Chapter Two: Hand-Holding

The dwarves had for the most part not disappointed Bard's expectations. While Balin, the negotiator, was polite enough, the rest of the group of dwarves were either aloof, mistrustful, or unimpressed by what Bard had been able to do to help them. In all honesty, he didn't much care for their opinion. It wasn't as if he was much impressed by them. They were overly secretive and suspicious, fitting their reputation remarkably well.

Bluebell, though, she was something else entirely. While the dwarves treated him as an enemy, she was quick to see him as an ally. Her smile was sincere and unguarded when she talked with him even though her traveling companions (a brooding dwarf with sharp blue eyes and greying black hair in particular), were obvious in their attempts to keep her away from him. It was her he thought of when he had to convince himself to help the dwarves, despite their abrasiveness. Helping them would help her, and he never wanted to have to see her in trouble.

Still, though, as the dwarves spat at the weapons he had managed to provide for them he had to clench his fists to restrain himself from punching the brooding, arrogant one in the face. He ended up storming out of his house before he kicked the whole lot out on the street (or water as it were).

After walking around for a while, making sure that no one suspected him of smuggling dwarves into his house, he went back inside to find Bluebell talking intently with Sigrid. He meant to leave them in privacy but then he heard Sigrid talking about him and knew that he couldn't pull himself away. Hearing Bluebell share about her own family was not something Bard had accounted for in his decision to listen, though. He never would have guessed that she had been through so much pain. He had barely kept going when his wife had died and he'd had three children to take care of. He couldn't imagine losing both his wife and his children at once. She was stronger than he had ever expected.

He was about to slip away before they noticed him, when Bluebell looked over at him. Pure embarrassment and more than a little panic filtered across her face before she guarded her expression and excused herself to check on her companions. Bard felt terrible for intruding on something so private, but at the same time he couldn't help the strange feeling he had in his chest as he watched her walk away. This was a strong, beautiful woman who had not only been through the same pain he had endured but had learned to live again. It was a connection he couldn't ignore, not when he had already felt drawn to her.

"How is Kili doing?" Bluebell asked Oin, honestly very worried about her friend, even if she had used checking on him as an excuse to get away. She was fond of the young dwarf, viewing him almost as a nephew even if he was technically older than her.

Oin shook his head, presumably not wanting to talk too openly with the lad's uncle and brother in hearing-shot. Bluebell frowned, seeing for herself how pale Kili's skin was. He had managed to fall asleep, which was good, but she was positive that if she touched her hand to his forehead it would be burning up.

"Baggins!" Bluebell turned around to see Thorin waving her over. She reluctantly responded to his summons, knowing that it was better to keep him in a good mood but also annoyed at the rudeness of his summons. She wouldn't call out "Oakenshield!" if she wanted to speak to him, nor if she did would her tone always be so gruff.

"What is it?" She purposely didn't say his name as the dwarves insisted on keeping their real business secret.

"You've been spending far too much time with the bargeman and his family."

Bluebell sighed in exasperation, feeling her temper rising at the arrogant tone he had. "I don't see any reason why it would be any of your concern who I spend my time with as long I don't talk about the quest."

Thorin glared at her, obviously feeling like she had challenged his authority. "I'm the leader of this company, I believe that it is my prerogative to dictate how you spend your time as long as you are under contract."

"Believe it or not, I read that contract and I don't recall any wording that implied me being a slave until we faced Smaug." Bluebell made sure to keep her words quiet but her tone left Thorin in no doubt about the contempt she was currently feeling.

Thorin hissed at her before responding. "You speak so freely of our purpose while surrounded by spies."

"Spies? Bard and his family have only helped us. They even found weapons for us even if they aren't what you expected. Without Bard, we'd be stuck on the edge of Mirkwood without supplies or any way to defend ourselves. Or worse, he could have sent us right back to Thranduil's prisons."

"He helped us because it helped him, given the chance he'd sell us out in an instant if it didn't incriminate him. Stay away from him. Men are not to be trusted."

"Just like anyone who isn't a dwarf isn't to be trusted. In case you've forgotten I'm a Hobbit. I left my home behind to help you. Why is it hard for you to believe that a man might be willing help us. You say that he only helped himself but then why would he have lent me the coat of his own back. You didn't pay him to do that, did you?"

Rather than this logic changing Thorin's mind, he grew even angrier.

"You've proven yourself, just like men have proven themselves to be greedy and bigoted. If this Bard has been kind to you it's only because he wants you in his bed."

Bluebell gasped in shock and flushed red, in both embarrassment and in anger. Not only did he suggest something so vulgar he did it with most of the company within earshot. And she could tell by the interested looks on their faces that they had been paying close attention her and Thorin's argument.

"He is a grieving widower with children to look after! How dare you insinuate something so crass! It's not just insulting to our host but insulting to me." She shook her head at him walking away, trying to find a place in the crowded house that was somewhat free of stone-headed dwarves. Instead she ended up being approached by the other person she was hoping to avoid, Bard.

He looked at her, a worried, almost angry expression on his face. "That conversation didn't sound so pleasant."

Bluebell blushed again, "Did you hear what we were saying?"

Bard shook his head, "No, but I could tell you looked upset and he looked angry. Are you alright?"

"Just upset, and bit angry."

"I won't ask what you were talking about, I'm sure I've already learned more of your private matters today than you would've preferred."

"How much of Sigrid's and my conversation did you hear?"

"Enough, I heard how I've been keeping her from being happy and I heard you comfort her. I heard her about…" Bard trailed off.

"About Rosabella and my husband." Bard nodded and Bluebell fell silent and looked down at her hairy feet, not wanting to see the pity in his face when she could hear it so clearly in his voice already.

"I want to offer you my sincerest condolences, I can't imagine losing a child as well as a spouse."

"Bad things happen. No that's wrong, terrible, unimaginable things happen." Bluebell looked up at him when she spoke, it required craning her neck, but somehow she couldn't help the desire to know how he felt. What she saw reassured her that she wasn't alone in her feelings, in her pain. His eyes shared the same haunted look she saw in the mirror whenever she dropped her mask. Suddenly, it was less important that Bard knew her past, what was stronger than her pride was her desire to comfort a fellow victim. It was that desire that had her sharing with Sigrid and it was that desire that now had her reaching up a hand to grab his hand, trying to give some relief to the pain in his eyes.

He started at her touch, but relaxed almost immediately, something resembling contentment in his eyes.

"You know it's not your fault that Sigrid has been struggling. She loves you so much, that's why she wants you to be happy."

Bard closed his eyes and sighed, obviously not believing her words. "If I hadn't been such a bad father, she would know that I want her to have what happiness she could get. I've relied on her far too much. She should have had a proper childhood. Instead she's had to be a mother to Bain and Tilda."

"If you were a bad father, I doubt your children would love you the way they do. Sure they haven't had the privilege of a two-parent family, but that's not your fault. And from the time I spent with her, Sigrid seems like a lovely, kind young woman. Don't do your children the disservice of underestimating the wonderful young people they've grown into."

It wasn't until she finished speaking that she realized how intently he was looking at her. His gaze was intense and admiring, making her feel pleasantly warm from the tips of her ears to the toes of her feet. At that moment, holding his hand felt less like a comforting act and more like an act of intimacy between a courting couple. She started to let go of his hand but Bard didn't let her, clasping both her hands in his own and kissing them lightly and tenderly. Gratitude and something she dare not name in his eyes. A cough sounded behind them and Bluebell paled at the sight of Thorin and the rest of the dwarves glaring mistrustfully at Bard and, to some extent, her. She blushed and forcefully pulled her hands away from Bard's, her heart beating fast. She was honestly terrified. While Thorin had to be wrong about Bard having only lecherous motivations in his actions she had obviously been wrong in the belief that he viewed her only as a lady in need. He looked a bit disappointed at her retreat but also understanding.

"Thank you for your kinds words, they mean much from a woman such as yourself." Bard looked around before continuing. "It looks like Sigrid is dishing up the soup, you best get some and try to get some sleep. I'm sure it's been a long day for you." Bard smiled at her before leaving her side, giving her a chance to think about what had just happened before trying to talk to him again. She had to figure out how to let him down easy if he did want to court her. Because no matter how handsome and kind Bard was, she was not ready to risk another heartbreak. Besides, there was a dragon still to face and no guarantee that she would survive. To fall in love now would be cruel to them both when they both had already suffered enough heartache.