A Practical Guide to Malevolence

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. Several movies would have followed very different scenarios in the contrary case. I don't own A Practical Guide to Evil. It belongs to our Lord and Saviour erraticerrata.

"The most important part of any summary execution is to remember to have fun and be yourself." Dread Empress Malevolent II.

Twenty-two years before the Battle of Yavin

Outer Rim Territories

Separatist Space

Geonosis

Petranaki Arena

Count Christopher Dooku, leader of the Separatist political movement, former Jedi, Sith Apprentice under the name of Darth Tyrannus, was somewhat a connoisseur in wild beasts and ferocious predators. This was why he had insisted Poggle the Lesser unleashed an Acklay, a Nexu, and a Reek on the two Jedi and Senator Amidala.

It was certainly not going to be enough to kill the three Republican representatives, but the sheer viciousness and murderous behaviour of these beasts would guarantee an impressive spectacle for the audience of one hundred thousand Geonosians.

This was why the surprise was absolutely total when the former Queen of Naboo's chains fell broken to the ground and in a jump which should have been impossible to anyone not trained in the use of the Force, proceeded to land on the Nexu and use it as an improvised ride. The second surprise was that it didn't cost her life. Logically, the Nexu should have immediately rebelled against the human mounting it.

But the Nexu seemed perfectly content to obey the orders of his new 'owner', and proceeded to charge the ozay-mounted Geonosians deployed on the arena's floor. The intrepid Geonosians, if he remembered correctly Poggle had called them the Picadors, were the elite of the Geonosis gladiators, though given the monumental cowardice of the species, it wasn't as much a big endorsement as it should have been.

Today they realised that to stop a well-led Nexu, they really needed more than stun poles and other shock batons.

"What is she doing?" the enraged squeak of Nute Gunray, the idiotic Viceroy of the Trade Federation, resonated in the air as the Nexu begun to savour once more Geonosian flesh. "She isn't authorised to do this! Jango! Kill her!"

The Sith Apprentice smiled and shook negatively his head, silently ordering the Mandalorian mercenary to do nothing of the sort.

"Patience, Viceroy. She will die." Inwardly, Dooku was beginning to wonder what his Master had hidden from him, as the Senator of Naboo had an expression of utter glee on her face, and by this point it was obvious she wasn't trying to escape. No, Amidala was proceeding to hunt the Geonosians trapped with her in the arena and deliver them as lunch for the Nexu.

While she wasn't using the Force like a Jedi or even a Sith would, the Senator was obviously using...something to make herself more powerful. Her presence was a burning flame...a black flame that even a Sith of his skills was wise enough to recognise as a potential danger.

Nute Gunray, for once in his pathetic existence, might not be wrong. The benefits of letting Padme Amidala live longer were now seriously beginning to be outweighed by the drawbacks.

And as if nothing further could go wrong, Anakin Skywalker mind-controlled the Reek masterfully and sent it slamming into the Acklay, beginning a fight to the death between to the death between the two super-predators.

Dooku sighed, before making the silent signal to one of his subordinates to unleash the droidekas. Not all of them, he wanted the reinforcements of the Republic to arrive in time and give a legitimate casus belli to the newly-united Confederation of Independent Systems and-

The Count of Serenno frowned as Amidala descended from the Nexu – and marvels of marvels, the beast prostrated itself before her. As the Jedi Padawan ran towards her, the not-so-pacifist Senator seized him and kissed him deeply, obviously not caring at all she had an audience of one hundred thousand Geonosians.

The expression on Obi-Wan Kenobi's face was so priceless Dooku couldn't help but chuckle.

"Ah, young love," Jango Fett said, one of his hands running in the hair of his 'son'.

"Are they going to make love to each other?" Dooku outright burst into laughter, his dignified holo-image be damned, as he was reminded Mandalorian adults were teaching their children the basics of sexual relationships at a very young age.

"Maybe," the adult version of the Mandalorian duo replied, "but not in the arena, I hope."

If amusement reigned on part of the balcony, the Neimodian corner was incandescent with fury.

"Dead!" Nute Gunray was shrieking. "I want her dead!"

The voice of this imbecile was seriously annoying his ears. No Neimodian was indispensable to the Grand Plan, but Dooku swore to himself he was really going to ask Sidious if Gunray's involvement could be put to an end after this battle.

The Sith Lords needed a viable puppet to control the Trade Federation for a few more years before nationalising it and eliminating this disgusting species. But any average Neimodian would do the job, and Nute Gunray had proven that his skills were well below the average aside when it came to shift the blame on his subordinates.

The droidekas began to roll into the arena. They were over a dozen of them, a sufficient force to neutralise one Nexu, one Senator and two Jedi.

At least they would be able to delay the affair until more Jedi and Republican forces arrived.

This part of the Grand Plan was suddenly thrown out through the closest window when he saw the female Senator rising her fist in the air and scream.

"INVISIBLE ARMY! ATTACK!"

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" Nute Gunray gloated. "This female is completely mad! There is no army but ours on Geonosis! Besides, Naboo has no army! The Republic has no army! Who does she expect to come to her rescue?"

In the days after this unplanned disaster, Christopher Dooku would certify to the rare people he could confide in the matter that yes, Gunray had taunted the Force far too much to have a chance of survival.

It was still a problematic surprise to see his throat be impaled upon a spear.

"NOBODY EXPECTS THE INVISIBLE GUNGAN ARMY!" shouted the non-human creature which had just materialised behind the dignitaries. "OUR CHIEF WEAPONS ARE-"

Dooku was so surprised by this appearance he blasted immediately from the balcony the Gungan, sending it to its death dozens of metres below. Frustratingly, the Nabooian non-human executed a series of coordinated acrobatics which slowed down its fall and let him land unscathed below.

Dooku decided to ignore this issue for now. There were far worse problems now; to begin with, the thousands of spear and blaster-armed Gungans who had all taken position in the stands and were now falling upon the Geonosians.

The CIS supreme commander was not exaggerating when he said it was a massacre.

The Geonosians had come to watch an execution. They were defenceless, unless you counted the snack food in their claws as a weapon, and absolutely devoid of any military training. Now the Gungans fell upon them and explained to them in the most painful manner imaginable how monumental a mistake it was.

The old Dooku would have mourned the death of so many lives.

The new Darth Tyranus savoured the fear and the suffering of the Geonosians which engulfed the so-called 'Arena of Justice'.

The atmosphere's joy and delight had disappeared. Now the Dark Side reigned supreme.

"This is impossible!" babbled the second Neimodian, clearly alternating between outrage and disbelief. "They...they can't be there! Do something! ARRGH!"

One discreet gesture and the subordinate of the Viceroy fell dead, throat crushed and lungs lacerated by the Force.

"Execute Case Zero." The Count ordered in a calm but determined voice. "Send half a million battle-droids here immediately. Optimise them for anti-soldier protocols."

The plan, despite some setbacks, was still on its way. This was not the Republican army he had been told to expect, but due to the treaties signed a decade ago, the Gungans were citizens of the Galactic Republic. Therefore, the unauthorised landing of thousands of Gungans was quite obviously an act of war against Geonosis and the Separatists.

This wasn't going to say there wasn't going to be a disastrous fallout from this event. The Geonosians – those still alive at least – were opening their wings and flying like they had seen whipped by Sith lightning for several seconds, and the rest were utterly routed by the Gungans.

It was...deplorable and pathetic. It was going to be extremely difficult to convince certain species big on martial honour to join the Confederation after this. Fleeing from Jedi could be accepted; being decimated by an enthusiastic militia force was something else entirely.

"Count, we have a problem," Jango Fett's intervention was feeling him with dread.

"Oh?"

The Mandalorian finger pointed in direction of the reddish sky of Geonosis, and Dooku winced internally as the familiar shape of a converted Federation Battleship losing altitude and about to break in half.

The Force chose this moment to scream. There was no preliminary warning; in a single second, it was like his entire surroundings were filled with shrieks of agony and torture, and while suffering and fear should have strengthened him, this time there was no assurance, no hatred to draw into himself.

There was darkness, and then a void engulfed everything.

Dooku shivered and it came worse as he saw thousands of Geonosians begin to crash on the stones of the arena. Most of the Geonosians who had tried to flee were falling, lifeless, their bodies shells devoid of any sign of life.

Darth Tyranus watched the young woman grinning in the middle of the arena, and for the first time in a while, was truly worried about something which did not include the future or Darth Sidious.

Padme Amidala was standing here like a Queen, her white clothes creating a quite beautiful lie compared to the monstrous aura of obscurity she was shrouding herself in. Worse, the Jedi were affected too, as they guarded her with looks one usually reserved to figures of worship.

"I am Malevolent."

This was not a subtle message, but then given the amount of violence produced today, subtlety was not among the weapons worth anything on Geonosis.

"Send more droids. Priority target is the Senator of Naboo."

And that was when a violet lightsaber activated to threaten Jango Fett.

"Master Windu," Dooku saluted his colleague. "I'm afraid you are a bit late, the party has already begun without the Order."

"So I see, Count," a faint smile appeared on the stern lips of the Jedi Master. "So I see. My advice is to surrender. Enough blood has been shed today."

Some part of Dooku was tempted to do exactly that and let whatever demon possessing Amidala body endure the full might of the political shenanigans a Dark Side ritual of this magnitude deserved.

But the galaxy was bigger than the pleasure of an old man.

And the loud tumult of the gigantic droid army marching to counter-invade Gungans and the other Republican invaders was arriving to his ears.

There was over two hundred Jedi taking position in the Geonosian arena.

The day was going to end in a Confederate defeat, but he could still return to something approaching the original plan.

"A valiant rally, my old friend," Darth Tyranus bowed respectfully. "But it was a mistake to come here."

"Destroy."

The balcony where he and several dignitaries were standing suddenly found itself without supporting pillar and the Count suddenly realised he too was going part of the spectacle today.

"I should have retired a decade ago and lived the decadent life the other Counts of Serenno promised me," the former Jedi sighed in regret.

Seconds later, Darth Tyranus was fighting for his life. He didn't dare asking himself what else could go wrong today.

Author's note: This was the fourth and last chapter of my weekly détente. There may be more chapters updated this month, but for the moment The Weaver Option is going to take priority.