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I don't own ATLA, but I do own my OCs.
Oh My Goodness! We have a new chapter finally!
"You are aware of what chakras are and how they affect the body and mind," Saraswati stated to the two before her. Clara and Agnimitra were still holding hands so communication wasn't an issue. Clara nodded. The three of them were sitting down by the small pond.
"The traumas that you have had to endure since you last unblock them have caused your body to go into a spiraling state, a survival state, to keep from shutting down. What is causing you the most distress is your overwhelming fears... Please, allow me to see them."
Clara took a deep breath and nodded again. The Goddess gracefully came up to her and gently placed her hand on the side of Clara's face. She closed her eyes in concentration. There was a warmth there before it seemed to vibrate a little. A moment later, she spoke.
"You fear the Fire Lord and whether or not he will allow you to live, scared of the outcome if he does find you useful, what you will be made to do to survive... You fear the people around you. That more of them will be like Mal Ten. That you will wake up unable to move again... Fear that Azula will harm you with lightning, leaving more scars on your body that you have tried to not think of... The fear of not being strong enough, fear of changing the future that you know, and the fear that you may die in the process of it all… You are drowning in fear, my dear."
Clara's heart was racing as all of her fears and more were stated. Agnimitra gently put her arms around her. The fire she gave off didn't burn, in fact, it was warm and so comforting. Tears were filling Clara's eyes. She felt so broken at that moment.
"You have been forced to endure so much you were not prepared for. This, what you are feeling, is the fallout of those traumas," Saraswati softly let go of her cheek.
Breathing heavily, Clara let her tears fall, "What can I do?" Agnimitra was still holding Clara tightly.
"Let yourself cry, my dear. You are allowed to do that. It is not a sign of weakness or defeat. Everything done here will impact you for the better when you leave."
Clara's vision blurred and her arms swiftly wrapped around herself. Agnimitra moved so she was holding Clara's shoulders as the girl curled forward and heaved out her sorrows. For a long time, all she did was breathe and cry. All of the things that had been going through her head were racing. The immense pressure she felt from her constant training, that she had to become better to be useful to the GAang... The almost assault, just because she had said no and he hadn't liked that...! And the constant fear that anything she ate or drank could be laced with whatever drug it was that made her unable to move! It wasn't long before she was wailing and screaming her frustrations and pain out. She had been holding so much down, treading water as her emotions kept rising like an ocean she had no control over!
Clara didn't know how much time had passed, but her throat hurt, and her body was sore from hunching in on herself. She slowly swallowed and tried to calm her breathing down. Arms still hugging herself, Clara was sad to realize that crying hadn't helped as much as she had hoped it would.
Looking back at the Goddess, she felt a little uncomfortable now, self-conscious.
Saraswati had a neutral expression on her face as she moved in front of the two. She raised a hand slowly to Clara's forehead before her hand began to glow. Clara felt her whole body relax, and feel at ease, similarly to how she had felt after she had unblocked her chakras.
"I have just given you a blessing of peace, to help with the anxiety. Focus on making your breathing slow and deep."
Clara didn't have trouble with this, it was what she had learned since starting her firebending training.
"You are in control of your thoughts. Your thoughts are like clouds in the sky, if you focus on your fears, your anxiety will only be made worse. You need to focus on something else. Thinking of what is to come is alright now and again but do not let it consume your every moment... Sorting through your thoughts will be the biggest change you can do for yourself. When you change the way you think about things, that is when the change in your thoughts will occur... We do not have to do the hard stuff alone, we were not meant to, we heal in connection."
"And I'll be there for you Clara!" Agnimitra smiled brightly at Clara, hands trying to comfort her by squeezing her shoulders. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, but in a good way, Clara smiled softly at her companion.
"Writing things down will also help you sort through your feelings and thoughts... All you can do is prepare for what is to come. Deep breathing will help you. Music is also soothing for the soul so I advise you to keep at that as well."
Clara nodded and felt a bit better at hearing ways to help with the anxiety. However…
"What if I mess up and the world ends up falling apart?"
The Goddess chuckled softly, "I highly doubt there's anything You can do that would result in the world ending. You may be unique compared to this world's people but you are still mortal. You need not worry so much about that. Remember Clara, it is not the mistakes that stop us, it is the fears. Do not let your fears make you hold yourself back from enjoying things."
Clara licked her lips and sighed, "I just wish there was a faster way to get through the next month... At least, I think it will be a month... but what I've seen of this world's future made time seem more fast-paced. I just want to be DONE with the Fire Nation."
Saraswati nodded, "There will be days that are better than others, your experiences will only get better if you work at improving and taking care of yourself. At the same time, do not be too hard on yourself. Nothing good will come from you putting yourself down."
Clara took a breath before nodding. She needed to figure out how to help herself.
"Accept that some things are out of your control my dear. That is one way that will help you release these fears."
Going through the chakras a second time was easier than Clara had thought. Granted it wasn't a walk in the park but it didn't take a week like with Guru Patik. Agnimitra had explained that time spent in this spiritual plane was different from the mortal one, allowing Clara to take her time without worrying about being taken out of this place.
A few chakras were still challenging to unblock. She had to let go of the tight grip she held onto when it came to her illusions. She was just one person and was only able to do so much even with her future knowledge. Accepting that was a struggle. Believing that she could make things better or worse was a little egotistical and she needed to trust the GAang and their abilities. They would be coming to the Fire Nation and she would make her escape with them.
Once Clara had successfully unblocked all her chakras did Saraswati bring up something she said would be demanding of Clara.
The Goddess smiled, "Now, how about I teach you how to overcome that toxin you fear so much!"
"What!?" Clara's eyes flew open in shock, "There's a way!?"
Saraswati shares with Clara how she can free herself from the drug that freezes her body in place.
"Because your soul is linked with Agnimitra you can firebend, and it is also why she was able to possess your body before. Due to this link, you can access some of her abilities too."
Agnimitra and Clara looked at one another the last bit was new information to both of them.
"For fire, it can be seen as the element of power and destruction, but in this case, you'd be using it to cleanse your body."
Saraswati explained how Clara would have to have fire consume her body similarly to how Agnimitra did before, however, there is the risk that Clara wouldn't be able to hold onto her body's form and could die by accident of her extinguishing the fire.
"Agnimitra knows how to hold onto her form when completely on fire because that is the natural form she was born with."
If Clara learns how to do this it could be used for other purposes as well, cleansing the body of toxins and size manipulation. She could potentially learn how to travel as a speck of flames on the wind.
"Let's start with something small. I want you to have your index finger become fire."
Clara tried to imagine the fire engulfing her finger just like Saraswati said. She felt as the heat traveled from her core, up to her shoulder, and down to her hand. Opening her eyes she saw the flame coming out of her finger, not around it.
"Will the fire to do what you wish," Saraswati encouraged.
Clara's eyes narrowed at the blue fire. It felt a little like she was trying to manipulate the fire like she did her telekinesis, pulling the fire down her finger. It was like she was wrestling with something invisible that didn't want to move. It took a lot of concentration and time but slowly it began to engulf her finger! She was proud for a moment, but-
"It burns!" Tears of pain leaped to her eyes.
"It burns because you have only covered your finger, instead of making your finger fire. You need to become one with your fire."
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes again, doing her best to ignore the pain.
Fire-Fire-Fire-Fire-Fire-Fire-Fire! Clara chanted in her head, to think of nothing else but fire.
Warmth, a cozy feeling, this is me! The Fire is a part of me!
Her skin burned for a couple more minutes before finally, the fire was all she could think of.
Squinting her eyes open, she saw that her whole hand was on fire now without pain.
"Woah…" Moving her hand up and down, the flames followed. Making a fist made it look like a fireball.
"Well done!" Agnimitra exclaimed, happy for Clara's progress.
"Now put out the fire while keeping your hands in their current form," Saraswati's voice cautioned, "Because if you don't, your hand will dissipate with the fire. All you have to do is remember how your hand looks without the fire, very simple."
Clara let out a nervous laugh, "Right…. Simple."
"Don't overthink it," Agnimitra smiled brightly. "It's simple!"
Breathing in, Clara focused on her hand. She'd always thought of her hands as ordinary, just a normal-looking hand, nothing to focus on, no moles or scars, etc. Which might be why she was struggling at the moment. She decided to look at her other hand. Thinking of this one, she closed her eyes.
It looks the same just in reverse…
Like ripping off a Band-Aid, Clara put out the fire as she visualized her hand.
Slowly opening one eye, she exhaled in relief when she saw her hand was fine.
"Well done," Saraswati nodded in approval. "Now if you continue to practice at this, you will one day be able to do that with your whole being. That is how you can cleanse the tetrodotoxin from your body."
"What kind of poison is that?" Clara knew they had been using something but hadn't been able to figure it out.
"It's a toxin taken from the liver of certain fish, like the dolphin-puffer or toadfish."
Clara nodded, still looking at her hand. Clenching and unclenching it before setting it down in her lap.
"Now that you have something to focus on besides training, and as long as you remember your breathing exercises, you should not find yourself spiraling the way you were before. Just remember that you have allies with you, and if you need help, Agnimitra can bring you to this plane again," Saraswati said as she stood up gracefully. All at once, the landscape transformed into the dark setting of stars in space. Clara followed the goddess forward with Agnimitra's hand going from her shoulder to holding her hand.
"Take care, Clara. Once you gain more confidence I look forward to what you do. And keep guiding her well Agnimitra," Sarawati smiled gently before her bird from before came down and the two became stars once more.
"It's probably been about two hours in the physical world since you got here. Rest up so we can face tomorrow with ease!" Agnimitra smiled and hugged Clara tightly. Smiling back, feeling like she can really breathe again, Clara watched as her vision became dark and she opened her eyes to the ship and the ocean breeze against her face.
Fun Fact: The toadfish is an actual animal that you can get tetrodotoxin from its liver. Please do not get any funny ideas from this.