A/N: Woot! The line break is working again! Um...sees pissed off readers Uh oh...quickly picks up garbage can lid for a shield and a wooden baseball bat to smash rotten food, flaming cattle skulls and everything else away

Hey guys I'm back! How long has it been? Three or four weeks, no? I'm really sorry about the long wait but everything's been so hectic lately. They day after I came back from camping I heard on the radio that Steve Irwin had died. I was in shock for several days after that. I had to do assignments for school (it's almost holidays). In fact, I've just arrived home about and hour ago (it's currently 1:34pm Wednesday the 20th of September) after going to South Bank to watch the memorial service on the big screen in the Suncorp Piazza. I went with friends, one of whom knew the man. While everyone was clapping along I realised that in that moment, thousands of people were united. A beautiful thought really.

Okay, this is probably going to be the last update (there's a possibility of one more short chappy if I get enough reviews) for at least one or two weeks. I'll try to update during the second week of holidays before I have to go back to school. Starting on the 23rd, I am going camping for 7 days. I will be no where near computers for that time span. Sorry.

I hope I didn't lose anybody after the last chapter. Look, I know it was lame and for that I'm sorry. I did warn you at the beginning of the chapter that Ed was OOC.

Anyway, in a situation like the following, people do have a tendency to go phsyco over little things and try to deal with bad stuff with humour.

Disclaimer: IT IS NOT MINE! I DO NOT OWN FMA! IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF THEY ALL HAPPEN TO LIVE IN MY HEAD AND MAKE CLONES OF THEMSELVES AND HAVE BABIES AT AN ALARMING RATE!

... I just said that out loud... didn't I...?

Chapter 16

A Quiet Comparison

Lita sighed. She had not been looking forward to this the whole trip back and judging by Ed's posture an expression neither had he.

The two were sitting on the couches in Mustang's office, Li on one and Ed on the other. Both were still utterly embarrassed about their little role play and prayed that news of it wouldn't reach HQ. They especially hoped it wouldn't reach Mustang, Tromp or Hughes. They were the three major gossips, Hughes more so. They also agreed that that little detail would be left out of the report.

After 5 more minutes of waiting in silence, Mustang finally entered the room with 3 cups of steaming hot coffee. Mustang handed them one each and then sat at his desk with his cup of coffee, already drinking it.

Ed and Li each took a careful sip of their coffee as the liquid was still burning hot. As soon as the fluid made contact with their tastebuds, they made disgusted faces, moved the coffee away from their mouths and forced themselves to swallow. Then:

"Blech! This is white coffee!"

"Yeah, so?" Roy replied taking another swig of his coffee.

"It has milk!" (A/N: Ed and Li are speaking in unison)

"So?"

"It has milk!"

"I still don't see the problem."

"Milk is disgusting! I refuse to drink anything secreted from a cow!"

This was about when Roy got an evil idea and continued to play dumb. (A/N: Play? Hah!)

"What's the problem? Milk has calcium. Calcium is good for bones. It helps you get stronger and taller. Goodness knows it wouldn't hurt either of you. You're both so short."

Idiot.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL THAT THEY COULD EASILY BE MISTAKEN FOR A CHILD'S DOLL!"

Dwut Dwut – Roy blinked.

"Ooookaaay," Roy said, drawing the word out "I expected that from Fullmetal, but not you Cortez."

"Yes, well," Li started "Brigadier General Tromp learned the hard way too."

Ed and Li dropped back into their seats.

"Tell me about what you found," Roy requested seriously.

Li nodded, so did Ed "Right," they replied.

"We're going to have to move fast. She doesn't look too good," Li told him.

"It might be better if everyone was here so we only have to go through this once," Ed suggested.

"Yes, definitely," Roy nodded "I want both of you to go fetch Major Hughes, Second Lieutenant Havoc, Sergeant Major Halaway, Sergeant Green, Corporal Tarot and Alphonse. If you can get Brigadier General Tromp to come too, it wouldn't hurt."

"Yes, sir," Li responded as she stood and saluted. She dropped the salute, turned and began to leave. Ed quickly jumped up and went after her. They closed the door behind them.

Roy watched the short Private and the equally short alchemist leave the room. He waited until the doors closed and he was certain that they were gone before rising from his chair and moving to stand in front of his window, his hands behind his back. He stood so close to the window that he was practically pressed up against it.

He looked up at the sky.

"It looks like it's going to rain again," he muttered to himself.

Clouds were growing larger, darker and more ominous in the sky, slowly blocking out the mid-morning sun. It wasn't just going to rain, it was going to storm.

He sighed sadly. He leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the large window. His arms fell to his sides and his eyes slid shut. A tear escaped and rolled down his cheek.

Steam rose in twist and coils, being manipulated by the air around it. The three cups of coffee, one half-empty, sat forgotten on the desk behind Roy and the coffee table between the two couches. They were rapidly losing their heat. They were quickly becoming cold and undrinkable. They would soon be too cold to re-heat and be saved.

A/N: Sorry, a little more rambling from me.

A brownie to the person who can figure out why this chapter is called what it is called and tell me what the comparison is.

Next Chapter: We check in on Riza.

Next, Next Chapter: A crappy filler with plenty of humour mixed in. I think I must've been on something when I wrote it. Probably Crack.

BTW, I don't do crack. Or any drugs for that matter.

Again, my apologies for the long wait. Sorry. Entschuldigung. Tut mir Lied. Gomen Nasai. Um... Oh crap! I don't know how to say sorry in any more languages. (A cookie for whoever can tell me what the second and third languages are)

R&R! Please!