"Curse on open, curse on open, curse when within five feet, howler, aaand curse on open. Don't these people have anything better to do?" I said dejectedly as my illusory duplicate sorted through the wheelbarrow's worth of pissed off letters in my office. While I was confident nothing in them would hurt me, I wasn't an idiot. That was why my illusion was touching everything while I lounged on the rather comfortable sofa on the other side of the room protected by a rather intricate ward array.
The amount of mail I'd received was simply baffling. For all the stupidity I'd once assumed using owls of all creatures to deliver mail, I think I was sold. Not only had the students in my various classes throughout the day had their letters delivered home to their parents, but those same parents had time to write their own letters, curse those letters and send them back with another owl all before the day was over. Really, it was impressive.
The students had responded about as well to my declaration of oncoming hell as I'd expected them to - meaning terribly. But, I'd stuck to my guns and put my foot down. All houses were now at a point total of less than negative five-hundred, with all of the houses with the exception of Hufflepuff being closer to negative one-thousand. I didn't know what it was about Hufflepuff, but they went along with everything I said much easier than most.
Speaking of, the Durmstrang students that were taking my class as part of the Triwizard Tournament kumbaya circle of friendliness actually looked excited when I'd detailed my lesson plan. There was even a betting ring among them about who would do best.
On the flip side, both of my Beauxbatons classes ran out of the room yelling in french, which as much as I'd have liked to understand all of the gratuitous curse words they were likely throwing my way, was a language I did not speak. I really needed to make some way to translate languages for me. I'd do it once I found the Room of Requirement and got to artificing.
Out of nowhere a silvery avian thing appeared before me.
"Professor Xarion, I would appreciate it if you would report to my office at your earliest convenience. Albus Dumbledore." the bird spoke in the headmaster's voice before disappearing into the aether.
"Okay, that is awesome and I want it." I said to myself as I let the spell circles in front of my hands fade away into nothing, having reflexively summoned them the moment the bird appeared.
Giving a mental command to my illusion to keep sorting through the mail for anything that wasn't an attempt on my life or a four hour long lecture about not hurting someone's baby, I left my office and started wandering the halls in search of Dumbledore's office. I really needed to get a map of this place.
As I walked down the halls, students who saw me coming ducked into classrooms or turned away and hurried out of my path. Honestly, it was kind of funny.
"Professor Xarion!" A rather irate sounding female voice said from over my shoulder.
Turning around, I smiled. "Ah, Professor McGonagall. Would you be able to point the way to Dumbledore's office? I have no idea where I'm going."
Staring at me with rage filled eyes, she said, "I have come to retrieve you. Please follow me." I had a feeling it was a strain on her composure not to repeatedly stab me with sharp objects.
Following behind her, she expertly led me through the halls to a large statue of a golden Gryphon.
"Sherbert Lemon." she said to the statue, and a staircase slowly revealed itself.
"You know, password protected enchantments are horrible from a security standpoint." I said, wondering how the school hadn't been infiltrated yet. "It's a lot easier and a lot safer to use keyed or intent based wards. Keyed to only let in certain people at a time, and intent based to only allow people who need to see the headmaster but have no intent of doing anything-"
"That will be all, Professor Xarion. The headmaster is waiting for you." McGonagall cut me off, storming away in a huff. She had just earned herself a place on my 'Do Not Like' list.
Heading up the spiral staircase, I knocked on the door at the top. Barging in was just needlessly rude.
"Come in." Dumbledore said in a warm voice from behind the door.
I did so, and whistled in appreciation as I looked around. "You keep all of the good stuff for yourself don't you?" There were more enchanted items and powerful tomes in this one room than the rest of the school combined.
"I am surprised you are able to recognize them." Dumbledore said, sounding rather impressed from his place seated behind a large wooden desk in the center of the circular tower. "There are few who can feel the power of the items in this room."
Shrugging, I said. "I'm a bit of a craftsman so I can recognize talent when I see it, but that's not why I'm here. I'm here so you can chew me out about how my classes went and potentially fire me, am I right?"
Smiling sweetly, Dumbledore said, "You are correct; at least as far as the official record is concerned."
I raised an eyebrow at that. "And according to the unofficial record?"
"I would like to offer you my blessing to do what you must to prepare my students for the dangerous world they will inherit."
I stared at the old man with a tilted head as I tried to comprehend that. "You're telling me that you're actually on board with my whole 'put 'em through the ringer' plan?"
"I am. My first duty is to protect my students, and the more capable they are of protecting themselves, the easier that job becomes. However…." A faint breeze spread through the room as Dumbledore stood to his feet. There was no trace of his usual chipper attitude as he said, "If you seek to cause harm to my students, I will do all in my power to destroy you."
Hello, Mr. Dumbledore. It was nice to finally meet you. You never really knew a guy until he threatened to turn you into paste and showed that he was willing and able to back up that threat.
"I cannot promise you that none of them will be hurt, because they will, it's impossible to do what I'm going to put them through without emerging unscathed, but I can promise that nothing will happen to them that will permanently debilitate them. My only intention is to do my job exactly as described. And one of my key duties is to 'Prepare students to defend themself from any and all threats they may encounter in association with magic.' By the time I am through with them, there will be nothing in this world they will not be prepared to face. Outside of that, I really don't care one way or another what happens. They can hate me, they can love me, but it won't change how I approach my classes. They will be as prepared as I am capable of making them. Anything else is up to them."
Dumbledore's cold gaze bore into me for nearly a full minute. In the end, his threatening stance disappeared as quickly as it appeared. "I apologize for the little display, but I had to be sure. Lemon drop?" he said with his smile back in place as he held out a bowl of small candies.
"Thank you, but no. Was that all?"
"Yes, it was. Thank you for your time, professor, and have a good evening."
"Same to you, headmaster." I turned to leave, only to come face to face with a rather large bird standing on the ground before me.
It had bright red, orange and gold feathers and a hooked beak. Its black eyes stared up at me intently as it hopped over.
"Hello there, my friend. Who might you be?" I asked as the bird waddled right up to me, stopping at my feet to stare into my eyes.
"That would be Faux." Dumbledore answered for the bird from behind me. "He has been my loyal companion for a very long time."
"He's a phoenix, isn't he?" I asked as I knelt down next to the great bird, holding out the back of my hand to see if he shied away.
"That he is? Have you seen any of his kind before?" Dumbledore asked curiously as he walked around his desk and came up behind me.
"Not…. Not exactly."
Faux gave my hand a quick sniff, then nudged it aside with his beak as he stomped closer to me. His eyes stared into my own, and I could feel the fire within him. It was like it was calling to me.
Acting on instinct, I held up my hand and called forth a small flame of the phoenix fire I'd stolen from Riser and his sister.
Faux's eyes snapped to it instantly, and he let out a happy squawk. The bird propped his chin onto my fingers and began to purr happily as I scratched his feathers with my fire-coated fingers.
"I must say, I have never seen him react so peculiarly around anyone before." Dumbledore commented as he watched Faux raise a wing so I could scratch under it. "Are animals drawn to your presence?"
"This isn't something that will happen with anything other than a phoenix, and I'd like to leave it at that." I said as I ran my flaming fingers down Faux's spine, causing the phoenix to coo contentedly.
"Very well. I do hate to interrupt this, but it is getting late and curfew shall be in effect in a short while."
Giving Faux a parting scratch on the head, I let the fire on my fingers die and stood to my feet, raising an eyebrow at Dumbledore as I did. "I wasn't aware teachers were subject to curfew."
"They aren't. But it is oh so much fun to wander the halls and converse with students out of their dorms while strictly telling them to return to their dormitories." Dumbledore said with a sparkle in his eyes. "At my age, it is the little things one finds joy in."
"Good night, professor." I said with an amused smile on my face.
"Good night, Xarion."
I trapsed back down the spiral staircase and retraced mine and McGonagall's steps back to my office. I was sure I probably had a room assigned to me, but I didn't care enough to find it right now. I'd have the few spirits I was able to sneak into the school and find it some other time.
I plopped down on my couch and closed my eyes to drift off, my duplicate still sorting through my cursed mail in the background.