (No, I don't REALLY know how, just use your own "creative" imaginations. And, no, he didn't do anything dirty, you sickos.)

"Anyway, what should we do?" Marty asked stealthily, looking at his fellow Marty Stus.

"There's only one thing we can do," Marvin stated brilliantly, his brilliant black eyes shining with brilliance. "We have to invade the Mary Sues' fanfiction and cut down their numbers."

"Oh, really? We never would've guessed," grumbled Martmyer "Sarcastic" Stephen, his amber locks falling into his sarcastic hazel eyes.

Marvin, in his brilliance, knew better than to listen to Martmyer's sarcastic grumblings, and continued what he was saying. "Since there are so many Mary Sues, we must use their fan-girl instincts and mob mentality against them. We'll simply find someone they hate at Hogwarts - if we're lucky, Bellatrix Black or someone like her will be there - and convince the Mary Sues to go after them."

"Not all of them will go," Marty stealthily reminded him. Stealthily. "After all, some of those Mary Sues actually have a modicum of intelligence - Maria Sullivan, for one."

"Well, we don't need all of them gone," Martin put in courageously. "Just a good number of them."

Marty smiled, his handsome gray eyes gleaming with an inborn stealth. "All right, then. But what shall we call our plan"

"Well," Timarty said creatively, smiling, "since the girls are calling their plan 'The Parade of the Mary Sues'," (I wonder how he knows that?) "we should call our plan 'The March of the Marty Stus'."

"An excellently creative idea," Martin stated courageously. "Now let's get to Hogwarts before the Mary Sues do." And he courageously led the thirteen other Marty Stus outside, where a port key conveniently awaited them.

NybCR: You will (or won't) notice that the writing style in this chapter is slightly different from before. Well, there are two reasons: (1) I haven't updated for over two weeks :P, and (2) I want to keep this parody from sliding into monotony (Mary Sues seem to do that to a fanfic, don't they?) and so I'm making sure to keep the pattern changing. Oh, and (3) RCbyN is just me wearing a baseball cap. Seriously! I'm wearing a baseball cap whenever I'm typing for the Marty Stus (i.e., whenever I'm "pretending" to be RCbyN). The reason? I am HYPER today because I didn't put enough tea in my sugar this morning!

Questions, comments, criticism - let me know!