Chapter 23: Eyes that are Willing to See
She ran with all the strength in her body. She didn't gasp for breath, as she normally would have under these circumstances. She didn't care if she would never breathe again after tonight, as long as her agile legs led her to the Hollow and let her kill the man who had manipulated her.
Her mind was in only one place. She saw his face again and again in her mind, crumbling before her, begging her for mercy as she tortured him as he had emotionally tortured her. She was a girl besot. Though she hated him fiercely, the hate grew from a love that only a woman can hold for a man, a sad adoration that would never be admitted by a strong, capable person. She dared to look at those who ran with her.
Ron looked frightened yet determined like he had never looked before. His eyes were set and focused and as she watched him, his eyes traveled to hers and he tried to smile weakly. She knew he had only attempted to smile to make her feel better. She knew he loved her deeply and would fight tonight not only for his sister but for her. For years she had denied her equal love for him, and now when it would have been so wonderful to let him hold her, she didn't feel the need. There was no love left in her heart for Ron, because, unfortunately, it all belonged to him.
She turned her head in the opposite direction as they hurried along and looked at Harry. His face was so young and boy-like still. It wasn't fair that after tonight his bright green eyes may never see those he cherished again. But then, she thought, maybe he would. Were he to fail in his all too important task he would go where he was meant to be with the parents who had sheltered and adored him for too short a time. He would be happier then she thought. She loved Harry with the depth of a sister who must always watch out for the brother who felt the world was on his shoulders. Should he move one-way, the globe may fall and she hoped that if it did, it would fall to her shoulders. She was unwavering in her feeling that if she would never see this dear, dear man again, she would hope he knew hope much she loved and cared for him.
Swiftly, she looked ahead again. She could no longer stand to say her mental goodbyes to them any longer. Her throat was hot with tears, burning into her, choking her fiercely but should not let them fall from her eyes. She would fight them back with her remaining strength for she had work to do. She focused again on what she had to do.
Once they made it to Godric's Hollow they would rush in, wands blazing. She would make sure Ginny was safe and then would find the man she was looking for. She hoped the next time Severus Snape laid eyes on her; he was writhing with pain and despair. She hoped that because of her he would no longer be there to torture anyone. She hoped that when he died her love for him would die too.
III
He turned and dodged another hex. Everything around him was exploding. He saw people he both loved and despised crushed beneath the heavy hand of death and destruction. Time was moving at lightning speed but still his mind was in another place. He wished with all of his might that he may return to that place that had held so little charm only a little bit ago.
She was all he wanted and needed at that moment. He wanted so dearly to cease the fighting around him, destroy the man who controlled him, and hold in his arms the one person who made any sense to him. She was so far away, and by the time she knew what was happening he would probably be dead.
The Order member he was combating with fell to the ground stone dead. He closed his eyes in a quick blink trying to mourn the death of someone who was almost a friend. He wished he were not here, killing, murdering, for those he wanted to fight with. He damned the Dark Lord in that moment for controlling his every skilled movement. He wanted so dearly to strangle the life from his new form and make him suffer as he was suffering.
The sides were growing weaker as their opponents dropped like flies. He hoped that soon it would be over and he would be free to enter the dreamscape that he longed for. To hear her voice again would be all he needed, he decided. To hear her whisper to him, to tell him a story, to ask a silly question even. He never knew he could care like this. His heart was no longer a dried up organ but a truly tortured, beating, bleeding, feeling thing that caused him to hurt more than it helped his tired limbs by keeping him alive.
The ranks were dropping on all sides. Only a bit longer and it would be over, but who would be the victor no one could tell. He cursed himself for beginning this and cursed everyone who kept him from his one true goal. He dared a glance across the 'battlefield' and saw the man who fathered and mentored him for years crumble and remain still. He said a silent prayer for his soul. Time was cruel, he thought, for killing those that held the fate of so many in their competent grasps.