Author: quixotic-hope
Rating: M (just to make sure, but it's more like T)
Pairing: Harry/Sev (of course)
Genres: Romance, angst, fluff
Beta: Molvanian Queen-In-Exile
Summary: Sev de-ages himself to spy on Harry and ends up falling in love with him instead.
Author's Note: This is it-the chapter you've all been waiting for. Harry finds out that Alan is really Severus.
Chapter 11: Nightmares
The room was silent. Twenty or thirty children lay in their beds, all fast asleep. All was still.
All was not still.
Without any warning, a loud blast shook the building. Hooded figures in cloaks were appearing out of thin air, blasting apart various objects for amusement's sake. They made their way upstairs, heading for the room in which the now awakened children were. The Death Eaters were heading closer and closer to the room. They opened the door. There was a high-pitched scream—
Harry Potter woke with a start. His heart was pounding, his scar was burning, and his face was dripping with sweat. As he fought to catch his breath, one thought registered: Voldemort is attacking an orphanage!
Harry leapt out of bed and ran over to Alan's, intent on telling the other boy to come with him. However, Alan wasn't there. Confused, Harry shook his head. He didn't have time to worry about where Alan was. He had to find Dumbledore.
xxx
Severus Snape really hated Dumbledore. Yes, the man had saved his life plenty of times and had believed in him when no one else had. So what? Right now, Severus would rather have been fighting Voldemort alone and without a wand than sitting here, forced to stare into those damn twinkling eyes.
He supposed he should be relieved that Dumbledore was supportive, but Severus couldn't shake the nagging suspicion that this had been Dumbledore's plan all along: to get him and Harry together.
"Tea, Severus?" asked Dumbledore pleasantly.
Gritting his teeth, Severus snapped, "Fine."
Smiling, Dumbledore poured Severus some tea and then returned to quietly sipping his own.
"So, Severus, how have you been this past month?"
"The same as every month," returned Severus irritably. He could have been sleeping right now.
"And how's Harry?" the old man asked in the same annoyingly pleasant voice.
"I suppose he's fine as well."
"Come now, Severus, surely you can tell me more than that. I gave you this assignment because Harry was depressed. Surely you can tell me more than 'he's fine.' I would imagine your new relationship with him makes it easier for him to trust you."
xxx
Harry raced through the halls and up to Dumbledore's office. Yelling the password, Harry dashed upstairs. He was about to knock when he heard voices within.
"Severus, how have you been this month?"
Severus? thought Harry. He's back? He listened for the reply, wanting to hear the Potion Master's voice after so many months.
But he didn't hear the Potion Master's voice; he heard Alan's. Then the Headmaster asked how he, Harry, was doing, and once again Alan's voice answered.
What was going on? Sure, he hadn't heard Snape's voice in a while, but he knew it didn't sound like Alan's. Harry leaned closer to listen, all thoughts of the orphanage forgotten.
"I gave you this assignment because Harry was depressed…"
Harry stood still, shocked. He couldn't have heard that right. Alan couldn't be Severus…He couldn't be! Severus Snape would never want to be in a relationship with him.
But the rest of Dumbledore's words registered: "I would imagine your new relationship with him makes it easier for him to trust you."
So that was it. Severus hadn't been gone—he had been Alan. And Alan wasn't interested in Harry at all—he was simply dating him because Dumbledore told him to.
I guess I was right all along, Harry mused sadly. Alan wasn't worried about moving too fast; he was disgusted by me.
Eyes filling with tears, Harry turned to leave only to find himself face-to-face with Professor McGonagall. Startled, Harry jumped back.
"Potter, what are you doing here?" she asked sharply. Seeing the tears in his eyes, her eyes softened. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," lied Harry. Then, remembering why he had come here in the first place, said, "I dreamt that Death Eaters were attacking an orphanage!"
McGonagall was immediately on alert. "You need to speak to the Headmaster." And with that she ushered Harry through the door so quickly that he didn't even have a chance to protest.
"Albus, Potter's had a dream," she announced as soon as she entered. Then she saw Alan. "I'm sorry to interrupt," she added too late.
xxx
Severus looked up as soon as the door opened, revealing Harry and Minerva. Severus saw the tears and pain in Harry's eyes and immediately began to pray to any deity that might exist that Harry was crying because of the dream he'd had and not because of what Albus had said.
"What did you dream, Harry?" asked Dumbledore, he too noting the pain in Harry's eyes.
"I dreamt Death Eaters were attacking an orphanage," Harry answered, determined not to look at Alan/Severus. "My scar hurt, but I don't know if that was simply his trying to trick me or if that was really happening."
"Do you know where it was?" asked Dumbledore.
Harry shook his head. "All I know is that there were about twenty to thirty kids in the room, sleeping. The Death Eaters started Apparating in. They were breaking things as they made their way up to the kids."
"So it's a two story building," said Dumbledore. "Thank you, Harry. I'll be sure to look into this. Is there anything else?"
Harry shook his head again.
"Okay, you can head on back to Gryffindor Tower. In fact, Alan, why don't you go with him. We can finish our discussion later."
"That's okay, Professor," said Harry. "He can stay. I'm sure Professor Snape will be able to help you in some way." And with that, Harry tuned and walked out of the room quickly in an attempt to hide his tears.
The room was silent after Harry left. Minerva was surprised that Harry had discovered the truth. Severus was devastated. Dumbledore was worried about the orphanage. Severus broke the silence first.
"You bastard."
"Now, Severus—"
"No! You knew that he was listening. You had to have known that he was standing right there. You know every damn thing that goes on at this school. Now all of a sudden you don't know that Harry Potter is outside your door?"
Minerva was surprised at Severus' outburst, but Albus wasn't. He had known that Harry was standing there the entire time. He had also known that Severus still hadn't told Harry who he really was, something that he should have done long before he started a romantic relationship with the boy. Albus was sure that everything would work out fine. All the boys needed was a nudge in the right direction.
xxx
He should have known that it was too good to be true. Alan had been funny, attractive and smart—smart enough to realize that the deserved someone way better than Harry. What did he think Alan could have possibly seen in him?
Knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep and not wanting to be there when Al—when Professor Snape got there, Harry didn't return to the dorms. Instead, he decided to go for a walk around the castle.
Cursing himself for not bringing a cloak with him, Harry sat down on the snow under his favorite tree: the tree under which Alan kissed him for the first time. Harry wondered if Alan had planned on kissing him or if the decision to kiss him had been a spur-of-the-moment decision; one that Severus figured Dumbledore would approve of.
Harry tried to stifle his tears, as they only made his frozen face colder. He had no family, no friends, and, now, no lover. How had he gotten himself into this situation? His heart continuing on its path of self-destruction, Harry finally gave in and let the tears fall.
xxx
Harry wasn't in his bed when Severus returned to Gryffindor Tower. Severus immediately tried to squash the feeling of guilt that was rising in his chest. Okay, so he probably should have told Harry sooner. All he had wanted was a little more time with the green-eyed wizard.
What Severus didn't understand was why Harry had looked so sad. Disgust Severus could understand. Anger was perfectly understandable, too, but sadness? Hurt? Severus didn't understand why Harry would be feeling either emotion, but he knew he had to find out. There was still a chance (a small chance, but a chance nonetheless) that he could make things right. But before he could do that, he had to find Harry.
And Severus knew exactly where to find him.
A/n: Okay, if anyone feels that Harry should have been screaming mad instead of sad then, well, sorry. I could only model Harry after how I would feel in that situation, and I would want to get out of there as soon as possible.