A/N: I'm back! Hmm…I realised that not a lot of people reviewed the story. Was it because it was too long? Or did people who reviewed for the first chapter and did not get their questions answered believe that they had to wait for their question to be incorporated before reviewing again? If so…please don't hold back ok? Your cooperation determines the success of the fanfic. Well here's the next chapter. I hope you like it!
All the people who've reviewed recently please check my profile for my words of thanks and to see whether your question/request is now void.
And I'm sorry that some questions weren't placed in this fic but they will be placed in future chapters so please don't be mad at me if you felt you have been slighted. They will be put in future questions.
THE BREAKFAST SHOW
THIRD SHOW
School Meanderings
By shinujigoku
(Ayame) – We have to be quiet.
(Shigure) – But…
(Ayame) – Shh…
Dust was floating in the air and our two hosts were covered in partial darkness with only a little bit of light filtering through the tiny slits in the door. From what could be seen, Ayame and Shigure were sitting in a crowed closet drinking their morning tea, a platter of crumpets resting on a bucket between them. The room is covered with cleaning materials such as mops, vacuums, crates, buckets and disinfectants, and it smells like old bleach and mildew. They were, without a doubt, hiding in the janitor's closet of Yuki's school.
(Shigure) – Ah…Aya doesn't this remind you of our old school days…when we…you know…
(Ayame) – Yes Shigure, I remember those heated days where, in our passion, we would hide in the janitor's closet and…
The door opens wide and the room is flooded with light as two teenage boys glare angrily down at them. Ayame and Shigure raise their arms against the bright light, gingerly getting up and walking out of the janitor's closet. When their eyes finally become accustomed to the light and all the dust had been removed from their clothes, Shigure smiled warmly at the two boys, whilst Ayame leapt and tried to hug the school president.
(Ayame) – YUUUUUUKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!
(Yuki) – GET OFF ME!
(Ayame) – Come now, the joys of brotherly love can only be felt when we're live on air. You know, the electricity that flutters throughout your system as we embrace…the butterflies that flutter around in your stomach as you gaze at the wonder and beauty of your brother…the –
(Kyo) – Will you shut up!
(Ayame and Shigure) – Certainly not!
(Shigure) – This is the only time we can see Yuki blush bright red. This is too much fun! Plus we're here at this school for a reason! Hey you guys!
Hatsu Haru, Momiji and Tohru walk towards the fighting quartet and wave their greeting.
(Momiji) – Hello Shigure, Ayame. What are you doing here? And why are you dressed in our school uniform? Are you returning to study?
(Shigure) – Ah, no. As much as the idea of cute little high school girls fawning over me in this flattering outfit appeals to me, I must say that is not the reason why we are here. It's just something we expect anyway! No, our dear listeners, and to you our children –
(Kyo) – Who're you calling children?
(Ayame) – Don't interrupt Kyonkyon!
(Shigure) – Yes, well…as I was saying, Aya and I are here to be your relief teacher for today. Sorry Momiji, Hatsu Haru, we're only teaching Yuki, Kyo and Tohru for today.
(Momiji) – That's ok. But the janitor's closet is not their classroom. Unless you think they're the equivalent to dustpans and mops. Ah I see it now…Kyo's hair resembles a –
Kyo pounces and grinds Momiji's head between his fists.
(Kyo) – I swear…every time you talk it just pisses me off!
(Momiji) – WAH! Somebody…Kyo's hurting me!
(Hatsu Haru) – Ah…I get it now. The heroes of the Breakfast Show were aimlessly walking around the solemn corridors of the oppressive building, when suddenly they heard the shrills of banshees and wailings coming out of the walls. Their hearts pounding, they tried to open the doors to escape the sounds, yet they were all locked. Frightened, they found that only one room was opened and they rushed inside, only realising that there was no light to ease their anguished hearts.
(Ayame) – Exactly! Only you know how to express our fear!
Kyo and Yuki both groan, rubbing their temples as an onset of a migraine looms.
(Shigure) – It's true…to an extent. Aya and I took Yuki's keys and entered the school around midnight. We thought we heard someone walking the halls and so we hid in this closet until the time you've opened the door and rescued us.
(Ayame) – Yes, yes! My brave brother rescued his beloved and now we must embrace passionately in gratitude!
Ayame tries to embrace Yuki, but Hatsu Haru beats him by hugging Yuki from behind.
(Hatsu Haru) – Ah, you're so soft Yuki.
Yuki's blush deepens while Kyo walks off muttering about "Idiots." Tohru, worried when she spots wild cats following him, decides to go with him.
(Ayame) – In the face of adversary I will succeed!
(Shigure) – Wise words!
Ayame looks at his watch.
(Ayame) – Excellent! We have time before your lesson starts. So that means we can take callers! So my cherished listeners call us on our hotline 7394637, or just press in 'sex gods' on your phone pad.
(Momiji) – Erm…I don't think that's wise. Akito and Hatori are here and you knew what happened last time you went on the air.
(Shigure) – Yes Hatori spanked me so hard…and Akito –
The sound of a wailing is heard coming from the closet. Ayame jumps behind Shigure and quivers.
(Ayame) – Shig…gur…e…is this school haunted?
(Shigure) – Erm…Aya…I think that's our truck.
(Ayame) – Oh of course it is!
Ayame bounds inside the closet and starts rummaging around the crates until he produces the fire truck and places it in front of the group.
(Shigure) – Boy that was quick! So how are you today?
(Voltra the Lively) – Hello! I'm well. Hrm…I was wondering what is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you? Tell you what…could you ask that to everyone you meet? I'd like to know.
(Shigure) – Certainly! I love embarrassing stories! Who's going first! Ah I know! Mom –
(Ayame) – YUKI!
(Yuki) – Having you as a brother would be my most embarrassing thing!
(Shigure) – Aww…come now! Don't be a spoilt sport!
(Momiji) – Yeah, come on there has to be something!
(Yuki) – Well there was the time when Tohru said my nickname, you know, Pri…Prince Yuki.
Hatsu Haru laughs evilly.
(Ayame) – Ah yes, in the throws of passion a woman's cry of passion as she yells out the nickname of her beloved can make any grown man –
(Yuki) – IT WAS NOTHING LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yuki storms off angrily.
(Ayame) – What did I say?
(Shigure) – Anyway, what about you Hatsu Haru?
(Hatsu Haru) – Well when I was young, I glanced upon this beautiful dame who walloped me one in the udders.
(Shigure) – How was that embarrassing?
(Hatsu Haru) – I really can't remember. But whatever my reaction was I've been taunted by that beautiful dame ever since. Hrm…I wonder where my classroom is?
Hatsu Haru walks off in search of his classroom.
(Ayame) – It seems that manly passion tends to make the young embarrassed! I know that shy feeling so well! What about you Momiji? Has someone rocked your boat as the youth of today say these days?
Momiji turns a bright shade of red.
(Momiji) – Well erm…yes…
(Shigure and Ayame) – TELL! TELL! TELL!
(Shigure) – Of course it is for the benefit of the listeners!
Shigure and Ayame lean over Momiji, making him appear like a cornered rabbit against two sex-crazed predators.
(Momiji) – Well…I…I…Do you remember when I took Tohru to the hot springs?
Ayame gasps.
(Ayame) – You looked at Tohru while she was having a bath! Ooh who knew you could be so dirty!
(Momiji) – No, that's not it! No, Tohru slept in the same futon as me and I woke up in the middle of the night…and I…
(Ayame) – YES! YES!
(Momiji) – I snuggled closer to her so I could hear her breathing, and you know what happens to us boys when we hug girls.
(Ayame) – Oh yes…we know!
(Shigure) – Hrm...You love her don't you?
Momiji looks up at Shigure, a saddened expression on his face.
'I better go look for Hatsu Haru before he gets lost.' Momiji muttered brusquely before walking in the direction of Hatsu Haru's exit.
(Ayame) – Well what did he say?
(Shigure) – Nothing. Don't worry about it.
The bell rings signalling the first lesson.
(Ayame) – Aww…well listeners that was an eventful morning and we still have plenty in store for you! Now it's off to a song as we set up for our live lesson where your hosts will teach the youth of today the important facts of life. So crank it up for Gazette's new single, Filth in the Beauty!
Shigure and Ayame rescue their breakfast and equipment from the janitor's closet and head towards Yuki, Tohru and Kyo's classroom on the second floor. As they climb the stairs, talking about what they'll teach the students, two dark individuals glaring angrily at them barricade them. Shigure and Ayame's eyes widen in shock.
'Akito! Hatori! It's so nice to see you!' Ayame and Shigure say in unison.
'Indeed.' Hatori murmurs silkily.
'I thought I told you to cancel the Breakfast Show?' Akito hissed furiously, climbing down the stairs to meet them.
'Oh did you?' Ayame said trying to feign ignorance.
'You know I did.' Akito faces Ayame and they have a heated "discussion" over house loyalty and the degradation of the family name, with Hatori joining in shortly after.
Unbeknownst to them, Shigure switched the 'On' button when he sensed that the song had finally finished.
(Hatori) – Ayame, you should be careful on what you disclose to live audiences. They could find out about the curse…
(Akito) – And then we'll risk being hunted down and used as some sort of freak show attraction! Do you want that!
The phone rings.
(Akito) – What the hell is that awful sound!
(Ayame) – That's our fire truck!
Ayame, who was desperate for a distraction, bounded over to Shigure and rescued his beloved fire truck. Noticing that Shigure had put them on air, he smiled scandalously at Shigure in silent approval.
(Akito) – Well switch it off!
(Ayame) – Nuh uh uh! It's my property and it doesn't follow your oppressive rules. Hello caller?
(Doggy Ears n Emily) – Hi! I was wondering whether the person you're talking to was a guy or a girl?
(Ayame) – What Akito?
(Doggy Ears n Emily) – Yeah!
Shigure and Ayame look towards Akito and smile sadistically.
(Shigure) – Oh…Akito's a girl!
(Akito) – SHIGURE! What if the others were listening?
(Shigure) – It's about time they learnt the truth don't you think. Thanks caller!
The phone rings again.
(Shigure) – Do you see now that this show's doing ok Akito, Hatori?
(Ayame) – Hello caller! What is your request?
(Mariya Kutana) – Hello Aya, Shigure! Since I know Akito's there now I was wondering why she is so mean to Tohru?
(Akito) – HOW DO YOU KNOW I'M HERE?
Shigure's smile broadens and he shows her that they've been on air for quite some time. Akito lunges for Shigure but he merely sidesteps and wags his finger at her in admonishment.
(Ayame) – Well, Akito? We all want to know why you treat her with so much disdain. Such a pretty and sweet person that she is.
(Akito growling) – Because she sickens me. Everyone loves her and her childlike manner. An outsider taking away everything that is precious to me! She's making our family tear apart!
(Shigure) – It's not true. It's a shame that you can't see past your hatred.
(Akito) – I don't need to listen to you.
Akito storms off and Shigure sighs sadly. Both Ayame and Shigure look at Hatori who's leaning against the wall, his dark blackish green hair covering his eyes.
(Shigure) – Come Hatori! Join us as we teach Yuki's class today the necessities of life!
(Hatori) – What idiot made you two relief teachers?
(Shigure) – Hey we're on air! Treat us as heavenly gods that have come to recount our illustrious life to our fans.
(Shigure and Ayame) – YOSH!
(Hatori) – Oh give it a rest. I'll join you only because I have to give Yuki his monthly check-up.
(Ayame) – Excellent! Ok and now we go to a Commercial break. This time us hosts won't be advertising for you today, but our automated Commercial talker will be. So see you after the break.
Ayame hands over the microphone to Hatori and smiles sweetly. Hatori, nonplussed, looks questioningly at Shigure. Grinning, he leans in and whispers in his ear. Hatori groans.
(Commercial man a.k.a. Hatori) –
Go and get a check up with Dr. Hatori Sohma.
P.S. And stop listening to these idiots.
Noticing that the hosts of the show had left him standing on the stairwell, Hatori sighed and began walking leisurely towards Yuki's classroom.
(Ayame) – Hello my little pets! Now listen closely! You are all on live air and the listeners of the Breakfast Show are all paying attention to your teachers for today! I am the beloved brother of Yuki, and this is Shigure Sohma.
Hatori walks into the classroom and sits silently in the corner of the room.
(Shigure) – And I guess we're back! If you're just tuning in we are now coming to you live from the local high school as we teach these youngsters the importance of life. But first we'll have a little Q and A session to know each other better!
The fire truck rings loudly and several of the students jump out of their seats in shock.
(Shigure) – Oh don't worry littlies! It's only big daddy's fire truck!
Yuki, Kyo, Hana and Arisa all groan in dismay.
(Ayame) – Hello! Hello! You called just in time! We're doing a Q and A session right now! It's great that a listener can start of the questioning to break the ice! So hit us!
(DesirePassion) – Greetings! I want to thank you, Shigure and Ayame, for answering my questions the last time.
(Ayame) – Ooh, you're an ongoing caller?
(DesirePassion) – Yep!
(Ayame) – Well we bow down and worship you!
Ayame and Shigure Kowtow to the fire truck much to the astonishment of the students, and Hatori.
(Shigure) – So what're your questions?
(DesirePassion) – Well the first one's to you Shigure. How do you feel about dating short girls? I'm seventeen and only 4 foot and ten inches tall.
(Shigure) – I don't see why I shouldn't date shorter girls. They're cuter and softer to cuddle, plus they fit nicely under your arm when you're either walking with them or watching a movie in the cinemas. But I don't necessarily look at stature as an important necessity in a relationship. Personality, loyalty and respect are what I look for in a girl, and if she has them I'm hooked. Hopefully that's all right for an answer.
(Ayame) – Hrm…and you're other question? Is it for me?
(DesirePassion) – Yep. Who do you like the most, Hatori, Shigure or Yuki?
Shigure, Yuki and Hatori still as they watch Ayame's expression closely. Ayame looked from one anticipating face to the other and his expression saddened.
(Ayame) – I like them all. All three have been an important part of my life and I owe them so much for just accepting and appreciating me just as I am. So I'm sorry I can't choose.
Yuki, Shigure and Hatori smile warmly at Ayame.
(Hatori) – That's the first time I've ever heard you say something tangible.
(Ayame) – I always say something tangible! It's just a matter of deciphering my elegant words that flow from my beautiful mouth to the deep and meaningful words that affect your heart and soul.
Hatori rolls his eyes.
(Shigure) – Thanks for calling! Much appreciated and I hope you call again! Hrm…so what about you my sweet high school girls? No questions for your impish sensei?
Shigure looks at all the drooling, lovesick females in the classroom expectantly. When no answer was forth coming he mouthed to Hatori to 'act like a girl.'
(Ayame) – Hrm…I guess they're still so shy. Hey what if we gave them their first lesson for today, something all our audiences know as 'Fashion Fiesta!'
(Shigure) – Yes, I think it'll be a beneficial part of their life. Give us your wisdom!
(Ayame) – Well girls and boys, do you know the importances of socks are in our daily life?
The students look at him in confusion.
(Ayame) – Well, not only are they the barriers against tight and sometimes uncomfortable shoes, but they are a necessary fashion accessory! Don't ever be fooled to believe that you are wearing pants and no one can see your socks. It's a fashion no-no to wear light coloured socks under dark pants. Always go dark. And to girls, if you want to wear thigh coloured socks, always make sure that it compliments your outfit by having a colour that compliments it. It's rudimentary, but it happens to be the bane of most people's fashion sense. 'Tis a shame!
(Shigure) – And you heard it from the man himself, the fashion tycoon Ayame Sohma!
Ayame bows to the class to the applause and squealing of his now forming 'Prince Ayame Sohma Fan Club'
(Ayame) – Thank you! Thank you!
(Shigure) – So what next Aya?
The door crashes open and an incensed Akito comes in with a baseball bat. Ayame and Shigure's eyes widen and they scramble to get all their equipment into their arms and out of the window. Akito makes a dash at the window and Shigure flies out through the window, Ayame following suit. They land in the school's rosebushes, much to the astonishment of the gardener.
(Ayame) – Well I guess that's all folks. Until next time!
(Gardener) – You hooligans! Get out of my rosebushes!
The gardener realising that they've broken the stems of some of the bushes in half began brandishing his rake at them. Ayame and Shigure leapt into the air and ran with their equipment in their hands across the school grounds.
(Shigure singing) –
So long! Fair well! I bid to say adieu…argh…
Goodbye nnnoooowwww!
NOTES ON FIC:
Udders: Do Ox have udders?
Embarrassing Stories: Sorry that the guys most embarrassing moments tended to revolve around girls. You see I don't know what guys get embarrassed over and I asked my brother who's the same age as Yuki and the others and he said that he finds associating with girls embarrassing. (Then again my brother's EXTREMELY shy.) So if there's a guy that reads this fanfic, could you give me an outlining as to what makes guys embarrassed for future reference? (Since I still have all the other male zodiacs and Yuki's friends to ask.)
Kowtow: It's a reverent bowing to people of power in old Asia. (I don't know if they still do it.)
A/N: REVIEW! Hrm…oh and tell me your thoughts on homework. I might do something concerning it in the next fic. Remember you are the callers! So ask any question to anyone in Fruits Basket.