AN: I know this chapter has taken ages and I'm sorry about that but real life has started making demands on my time now the academic year has started again, actually, the real reason for the delay was the fact that I really wasn't happy with this chapter for a long time.The second I finished it today... about four minutes ago, I spell checked it and uploaded it. Please let me know what you think, I already know that chapter one was better. The next couple should be better though... she says looking hopefully at her muse who is pretending not to listen... Enjoy!
AN 2: I know it's a lot longer than chapter one, that's because it's taken me ages!
"And you know what else irritates me about Booth? The way he expects us all to reduce our findings to something Parker, his five year old, would understand. It's been over a year since we started working together and he hasn't picked up any terminology he's overheard let alone done some independent research. He just doesn't think. At all. Ever. He thinks I have no people skills and then he goes and forgets my birthday. I bet he'd never forget Cam's. You know what that's not even the point."
"Tempe, can I just ask what the point actually is because you've been talking for almost an hour and it's the girls' bedtime."
"I'm sorry, I'm being irrational."
"It's understandable to be hurt when someone you care about forgets your birthday."
"I don't… we're not talking about Booth anymore are we?" Hearing her brother's resigned sigh down the phone calmed her considerable anger.
"It doesn't matter anymore, we're ok now and that's what counts."
"I missed fifteen of your birthdays Russ, that matters."
"Just don't miss the next one."
"I won't. I promise. Are you definitely arriving Saturday morning?"
"I'll be in DC on your birthday."
"Then at least I'll have one person to celebrate it with."
"Do you want me to kick his ass? He'd probably shoot me but I'd give it a try anyway."
"That won't be necessary. I have way and means of dealing with Booth that won't get anyone else arrested."
"You have a plan?"
"I'm a scientist. I have a hypothesis to test and many tested methods at my disposal to get results."
"What's the hypothesis?"
"That I know exactly how to annoy the hell out of him. Petty and irrational I know but there it is." Russ laughed and it was the laugh she remembered from before.
"It runs in the family. Do you remember when I was kicked off the football team for stealing the captain's girl?" Smiling at the memory Tempe replied in the positive.
"I told you exactly what chemical you needed to use to make their urine blue, and I helped you bake those cookies."
"Well I was the one who put them in their lockers."
"Well I was the one who wrote kept watch outside the nurse's office for you and told you when they all went to her thinking they were dying."
"You have to have the last word don't you?"
"I like to yeah."
"Well I'll see you next Saturday."
"You better."
"Bye Tempe."
"Bye Russ."
"Marco."
"Polo."
"Jack?" Hodgins looked up from his slime sample and tried to reign in his smile, "I need your help."
"Is it something devious?"
"Yes."
"I'm in."
"I want to plan a surprise birthday party for Bren at Wong Foo's next Friday night."
"I'm in."
"I need you to keep her from finding out while I organise everything."
"Anyone ever tell you that you're even cuter when you're scheming?"
"Did I interrupt another moment?" Rolling her eyes Angela began walking towards her office but stopped before taking out her card key and turned back. "Don't tell Zach… I'm going to make some calls."
"Don't tell me what?"
"Something you won't find out about until it's too late for you to ruin it. Did you finish cleaning those bones Brennan wanted to examine?"
"What bones?" At the panic in Zach's voice, Hodgins shook his head; it was almost too easy to be fun, almost.
"I'm not the one with the photographic memory Zach, that would be you."
"Booth."
"Hi it's Angela. Are you busy Friday night?"
"I have Parker, why?"
"We're all going to Wong Foo's for Bren's birthday, you can bring Parker…just don't sit him near Zach… or Jack. I'm hoping I can talk Russ into bringing his partner and her kids."
"That'd be nice for Bones."
"Yeah and you'd better be nice too. She thinks you forgot her birthday."
"I thought it was on a Sunday, not everyone keeps birthdays stored in a computer."
"Just make sure you show up and bring the necklace, in its box, gift wrapped."
"Goodbye Angela."
"Goodbye Seeley."
"Hi, can I speak to Russ Brennan?"
"I'm sorry, he's not in right now. I'm Adrienne, his partner. Who is this?"
"I'm Angela, Russ' sister is my best friend."
"Did something..."
"Nothing's wrong, I just wondered if you could get into DC a day earlier. We're throwing her a surprise party the day before her birthday and I know it would make her day
if you were all there, all four of you."
"She said that?"
"I'm her best friend. She doesn't have to say it."
"Give me a minute."
"Have two, I'm calling from work." After drumming her fingers on the desk in her office for a couple of minutes Angela heard movement down the phone. "Hello?"
"This is Emmy. What's your name?"
"I'm Angela. Is your mommy there?"
"MOM-MEE! PHO-ONE... she's coming."
"Emmy, can you sit with Caitlin while I talk to Tempe's friend? Thank you... Angela?"
"I'm here."
"The the girls aren't at school Friday, teacher training or something and Russ had already booked the day off. Friday should be fine."
"That's great, let me know when you arrive in DC and I'll meet you at the airport."
"That would be great, I'll call you when I know some details."
"Ok here's my number..."
"Bones get your coat we've got a case!" Seeing that familiar clear plastic board and post-it notes Booth grinned and peered over her shoulder trying to get a glimpse. "You writing a new book Bones? Am I in...?" Pausing at her look he sighed heavily, "Is Andy Lister in it again?" Pushing back her chair and walking over to her bookcase Temperance gestured at her computer.
"See for yourself." Booth plonked himself down in her chair and pleased at the thought of this unexpected treat. His grin rapidly faded after only a few words.
"What the hell kind of language are you writing in Bones?"
"Italian. Since it isn't one of the scientific languages and there haven't been any invasions of the country by American forces recently I assumed that I could write my book without people trying to read it over my shoulder or behind my back. You'll just have to read it when everyone else does."
"Which will be when exactly?"
"Two thousand and eight... maybe late two thousand and seven. After book three comes out."
"You're writing a book in a language nobody can read and it isn't even your next one but the one after? You have control issues Bones."
"Which, thanks to you, I'm already well aware of Agent Booth." 'Did she just call me Agent Booth? Oh shit, what did I do?'
"Bo- Temperance I..."
"Do I have some remains to look at or not?" The half hour drive was silent, Booth didn't know what to say and Temperance was perfectly happy to let him stew. On their arrival at the scene Bones strode out in front smiling at an officer she recognised.
"Hey Dr Brennan."
"Hey Officer Carter, where are the remains?" Scowling at the interaction between his forensic anthropologist and the local cop Booth stepped in front of her, causing two more scowls.
"Carter. What's the situation?"
"Local Girl Scouts out earning some sort of badge stumbled on the remains, the leader called us and I put in the request for Dr Brennan."
"Before you'd seen the remains?"
"No, I came down and wasn't sure one way or the other whether or not I was looking at a murder vic or a turkey so I made the call." Booth couldn't find anything wrong with the officer's behaviour and while he was thinking it over Bones surprised him again.
"Lucas would you mind showing me to the remains please? Agent Booth seems to have forgotten why we came."
"Sure Temp... I mean Dr..."
"Temperance is fine." Booth had gone from moderately annoyed to 'what the hell' during that little exchange, either Bones had had a personality transplant or he was being way too sensitive about her behaviour and reading too far into things. Surely she wasn't about to flirt over a skeleton. Shaking his head in a last ditch attempt to clear out the mental cobwebs Booth found himself arriving at the potential crime scene in the aftermath of a joke, a joke Bones had made, with a guy she barely knew, over a victim. Booth had passed WTF and was now beginning the climb to uber-pissed.
"That pun must be worn out by now Temperance."
"It was possible that you were going to tell a humerus story instead of a funny one."
"Possible but not likely. You already knew that story though didn't you?"
"The anthropologist Dr Harry Basehart being presented with a turkey's pelvis by a family physician who was under the impression it was a human skull is quite a well known story in my profession."
"I can't believe a doctor could ever confuse the two."
"MDs and even MEs aren't as knowledgeable as I'd like where the skeletal system is concerned. I've had ME's put a bone in a solution that removed any evidence on the bone and had actually begun to break down the osteological surface, another wanted to scrape off tissue when there was suction at the lab..."
"What a travesty." Bones smiled but there was less humour in it than before.
"It would have been if a vital clue had been lost because of someone's ineptitude and ignorance. I have a very low tolerance for incompetence."
"Understandably. Locard's principal dictates that every contact leaves a trace and if I had to find those traces I'd want people to be damn careful when they were near my crime scene." Brennan's smiled was wide and genuine.
"Exactly." Booth's frown deepened, what the hell was some uniformed grunt doing impressing his forensic anthropologist. Pausing while uncovering vertebrae Bones looked up and at Carter. "How's Mel?"
'She knows his girlfriend's name? Bones has been body-snatched, it's the only explanation.'
"Mel walked out last month, said she needed more than I could give, whatever the hell that means."
"Anthropologically speaking, Mel was incorrect. If a woman were looking for a partner you'd be an ideal candidate. From what I've seen you have all the traits women of this society desire when looking for a father for their future children."
"Thanks Temperance. Your check's in the mail."
"I don't... I was only stating the facts. It's an anthropological inevitability that you'll be seen as a desirable partner." 'Great now she's analysing him instead of the bones.'
"I appreciate the compliment. It's not everyday you get told by a brilliant anthropologist that your being hot is a scientific fact."
"I'm sorry, that was inappropriate."
"It was just what the doctor... no, I think one bad joke is enough." Temperance smiled at Lucas and continued with revealing the bones squinting at the recently unearthed pelvis.
"What's the hunting like around here?" Officer Carter looked at her curiously.
"Not bad, we get quite a few people around here when the season starts, why?"
"This isn't human. It's a deer, given the size I'd say Cervus elaphus, Red Deer. There's no case here." Booth clapped his hands and earned a glare from Brennan.
"Pack your bags Bones we're going home."
"I'm not done here, wait by the car." After summarily dismissing Booth she turned back to Lucas and began a conversation about the hunting in the area.
"Bones!"
"The car is over there Agent Booth, do you need me to walk you to it?"
"Finish up here Dr Brennan, we'll talk on the way back to DC." Marching through the woods and back to his car Booth was silently seething and called upon the one thing he knew that could calm him down, a prayer. "I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me. I was dumb with silence, I held my peace, even from good; and my sorrow was stirred. My heart was hot within me, while I was musing the fire burned: then spake I with my tongue, Lord, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am." Even after that he was still pissed enough to kick the nearest tyre on his car. After about ten minutes Bones joined him, tucking a piece of paper into her coat pocket. "That's really classy, picking up numbers over a corpse."
"I fail to see how it's any of your business, being neither my father nor my brother. Right now I'm not even certain that you're my friend."
"Bones what the hell is your problem!"
"I'm looking at it."
"You know your attitude is really beginning to piss me off."
"Welcome to my life. We've got a long journey ahead of us. Let's spend it in quiet meditation." Putting her headphones in while throwing his own words back at him, Bones turned on her mp3 player and started listening to jazz, Booth was left alone in the quiet car with only his thoughts and the road for company while Brennan thought about the conversation she'd had with Lucas before he gave her his number.
"I'm glad you called, even if the remains weren't human."
"Lab no fun anymore?"
"Something stinks and it isn't human remains."
"Agent Booth done something to upset you?"
"Besides forgetting my birthday?"
"Ouch. What did he get you last year?"
"A glass of wine."
"Ah. Did you forget his?"
"He never told when it was, I never asked."
"He has time to buy you a gift right?"
"A week."
"If he hasn't given you something in seven days you have me official permission to be mad. You never know, he might surprise you."
"I hate surprises."