How to Love
Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga
Warning: shounen ai, violent language (Jr's)
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"Wake up, Jr," chaos whispered to the red headed boy who slept beside him. Jr only moved a bit. "Jr… Wake up," chaos tried for once again. No responses. That U.R.T.V slept peacefully.
Finally, chaos gave up. He had tried to wake Jr up for 2 hours, but that boy slept like a bear. chaos wore his gloves, and then he glared at Jr. He snored. chaos giggled. He walked out slowly.
"Don't… go…" Jr murmured. chaos' steps frozen up. The silver haired boy turned back at the other boy. He still sleeps. However, forced by his caring personality, chaos decided to stay. He stroked Jr's red hair softly.
"chaos…" Jr started to murmur again, "Do you love me…?"
chaos was startled by that question. Yesterday, they were sleeping together—only sleeping and nothing more than that—since Jr felt lonely. But, is that caused by love? chaos can't answer that question.
"chaos…" Jr rolled to the other side of the bed. He almost fell down if chaos didn't hold him.
"What is it, Jr?" chaos asked carefully.
"chaos… Where are you?" Jr murmured. He held chaos' left hand.
"I'm here," chaos answered, "Right beside you."
"Don't lie to me," Jr mumbled, "I know you're not here. Damn it… How could you leave me?"
"I'm not leaving," chaos replied, "I'm here. You're holding my hand. Are you really sleeping, Jr?"
"…I'm afraid," Jr cried, "I'm afraid that I lost you."
Drops of icy tears fell from Jr's closed eyes. chaos wiped them, he touched Jr's hand.
"You won't lose me," chaos whispered. Jr held chaos' hand tighter.
"chaos, please, stay here…" Jr cried, "I need you… I want you…"
chaos stroked Jr's hair again. Then, suddenly, he kissed Jr's forehead. chaos himself wondered why did he do that…
Is it because of love?
It feels… Like some part of my heart were opened…
If it's not love, then what is it?
I don't know…
I don't know…
Jr opened his eyes. He was confused. "What happened? Oh, hell yeah, I came here last night, then I decided to sleep here, too," he mumbled. He looked at chaos, who was blushing greatly. "chaos, what the hell was happened to you? Your face was all red… Are you sick?" he asked.
chaos shook his head shyly. "I'm okay. It was hard to wake you up, Jr," he said in calm tone, although his heart was beating really fast.
"You look sick, you know," Jr put his forehead on chaos' forehead, which makes chaos' face redder than before. "It's weird; your temperature is not high at all," Jr continued.
chaos shrugs his shoulders. Right before he pushed Jr's head away, Jr touched chaos' lips with his own lips firmly. chaos was surprised by that 'sudden attack'. After some minutes, Jr pulled his lips back, and his face was all red.
Both of them can't talk, their voice were locked by some invisible force. They only stared at each other. Finally, Jr broke the silence, "F…Forget about that. Damn it, I couldn't control myself… I… What the hell am I thinking about? Damn, damn, damn…" he mumbled randomly.
"…It's not like I dislike that moment," chaos muttered. Jr stared at him with unbelieving expression on his face. "Honestly… It was my very first kiss," chaos added shyly.
"Really? That was my very first one, either," Jr replied cheerfully, "You know what, chaos? I've been waiting for this moment all this time. Holy crap, I never thought that you feel the same way…"
"But please, don't do it so suddenly. I was shocked… Next time, warn me first," chaos smiled.
"Warn you? How?" Jr asked.
"Like this," chaos put his point finger on Jr's lips, then he pressed his lips onto Jr's lips for some seconds, "Did you get it?" he continued with an innocent smile.
"Nah, that's not my style. This is more like it," Jr pulls his face closer to chaos' and pushed his lips onto chaos'. This time, chaos pulled his own lips before even 1 second. "Hey! What the hell…" Jr complained.
"Enough. My face will burnt if you did it once again," chaos smiled. Jr grunted. "You may do it later," the silver haired boy added when he stepped outside. Jr's face turned into a very happy face.
"All right then!" Jr ran out from the room, he hugged chaos, "Love you so much," he whispered to chaos' ears.
"Love you too," chaos replied.
I love you; love you more than everything I have…
If I should die for you, then I'll die in your arms.
If I should give all I have for you, then I'll give more than that.
I love you…
I love you…
Even I don't know the true meaning of love…
Perhaps this is the meaning of love for me.
Thank you, Jr.
You're the one who taught me how to love…
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Finished! My first shounen ai fic! I made this when I was listening to Jr's Theme which I downloaded from Caliber—one of Jr's fanlisting.
For shounen ai haters, please don't kill me. I'm just trying to write a new type of fic!
Besides, I'm a fan of chaos x Jr myself.
Review please, but no flaming. Critical comments would be appreciated though.