Title: One Stupid Person

Author: quixotic-hope (harrysev)

Beta: Amanda Saitou

Pairing: Harry/Severus

Rating: R

Genres: Romance, Angst, Fluff, First time

Warnings: slight-AU (ignoring HBP)

Spoilers: 1-5

Summary: Having lost his value as a spy for the light, Severus must now take a Death Eater-aging potion and befriend the dratted Boy-Who-Lived. But what happens when he starts falling in love?

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling. I mean no harm by using her characters in this story. I am making no money whatsoever; I merely hope to entertain people.

Note: This chapter takes place in December. Sorry if you all think this is moving too fast, but I don't know how else to write it.

Chapter 8: Out of the closet and into his arms

Harry paced nervously in front of the fireplace. This was the day he was finally going to tell his best friends that he was gay. Harry took a deep breath.

What if they hate me? wondered Harry. What if they never speak to me again? What if they tell everybody, and then everybody else hates me, too? And then Alan will hate me as well, and I will be all alone.

Harry's thoughts weren't leading him in a very positive direction. Harry took a quick glance over at Alan, who was reading over in a nearby corner. Harry wanted to come out to Alan as well, but with his growing feelings for the boy, Harry didn't want to scare him off just yet. Besides, Ron and Hermione had been his best friends for seven years; they deserved to be the first ones to know the truth, even if he was closer to Alan than Ron and Hermione.

Harry started when he heard someone enter the Common Room. He looked up and saw Ron and Hermione walk over to him. Harry took a deep breath. This was it.

"Ron? Hermione? Can I talk to you guys for a minute?" he asked in a voice that was much quieter than usual.

Ron and Hermione exchanged quick glances before Hermione said, "Sure. What can we do for you?"

"Just sit down for a minute. I have to tell you two something."

Their curiosity was enough to make them sit down, particularly when they saw the anxious look on Harry's face. What could have happened?

Hermione's thoughts immediately flew back to the train ride on the first day back when Harry had defended Snape. Ron's head was completely void of ideas.

"What is it?" asked Hermione in her gentlest voice.

"I-I don't know how to tell you this," said Harry. "I've been meaning to tell you guys for a while, but…"

"What is it?" Hermione prodded again once Harry had trailed off.

"I'm…well, you see…I'm gay." Harry mumbled the last part, the real confession, under his breath.

"What?" asked Ron.

"I'm gay," Harry repeated a little louder this time, his eyes looking anywhere other than Ron and Hermione.

There was silence. Then—

"That's sick," said Ron, his face morphing into a look of complete disgust.

"Ron—" Harry started, looking up from his hands.

"Stay away from me, you freak!" yelled Ron, causing a good portion of the common room's occupants to turn and look at them.

"You're disgusting," sneered Ron. He then turned to leave.

Harry's eyes filled with tears. Yes, he should have known that Ron would react like this. You couldn't blame a guy for hoping, though.

"I'll talk to him," said Hermione gently. She saw tears in Harry's eyes, and she felt horrible. "It'll be okay, Harry."

With that, she turned and walked away to find Ron.

Harry stood in the middle of the common room, tears streaming down his face. Feeling everyone's eyes on him, Harry turned and ran out of the room.

xxx

Severus sighed. He had several mixed feelings right now. On the one hand, he was surprised to hear that Harry (Potter!) was gay. On the other hand, he really should have known it when Harry looked at that sexuality book. While Severus was slightly happy to hear Harry admit to being gay, he was sad to see Harry in so much pain.

Severus wanted to curse Weasley to the ninth circle of hell where he would take his place next to Judas Iscariot and be chewed up by Satan(1).

Severus saw Granger take off after Weasley and was once again fighting conflicting emotions. While he was angry at Granger for leaving Harry alone when he obviously needed support, he was pleased that maybe now he would have a chance to comfort Harry.

Wait a moment…when the hell did Severus start comforting people? He didn't know how to comfort anyone. Damn. Sighing again, Severus saw Harry flee the common room and knew he had to do something. Banishing his book up to his dorm, Severus got up and followed Harry out of the common room.

xxx

Harry ignored everyone around him as he fled the common room and ran to the lake. Once he reached his destination, he flung himself behind a tree and sobbed.

He should have known this would happen. Of course Ron would hate him. Why wouldn't he? After all, the Boy-Who-Lived was supposed to be normal. He was supposed to set a good example. He was supposed to like girls.

Harry felt someone sit down next to him and looked up. It was Alan. Shit. Harry turned around and buried his face in his hands.

xxx

Severus saw Harry collapse behind a tree and hurried over to him. Severus could see the pain Harry was in, and he felt his chest tighten in spite of himself. He knew what it was like to feel ashamed, to feel alone, and he hated that Harry knew what it felt like as well.

Severus sat down next to Harry. He saw the shame in Harry's eyes before he hid his face, and Severus knew he had to do something.

"Harry, I—"

"You heard, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did," answered Severus softly, hating the misery he heard in Harry's voice.

Harry wiped his eyes and looked at Severus.

"Then what are you doing here?" Harry asked dejectedly. "I'm a freak. You should go hang out with someone else."

He didn't know why he did it. After years of self-control, years of denying that he even had a heart, Severus found he was unable to sit there and watch Harry fold into himself. He had to do something.

Reaching out, Severus brushed his fingers across Harry's cheek. He saw the other boy look up, shocked. Seeing no disgust, however, Severus continued. Leaning forward, Severus pressed his lips to Harry's. He heard Harry's gasp and pulled back a little.

"Harry," Severus tried again, and this time Harry didn't interrupt him. "You're not a freak."

xxx

Harry was too amazed to speak. Alan had kissed him! He didn't think Harry was a freak. Wait a minute, did this mean Alan was gay, too? Realizing that Alan had just kissed him, Harry felt it was safe to assume that Alan was indeed gay, or at least bi.

Biting his lip, Harry looked into Alan's eyes, searching for any sign that the older boy was playing a cruel joke on him. Seeing only sincerity and concern in those eyes, Harry smiled shyly before leaning forward and gently kissing Alan.

xxx

As he felt Harry's lips against his own for the second time, Severus knew he had done something bad.

He had fallen in love with Harry Potter.

He had kissed Harry Potter.

Harry Potter thought he was Alan Rickman.

Harry was never going to forgive him.

(1) From Dante's Inferno, very amusing book, that is.