Small note: I just want to thank all of my reviewers! (insert happy face) Partially because you all seem so cool, but mostly because I "heart" reviews! And you know… you don't have to review just the latest chapter, you can review them all…Hint HINT, nudge NUDGE. ("Accidentally" nudges you too hard and you fall over.) Bow to me! Mwahahhaaha! O.O Um, since I got 100 reviews a bit back, I'm making this chapter longer. That's my thanks for y'all, like it or not. Anyway, thanks y'all! So, drink plenty of Gatorade and help me stock up on reviews! O.o

-Sour Schuyler, the Skittle fanatic

A bit later, Yugi was all nestled up against his pillow, his back to the headboard, reading a book of fairy tale parodies. I Am by hitomi played softly from the small stereo next to him.

I wonder where Yami is right no—

"Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugi!"

Yami? Yugi looked up but, to his immense disappointment, it was not Yami there, but Tea. "Oh, hey, Tea," he said coolly, trying to mask the disquietude that came over him when he saw the immense grin on her face. A grin that big couldn't bring any good.

"Hey Yugi." Grin.

"Um, what's going on?" Yugi looked around his room. "Did I uh… Did I miss something?"

Tea shook her head. And grinned.

Creepy.

"Nope," she started to say, "but I missed something earlier. I can't believe you didn't tell me that you were going out with Malik's yami!"

It actually took Yugi a second to comprehend this sentence, as he was already half-neglecting Tea in favor of his fairy tale book. "Oh, well—"

Luckily, Yugi wasn't anywhere near the edge of his bed when the announcement Tea had made to him reached the nerve center of his brain, or he would've fallen off and yelped. As it was, he yelped anyway.

"WHAT?" he yelled. Screamed, actually.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tea demanded, shoving him playfully. Her sapphire eyes shimmered with excitement and a certain pink mischief. She sat down on the edge of Yugi's bed, taking care to make sure that her underwear didn't peek out of her short skirt as she did so. To her cautiousness, Yugi said damn. …Mentally of course.

"That's ridiculous Tea!" Yugi argued, throwing his book at her head. It was a soft cover book, so it didn't hurt her much when it caught her face, dead-on.

"Is it?" she asked mischievously, tweaking her nose back into place. "Because I think somebody's—" she wagged her finger at him "—is trying to conceal the truth!"

" 'Somebody's is?' " Yugi pointed out.

"You know what I mean. Now tell!" Tea grinned at him and pushed him lightly again, urging him to tell her.

What the fack! Yugi voiced this.

" 'Fack?' " Tea teased.

"Shut up," Yugi snapped. "You don't know anything! We weren't… running… I was just helping him get away from the cops! I owed it to him! I stole money from Malik!"

Tea giggled. "You wouldn't do that!"

"Well, I did," Yugi stated gruffly. "Okay? Now go away."

"Stop lying!" Tea laughed. "You can't hide it, I already know. That's why Marik was over at your house when I went to meet Yami for our date, wasn't it?"

"Whut!" In cartoon world, Yugi's eyes popped out of his head. Scooping them up in his hand, he positioned them in his palm so that they stared at Tea. They blinked. In "the real world" (which is really a more realistic cartoon world anyway) they just grew to an astonishing size, probably the size of… um… oh, for the sake of comedy, let's say the asscheeks of a particularly large baboon.

"And I called Malik, and he said that ever since Marik's been trying to get some money from you—"

"The money I stole!" Yugi insisted. "You see, Marik's been harassing me—and actually, this one time, with Joey right next to me, he threatened to—"

"Whatever. Ever since he's been trying to collect some… dues from you, Marik's been acting, quote, 'really fucking weird'." Tea grinned like the Cheshire, possibly even wider because she had just used a 'naughty swear word.' "And then you two ran off the other day! Even if you were running from the police, I didn't see you again for four hours!"

That's because I spent three of them looking for YOU!

"We…" But Yugi lost his voice. "I left that place after an…" He lost it again. "Tea, you're…"

"I'm right, right?" Tea grinned.

"Yeah… right."

Yugi had meant it to be sarcastic, but for some reason he couldn't form any sarcasm in his voice. For some reason, his throat was threatening to swell shut. For certain, though, he was really mad at Alexander Graham Bell for creating the tool that Tea had used in her investigation.

"I'm right?" Tea grinned. "Oh my gosh! Yugi! This is so great! I knew you were gay!"

Tea gave him a voracious hug. Yugi would've tried to shove her away, if he still wasn't largely attracted to her. That, and her jugs were in his face. Bad Yugi!

"I… uh… yeah…"

Shit.

"Sure…"

No! Say no!

"Cool! So, how long have you two been going out?" Tea asked, smiling brightly at him. "Does Yami know?"

Just then, Yugi heard a door slam downstairs.

"No," he said quickly, "Yami doesn't know."

OH-OH! Oh-OH! Scotty Doesn't KNOW! …Wait, why am I thinking about that song NOW? O.O

"Yami doesn't know," Yugi repeated, "so please don't tell him. It's my job to do that."

Tea nodded, imbibing Yugi's every word excitedly. A pale sweat drop slunk down the side of the blonde's head. "Uhm… and we've been going out since last week," he added, the lie spilling out like water from a pitcher

"KAWAII!" Tea cherred.

Yugi sweat dropped. "Er, yeah, sure. Whatever."

Then something amazing happened.

Yugi forced himself to smile. Since he'd been doing this a lot lately, practicing around Yami in particular, it was a beautiful display; Yugi positively beamed at Tea. Poor Tea and Yami didn't even know that Yugi was quite the little actor, nor did they understand what drama they were a part of. In the world of cheerful theatrics, Yugi had become king.

For the record, he wasn't exactly sure why he was going along with this, but hey, if it made Tea happy… even if her "character" in Yugi's little spiel was the yaoi-obsessed, slightly-annoying but attractive interloper.

"Marik's a really… different… person," Yugi found himself saying. "I guess that's what I admire about him."

I do admire that about him.

Tea opened her mouth to say something. "So, have you two—"

The door swung open. "Hey, Yugi—"

"—yet?"

Yugi's violet orbs eyes enlarged. One of them twitched. Because he knew what Tea had asked, even if Yami had interrupted her. She was so gross!

Ignoring that, he smiled brightly at Yami. Ok, Tea's here, let's look like we're thrilled that she's talking to you, Yugi! Because you are, and Yami's expecting that.

But isn't that why I made the New Yugi? So I wouldn't have to do what people expect? This is kind of hard to explain, though. I already lied to Tea. She'd hate me if I told her I was just screwing with her. …Ok, that was a cool sentence. In the future, I should use that for shocking effects at every opportunity. Wait, what am I…? Oh, right. Yami.

Yugi grinned at his other half, a large grin. Whether this grin was sincere or not, Yugi wasn't sure; was he happier to be cut off from Tea's random array of explicitly uncomfortable questions, or was he happier when he was having fun spinning lies? It was like spinning a blanket; lies, like wool, can keep you warm. Lies can also shed light on the obscure darkness of inner comprehension; when you realize something is a lie, you have to have something true to compare it to, so that you know that it is, in fact, a lie. Yugi would soon find that out. But he wasn't thinking that far ahead yet.

He did like the fact that Yami would feel guilty from seeing him next to Tea.

"Hi Yami!"